Dingaling newbie

[jas]

Hi there -- brief intro -- been dating C for over a year...marriage has been discussed outright and circuitously...lots of "bombs" dropped on his part...those hints that make your heart soar, you know?

My lease is up in August and I''ve told him that I will not move in with him until we''re at least engaged. He keeps mentioning my moving in, saying "everything will work out" when I say I need to find a place. It''s an odd thing for him to say considering he''s in real estate and anytime anyone mentions moving he goes into business mode, giving advice and whatnot.

Long story short, lots of comments on his part about us, about "our" home, about the future. Good news that has been very calming and kept me from pushing the point because I just want to enjoy the moment and the growth we continue to experience.

So skip ahead to where I was a dingbat...I was going in for surgery yesterday. This has been weighing on me and I guess it came to a head on Saturday...I was scared and looking for some good news, you know. So (this is so embarrassing) -- I snooped to see if he was really thinking of proposing soon. He wasn''t home...I stopped myself after literally only 2 minutes because I realized what a horrible invasion of privacy this was, and how not like me it was. I started to cry and promised myself that I would never do such a thing again.

Of course, not being good at this sort of thing, he realized I''d riffled through his stuff. It was painful, and he was so wonderful about it, saying that he''d known me a long time and a 2 minute stupid mood does not negate a year and a half relationship of trust...he chalked it up to my being scared about the surgery. I of course apologized profusely and told him I would earn his trust back, and the darling said I hadn''t lost his trust...he just knew I was having an awful moment. Have I mentioned how wonderful he is?

But he did say...and this is the part that breaks my heart -- that he wants "this" to be a surprise and wonderful and special. I feel like such a heel. It''s hard to forgive myself right now. When talking through this with him he also kept smiling and saying it''s not a big deal, that I haven''t thrown things backwards.

I really am not coming here to do anything but get this off my chest...and hopefully I can join so many of you in your joyous times/

 

[anchor31]

Hey there, and welcome on PS!

I hope your stay on the list will be short! And don''t feel bad about snooping, I''m pretty sure most of us have done it... I have!

 

[decodelighted]

a. you''re only human! cut yourself some slack & ix-nay with the "dingaling" label!
b. HE sounds like a keeper!

p.s. -- welcome

 

[FireGoddess]

First, welcome to PS.

I hope your surgery went well yesterday.

He definitely does sound like a keeper!!! Yes, you had a moment of weakness but you are not a dingaling and we''ve all at least thought about it, if not done it as well - you''re human and it happens all the time.

I hope things work out with an engagement, moving in together, and all that stuff, and again, I hope you''re feeling better today...

 

[jas]

Thank you all -- I''m beginning to laugh about it. And I appreciate that I''m not alone in all this! He is a keeper, that''s for sure.

I think I''m getting impatient because I know in my heart it''s coming soon...at the same time I''m just enjoying the romance!

The best thing he said after all the hooplah was when I was making dinner (it was my turn) at his place and he just turned and smiled and said, "Having you here is right."

Later that evening we were talking about careers and life choices and "visualization" of things we want. He said, "I visualize a comfortable living, fixing my kitchen up [he wants to remodel it] and having you there and you never leaving." (Just for clarification, he didn''t mean that in the chain-you-to-the-house way, but in the we-live-in-separate-places way.)

Sometimes I start to understand the word "swoon"

 

[jas]

Yes, thank you I''m fine. Not a fun procedure, but what doesn''t kill us, and all that/

 

[ilovesparkles]

You are no dingaling! Just had a slight uncontrollable emotional episode, please what woman doesn''t have those every once in a while! If you want to read a hilarious story similar that happened to our very own Blenheim, who got engaged this past week!, go to this thread.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-think-i-found-it.41667/

It was soooooo funny! And welcome to PS! You should post a picture of you two on the picture thread

 

[sk8rjen]

Welcome!! you found a group of people like you!

Back in February I tore up my bf''s closet and a few other places he could be hiding sometihing when I thought I ruined a Valentine''s Day proposal (I didn''t ---- but did mess one up the beginning of last month!) We''re all a bit, um, obsessed, here! Your guy sounds awesome, btw

jen

 

[jas]

Thanks ilovesparkles -- adorable puppy!

I''m a little afraid to post a picture unless (until) I''m engaged...when on earth did I get so superstitious?

So my next question to you all -- how long was it for you (or your friends) from when you suspected/felt a proposal was on the way to when it happened?

 

[jas]

Aw, what the heck -- I loved looking at the pictures after lurking around this site for awhile...it''s fun to match faces with postings...

 

[ilovesparkles]

Thanks, my baby is unfortunately up in heaven now. He was about 14 in that pic and got put down last Nov. But I was jealous of everyone else having their dogs in their avatar so I went ahead and put mine in.

 

[jas]

Oh ilovesparkles, I''m sorry. Our puppies are just unconditional love forever, aren''t they?

On another note....I''m a little down today...had minor surgery yesterday...BF came over last night to take care of me.

Today, oddly, didn''t hear a thing, not even a response to our usual "good morning" emails. I''m sure he was just caught up with work issues, but I''m feeling poopy and this is so not like him. I''d like to think he''s at Defcom 5 trying to figure out how to pop the question, but that may be because I''ve spent most of this day at home poking around the site and "getting to know" everyone. I''m sure you all understand.

Odd day -- his parents and his sister sent me flowers. They are so lovely (his family, I mean. Well, the flowers are too!)

I''m just having a week...feeling he is very close. It''s making me nuts with anticipation.

So glad I found this site

 

[Blenheim]

Welcome!

I see that y''all are having a laugh at my expense.

He sounds like a keeper, and I''m also getting vibes that he''s thinking of proposing before August. That''s so exciting!

I hope that you feel a lot better soon! I''m also recovering from surgery (but not quite so recent), and had lots of fun right after looking at beautiful rings all drugged up.

It can help distract you from the pain.

 

[jas]

LOL drugged up wedding dreaming is too funny. I''m chalking it up to pain meds that I was browsing dresses that would make me look like a float in the Macy''s Day Parade. "Oooooh! Fluffy!"

He is a keeper...he just called (initial thought was correct -- he was working from 9- and played me love songs over the phone. He seemed surprised and touched his family sent me flowers. He kept saying how lucky he is, how wonderful I am. Gosh -- it''s a good thing for PS b/c I am sure I am sending my friends into sugar shock by sharing this sort of thing with them.

It''s so nice to have a place where we all can gush and rant -- all in the same day!

Jas

 

[Blenheim]

''Cause fluffy is exactly what we''re all looking for in wedding dresses.

You know what that kind of reminds me of? The Sex and the City when Miranda drags Carrie to go wedding dress shopping. Do you watch that show?

And your BF sounds soo sweet.

 

[jas]

Great episode! Yes I watch it.

Yes, he is sweet...I will always remember when I first met two of his good friends how they kept telling me that he is such a gentleman and the women all go nuts over him. "He makes us look bad."

And, well, he does. But he''s not icky sweet or too flooshy (my new word) or TOO "new age sensitive" guy.

He''s just...everything I''ve ever wanted. So, moral of the story -- if you put things out to the Universe, the Universe may deliver.

I just wish the Universe delivered a little faster

 

[galeteia]

Date: 5/10/2006 1:17:08 AM
Author: jas
Great episode! Yes I watch it.

He''s just...everything I''ve ever wanted. So, moral of the story -- if you put things out to the Universe, the Universe may deliver.


I just wish the Universe delivered a little faster

It''s funny that you should say that. This past christmas I was reflecting on yet another relationship that was coughing its last gasps, asking my mother ''Why can''t I meet a man who is just like me-- who is at least as exceptional as I am?''

I was 25, and resigned to the fact that with my career choice, I was facing a lifetime of short-lived affairs, married only to my work. Granted, I love my work, but...

New Year''s Eve, I meet someone. Lightning strikes. New Year''s Day is spent taking over the computer for 15 hours straight. One red fish meets another red fish. I''ve never felt this way about anyone, nor imagined feeling this way. We''ve lived together for three months, and instead of killing the relationship as it should have, it just proved how well we work together. We joked about getting maried about 2 hours into our conversation... we aren''t joking anymore. Instead of giddy, we are so calm and content about everything.

It was the strangest thing. I asked for him, and lo, I got him. The universe delivers indeed.