Disturbing dream - just getting it off my chest....

[Keepingthefaith21]

Last night I had a dream that got under my skin so I wanted to write about it to try and get it out of my head.

I dreamed SO proposed. I don’t remember the specifics of it; I just know it happened. Next thing I knew, I was off at my wedding reception. I remember walking into the room and noticing that my best friend’s mother was sitting at a table with her, her father, and her two sisters. They were talking and laughing together. I was so happy to see her mom. The reason? In “real life” her mom passed away when I was in the 5th grade.

I looked at the next table and sitting there looking completely in love with each other and very happy were my mother’s parents. They were talking and laughing with each other and my grandmother looked like she was radiating pure gold off her skin, she was that beautiful. In “real life” my grandfather passed away when I was in second grade and my grandmother is suffering from dementia and Alztimers so badly she doesn’t remember who anyone is and has no concept of reality (she spends her days “talking” to people who passed away years ago and refuses to get dressed or out of bed most days).

I was watching my mother’s parents and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a couple was dancing on the dance floor. I turned to watch and noticed it was my father’s parents dancing together. They looked so beautiful and graceful and again, they had that amazing look of love in their eyes that seemed to radiate off of them. Once again, in “real life” my grandmother had passed on a few years ago. My grandfather is still with us but he’s steadily declining in health and overall abilities.

I was awoken abruptly, by what I am uncertain. In the first few moments of wakefulness, I felt so happy and I felt a sense of completeness I haven’t felt in years. Then, it hit me, it was a dream. Half the people involved in it are gone, they will never be with me again and they certainly won’t be there to share my wedding day with me. I felt horrible. I just laid in bed sobbing. I don’t even know why it hurt as bad as it did. I’ve done my grieving and accepted that I’ve lost some people who meant the world to me.
I was just shaken up by how much it hurt when I realized the feeling of total happiness I had was fleeting. Needless to say, I didn’t go back to sleep after that. I was too afraid I would go back to the dream.

Thanks for letting me get this out.

 

[rockzilla]

*hugs*

There''s a reason why experts say not to read too much into dreams, but when I hear about this dream, I think there must be someway those you have lost are sending you blessings for your wedding. In that way, I don''t think your dream is disturbing at all - for whatever reason (they have passed away or are ill in some way) they can''t join you physically or perhaps emotionally, but you will carry their blessings with you. That may be the feeling of joy you had.

Apologies for the poor prose and if this conflicts with your beliefs at all - not meant to be offensive - but try to take comfort in the fact that you have all these people who love you, and even if they are not all there on your wedding day, you still have their love and best wishes.

Not trying to downplay your grief at all, you should definitely cry if you feel the need to, as that grief never goes away. But, I''d rather have my loved ones in my dreams than not at all.

best to you!
RZ

 

[princesss]

Oh, Keepingthefaith, I know what you''re talking about. Whenever I have dreams like that I end up sobbing the next day because I miss people so much.

What I''d focus on, though, (after having a bit of a cry) is that this dream was a celebration of love between people that you love dearly. It (to me) implies beautiful things for what''s to come in your life and how pleased everyone who loves you is and will be when your day comes.

*big hug* Have a good cry and get the pain out a little bit. I hope that after that you can remember the dream with a smile and think of all the good things it can mean for you.

 

[Shay37]

Oh, sweetie, don''t be sad. How many people get to share their wedding day with people long gone from this world? You had a very special gift from God that night. That is what I think.

shay

 

[mirre]

At anytime recently have you been thinking of any loved ones that would not be able to attend your wedding (i.e. your grandparents who have passed)? If so then maybe that is their way of telling you that even though you will not be able to see them physically when the day comes they will "be there" with you. Or it could be that your mind was trying to remind itself that even though these people you love will not be in attendence you will have them with you always, even on your most special day.

That is probably why you were happy when you woke up, because you had realized that they would most definately be there with you. The sadness you felt was probably the realization that they wouldn''t be there physically and threw you back into the greiving mode that you had when you lost them the first time.

If I were you I''d have that little cry whenever you felt like it, and then think that they''ll be able to still see every little detail of your wedding. They probably would not want you to be sad but to carry them with you through your special time.

I hope that all made sense and you can take any of it how you would like to and like the other post said... if my interpretations of it don''t correspond with your beliefs I am sorry but this is what I get out of your dream.

 

[bee*]

I''ve had a dream like that when my two grannies were in it and it did hurt so much to wake up and realise that it was just a dream and that they weren''t still with me. Hugs and hope that you''re feeling a bit better now. Looking back, I''m happy that I''ve dreamt about them as it made me feel good that I could remember them exactly as they were.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Thanks everyone! As the day progressed I started feeling less and less glum. All these positive opinions certainly helped!

I certainly wasn’t offended by anything anyone wrote. My beliefs are very open ended so very little offends me in terms of religion or what happens once we pass. After all, I spent 5 year administering estates so I had a lot of exposure to different beliefs and I could never bring myself to say one was right or wrong

I’d love to think of this dream as a way for my loved ones to show me their blessings (and perhaps a little sneak peak of what is to come). I do occasionally think of each person who was in my dream though I certainly do not dwell on their absence from my life and the lives of others. Like I said in my OP, I’ve accepted the losses and have moved beyond the stage of grief to acceptance.

I think when I woke up I was overwhelmed by memories of each person all at once so it felt almost like a jolt to remember each person in such vivid detail. Plus it was very odd that everyone showed up in the same dream. I have certainly had occasions where one person will show up but never has it been everyone all at once.
I’ll probably hold this dream close to my heart for awhile. I hope that on my wedding day, whenever that may be, that I’ll be able to remember everyone just as happy as in my dream.