Do you ever feel guilty about your ring?

[ilovebling]

I don''''t know if I''''m being overly sensitive but sometimes I feel self-conscious about the size of my ring compared to others. I''''m considering getting a smaller stone because of it. If I notice someone looking at my ring, which is a 2 carat, with a 5-stone wedding band of 2.5 ctw, and their ring is smaller sometimes I wonder if they''''re feeling bad about their ring? Some people say your ring is beautiful and when I say there''''s is as well, I''''ve had at least 2 people say something to the effect that there''''s is much smaller than mine, i.e. "mine''''s just a speck compared to yours."
Does anyone else feel guilty about their rings too?

 

[pqcollectibles]

I kinda feel the same way about mine. I have a 1.25 carat while most women here have 0.5-0.75. Even the 1 carat gals have not such great cut diamonds making my Ideal look HUGE in comparison. Then throw in the sparkle factor,........ But I wub my ring anyway!!

 

[cflutist]

I wouldn''t say "guilty" but rather "embarrassed" is the word for me. Sometimes I am in the checkout line at a store just minding my own business and the clerk must have seen a flash from my ring and will make some comment about it. I have even had them grab my hands before which is really embarrassing.

 

[IrishEyes]

Oh yes, I know what you gals mean. Ok, I don''t have a huge stone ( .75 princess cut), but my cut is very good and very sparkly, my center stone is flanked by princess stones and baguettes, and my w-ring is princess cuts in a channel setting. All this is in wg and on my small hands, makes for some serious sparkle!

alot of it seems to be the area you live in as well. I''m in the Midwest ( a little south of Chicago), and I''ve noticed (since being on PS!!) that especially women on the east coast around NY and such have HUGE rings! They start at like 2 carats minimum, just on the solitare alone!

anyway, I''m constantly getting compliments on my rings, which don''t get me wrong, I LOVE!! But sometimes I do feel kinda bad (although not bad enough to give them up!) especially if the woman admiring mine says something negative about hers in return. I''ve had women exclaim over mine, then get a wistful look and say they wish theirs looked like it. I never know quite what to say in those situations.....

 

[Nicrez]

I am actually the one who has a ring who could use some steroids. Even worse, I am now in the midst of future gemologists, and it seems all the women in my class are from the wealthy stratisphere...

Case in point: a 21 years old who is buying a house this year. The newly engaged gal who is looking at a 7 ct stone. My friend who buys $200+ watches every 2 months because she gets bored. My other friend who is looking for a Cartier Tank watch for a fashion accessory.

AM I THE ONLY FEMALE IN NY WHO IS SPORTING AN UNDER 2CT ROCK?! Honestly, I am starting to get issues.

Don't be ashamed or guilty over anything. You have money, enjoy it, and let other people feel whatever they want about their own items. Shouldn't it be the sentiment and not the size...?

 

[Mara]

I feel flattered when people compliment me on my ring...I am the type to notice other people's rings (hello I love diamonds!), and so I make comments as well...but I wouldn't make a depreciating comment about my own ring in complimenting theirs...obviously I love my ring and I can love theirs too! Plus YES what do you say when someone else says they wished their rings were like yours? Insert Uncomfortable Laugh here??

I would say don't ever feel embrassed or guilty about your rings...I don't wear very much jewelry at all and in fact my rings are probably more bling than I ever wear on the rest of my body...I am very much a jeans and flip flops gal but I adore my sparkly rings. Sometimes I think people may wonder if they are fake...considering I drive an older car and don't dress up that often...but who cares..I love them and they make me happy and we sacrificed elsewhere (aka nicer car) so that I could have the rings I wanted that I wear daily. Everyone has their vice!

Enjoy your rings!! Alot of money and hard work went into choosing them, whether it was from you or your spouse or spouse to be...

 

[MrsFrk]

Nope. The way I figger it, my diamond rings cost about what a Toyota Camry does.

Jewelry is about the only thing I splurge on- I don''t buy clothes or shoes, we don''t go on many fancy vacations. And truly, I have only a few valuable pieces. I am a creature of habit and like to wear the same thing every day. It has been observed (with both admiration and chagrin) that I care very little about what other people think. I wear my rings constantly, because they are pretty and I smile when I see them on my hands. Isn''t that the point?

 

[eks6426]

Interesting...I don''t even have my ring yet...still being set. But I feel guilty for finding pricescope and learning about truly well-cut diamonds and the beautiful setting options. Before PS I went into the mall stores and probably could have been happy with the solid white gold setting and a .85 princess cut. But I learned too much...and even though I tried to tell my fiance that the .85 princess mall cut and solid white gold band would be fine, he knew I really loved the Michael B 3 sided pave with a 1.20 ct radiant. And he was right but I still just want him..anything else is a bonus. So, I kinda feel guilty for learning enough to change my tastes...I never even saw pave or a radiant before PS......I''ll be curious to how I react to other women when I''m actually wearing my ring. Most people around here have fairly small diamonds on yellow gold so I will definitely stand out.

 

[Bagpuss]

Date: 2/3/2005 3:36:44 AM
Author: MrsFrk
Nope. The way I figger it, my diamond rings cost about what a Toyota Camry does.

Jewelry is about the only thing I splurge on- I don''t buy clothes or shoes, we don''t go on many fancy vacations. And truly, I have only a few valuable pieces. I am a creature of habit and like to wear the same thing every day. It has been observed (with both admiration and chagrin) that I care very little about what other people think. I wear my rings constantly, because they are pretty and I smile when I see them on my hands. Isn''t that the point?

I feel exactly the same.

Each person should be happy with what they''ve got, regardless of what others have, any other way lies envy and madness!

 

[luvn2oxfrd]

not only do i not feel guilty...i wish people noticed my ring more! my fiance saved for over a year, lived at home for a period after grad school, and got rid of his car to buy me a spectacular 2ct heart. it was his choice to do the above, not mine. and the only comment i have ever gotten was "oh, is that a heart?" YES!

lol. ok, that is a bit selfish of me, but i think every girl needs the occassionaly "oooo aahhh!" over her ring, no matter the size, shape or quality, and you should never feel guilty about that

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 2/2/2005 11:58

6 PM
Author:ilovebling
I don''t know if I''m being overly sensitive but sometimes I feel self-conscious about the size of my ring compared to others. I''m considering getting a smaller stone because of it. If I notice someone looking at my ring, which is a 2 carat, with a 5-stone wedding band of 2.5 ctw, and their ring is smaller sometimes I wonder if they''re feeling bad about their ring? Some people say your ring is beautiful and when I say there''s is as well, I''ve had at least 2 people say something to the effect that there''s is much smaller than mine, i.e. ''mine''s just a speck compared to yours.''
Does anyone else feel guilty about their rings too?

I wear a 1.24 center stone, flanked by two .30 stones.....and I wear it with my w/ring which is another 35 points total.

No, I never feel bad......but I never make anyone else feel bad about their ring either.

If someone said to me "well, mine''s just a speck compared to yours", I''d reply "But diamonds shouldn''t be compared.....they should each be appreciated for their own individual beauty. Yours was given to you with love from your fiance/husband, and that is priceless....you just can''t compare that."

Besides, bigger isn''t ALWAYS better......while my diamond may be larger than some, *I* am also larger than some other wearers, and believe me, I''d love to be a bit smaller. It''s all relative, yanno.

 

[treysar]

When I first got engaged, one of my friends said “Why do you keep hiding your hand? You keep putting in under the table – don’t you like your ring?” The truth is, I was embarrassed because I never owned something so nice, so I felt uncomfortable with the attention. Even at a bridal show the other day a bunch of the vendors commented on my ring, and I got all sweaty and nervous about it – it’s weird, I liked the compliments, but they make me feel funny. And BTW, I’m a NY gal with a 1ct ring – so I can only imagine what the girls with the 2ct+ honkers must feel like!

 

[njc]

Date: 2/3/2005 10:39:17 AM
Author: treysar

When I first got engaged, one of my friends said “Why do you keep hiding your hand? You keep putting in under the table – don’t you like your ring?” The truth is, I was embarrassed because I never owned something so nice, so I felt uncomfortable with the attention. Even at a bridal show the other day a bunch of the vendors commented on my ring, and I got all sweaty and nervous about it – it’s weird, I liked the compliments, but they make me feel funny. And BTW, I’m a NY gal with a 1ct ring – so I can only imagine what the girls with the 2ct+ honkers must feel like!

i was the same exact way for the first 2 weeks or so i had my ring and wasnt a fan of the attention! I felt funny telling people i was engaged because i knew they would want to see the ring. Two months later, I am still conscious of how im holding my hands. I love my ring very much and its exactly what i wanted, but its just weird to feel this way... maybe i just knew what it was like to have rings shoved in your face, and didnt want to do that to others? My ring is a loverly .75 solitaire, so i agree... how do the girls that have the 2+ do it?!?!

 

[JCJD]

Date: 2/3/2005 10:49:43 AM
Author: njc

Date: 2/3/2005 10:39:17 AM

Author: treysar


When I first got engaged, one of my friends said “Why do you keep hiding your hand? You keep putting in under the table – don’t you like your ring?” The truth is, I was embarrassed because I never owned something so nice, so I felt uncomfortable with the attention. Even at a bridal show the other day a bunch of the vendors commented on my ring, and I got all sweaty and nervous about it – it’s weird, I liked the compliments, but they make me feel funny. And BTW, I’m a NY gal with a 1ct ring – so I can only imagine what the girls with the 2ct+ honkers must feel like!

i was the same exact way for the first 2 weeks or so i had my ring and wasnt a fan of the attention! I felt funny telling people i was engaged because i knew they would want to see the ring. Two months later, I am still conscious of how im holding my hands. I love my ring very much and its exactly what i wanted, but its just weird to feel this way... maybe i just knew what it was like to have rings shoved in your face, and didnt want to do that to others? My ring is a loverly .75 solitaire, so i agree... how do the girls that have the 2+ do it?!?!

I''m the same way njc - I''m super conscious about how I hold my hands, but I sort of want grocery store clerks or the dentist to comment on it too, especially since it''s such a unique setting, and I like hearing people''s reactions to it (good and bad). I don''t even have a half carat stone, but it''s a pear so it looks larger than it "is". All the other girls who''ve gotten engaged around me recently have more intricate diamond settings but smaller center stones, probably about 1/3-1/2 ct RB''s, so mine looks really big next to theirs and I do feel bad sometimes. But I still love my ring!!

 

[Bella]

I feel guilty all the time. I''m not really a jewelry person, and I would have preferred only getting a wedding band. But now I have a ring that doesn''t do anything useful other than look pretty on my finger, while I wonder if we could have added that money to our real investments, or added it to our kids'' college funds. I donate a couple of hundred dollars every year to charity or to our church. Yet we spent thousands of dollars on a ring. So I feel guilty about wasting so much money on something that does so little to benefit society as a whole, or to benefit our own family in the future.

 

[ilovebling]

Yes I find myself hiding my ring sometimes too! Especially since I moved from the NY area (CT) and am now in NC where it seems like the rings are smaller. I wish I didn''t feel so guilty about it-I find myselt turning my rings around oftentimes when I''m shopping down here or with new friends.

When someones makes a disparaging comment about their ring in response to mine, I do say something like it''s just a stone and the relationship with our spouses/bfs/fiances is what matters most!

 

[codex57]

I certainly hope she''s not feeling guilty. I worked damn hard and for a long time to afford the ring. I didn''t buy tons of stuff I wanted like vacations, toys for me, etc. to save for that ring. I still wish I could have gotten her something bigger, but I was tapped out. I got her what I did cuz it was the best I could afford b/c she''s worth that much to me (more actually) and I want her feeling loved and proud, not guilty. If someone says stuff like that to her, I want her feeling at worse, flattered.

If she wants to hide her ring, I hope it''s for safety reasons and not guilt.

 

[njc]

I dont hide my ring from guilt. I dont hide it because im embarrased by its size (whether people think its too small or too big). My fiance saved a lot and picked out the best he could afford too. I dont know what makes me do it. The only thing i can come up with is avoiding throwing it into peoples faces. Before i was engaged i felt like the whole world had been dating half the time and was getting married before i could even get engaged. Everywhere i turned, there was someone else i knew with a ring. And even though they werent physically putting it right in my face, i always felt like they were going "HA, HA... im engaged and your not!" But that was also before p-scope and the wonderful LIW's!

It seems silly i know. An example of this is my brothers wife doesnt have an e-ring. I know its a kinda sore subject for her, so i didnt run up to her and go "look at my ring!" Its been 2 months, and she still hasnt asked to see. Im not offended... i know *exactly* how she feels and when shes ready, ill show it to her and let her try it on and all those fun things. I know she wants to, and that shes eyeing it from a distance because thats the same exact thing i always did. I was just so jealous.

 

[Regular Guy]

Based on the recently researched assessment of gender gathered here...this comment may be less than useful.

Still, for you guys out there, this interesting post provides data for your considering making this less of a cooperative venture, and instead, one you do for your girl...at least in part.

 

[lmurden]

I wouldn''t feel guilty one bit!
I''m happy for a girl who gets a big rock or a small meaningful little sparkly!
All in all it''s a wonderful thing when a girl gets a diamond from someone who loves her!

 

[tanuki]

When you spend the money on your ring it just goes back into the economy. As long as you can afford it why not?

It pays for the person who sold it to you to feed their family, put a roof over their head, make their car payment. You should feel no more embarrassed about it than if you bought a car or a house with the same money. Thanks to you people are working.

That is different from buyer''s remorse which I am hearing a little of here.

If you regret buying your ring now that you see that you would have been better off spending the money elsewhere - like your kid''s college fund - that is a problem.

I thought the "do you feel guilty about buying your ring" topic was going to be about "conflict diamonds". This thread went in a totally different direction entirely.

 

[kaylagee]

I''m uncomfortable or, at least, reflective in certain places...like St. Anthony''s or other help centers..also Whole Foods/Birkenstock-y type places.

& the Prefecture Immigration office in France. Many people seem *so* desperate to get into/stay in the country. There''s a real cross-section of folks there and I get different perspective on LIFE beyond sparklies.

Also cuz of the proliferation of fakes out there, I think a lot of folks assume that they''re CZs anyway. Being youngish(*looking*) and brown adds to the doubt, I''m shur.

Or they could simply care less about blingage. (gasp)

Most people seem to move on to other issues after the all of the e-ring fairy dust settles. Maybe to return for anniversaries etc.   

I''m beginning to realize that we are a fetish group.

 

[Diamonds4Me]

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable...but not really guilty. The one time I felt REALLY uncomfortable was when a girl I know grabbed my hand, shoved it into her fiance''s face and said "SEE?! Why couldn''t you get me one like this?!"

How awfull.
I wanted to crawl under the nearest rug, like my cat does with the blankets.

But then there are times that I feel scared with it. When I park my car I park waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy out in the middle of nowhere ( people don''t know how to open their car doors properly)..and sometimes if I go to the store when it''s dark out I make sure that I have it turned in towards my palm or I shove my hand in my pocket. It''s amazing how the parking lot lights make it glow like a search light...and that''s a long walk to take with a glowing advertisement on your hand.

 

[Kaleigh]

I don''t feel guilty about my ring. I do sometimes get embarrased if someone grabs my hand and totally oggles over it. I always try to say some thing nice about their ring and jewelry. The only time I hide it is when I''m in an unsafe area.

 

[AmantdeChat]

Hello! I am mainly a lurker on this site, but I was glad to see that someone else has the same feelings that I do. I swear for the longest time I pined for an engagement ring with an awesome ideal cut round in it that I could show off

. I would browse this site, GOG, SuberbCert, Whiteflash and many others just longing for the day when I could actually contact one of them with an order! Well that day finally came in December and I got a real sparkler from GOG!
I just love my ring and can gaze at it in different lights all day long (well, almost all day long

). Anyway, I just don''t want people to think I am flaunting it or showing off with it (although that''s what I wanted before I had it. Go figure

).
Iin fact, I kind of down play it or try to change the subject fast if someone wants to look at it or comments on it. Just the other day a lady gasped and grabbed my hand saying you could put an eye out with that thing! She was actually very nice and I knew that she was just making a funny comment. I wouldn''t know how to respond to someone who is really being rude though.

The silly thing is if no one comments on it I wonder what''s wrong and if someone does then I get embarrassed! I need to make up my mind!!

Anyway, it''s nice to know that I am not the only one who feels a little guilty sometimes. Of course, that doesn''t mean I am not going to wear it!!!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Well, I think I would feel guilty if it weren''t an heirloom. When somebody seems to be envying my ring, I make sure to mention it was my grandmother''s. We could afford a super nice diamond, but it''s from an inheritance, not our income, so if we transferred the money to a diamond then it wouldn''t be there to grow for the future. Maybe someday if our income is higher . . . but I''m happy with my heirloom ring. It is larger than most people''s that we know.

Anyway, the only time I don''t mention that it was my grandmother''s is when somebody makes an obnoxious comment. A teacher at work (who is always complaining about how hard her classes are, even though she refused to teach the low-level classes as a condition of taking the job, while the rest of us all have at least two) has one of those clunky/gawdy maul rings, and looked at my ring one day and said it was a "honker." I just smiled. And then a few weeks ago a friend''s brother-in-law (who made some disgusting comment about how all my male students must have sexual thoughts about me) went on and on about how cubic zirconia is equal to and even better than diamond (our friend said it''s ''cause he has a complex about real diamonds after giving his wife a cz). So I didn''t tell him either. Then there was the friend who said, "I didn''t know your husband made that much money!" Also didn''t tell her.

 

[IrishEyes]

AmantdeChat; OMG, you sound just like me! I am the same way, if no one says anything I kinda get a little offended. But if they exclaim over it, I get embarrassed. I still am happy on the inside that I recieved a compliment on it, but outwardly I get a little flushed. how funny!

Hey ladies, what do you say to people when they exclaim over your rings? Do you simply say thank you? Do you thanks, I picked it out myself? I''ve been wearing this thing for a while and still don''t know how to really respond....

 

[kaylagee]

I say ''Thank you'' unless they have other Qs. (Which is rare.) Sometimes I think 1ct RBs just aren''t remarkable here in the Bay Area. In Paris, there''s more attention and compliments, but only if one knows the person/has been introduced - a stranger/shop clerk etc. is not going to comment, even if they look.

 

[Jennifer5973]

I feel bad when i leave work and the cleaning people are starting to clean the offices. I think, "My ring costs more than they make in a year."

I sort of feel ashamed about it to myself. But it''s really a bigger issue. Yes, I worked hard to have what I have but I was also fortunate enough to be born in this, a free and prosperous country to loving parents who took good care of me, encouraged my academic and personal growth, and helped me get a top-quality education. I am a very lucky person. I guess this experience reminds me of that and makes me feel more appreciative of my life overall, least of which is the diamond.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/3/2005 8:46:28 PM
Author: Jennifer5973
I feel bad when i leave work and the cleaning people are starting to clean the offices. I think, ''My ring costs more than they make in a year.''

I sort of feel ashamed about it to myself. But it''s really a bigger issue. Yes, I worked hard to have what I have but I was also fortunate enough to be born in this, a free and prosperous country to loving parents who took good care of me, encouraged my academic and personal growth, and helped me get a top-quality education. I am a very lucky person. I guess this experience reminds me of that and makes me feel more appreciative of my life overall, least of which is the diamond.

Jenn

no don''t feel guilty, just feel you''re a very fortunate girl with a husband who thinks you worth every sparkle.