do you ever feel guily?

[cdt1101]

Hello Everyone! I''m pretty much a lurker around here, but thought I''d introduce myself. I''m 26 (almost 27), and my BF is 31. We have been together for alittle over 19 months. We live together (actually bought a house last summer), we have a puppy and 2 cats. Over the past few months, we have gone to look a diamonds and settings to that he has an idea of what I like. I really do not want to be involved the process, I would like it to be a surprise (eventhough it''s killing me). Based on his feedback and comments during our excursions, I believe his budget to be in the 10K - 12K range. Of course I was elated when I realized I would probably be getting a VERY nice ring (at least to me!). But for some reason, lately I feel GUILTY! I feel like maybe that''s too much to spend, eventhough I REALLY do want a good size ring. Is this normal? Have any of you felt guilty?

After the new year, he told me that we would be engaged sometime in the next 3 months (i kind of forced it out of him

)! So a few nights ago I mentioned to him I was feeling this way, and that if he really didn''t want to spend that much, to not feel like he had to (because I''ve been COMPLETELY obsessed about getting engaged lately). He said he would think about it, but that was it, he really didn''t say anything else. So now, I''m not sure what he''s thinking, and that''s driving me nuts!!!!

Do you think I should bring it up again? I''d appreciate any advice ladies!

 

[cdt1101]

OOPS...meant Gulity!!!!

 

[moon river]

I say go for it now. Save yourself the ''guilt'' of upgrading later on.

 

[decodelighted]

Ya want your cake & to eat it too, huh, lady! It''s the eternal catch-22 ... want it to be a suprise, but can''t let go of control ... want him to keep a secret, yet tell you what you want to know ... want an awesome, blingy ring ... but don''t spend too much on it ...

RELAX!!! You guys have a great start & seem to have an open relationship with a big step already behind ya (house) ... enjoy the delicious anticipation ... unless you can''t stand it and then ask to be involved. Ya can''t have it both ways!

 

[Caribou]

Welcome!

I was involved in my ring process just to the point of us agreeing on a ring that we both liked. I''m the one wearing it but he said he wanted to have a say in how it looked as well because he had to look at it.

Luckily, we both had similar taste in jeweler. But being involved in the process didn''t take away from the surprise the night he proposed. I mean, if you think about it you know you are going to be engaged sooner or later so you loose an element of surprise there. But when he actually asked you, unless he tells specific details of when and where, I guarantee you will be surprised.

As far as the budget of the ring. As long as he can afford that budget, I wouldn''t stress too much about it. I too sometimes feel guilty when thinking about how much my FI spent on my ring but I will have it forever and I realized along time ago that he is just too good to me and I will never be able to repay him for that so I''m just going to be as good of a wife as he deserves.

 

[Lorelei]

Welcome

You only get engaged once and if he wants to spend that money then go for it! Don't feel guilty, the e-ring is important and if you can afford a nice one that's great. As Deco says though you can't have it both ways

and if you know what you want, why not make it a thing you can do together as the ring will be " your" ring? Some ladies here are involved in choosing the diamond and leave the setting to their BF, others are involved every step of the way - but the BF can keep the actual proposal a surprise

Enjoy this special time in your life and also the anticipation of getting a lovely ring. You could bring it up again and ask him at the right moment what he thinks is the best way of going about it and would he like your input? If not drop some pretty obvious hints as to the diamond and setting you would like, most guys appreciate some clues! He obviously thinks you are worth a lovely ring - so let him have at it and enjoy!

 

[cdt1101]

Actually he wants plenty of suggestions, because he knows I always have a picture in my mind of what I want. So he''s very clear on what I want, I just started feeling alittle guilty lately. Not sure why, but I''ll definitely work on it

 

[Lorelei]

You make sure you do!

 

[anchor31]

If he''s okay with spending the money, than you shouldn''t feel guilty. You deserve it.

10-12k is a great budget and you''re very lucky, so enjoy it!