Dilemma...

[fuzzers]

Random question (but one I worry about because I like to worry about things years in advance...): What do you do if you don''t want to invite certain people to your wedding but they are people you kinda have to invite? Like CLOSE relatives and "friends" (or people who think they''re your friends). I don''t know what I would do... I think I want to elope!

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 10/1/2008 9:53:41 PM
Author:fuzzers
Random question (but one I worry about because I like to worry about things years in advance...): What do you do if you don't want to invite certain people to your wedding but they are people you kinda have to invite? Like CLOSE relatives and 'friends' (or people who think they're your friends). I don't know what I would do... I think I want to elope!

You don't owe anyone an invite, really. (Ok, one could make the argument for non-estranged parents and sibs... you should probably invite them unless you're eloping). Relatives can be tricky though. You have your immediate family to contend with and your mom might expect you to invite her sister, etc. Also, it can be difficult to decide on a cutoff when it comes to inviting cousins, etc.

But personally, I'm not too concerned about people who 'think' they are my friends. My true friends will be welcome at our wedding, anyone else can get over it. Maybe that's harsh, but I've never been one who was really into maintaining a lot of acquaintances and superficial friendships.

It's simply not feasible (nor desirable, in my opinion!) for most people to invite everyone they know - it's just that people vary in where they choose to draw the line. If it's someone's preference and/or budget to only have 50 people at their wedding, who are others to begrudge them for that?

That said, elopement sounds highly appealing to me. Just don't do it for the wrong reasons. Don't let other people dictate what kind of wedding you have.

 

[fuzzers]

Thanks for the reply, absolut, but I''m talking even CLOSER family... I don''t want to name names because I''m worried about privacy...

Yes, eloping is looking better everyday! These people would insist on being best man and the other, one of my bridesmaids, but I don''t want the drama that comes with them. At all.

On a side note, does anyone know how to delete old posts??

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 10/1/2008 10:39:25 PM
Author: fuzzers
Thanks for the reply, absolut, but I''m talking even CLOSER family... I don''t want to name names because I''m worried about privacy...

Yes, eloping is looking better everyday! These people would insist on being best man and the other, one of my bridesmaids, but I don''t want the drama that comes with them. At all.

On a side note, does anyone know how to delete old posts??

Use the msg admin button.....

 

[trillionaire]

My suggestion about eloping, if you want to do it, do it. Talk to your SO, and if they agree, then do it. Do not tell your family or friends before you do it, or at least not until you are on the way there. Otherwise you are going to go through endless guilt trips, drama and headache. I thought if I told my family years in advance, they would have time to get used to the idea of me eloping. It has been more like years of them trying to wear me down, call me selfish, getting mad, nearly crying, etc.

I would suggest calling people after you do it.

I still want to elope, I just know in advance how pissy people are going to be about it. I would rather have had them complain afterwards.

Just my .02

 

[FrekeChild]

La la la la la la la....

We're having less than 20 people at our wedding in Vegas. Those guests include my parents, his sister, her family, and our closest friends (probably end up being more like 15 or so). That does not include either of my brothers, any of their family members, my aunts and uncles (mom is the youngest of TEN) or cousins.

This was shortened from a wedding of 50 here in NM. Because I didn't want to have to deal with all of said people that aren't invited above.

So I'd elope unless you can avoid telling them you're getting married...

La la la la la la la....my brothers can SHOVE IT....la la la la...

 

[MishB]

I just wrote a reply about a similar situation I was in, but I have deleted it, you never, ever know who might happen to read it! I think your paranoia has rubbed off on me fuzzers.

All I can say is, do what you have to do, if you just can't avoid inviting people you would rather not have there if you could help it. Focus on other things on the day, and you probably won't even notice they are there. If they are so close you are worried about them infiltrating the bridal party, then be totally modern and go without attendants, just ask one each of your parents to be your witnesses.

 

[dragonfly411]

I have a funny story related to this. There has been some.... lets call it DRAMA in our family lately related to a couple of sisters (my aunt''s cousins). My aunt was recently married. At her wedding shower (in June or July my memory is fuzzy) This drama ended up making the night end badly. This was supposed to be about my aunt and her FI, not everyone else, and we were PISSED that it ended up being about other people and their petty drama. So my mom and grandmother PROMPTLY called the two sisters and told them, either they could come to the wedding and not have ANY drama, or they would not be invited. If they did come, and drama started, they would be escorted from the wedding. My aunt had waited longer than ANY of my family members to find mister right, and they were NOT going to ruin this. They came, we all had a great time and there was no drama (save MY cousin''s drunken boyfriend trying to jump off the balcony at the pool

). Maybe just explain to those people what the circumstances are, and if their behavior becomes intollerable then they will be removed? Not sure if this would really qualify here.
This is YOUR wedding though and you don''t have to invite anyone unless you want to IMVHO

 

[vita*dolce]

if that''s what you want, then elope! your wedding should be perfect for you, and if that doesn''t include some of your family then don''t invite them! good luck, though, this might be a really tough decision to make/deal with afterwards!!

 

[diamondfan]

You sometimes have to do it. If you really hate them, or do not care what the fall out is, then don''t...but otherwise, you sometimes have to do the proper thing. And hope like crazy that they do not come!!!!