Did any bride feel shy to walk down the aisle?

[ello]

Hi guys

It’s been a while ladies....I’m so glad to see all the familiar faces/names on the forum and wow look at all the new bling! COOL!

Here’s a silly question: Did any bride feel shy to walk down the aisle? I’m 30 years old and by now I should be over this kind of thing...And I realize that it’s extremely silly but I feel nervous thinking that everyone will be staring at me walking towards my hubby! I know it’s stupid and I’m not nervous to get married, I’m very ready and happy...It’s just the “look at me, I’m the bride - thing” that’s freaking me out. I’m not a public speaker and generally shy unless I’m with a small crowd....I guess in some way it’s a fear of public speaking only a fear of public walking! (LOL!)
I even begged my fiance to trade places! (LOL!)

ANY ADVICE?

 

[Efe]

I know exacty how you feel. I hate to be the center of attention. I was worried about the same thing and then I saw my husband''s face and he looked so happy and I just focused on him the whole way down the aisle. That is still one of my favorite memories of our wedding day.

 

[poptart]

Yes, I was. I was terrified I was going to trip on my dress and fall face first onto the ground. I am VERY good in heels, but with all that fabric I was dreading a misstep. Walk slow and take DEEP breaths. It didn''t help that I had to walk on a cobblestone like path. It ended up fine... except my mom walked me down the aisle and once she turned around to walk back to her seat she tripped over my train

. We have this great picture of me making a face and looking over my shoulder going, "ooooh," and DH is looking at her sidewise, eyes all big staring at her and he''s trying SO hard not to grin. And a part of my mom''s face and arm is in the corner of the picture. She didn''t fall though. Just stumbled. She''s funny, haha.

I hate to tell you that they will most definitely be staring at you walking down the aisle. But they will be thinking, "How gorgeous!" rather than placing their bets on whether or not you are going to trip. Just take some deep breaths before you have to take that walk and don''t take your eyes off your FI. You will be so elated you probably won''t even notice your nervousness. What type of terrain and shoes will you be walking in? It helps if you walk around in your wedding shoes on similar ground to get a feeling for it and break the shoes in. That helped me quite a bit as well. You will be fine, and SO PRETTY!

*M*

 

[surfgirl]

Yes! That''s why we''re eloping in part. I can think of nothing more mortifying that walking down the aisle with so many people looking, and saying the most personal things to my FI in front of them. I can totally relate. You''re not alone!

 

[Pandora II]

Lol, I keep thinking how I''ll feel so stupid in a big dress and arms full of flowers and that it''s all a bit ridiculous and maybe I should just look normal.

Then I think of all the weddings I''ve been to and I never once looked at the bride and thought she looked OTT or silly - but that I was always really keen to see the dress. So I''m obviously just feeling like that about myself.

Weird because I''m normally fairly extrovert and exhibitionist!

 

[neatfreak]

Yes!!! I totally relate. That''s why we are deciding to do a very informal ceremony with only 35 people there. And we **might** even eschew the walking down the aisle part altogether.

Nothing wrong with you for thinking that, but you need to decide if the walking down the aisle is just nervewracking, or if it''s just not YOU. If it just isn''t you, I say don''t do it at all!!!

 

[diamondfan]

I do not, to this day, like being the center of attention. I hated feeling that all eyes were on me, I was scared I would trip or do something silly. I never liked being in front of a crowd, hated debating or any type of public speaking. Nowadays, if my dh and I are at an event and our name is mentioned I get embarrassed to be singled out. I always feel nervous, and I really cannot say why. I am not shy, but I am not an attention seeker either. But just focus on him as you walk and do not think too much about what is around you. That helped me, a bit.

 

[ello]

Thank you for the encouraging nudges! Wish I could gather you all to walk with me (LOL!) My dress is poofy and full and the shoes will be HIGH HILLS (LORDY!) Being only 5.2ft I will need to add the extra height since my Hubs is 6ft2...and I never wear high hill shoes so all of this is not helping my anxiety problems - ha ha ha! I am my worst enemy!

 

[Skippy123]

Ries,
I didn't realize I would feel the way you think you might feel until the day it happened. I am such a people person but when I had to walk down the aisle I wanted to already be up front with my hubby. I smiled but was thinking "this is so annoying these people are looking at me."

Now I laugh at myself but I was so nervous! Just remember they all love you and can't wait to get a peek at the gorgeous bride. Just try and talk to your dad and smile. Also, I hear imagining situations makes it better the day of. Best wishes and very exciting about getting married soon!

 

[Kaleigh]

My dad broke his leg badly weeks before my wedding. He even had surgery to have pins put in his leg. He insisted on walking me down the aisle. He had arm crutches. I was more concerned getting him down the aisle, more than me. So in a way, it was a nice diversion.

 

[ello]

Thanks Skippy! I have a few months to TOUGHEN UP! Our wedding is in October. It''s so wierd because I''m really easy-going and I''m not really stressed about the event or plans or anything going wrong other than the public thank you''s (speeches) and walking down the aisle.

I will most likely blush!

 

[ello]

Kaleigh - your poor dad. talk about determination! Your dad was a real trooper! I guess the saying "Break a Leg" comes to mind - ha ha ha!

 

[surfgirl]

well, you could always listen to your iPod while you walk down the aisle...Uh,yeah, I''m kidding!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 4/22/2007 8:46:42 PM
Author: BizouMom
I know exacty how you feel. I hate to be the center of attention. I was worried about the same thing and then I saw my husband's face and he looked so happy and I just focused on him the whole way down the aisle. That is still one of my favorite memories of our wedding day.

Ries, it also helped to see my hubbys face. When I saw him I thought "my sweetie is so good looking and he looks great in a tux!" I am sure you will feel the same

Gosh, Lisa, that is love; what a sweet father.

 

[onedrop]

Ries: Since I just did this a week ago today, I thought I''d chime in. Walking down the aisle, I did exactly what Bizoumom did. At first I was looking around at other people, but then I quickly realized that I wanted to see hubby''s reaction. So I looked up at him, and we locked eyes and I felt so much more at ease. I too am not the one to seek attention, but I actually enjoyed all the "queen for a day" type of stuff that was going on. In fact, I kinda miss it now...

 

[jcrow]

i''m very very shy and uncomfortable with attention. i had the same worries for the aisle walk. but you know what? it all disappeared. melted away. i forgot how nervous i was and how many people were going to be outside those doors once they opened up. i don''t know where it all went, but it went away. and i was just happy.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/22/2007 9:17:17 PM
Author: Ries
Thank you for the encouraging nudges! Wish I could gather you all to walk with me (LOL!) My dress is poofy and full and the shoes will be HIGH HILLS (LORDY!) Being only 5.2ft I will need to add the extra height since my Hubs is 6ft2...and I never wear high hill shoes so all of this is not helping my anxiety problems - ha ha ha! I am my worst enemy!

Is it too late to rethink this? I know you''re trying to close the visual height gap, but there''s no way I''d spend my wedding in shoes I wasn''t used to!!! I hated this aspect as well so I just kinda closed the ranks and made eye contact with people around me so that I didn''t feel so apart. I knew everyone there so it was comforting to see their smiles.

 

[ammayernyc]

I think my FI and I are going to walk down together. Sort of walking to our married future together.

 

[musey]

Date: 4/23/2007 11:31:35 AM
Author: AmandaPanda
I think my FI and I are going to walk down together. Sort of walking to our married future together.

ooh, I like this idea!

 

[janinegirly]

i second the suggestion that you re-think those shoes! you will regret it on the day..walking around on stilts and feet hurting! everyone knows your hubby is taller, so it won''t fool anyone and the photos will look just fine!

as for being shy, i''m terribly shy..and my walk will take ages (cathedral). but thinking adrenaline and a few sips of champagne just before should help! let''s hope at least...

 

[Independent Gal]

I hear ya! I''d be totally embarassed to have everyone watching me and going ''awww...aren''t they sweet?'' MORTIFIED!

And I actually speak publicly as part of my JOB! That doesn''t bother me because i''m speaking about public matters, and I''m sort of in my work persona.

Even though a marriage is actually public thing because it''s a legal contract (making it ''official'' literally means making it an object for the state) it feels private and I feel totally mortified at the thought of having a wedding, never mind walking down the aisle.

I was thinking I''d want a really, really small one, but then a pal who thinks the same (and is getting married in June) recently pointed out to me that it''s easier to hide in a crowd. And she''s so weirded out by the ''walking down the aisle'' thing that she''s just not going to do it! You don''t have to!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 4/22/2007 8:38:19 PM
Author:Ries
Hi guys

It’s been a while ladies....I’m so glad to see all the familiar faces/names on the forum and wow look at all the new bling! COOL!

Here’s a silly question: Did any bride feel shy to walk down the aisle? I’m 30 years old and by now I should be over this kind of thing...And I realize that it’s extremely silly but I feel nervous thinking that everyone will be staring at me walking towards my hubby! I know it’s stupid and I’m not nervous to get married, I’m very ready and happy...It’s just the “look at me, I’m the bride - thing” that’s freaking me out. I’m not a public speaker and generally shy unless I’m with a small crowd....I guess in some way it’s a fear of public speaking only a fear of public walking! (LOL!)
I even begged my fiance to trade places! (LOL!)

ANY ADVICE?

Hi Ries! I haven''t read the rest of the posts yet but the title of your post caught my eye. I feel the EXACT same way! I''m 33 and I''m scared to death of having our guests stare at me walking down the aisle. I''ve never liked attention being placed on me, and I think I know how you must be feeling.

I''m always way too self-conscious about things, so although our wedding day will be fun and exciting, I''m SOOOO nervous at the attention.

Zoe

 

[jfo]

Ries,
I came out of lurkdom to respond to this because I completely understand. I too am one of those people that doesn''t like to call any attention upon myself if I can help it, and the same goes for my husband. I was 27 when I got married, and my husband was 30. We had 40 guests (all close friends and family) at our destination wedding, and I was still freaked out about the prospect about having everyone''s eyes on me.

That said, right before the ceremony, I realized that not only did I have to walk down an aisle, but I had to walk down a flight of stairs (viewable from where the guests were seated) from the room I was waiting in to get to the aisle. I was thinking great, I''m going to trip and fall down the stairs! So I did initially become really nervous when I was waiting upstairs, but as soon as my dad took my arm, and we started to walk, a feeling of totally happiness that I was finally get married came over me. It was really euphoric, to tell you the truth. The result was that I started beaming--I think having my dad at my side squeezing my arm gave me an extra boost of confidence, and like some other ladies already mentioned, when I saw my husband at the end of the aisle, it was all it took for me to concentrate on the fact that this was truly happening and all the people who cared about us were there to share it with us. I was so happy, I couldn''t stop smiling. In the end I found that I smiled at everyone as I walked down the aisle--I didn''t realize it while it was happening, but the pictures from the photographer was my proof! And once I was down the aisle, speaking my vows ended up being like nothing. That said, I''m glad I didn''t have to memorize them!

So I guess my piece of advice is... you''re going to be feeling all kinds of emotions that day. You never know how you''re going to feel until it actually happens (i.e., some people cry, some people think they''re going to cry, but end up not, etc.), but if you keep in mind the fact that you are marrying your special someone, and that is all that matters, you will be absolutely fine.

 

[KristyDarling]

I hate, hate, HATE being in the spotlight, and I knew I'd have trouble on my wedding day. Sure enough, my pasted-on smile shook like Jello all the way down the aisle!!! I was so happy to be marrying my honey, but at the same time, feeling really weirded out by everyone staring at me. Quite a combination of emotions: nervousness and happiness all rolled into one. And it wasn't a distinctly BAD feeling....just, well, weird! Like everyone else said, try not to think too much about how nervous you'll feel being the center of attention....just BE in the moment, and savor every second! Because whether you're nervous or not, you'll KNOW that it's a very special time.

 

[ello]

Thanks to everyone - I actaully feel a little better today (or is that ME lying to my self LOL!)

So this is my plan....

Lower shoes (OR PRACTICE LIKE HELL being a lady)
Focus on Hubby
Smile (remember to brush teeth and not to eat poppy seeds - hahahha!)
Think of something funny
Walk slow
Pray!

I''ll keep on reminding myself until Oct. well maybe I''ll drop in a couple days before for some more pep talk - it might help! Funny how talking to girls can make things seem better.


Good luck to all the brides and thank you to the brides that are so sweet to share their moments!

 

[fabcrab]

Yes! You are not alone.

Actually, I walked down the aisle solo because I don''t have a relationship with my dad so that added extra anxiety come my wedding day. Plus, I had this huge fear of tripping down the aisle and have everyone stare and laugh at me so I wore ballet flats.

As for advice, I''m going to echo a lot of the things that''s been mentioned, just try to walk slow. I was lucky because my DH met me half way the aisle and we walked together. But you know, it really isn''t as bad as you''re imagining it to be. You''ll be fine