Destination weddings?

[ilovethiswebsite]

I am not going to lie. I am bored. So I am posting topics I find of interest...

How many of you ladies are thinking about doing a destination wedding? What are the pro''s and con''s of doing a destination wedding? Do you have any locations you would recommend? And finally - can you really save money this way or does it end up costing a ton of money anyway?

 

[cutiegirl84]

the thought has crossed my mind, but I don''t know if I''d actually do it. I love the idea of a tropical or beach wedding, but I think I would be freaking out too much about forgetting something really important, or some crazy hurricane or something that would interfere. I think i''m too much of a control freak to put it all in another person''s hands without seeing anything for myself. I would think Hawaii or the Caribbean would be really pretty. did you ever see "married away" on the style network? It''s all about destination weddings with planners, its really pretty. Do you have to fly everyone out? that''s a concern of mine that I''d have to pay for everyone to come out, and then it would be more expensive than just doing it where all my family and friends already are.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 5/13/2008 10:21:58 PM
Author: cutiegirl84
the thought has crossed my mind, but I don''t know if I''d actually do it. I love the idea of a tropical or beach wedding, but I think I would be freaking out too much about forgetting something really important, or some crazy hurricane or something that would interfere. I think i''m too much of a control freak to put it all in another person''s hands without seeing anything for myself. I would think Hawaii or the Caribbean would be really pretty. did you ever see ''married away'' on the style network? It''s all about destination weddings with planners, its really pretty. Do you have to fly everyone out? that''s a concern of mine that I''d have to pay for everyone to come out, and then it would be more expensive than just doing it where all my family and friends already are.

Hey Cutiegirl84!

Ya, I think my BF and I will just request that everyone pay for their own trip out there... We understand hardly anyone but immediately family and the bridal party would be able to show up but that''s is secretly what we want anyway...

I don''t get the style network in Canada

I ws also considering a cruise....

 

[CrookedRock]

We have decided to do a destination elopement... And we have also tossed around the idea of a destination celebration. If that makes sense... We figured people could buy their own tix but we would take came or the lodging and all the activities. We aren''t talking about many people though. Probably like 30 of our closest friends.
But I don''t think that you need to pay for peoples trips if you chose a destination wedding. I do think though that only the people who are really important in your life will make the trip depending on how far it is...

 

[cutiegirl84]

ohhh that''s true. I am a little concerned about all the schmoozing and fake smiling I might have to keep on my face all day, when at least if its just family and close friends I can be myself. Not that I don''t love being the center of attention

I loooooooovvvvvee cruises. They are sooo much fun. I went to one in the Caribbean 2 years ago and it was a blast. I think if you did a cruise, you would have to get married like the first day of the cruise because I gained at least 5 lbs by the end of that week! lol. and cruises are more fun the more people you have anyway. That is a great idea actually, as long as I remember to pack those motion sickness patches lol...

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 5/13/2008 10:30:29 PM
Author: CrookedRock
We have decided to do a destination elopement... And we have also tossed around the idea of a destination celebration. If that makes sense... We figured people could buy their own tix but we would take came or the lodging and all the activities. We aren''t talking about many people though. Probably like 30 of our closest friends.

But I don''t think that you need to pay for peoples trips if you chose a destination wedding. I do think though that only the people who are really important in your life will make the trip depending on how far it is...

Hi CrookedRock,
Do you know how the paper work works when you are getting married in another country like Mexico? Is your marriage considered valid in the US? Or do you need to sign some papers before you leave?

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 5/13/2008 10:33:03 PM
Author: cutiegirl84
I think if you did a cruise, you would have to get married like the first day of the cruise because I gained at least 5 lbs by the end of that week! lol. and cruises are more fun the more people you have anyway. That is a great idea actually, as long as I remember to pack those motion sickness patches lol...

good point.. something to consider for sure!!

 

[luckystar112]

I''m having a destination wedding!!!
We were originally going to have a traditional wedding, but changed our minds.

Costs: It can be a LOT cheaper. But it depends on what type of DW you have. If you want to recreate a traditional wedding with lots of guests somewhere (i.e. pick a venue, find local vendors, etc.) then it can be expensive. If you go to a resort on an island somewhere to get married, you will end up saving a lot of money.

When I was planning a traditional wedding it just seemed like it was going to be so much stress and SO much money. To be fair, FI''s family didn''t seem to care enough about the wedding (even though we were going to get married on their property) and my family cared TOO much. Plus, things that I normally didn''t think to include in my budget started to REALLY add up (the little things...like ribbon on favors or a cake topper...stuff like that).

Here are my pros and cons so far (haven''t had the wedding yet).

Pros:
1) Married couples told me that if they could do it over again they would have had a DW
2) Getting married at a resort and really don''t have to worry about a thing!!
3) Saving a ton of money, even with all the upgrades we''re doing.
4) Don''t have to worry about how we are going to afford a honeymoon.
5) I really don''t like being the center of attention, so I feel a bit relieved that I won''t be surrounded by people I barely know.

Cons
1) A lot of people that I wish would be there won''t be, like some friends and a couple of family members.
2) Since the planning is so laid back, its been hard for me to get REALLY excited about the wedding.
3) My mom still found a way to create drama.

4) FI''s family is going to throw us a party afterwards, but my family isn''t. I kind of wish our wedding was a bigger deal. Even though I said earlier I don''t like being the center of attention. lol.
5) Don''t really know what you''re getting until you get there! Unless you find someone else with a really good review somewhere.

All in all, I''m glad we''re having a DW. But like I said, I do wish some people could make it.

Oh, and as for the hurricanes...you can choose an island where that isn''t a concern. We''re getting married in Jamaica and from what I understand hurricanes don''t typically hit there.

And different countries require different things. Jamaica requires our birth certificate, and I believe that''s it. A place like Mexico will require a blood test. It''s really important to know what location requires what. I think destinationweddings.com is a good source.

 

[that_someone_special]

I had wanted a Vegas wedding.. however the BF family would never go for it

 

[Deelight]

We might decide to do a planned bring the family and friends if they want to come destination elopement to Serbia where my extended family lives and get married in some beautiful old orthodox cathedral, or we might stay here in oz and get married.

If we decide to get married here I think I have found the

perfect venue no idea on the cost but it looks AMAZING only problem is the distance from the church I would want to get married in (it is like an hour easily away). Oh well we will cross that bridge when we get there.

 

[CrookedRock]

Date: 5/13/2008 10:34:04 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite

Date: 5/13/2008 10:30:29 PM
Author: CrookedRock
We have decided to do a destination elopement... And we have also tossed around the idea of a destination celebration. If that makes sense... We figured people could buy their own tix but we would take came or the lodging and all the activities. We aren't talking about many people though. Probably like 30 of our closest friends.

But I don't think that you need to pay for peoples trips if you chose a destination wedding. I do think though that only the people who are really important in your life will make the trip depending on how far it is...

Hi CrookedRock,
Do you know how the paper work works when you are getting married in another country like Mexico? Is your marriage considered valid in the US? Or do you need to sign some papers before you leave?

Good Question! I know that if you chose to get married in certain countries the marriage will not be considered legal when you get back, like Italy. We are talking about Argentina, and to be honest I have not really looked into that Counrty yet. It doesn't really matter to me, we figure we would just have the justice of peace make it official when we get back or something along those lines. But I am off to check about Argentina...

ETA~ Looks like Argentina is not a place where you can get legally married unless one person is a citizen. Bummer... Oh well!
But Mexico looks likes it's a go!

 

[KCCutie]

My SO and I are doing a DW for sure.

I''ve done plenty of research and we just know this is totally us. We don''t want to pay out the nose so everyone we know can have a nice dinner when we need to be focusing on buying a house and saving to start a family. Besides we are a little older and we''ve seen tons of local wedding and we want something different and fun....like us.

We know only our very closest family and friends will be able to come and we actually love that idea (we are both performers and love to be the center of attention but having it small will be more special). We will probably have about 30 total guests and they will pay for their own travel and lodging, it''ll be like a a nice family vacation and oh hey E and K just happen to be getting married Saturday. Doing it this way we should save about 15K as a local wedding would be 20K+(I''m thinking around 5-7K total for the wedding).

We''d love to get married on the Cayman Islands but travel there isn''t cheap or easy so we may go with Jamaica, the Bahamas or the Dominican Republic. I have the perfect DW planner to call once I have the ring too (check out TripsDowntheAisle.com) the owner is active on several forums and very helpful. I know that she will be able to tell me everything I need to know about the local laws and make sure everything goes smoothly which is exactly what I want.

 

[Bia]

I was all for the destination wedding. Most important reason is I HATE DRAMA! And with my side of the family, with exception to immediate family (parents and sibling), there is all sorts of drama from the past, present, and I am certain there will be some in our future. My little brother is getting married in September and we are already hearing ridiculous requests from family (all out of state--Miami). Some are mad at others, don't want to be near eachother during the ceremony or reception, don't want this, don't want that--it's such a downer and I feel so bad (and embarrassed) for baby bro and his fiance to have to even entertain the lunacy.

So, when I get married, I am SURE I will get my share of drama...hence, I love the idea of a DW because many of those annoying relatives won't show! However, I know I won't have one because BF's family is all in NY and they are great and happy...just like a family should be. It wouldn't be fair to him and his fam to do a destination wedding when so many people (very large family) want to be at our wedding...so they have told me.

If I could do one, I would have it in maybe Puerto Rico. My friend had a beautiful, classy, and most importantly, STRESS-FREE wedding there, for half of what it would have cost here in NY. I love the idea, but...what can you do?

IF you can, and want to...definitely do it!!!

 

[absolut_blonde]

I would personally only go the DW route if I had enough money to pay for the guests' trips. Otherwise, I just tend to feel that it is asking too much of everyone to spend that much money, not to mention take the time off work. A lot of people can only afford to take one big vacation a year, if that, and I'd feel kind of bad asking my wedding to be that vacation.

To each their own, though. I don't get offended by the idea of DW or anything like that. If a loved one went that route, I would definitely make the effort to attend if time and finances allowed. I just personally don't feel comfortable asking that of other people (and yes, I know they don't have to go but still). I also wouldn't want to risk someone I'm close to missing out because they couldn't afford it or get the time off.

Perhaps it'd be different if we were a bit older and my friends were more financially stable, though. A lot of us are still struggling just to get on our feet (partly due to the high cost of living here).


I also wonder how it works out with regard to being alone with the groom after. I'd want to be on our honeymoon away after the wedding -- not still be with a bunch of people (even if they were friends/family that I loved). Maybe I'm just antisocial. LOL.

 

[Codependent Gal]

I think that it is really easy to get married in the US Virgin Islands. St. John is one of my favorite places on Earth, and I think that a wedding there would be absolutely perfect. Also, summer is "off-season" down there, so hotels are like half price and flights are a lot cheaper as well (they used to be at least, now I''m not so sure). I would definitely look into the USVI if I were planning a destination wedding!

 

[cutiegirl84]

absolut_blonde-

I totally wondered about the getting away for the honeymoon part too. as much as I love my family and friends, I''d want some alone time with my new husband! I guess I''m antisocial too lol.

 

[gwendolyn]

Since J and I are from different countries, it''s possibly we''ll be having what half our guests will consider a destination wedding--does that count?

No, seriously, my dream wedding is to rent a chalet in Italy and have our favourite people join us for a beautiful experience together somewhere gorgeous (Capri!!!!). But, money-wise, probably not happening. So we''ll probably be having a small ceremony and a BBQ or something instead.

 

[KCCutie]

Date: 5/14/2008 4:37:50 PM
Author: cutiegirl84
absolut_blonde-

I totally wondered about the getting away for the honeymoon part too. as much as I love my family and friends, I''d want some alone time with my new husband! I guess I''m antisocial too lol.

I think what most people do is spend a few days to a week at the destination with their family then leave from there to have their honeymoon.

Personally we are thinking we will spend 3-5 days at our location(depends on how much time off we can get) and then after the ceremony leave for the Cayman Islands or some other island local and spend a week there alone as husband and wife.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

My parents have a condo in Mexico and we are thinking about throwing the wedding there cause we will always be able to go back and have some kind of connection to the place....

As for the honeymoon we were thinking of taking a cruise in Hawaii post wedding....

We aren''t even engaged yet so once we are (hopefully very soon) I am going to call different hotels and see what their prices are. From the little I have researched to date some hotels have packages like 1500$ for a ceremony, bouquet, and TAPED (hahahah) music... I will likely want to upgrade that to include a little more. I wonder if everyone pays for an all inclusive trip if you get some kind of discount on a reception that includes dinner... I am also worried about getting a wedding planner in Mexico... especially one I won''t meet until I am there!!!

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 5/14/2008 5:01:43 PM
Author: gwendolyn
Since J and I are from different countries, it''s possibly we''ll be having what half our guests will consider a destination wedding--does that count?

No, seriously, my dream wedding is to rent a chalet in Italy and have our favourite people join us for a beautiful experience together somewhere gorgeous (Capri!!!!). But, money-wise, probably not happening. So we''ll probably be having a small ceremony and a BBQ or something instead.

Wow that sounds super romantic! I loveeeee Italy!!! Lake Como would be insanely nice too.

 

[Pushin40]

Date: 5/14/2008 7:33:59 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite
My parents have a condo in Mexico and we are thinking about throwing the wedding there cause we will always be able to go back and have some kind of connection to the place....

As for the honeymoon we were thinking of taking a cruise in Hawaii post wedding....

We aren''t even engaged yet so once we are (hopefully very soon) I am going to call different hotels and see what their prices are. From the little I have researched to date some hotels have packages like 1500$ for a ceremony, bouquet, and TAPED (hahahah) music... I will likely want to upgrade that to include a little more. I wonder if everyone pays for an all inclusive trip if you get some kind of discount on a reception that includes dinner... I am also worried about getting a wedding planner in Mexico... especially one I won''t meet until I am there!!!

This sounds GREAT! When B and I were in Mexico last fall, Cancun, we watched a beautiful wedding held on the Marriot''s hotel property, right from our balcony. We were napping and all of a sudden I hear AVE MARIA plaing REALLY LOUDLY coming from outside! Yup it was a wedding! It was sunset and SOOOO beautiful and romantic, it made me cry. They continued with an outdoor reception then, the best part, they shot off fireworks over the beach!

WOW! I thought - hey, I''d like that!

I also wanted to mention theres a lot of talk of Island weddings in this string. An Island wedding is something I''ve considered for a long time, and just about any hotel website has a wedding requirements section. They make it realy easy for you and there is someone to guide you every step of the way. My cousin got married in Jamaica at one of the Sandals resorts, and it was effortless and so romantic. She brought her toasting glasses and the "something BLUE". and made a CD of the music she wanted during the ceremony. It was easy and I highly recommend it. There''s tons of info out there. Just remember the hurrican season also means it''s the RAINY season in the Carribean so you really want to avoid going there between June and Nov 1st. Trust me - I''ve been travelling to the Carribbean about 2-3 times a year, since forever, and it really sucks when its pouring.

We will definitly have a destination wedding and invite some couples and a few family members. My new thing is that I want to get marreid at the Venetian in Vegas (my fav hotel there) on 10/10/10. We love Vegas and I love the opulence of the hotels. THEN I''d zip out of there for a honyemoon in Hawaii or the south pacific.

AHHH.

I just need to get engaged and then I can start my planning! WOO HOO!

 

[KCCutie]

Date: 5/16/2008 1:52:57 PM
Author: Pushin40

Date: 5/14/2008 7:33:59 PM

I just need to get engaged and then I can start my planning! WOO HOO!

LOL I think we''re all in the same boat there Pushin40!

Too funny!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/15/2008 10:28:23 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite

Date: 5/14/2008 5:01:43 PM

Author: gwendolyn

Since J and I are from different countries, it''s possibly we''ll be having what half our guests will consider a destination wedding--does that count?

No, seriously, my dream wedding is to rent a chalet in Italy and have our favourite people join us for a beautiful experience together somewhere gorgeous (Capri!!!!). But, money-wise, probably not happening. So we''ll probably be having a small ceremony and a BBQ or something instead.

Wow that sounds super romantic! I loveeeee Italy!!! Lake Como would be insanely nice too.

Yeah, I''m a total romantic sop.

I''m also a travel whore, so any chance I get to go someplace new, I''m alllll about it.

Seriously, why can''t that be J and me in that photo?!

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 5/16/2008 2:05:28 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/15/2008 10:28:23 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite

Date: 5/14/2008 5:01:43 PM

Author: gwendolyn

Since J and I are from different countries, it''s possibly we''ll be having what half our guests will consider a destination wedding--does that count?

No, seriously, my dream wedding is to rent a chalet in Italy and have our favourite people join us for a beautiful experience together somewhere gorgeous (Capri!!!!). But, money-wise, probably not happening. So we''ll probably be having a small ceremony and a BBQ or something instead.

Wow that sounds super romantic! I loveeeee Italy!!! Lake Como would be insanely nice too.

Yeah, I''m a total romantic sop.

I''m also a travel whore, so any chance I get to go someplace new, I''m alllll about it.

Seriously, why can''t that be J and me in that photo?!

Ya I''m a total travel whore too - hence why a destination wedding suits me just fine!

 

[absolut_blonde]

After SO''s cousin''s wedding this weekend... I think I MAY have a slightly different perspective on this issue.

Several people in SO''s family who were recently married ALL repeatedly said how they wish they''d gone the destination wedding route. SO''s sister-in-law seemed particularly adamant about this -- she wants to renew their vows somewhere tropical even though they married only in October because she was disappointed with the day in general and didn''t really enjoy it. (To be fair, some of this would be because SO''s now-deceased father was very sick and could not make the wedding which was definitely saddening for their family). The only recently married couple that didn''t have any regrets about their wedding was the one who DID go the DW route. Traditional weddings were 0 for 3.

Perhaps SO''s family has just had bad luck with regard to how the weddings played out, but it was a strong recurring theme. I heard a lot of comments about how it was stressful, not much fun, the couple hardly saw each other throughout the entire event (I realize you have to visit with your guests but I find this one perturbing because I would want some time with SO). Maybe some of them had unrealistic expectations but even the guys tended to agree.

Just thought it was interesting. It definitely made me think that if we were to do something closer to home, I''d want to keep it at 100 people tops.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

I love small, intimate weddings. My parents didn''t have any moolah when they got married, and my dad was an immigrant so no one from his family was able to come to their wedding... So anyway they had a tiny 30 person wedding ceremony and reception at a little italian restaurant in town - and they loved every second of it. I think big weddings have their perks, but I know I personally rather a smaller wedding, and have only my closest family and friends there. I think a destination wedding is a great way to have a smaller wedding, save money, and keep it low key and relatively stress free. I really want the day to be about me and my bf (fiance by then), and I love the idea of spending an entire vacation away with everyone you love.

 

[Tessie]

The idea of a big wedding doesn''t appeal to me. The months of planning, ridiculous cost, and having tons of guests for fear of insulting people by not inviting so and so''s aunt, make me shudder. My dream would be to take a "vacation" to Crete with my SO to elope, and get married on a beautiful location with some history, looking out at the water, with just the two of us. It would be perfect because me and my SO are pretty private to begin with.

We could always throw a small party with immediate family and good friends afterwards and surprise them with the news and share photos.

 

[Independent Gal]

Date: 5/14/2008 8:27:54 AM

I know that if you chose to get married in certain countries the marriage will not be considered legal when you get back, like Italy.

That''s not quite true. If the marriage is done legally in Italy, it is legal in the US. It''s not as though Italian immigrants or Italians on holiday in the US are suddenly not married anymore. The problem only arises if you get married in Italy (or anywhere for that matter) without filing the necessary paperwork, which can be expensive and time consuming. Church weddings, for instance, are not valid without a prior city hall ceremony in Germany, Italy, and elsewhere.