do you have friends that must have better and bigger diamonds...

[Dancing Fire]

than others in their circle? bigger and more expensive home? and fancier cars? i never understood what go''s through their mind.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Does it really matter about what our friends desire? Kind of a rude question, IMO, as it just seems completely unproductive to start talking crap about all our friends

Michelle

 

[heartonfire]

Here is a similar thread from diamond talk:

http://www.diamondtalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19777&highlight=macho


I have to admit that for about 3 seconds, when all my friends were together and were showing off their rings, I had a strange desire to have my diamond be as big as (not bigger but as big as) theirs were. Then I remembered that I wanted a nice house in a nice neighborhood more than a big diamond and that was the end of it.

As far as wanting other things to be better (house, car, etc.), I don't have any friends that are like that but I have guy coworkers who are hung up on having the best car, cell phone, etc. Everyone has different priorities, I guess. I know a guy who owns a very, very, very, very expensive car but lives in a teeny tiny one bedroom apartment and he's very happy. LOL.

 

[doxiemom]

----------------

As far as wanting other things to be better (house, car, etc.), I don't have any friends that are like that but I have guy coworkers who are hung up on having the best car, cell phone, etc. Everyone has different priorities, I guess. I know a guy who owns a very, very, very, very expensive car but lives in a teeny tiny one bedroom apartment and he's very happy. LOL.----------------

Hmmmmm.....I wonder if you know my BIL?

 

[sevens one]

I have neighbors that claim that another neighbor copies everything they get. From cars to furniture to paint colors etc....

They have been nicknamed "Xerox"

believe me, I'm staying out of it.

 

[Jennifer5973]

No. We live in a very good but not super ritzy area and we choose to stay here in our normal-sized house, fill it with the amenities we like, and generally not "keep up with the jones'" by getting a bigger house or super fancy cars.

We do what we want when we want it, indulge our vices (diamonds, poker) are generous with friends and family, and plan to retire early. And if one of us loses our job (God forbid) we can survive--that was always our #1 goal and we've achieved it.

I got my new diamond becasue I have always wanted a nice diamond. I really don't care what the people around me think.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Okay, this post is just REALLY pissing me off. I'm irritated (which will explain my grumpy posts today) and it annoys me that first, in an earlier post, you ask everyone if they have the most eye appealing diamond of their friends THEN you ask what's the deal with the friends who need to have the better diamond

This is kind of confusing to me. . .Maybe I'm just being b*tchy????

 

[sevens one]

Just interesting conversation I think, MC. It's all in fun.

 

[Dancing Fire]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 9:48:51 PM Jennifer5973 wrote:

No. We live in a very good but not super ritzy area and we choose to stay here in our normal-sized house, fill it with the amenities we like, and generally not 'keep up with the jones'' by getting a bigger house or super fancy cars.

We do what we want when we want it, indulge our vices (diamonds, poker) are generous with friends and family, and plan to retire early. And if one of us loses our job (God forbid) we can survive--that was always our #1 goal and we've achieved it.

I got my new diamond becasue I have always wanted a nice diamond. I really don't care what the people around me think.

----------------

Jenn
not keeping up with the jones ,but BETTER than the jones.

you're right about, don't care what others think,life is too short just buy what you want and be happy.

 

[doxiemom]

I understand Michelle, it has been a long stressful day.........time to sleep it off and wake up fresh tomorrow, I hope.......

 

[Patty]

If you are looking to boost your self esteem through things, be they diamonds, houses, cars, or even careers, knowledge, prestige, etc., they will never be big enough or good enough. Someone will always have more than you. For a short while the THING will satisfy you and you will be "happy" but then the need for MORE will set in again. Maybe your rock is big enough but not white enough. If you look closely, you see an inclusion so now you need a better clarity. Maybe you have a big new house, but the car doesn't really look good in the new garage. Maybe you are the smartest person at Yale but then a study comes out saying that Harvard is a better school.

Outside "things" will never be enough if we are looking for them to define us.

 

[Jennifer5973]

I am willing to discuss this... My husband is an attorney and many of his friends are stretched to the limit for a 5 or 6 bedroom monstrosity with $35,000 a year TAXES alone, plus the Benz, jag, gas-guzzling super mobile thing and/or beemer to fill up the 3 or 4 car garages... and they probably wonder why we're not out there, maxing out our lifestyle, esp. since we don't have/don't think we want, kids.

I'd rather know that if the bottom falls out, we can keep our house and have food to eat. My salary is gravy. It's nice.

When we were younger and engaged, then married, always struggling, working so hard, we said "When will be successful???" and we both agreed that when we could go out for sushi any time we wanted, we'd be succcessful...We both love sushi but it's very expensive and for many years we went only for special occasions, and even then counted the pennies and watched the bill...well, just the other night, a Tuesday--nothing special, we went and had some sushi and at the exact same moment we looked up at each other and smiled...We can have sushi any time.

 

[sevens one]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 10:16:39 PM Patty wrote:

If you are looking to boost your self esteem through things, be they diamonds, houses, cars, or even careers, knowledge, prestige, etc., they will never be big enough or good enough. Someone will always have more than you. For a short while the THING will satisfy you and you will be 'happy' but then the need for MORE will set in again. Maybe your rock is big enough but not white enough. If you look closely, you see an inclusion so now you need a better clarity. Maybe you have a big new house, but the car doesn't really look good in the new garage. Maybe you are the smartest person at Yale but then a study comes out saying that Harvard is a better school.

Outside 'things' will never be enough if we are looking for them to define us. ----------------

Well said Patty.

 

[Jennifer5973]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 10:25:05 PM sevens one wrote:

----------------
On 8/31/2004 10:16:39 PM Patty wrote:

If you are looking to boost your self esteem through things, be they diamonds, houses, cars, or even careers, knowledge, prestige, etc., they will never be big enough or good enough. Someone will always have more than you. For a short while the THING will satisfy you and you will be 'happy' but then the need for MORE will set in again. Maybe your rock is big enough but not white enough. If you look closely, you see an inclusion so now you need a better clarity. Maybe you have a big new house, but the car doesn't really look good in the new garage. Maybe you are the smartest person at Yale but then a study comes out saying that Harvard is a better school.

Outside 'things' will never be enough if we are looking for them to define us. ----------------

Well said Patty.



----------------

I agree...it took a lot of work but I finally let go of that stuff and freed myself from the constant search for "perfection."

 

[Dancing Fire]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 9:40:01 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:

Does it really matter about what our friends desire? Kind of a rude question, IMO, as it just seems completely unproductive to start talking crap about all our friends

Michelle----------------

Michelle
Not talking crap about my friends,the reason i started this thread is: i have a friend who i have known for 30+ yrs,live in a $800k home and brought a brand new $80k BMW 6 months ago called me up last week and want to borrow $15k,so i just wonder what is going through his head living in the life style of the rich and famous.

 

[Jennifer5973]

On 8/31/2004 10:52:31 PM vtigger86 wrote: ----------------[/quote]
i have a friend who i have known for 30+ yrs,live in a $800k home and brought a brand new $80k BMW 6 months ago called me up last week and want to borrow $15k,so i just wonder what is going through his head living in the life style of the rich and famous.----------------[/quote]



See--live beneath your means...

Seriously, that's just ridiculous. hey, V, tell him to take equity out of his house. It's not good to lend money to friends...they become ex-friends FAST.

...or you could loan him your new diamond... NOT.

You know, 9/11 really changed me/us...I am literally waiting for the next big disaster and the economy to bottom out...one of us will surely lose our jobs if it's bad enough.

 

[Dancing Fire]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 9:56:47 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:

Okay, this post is just REALLY pissing me off. I'm irritated (which will explain my grumpy posts today) and it annoys me that first, in an earlier post, you ask everyone if they have the most eye appealing diamond of their friends THEN you ask what's the deal with the friends who need to have the better diamond

This is kind of confusing to me. . .Maybe I'm just being b*tchy????

----------------

yea, michelle it must be that time of the month again.

 

[quaeritur]

What Patty said, again!

 

[Dancing Fire]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 11:00:09 PM Jennifer5973 wrote:

On 8/31/2004 10:52:31 PM vtigger86 wrote: ----------------

i have a friend who i have known for 30+ yrs,live in a $800k home and brought a brand new $80k BMW 6 months ago called me up last week and want to borrow $15k,so i just wonder what is going through his head living in the life style of the rich and famous.----------------[/quote]



See--live beneath your means...

Seriously, that's just ridiculous. hey, V, tell him to take equity out of his house. It's not good to lend money to friends...they become ex-friends FAST.

...or you could loan him your new diamond... NOT.

You know, 9/11 really changed me/us...I am literally waiting for the next big disaster and the economy to bottom out...one of us will surely lose our jobs if it's bad enough.

----------------[/quote]

Jenn
i did loan him the $15k,he may not have any equity left in his home,maybe thats how he got the BMW,who knows.

i don't live in a 800k home ,i still live in a nice home,don't have a mortgage to worry about,pay it off last year ,my daughter will be starting college in couple of weeks,i can't afford a mortgage and college tuition.

i don't drive a 80k BMW,just a 2001 toyota truck.

 

[fire&ice]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 10:16:39 PM Patty wrote:

If you are looking to boost your self esteem through things, be they diamonds, houses, cars, or even careers, knowledge, prestige, etc., they will never be big enough or good enough. Someone will always have more than you. For a short while the THING will satisfy you and you will be 'happy' but then the need for MORE will set in again. Maybe your rock is big enough but not white enough. If you look closely, you see an inclusion so now you need a better clarity. Maybe you have a big new house, but the car doesn't really look good in the new garage. Maybe you are the smartest person at Yale but then a study comes out saying that Harvard is a better school.

Outside 'things' will never be enough if we are looking for them to define us. ----------------

Spot on Patty once again!

I have never understood living beyond your means to have luxury goods (more house than you need, fancy cars, lavish lifestyles, yet bigger diamonds or whatever). I would think asking a neighbor for money would be far more embarrassing than not driving a luxury car. Go figure.

Vtigger, I would not have loaned anyone in that situation money. Believe me, it doesn't help. It's like giving an alcoholic a drink.

 

[ame]

My fiancee has a beef with having a bigger, better stone than others but I really am not that worried about it. Of all my friends only one has a VERY perfect stone, and its about a half carat. SHE chose that and SHE loves it. She couldn't give a rats tookas about what size ours all are. None of us REALLY care other than yay we are all married or getting married. Amongst my coworkers its a different story. When another girl gets engaged everyone else gets bitchy because their rings might be inferior. Oh god forbid you don't have the biggest stone in the office.

So I guess...among friends and family nah...coworkers I must be the oddball because I could give a sh!t less about how big it is. My one aunt and uncle are LOOOOOOADED and everyone has to know at all times. They are obsessed with themsevles.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 11:03:32 PM vtigger86 wrote:

----------------
On 8/31/2004 9:56:47 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:

Okay, this post is just REALLY pissing me off. I'm irritated (which will explain my grumpy posts today) and it annoys me that first, in an earlier post, you ask everyone if they have the most eye appealing diamond of their friends THEN you ask what's the deal with the friends who need to have the better diamond

This is kind of confusing to me. . .Maybe I'm just being b*tchy????

----------------

yea, michelle it must be that time of the month again.----------------

Excuse me???

I was just commenting on your strange couple of posts. . .no need here for personal insults, inless that is YOUR main objective.

 

[aljdewey]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 9:56:47 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:

Okay, this post is just REALLY pissing me off. I'm irritated (which will explain my grumpy posts today) and it annoys me that first, in an earlier post, you ask everyone if they have the most eye appealing diamond of their friends THEN you ask what's the deal with the friends who need to have the better diamond

This is kind of confusing to me. . .Maybe I'm just being b*tchy????

----------------

Yes, you are.

Relax, have a nice cup of coffee, and try to keep in mind that this is just a discussion forum. It's the place for people to *discuss* things...and that means differing opinions, etc.

It's not the end of the world, and hardly worth getting irritated over. If you don't like the topic, just don't participate, right?

 

[aljdewey]

----------------
On 8/31/2004 11:03:32 PM vtigger86 wrote:

yea, michelle it must be that time of the month again.----------------

Why is it that guys INSIST on focusing on that whenever someone has a hissy-fit?

Believe me, an irritating man is FAR more aggravation-promoting than "that time of the month".

 

[MichelleCarmen]

So true, I was just bewildered that vtigger86 first prompted people to brag about their diamonds being better than friends than noted that he can't understand those who like to show off better items. Obviously it's just me. No biggy. I don't need my menstral cycle brought into it, however, so now I just know this guy has an issue with being a bit chauvenistic!

You know, also, just because I don't agree with a person's post, doesn't mean I shouldn't participate/post/discuss MY angle. Us ladies here DO pride ourselves on being opinionated, do we not???

Michelle

 

[aljdewey]

----------------
On 9/1/2004 10:16:47 AM fire&ice wrote:

I agree - wouldn't have loaned the money either.

For people who are fiscally irresponsible, the only cure is for them to actually lose something. Only when they lose something...or are on the very precipice of losing it...does it hit home.

Giving the loan only prolongs the problem and lets him continue to live irresponsibly.

 

[Judi W]

What a shame that some people are so worried about "out-doing" others, that don't enjoy what they have. "Envy green" is not a pretty color and gets you no where. Try to focus on the positives in your life and not what someone else has. If you do this your life will sparkle as bright as a perfectly cut diamond!

 

[aljdewey]

----------------
On 9/1/2004 2:05:04 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:



You know, also, just because I don't agree with a person's post, doesn't mean I shouldn't participate/post/discuss MY angle. Us ladies here DO pride ourselves on being opinionated, do we not???

Michelle
----------------

Michelle: Take a deep, cleansing breath and RELAX.

I didn't say you couldn't disagree with a given post. I simply said that you aren't required to participate in a thread if you find it that irritating. I'm not the one complaining about being pissed off about the thread---you are. No one's twisting your arm, yanno?

If you choose to participate, that's great, of course, but if the content of the thread bothers you, I'm sure ignoring it would be a solution. That's all.

 

[Jennifer5973]

I must also voice that I really can't stand it when men--or women-- use a woman's physiology to explain emotional behavior. I like you, v, but move on from that tact...it's really passe.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

----------------

If you choose to participate, that's great, of course, but if the content of the thread bothers you, I'm sure ignoring it would be a solution. That's all.----------------

Don't worry, I'm not stressing over it.