December or May wedding?

[curiopotter]

Ugh, dilemma.


Well, FFI and I were discussing setting a wedding date a few days ago, and the dilemma approached... We''re both still in college, I graduate in December of ''08, he won''t finish until ''10. We have two academic breaks that will allow us enough time for the wedding and honey moon, but they''re both awkward dates..


We live in Houston, and plan on staying here for the wedding. IF we do it in May of ''08, it would be toward the end of the month and would be a beach wedding.. but we won''t have a lot of time for a honey moon, because he''s planning on doing an internship (it could be in Houston, it could be far away, but either way I''m moving with him) and since it''s a hypothetical job right now, because he doesn''t actually HAVE the internship, it could really ruin our plans if his employer expects him to begin working after the spring semester ends. It also only leaves 9 months to plan a wedding.

If we do a Winter wedding, we have between Dec. 10th until Jan 10th, BUT there''s Christmas and New Years, and the possibility of being able to book a date during that month could be really hard with all the holiday parties.. and also the expense of traveling during a peak season. I also don''t know if it''s appropriate to ask guests to come to a wedding and spend more money during that month than they usually have to.

We both would rather have a winter wedding, but we''re unsure how people would respond to going to a wedding in December.

I''m so conflicted, and I just needed some insight. What should I do?

 

[E B]

Date: 8/20/2007 12:21:21 PM
Author:curiopotter

We both would rather have a winter wedding, but we're unsure how people would respond to going to a wedding in December.


I'm so conflicted, and I just needed some insight. What should I do?

It sounds like a December wedding is not only what'd work best for you, but what you want the most. Would a lot of your family and friends be flying in? I'd personally stay as far away from Christmas or New Year's as possible, because family and friends will likely have family plans of their own during those times.

What about the weekend of December 13th? That's not too close to Christmas. And since you have a lot of time before Dec. of '08, you could book your venues early. I'm not sure about peak season rates, but if you let your guests know about your date early, they could have plenty of time to book at an affordable rate.

 

[neatfreak]

How big is this hypothetical wedding? If it's just close friends and family, then I don't think anyone will mind all being together at the holidays for your wedding. If it is considerably bigger, then you just need to understand that some people won't come because of it. But my thinking is that the people that are important to you will make an effort to be there, and you will only cut out the unnecessary people.

Assuming that your friends and relatives celebrate x-mas, I think that is more important to stay away from than new years. Could you do a January 5 wedding and then just do a "mini-moon" for a few days? Then you could take a real honeymoon later.

If you're willing to forgo the honeymoon right after, it opens up a lot of dates. FI and I are graduate students and we're getting married smack in the middle of the semester. We're just not taking a honeymoon until a later date.

 

[Independent Gal]

If it were me, I'd say definitely do the May '08 if you prefer it, because of all the 'if's' that would have to come to pass for that not to work out:

1) IF he gets the job, then he could still negotiate a slightly later start date
2) IF he can't negotiate it, you could still take a 'mini-moon' and plan the Big Trip for slightly later.

As for planning a wedding in 9 months, I actually don't think that's so hard unless you're aiming for a very popular month or location. A few of us have been posting about how, 1-2 months after getting engaged, everything's pretty much done. You would have to get going right away though on picking a dress (you'll need 6-8 months start to finish on that if you're ordering one instead of buying off the rack) and booking a location. But so long as you do get going now and be diligent, 9 months is plenty of time!

ETA: just noticed you'd both rather have a winter wedding... then go for it! Why not? Just realize a handful more people might not be able to come. But as long as it's not Christmas Day, you should be ok, I think.

 

[luckystar112]

Curio...have you considered spring break? hmm...that wouldn''t leave much time for a honeymoon though. You could always do your honeymoon later...

I think that if you want a december wedding, you should go for it!

I''d just start looking at places asap....an send save the dates asap so that your guests can prepare. Are you going to have a ton of OOT guests?

I was in the same dillemna, but opted for an August wedding in Virginia. (August in TEXAS?! YEAH RIGHT!! lol.)

 

[curiopotter]

Most of my family would fly in from Puerto Rico.. and I told them I''d have a date set by the end of next month so they can book their flights. Speaking to them, they all seemed to be excited about the December wedding, but they would fly to Kilimanjaro just to see me get married. It''s really his side of the family that worries me.. although he will have less family than I will have at the wedding, so I''m not worried about it too much.

I guess you''re right, as long as we keep it early, it won''t feel too ''christmasy''

 

[sera]

As long as it works for you with the guests and where you want to go for you honeymoon, if you want a December wedding, go for it! Wintery white weddings... or reds... or greens... lovely.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/20/2007 12:43:11 PM
Author: Independent Gal
1) IF he gets the job, then he could still negotiate a slightly later start date
2) IF he can''t negotiate it, you could still take a ''mini-moon'' and plan the Big Trip for slightly later.

DUH! See, THIS is what I (also) still have yet to learn.....
A wedding is a HUGE deal, and a perfectly good excuse to miss work or delay a new job....whatever.

I forget that a lot too. I''m always worrying about "well what if"? I have to tell myself that it''s my WEDDING...not a day at the park. It''s a circumstance that employers will accomodate your for.

 

[surfgirl]

Curio, do what you WANT to do. You hopefully only get married once so do it when you want to do it! You could do a Feb wedding??? Just to stay away from the holidays...but it sounds like people will come anyway so just stay in the beginning of Dec or late Jan. I think winter weddings are wonderful!

 

[ladyciel]

If you really want the December wedding, go for it. People will have plenty of time to plan ahead, and though the trip will be near Christmas, some of the major costs (airfare, gift, etc) can be paid for way in advance. Hotel probably has to be paid for at that time, but if they make reservations ahead of time they''ll know what costs to expect.

It''s true that things like flowers and entertainment may be more expensive that month because you''re competing with all sorts of holiday/corporate/benefit shindigs. Make sure you book early before schedules fill up! Also, ask any potential venues what their holiday decorations look like and if they''ll be up for your date. If you don''t want a X-mas feel to your reception, then existing decorations could be a downside. On the other hand, you may be able to save money because the room is likely to already have a festive feel to it. I attended a Dec 27th wedding in Fl a few years ago, and the bride and groom saved a bunch of money on decor. They really didn''t have to do ANYTHING to the reception location. It already had white lights strung up everywhere and a xmas tree beside the dance floor and DJ setup. The family that flew into town thought of it as a unique opportunity to all be together for Xmas, not as an inconvenience to their Xmas plans. To save on December expenses in the future, the bride and groom agreed that with the exception of "special" anniversaries, their gifts to each other would be actions rather than purchased items since it''d be hard to come up w/ anni gifts 2 days after Xmas.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We have been to a few december weddings. One early dec, one by x-mas, one new year''s eve (all in Ohio at that

). One was the Saturday before x-mas which did cause some problems with my MIL planning her family''s x-mas dinner

. They are both teachers so I am sure they chose it for similar reasons you are chosing your dates. I would honestly chose the date that works the best for the two of you. Someone is ALWAYS going to complain and some people ALWAYS won''t be able to make it. That is just how it goes. I personally wouldn''t want to get married when it is cold but since you are in Houston that shouldn''t be a problem. Also I don''t like holidays to be too close together. I am wierd about stuff like that.

 

[april diamonds]

I say go winter. It''s what you both really want and it''s your wedding right, might as well do what you REALLY want. A lot of people wlil take honeymoons awhile after the wedding (i know some people don''t like that idea, myself included) but sometimes it just works out better that way (i might end up doing it that way even though I''d rather go right after the wedding). But if you look on the bright side then you can save up more money to go somewhere "better".

I would say not to worry about how people feel about coming to a wedding in Dec (unless you''re going to have it Christmas weekend). And if it''s a small wedding with close friends and family they might not mind so much. You could do like a desitination wedding and all celebrate you wedding and christmas together!

Also, if you fly week days the week of christmas it tends to be cheaper so you could always shift your honeymoon to like a wednesday to wednesday insted of weekend to weekend.

On the other hand, when your FI gets his internship, just have him explain up front that you''re getting married and would like that time off. Almost all places will understand and be willing to either give him the time off or just move the starting date or end date.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[so cal girl]

If you want a winter wedding, have a winter wedding. Having a wedding in December can work out perfectly. My sister got married last December, and most of the invited guests came, many from across the country. My sister also planned her wedding in about 8 months, and had no problem booking vendors. I would plan it as early in December as possible, and you could still do some lovely winter themes. Good luck!

 

[Steel]

I got married in December, so a winter wedding gets my vote.

If you are both ''ready to commit to each other'' why wait ''till next year?

 

[jcrow]

Date: 8/20/2007 1:36:36 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
We have been to a few december weddings. One early dec, one by x-mas, one new year''s eve (all in Ohio at that

). One was the Saturday before x-mas which did cause some problems with my MIL planning her family''s x-mas dinner

. They are both teachers so I am sure they chose it for similar reasons you are chosing your dates. I would honestly chose the date that works the best for the two of you. Someone is ALWAYS going to complain and some people ALWAYS won''t be able to make it. That is just how it goes. I personally wouldn''t want to get married when it is cold but since you are in Houston that shouldn''t be a problem. Also I don''t like holidays to be too close together. I am wierd about stuff like that.

true dat. ha.
anyway, i vote december. if you start scoping out places now you should have plenty of time to snag a great place!

 

[curiopotter]

Thanks guys... December 13th it is..

It''s too difficult to plan something for May, because of his impending internship... too many ''what ifs''

Plus, the weather here is really really nice in December.

 

[Independent Gal]

Yay! December 13th sounds great. Unless it''s a friday...

 

[curiopotter]

Date: 8/20/2007 4:29:10 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Yay! December 13th sounds great. Unless it''s a friday...

lol, no kidding...

 

[ulualoha]

Hi Curiopotter,

I have been drooling at your ring pictures...gorgeous! Sorry you went through so much to get there with your ring but boy is it gorgeous! I just got married this past December. It worked out wonderfully as it almost was like a family reunion. Almost everyone we invited made it and everything went wonderfully! You can get away with a lot of things with a December wedding that you can''t any other time of year...you can involve the weather and the holiday traditions as part of your celebration. We had our reception at my FI''s house. In the backyard we set up a fire pit for people to roast marshmallows and make smores. Inside we got some great shots near the Christmas tree. A May wedding is pretty but also very common. You will be fighting for reservations during that time too as it''s the start of peak wedding season. I vote for December but of course I am a little biased!

Remember, everything always works out in the end...this will too and your wedding day will be spectacular! Please keep us posted!

Hugs,
Terri

 

[monarch64]

I vote for December...it sounds as if that''s what you''re leaning towards, and I think a December wedding would give your guests something to remember for a lifetime besides the typical May/June/September wedding!!! go with your gut instinct and do what YOU want to do, after all it is your only (god willing) wedding!

 

[Picos]

December in Houston is really nice. May in Houston is either rainy or hot. I''d say December for the weather!

That and in general it doesn''t really matter when, since some people won''t like the date and others will like it. Its really toss up; the only thing I can say to avoid with dates is someon''s birthday/ already planned wedding and those for the exact date.

 

[curiopotter]

Thanks guys.. I'm thinking if I end up blowing my budget on other things, I could always move the wedding to 12/12 which is a lot easier to remember.. it'll either be Friday or Saturday, definitely not Sunday...

ulualoha, Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my ring!

Picos, you're right.. May in Houston is a gamble. Last year was quite nice, but December is much nicer.