date best for guests... but then no immediate honeymoon? yes or no?

[Green with Envy]

Here was my original question... thx for advice. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/week-day-weddings-yes-or-no.122326/
We are considering a weekday wedding because the venue we have fallen in love with... it is affordable on a Thursday and Fr/St/Sun it is NOT.

Next question.... I need help with pros and cons.

Our families are all OOT so wedding is like DW for them. Most are retired so they will come anytime with no concerns about work.
A majority of friends are local and could just leave work 1-2 hrs early so Thursday wedding is FINE for us.

HOWEVER... there are 2-3 school teachers who are spouses of planned guests and they probably 100% could not make it to a weekday wedding if it is right at the start of the school year in September.

So we could do a weekday wedding at end of July to make it better for guests, but then we could not go on our honeymoon until September because during summer we ourselves can''t take off more than 3 days for a wedding. (but we could take 2 weeks off from work after summer)

Do you think I will regret not being able to take a vacation right after the stress of getting through the wedding?

Second issue is that all hotels are more expensive during July vs. September and close to where we live/ wedding... the beach hotels will be super busy.

Better to stick with september and know some close family/friends can''t attend... or move wedding to summer and this means higher costs for guest related to travel/hotels and we ourselves can''t take more than 3 days off so will wait for Fall honeymoon?

 

[mrscushion]

It depends on how much you want those people that might not come in September at your wedding.

However, it sounds to me from your description that you may lose a few guests either way -- in July due to a higher expense of attending your wedding and in September due to the spouses'' work schedules. In that case, I would probably go with September.

 

[Elmorton]

I would do the July wedding. My biggest regret about our wedding IS taking the honeymoon right after the wedding! After the wedding, you don''t want a vacation, you just want a bed...I seriously slept through half of our (somewhat expensive) honeymoon AND what I really wanted to do the whole time was be back at home settling into our new lives together. We were married in June, and by September, I really wanted the vacay alone with DH. In a perfect world, I would have gone somewhere local for a weekend at a hotel right after the wedding and then taken a real honeymoon when I had the energy to enjoy it.

 

[Lilac]

DH and I got married in February and we''re leaving on our honeymoon tomorrow! We didn''t take a honeymoon immediately because I couldn''t take off of school and he couldn''t take off work at that time. There are pros and cons either way:

Going immediately:
- Pro: You get to go relax on a vacation right after the wedding!
- Con: It''s all over pretty quickly and if you''re too exhausted you might not enjoy it as much as you could

Waiting to go:
- Pro: You have something to continue to plan and look forward to a couple weeks or months later!
- Con: You have to go right back into everyday life immediately after the wedding (which is hard when you''re so tired!)

Honestly, as tired as I was after the wedding, I''m still happy we had to wait to take our honeymoon. I wouldn''t have enjoyed it as much right away because I was too exhausted. And it''s been so much fun these last few months planning it and looking forward to it, and now that we''re leaving tomorrow it''s so exciting!!! Only you know how important it is to you to have a vacation right away after the wedding, but from my experience, I loved still having our honeymoon to look forward to and plan together 6 months later!

 

[Barcelona]

What about doing the July wedding and then spending Friday and Saturday at a B&B near by? You would still get a nice break and time to relax and then take the big honeymoon in September.

 

[Allison D.]

I''ll be the voice of the alternate perspective.

I had a smaller wedding, so I can''t say it was as ''stressful'' as planning the full-blown affair that most gals do. But still, there was much anticipation and emotion leading up to the wedding, and it was SO NICE to have that special time to ourselves after the wedding. We married on a Sunday late afternoon followed by a sunset cruise reception. Because we didn''t leave for our honeymoon until Tuesday morning, we had Monday to send off out of town family and return things, finish packing, etc.

We were gone for a total of nine days, and it was heavenly. For me, it was nice to have that time together with just each other after the hub-bub and activity of family and friends. It truly felt like a honeymoon and not just another vacation.

Interestingly enough, we had initially considered a delayed honeymoon because our first choice was London. However, the rates are highest in summer so we considered going on our honeymoon in Sept/Oct instead. Ultimately, we decided it was important to both of us to have our honeymoon right away, so we chose another location and decided to leave London for an anniversary trip which can be done off-time.

Looking back, I''d make the same choice again to honeymoon right after the wedding.

As far as the guests go, it sounds like some may make trade-offs either way, but September seems to best fit your plans best, so I''d stick to September and do the right-away honeymoon.

 

[honey22]

Pick the date that suits you and your husband. You can''t please all your guests, so you might as well please yourselves. I am not sure we can swing a honeymoon due to tight finances, and it''s really getting me down. I would abolutely love the chance to get away straight after the wedding, and the closer I get the big day, the more I feel like a holiday!!!! I think it''s important to spend time as a newlywed with your new hubby and get away together, just the two of you. Can you imagine what an anticlimax it would be to come straight home and get stuck back into work?

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 8/13/2009 10:09:18 AM
Author: mscushion
It depends on how much you want those people that might not come in September at your wedding.

However, it sounds to me from your description that you may lose a few guests either way -- in July due to a higher expense of attending your wedding and in September due to the spouses'' work schedules. In that case, I would probably go with September.

I agree.

 

[so cal girl]

Green - I''m not sure what venue you''re looking at (I just took a quick glance through your other post and I didn''t see it), but my BIL got married at the Wayfarer''s Chapel on a Thursday morning with a lunch reception in King''s Harbor in Redondo Beach, and they saved a lot of money. Since money was an issue with them, it was relatively small wedding (I think about 80 guests), and most of the people they invited ended up coming. Most were from out of town, and came in on Wednesday and stayed until Sunday. It was a nice little vacation for them.

On to the topic of this post. If having the wedding in September will only effect 2-3 people, but will allow you to go on your honeymoon right away, I would choose September for the wedding. First of all, you said the teachers are spouses of planned guests. Do you think the planned guests might still come without their spouses? I have been to DW without my DH, since sometimes it doesn''t fit into both of our schedules to go.

In addition, I LOVED being able to go on my honeymoon right after the wedding. It gave me some relaxation time to look forward to with just my DH after all the stress of wedding planning. We ended up even taking a couple of days off after we go back into town from our honeymoon. The time off was much needed after all the wedding planning!

 

[Haven]

We took our honeymoon right after the wedding. We left two days after, I believe, and it was *the best vacation* I have ever had.

I''m not sure if it was because we were on a love-infected-ohmigoshwejustgotmarried!!!! high, or because St. John was so incredibly beautiful, or because we had just seen all of our nearest and dearest at the wedding and all of that community love rubbed off, but I would not trade our right-after-the-wedding honeymoon for anything.

We went away for ten nights, and we were seriously blissed out the entire time. We tend to travel really well together, anyway, but the honeymoon was so incredibly fun and relaxing and romantic and special. I think there''s something about being away just the two of you immediately after your marriage that is very special.

We had a decent-sized wedding with 150 guests, but I''m not the type to stress out about anything so I can''t say I was very stressed out. I was a little tired the day after the wedding, but that melted away when we got off the plane to start our honeymoon.

 

[Green with Envy]

Date: 8/13/2009 8:11:26 PM
Author: so cal girl
"Green - I'm not sure what venue you're looking at (I just took a quick glance through your other post and I didn't see it), but my BIL got married at the Wayfarer's Chapel on a Thursday morning with a lunch reception in King's Harbor in Redondo Beach, and they saved a lot of money. Since money was an issue with them, it was relatively small wedding (I think about 80 guests), and most of the people they invited ended up coming. Most were from out of town, and came in on Wednesday and stayed until Sunday. It was a nice little vacation for them. "


Yes... wayfarer is one place we are considering. We can afford our favorite places on Thursday... but the places to hold reception for Friday or saturday night is what is way too much $$. We both love to dance so an evening reception felt more appropriate for celebrating on a dance floor!

So we are considering if we do Thursday... is it better to do Thursday during summer when many OOT can make a mini vacation of it like you described... or do it on a Thursday in Sept when traditionally less people (teachers) can go on vacation.

I am hoping if we do during summer and then we can't go on a long 2 week honeymoon immediately after wedding... at least we might plan to "escape" for a long weekend or something right after the wedding. So then we get a mini honeymoon AND an extended honeymoon/vacation several months later.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 8/14/2009 12:31:43 AM
Author: Green with Envy

Date: 8/13/2009 8:11:26 PM

Author: so cal girl

''Green - I''m not sure what venue you''re looking at (I just took a quick glance through your other post and I didn''t see it), but my BIL got married at the Wayfarer''s Chapel on a Thursday morning with a lunch reception in King''s Harbor in Redondo Beach, and they saved a lot of money. Since money was an issue with them, it was relatively small wedding (I think about 80 guests), and most of the people they invited ended up coming. Most were from out of town, and came in on Wednesday and stayed until Sunday. It was a nice little vacation for them. ''

Yes... wayfarer is one place we are considering. We can afford our favorite places on Thursday... but the places to hold reception for Friday or saturday night is what is way too much $$. We both love to dance so an evening reception felt more appropriate for celebrating on a dance floor!

So we are considering if we do Thursday... is it better to do Thursday during summer when many OOT can make a mini vacation of it like you described... or do it on a Thursday in Sept when traditionally less people (teachers) can go on vacation.

I am hoping if we do during summer and then we can''t go on a long 2 week honeymoon immediately after wedding... at least we might plan to ''escape'' for a long weekend or something right after the wedding. So then we get a mini honeymoon AND an extended honeymoon/vacation several months later.

I didn''t mention this above, but DH and I actually also took a long weekend vacation together (although still not immediately after the wedding) and are just now going on our 10 day honeymoon. If it''s possible for you to do this, I would DEFINITELY recommend it. It''s the best of both worlds! You get to get away after the wedding for a couple days together, and still have time to look forward to a long 2 week honeymoon later on!