Do you want/anticipate a holiday proposal? If so, why?

[gwendolyn]

I get that holidays are special, and that some of them are gift-giving holidays so it might be expected that you''d be given a ring in lieu of a Christmas present or birthday present or something. But emotionally, is there some significance to you, where it is for some reason important that you get engaged on a holiday?

I ask firstly because it seems most of the time, guys want to surprise us with the actual proposal, and holidays would seem to be a big tipoff that something might come up--meaning that, if I was the one doing the proposing, I''d purposefully avoid holidays to increase the likelihood of it being a surprise. So, if you think he''s trying to surprise you, why do you think he''d opt for a holiday? Because he''s not as sneaky as he thinks he is?

Secondly (and I may be completely alone on this one, I don''t know), I rather like the idea of having my engagement have it''s own day, where it''s the most special thing going on at the time. I know a lot of ladies have a thing for Christmas Eve, which I adore as well! I just don''t think I''d (personally) want getting engaged to overshadow that Christmas magic feeling.

I don''t mean any offense to anyone who does want to be engaged on a holiday, so please don''t take it that way. As someone who is looking forward to having an ordinary day turned extraordinary when J proposes, I am curious to hear what you ladies have to say about desiring a holiday proposal.

 

[mayachel]

Personally, I''m with you. I''d love to be engaged under most circumstances (ie: not at a sporting event!) but tend to prefer not getting myself worked up over holidays and would much rather know, okay this is not going to happen on _________ (insert holiday of choice)and have it have it''s own day. The exception to this is our yearly anniversary...that would be just fine by me

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Interesting thoughts...I will say this, I am married and have been for almost 11 years, so I am not a LIW...my DH did propose on Christmas Eve and I was absolutley surprised! We had already been together for 5 years and we had talked about getting engaged, but it always seemed like I was more eager than he was. We did not go ring shopping together, I just told him what I would like, so I had no idea that he even had a ring.

He was planning on coming over to my mom's house on Christmas Eve night, but he called to tell me that he was running late...fine, see you when you get here. So about 30 minutes later, the doorbell rings and my sister looks through the peep hole and says "Uh, I think that it is for you". Standing there is MIckey Mouse in a Santa suit! My whole family (minus my dad who did know what was going to happen since T had asked him for his blessing) was there, and we actually got it on video! I did not know that it was T until he took the MM head off and got down on his knee.

It was the perfect day for him to ask me...Christmas is my favorite holiday, and the whole month of December is just magical! I always said that I wanted to get married in December, but T was not into that idea...so at least this way we got engaged in my favorite month!

 

[gwendolyn]

Yeah, anniversaries are a whole different entity to me, because they are for the couple only, not the rest of the world. I''d also be fine with getting engaged on our anniversary, but since J has a hard time remembering it, I think we''d both be quite surprised if that''s when it happened.

 

[Pandora II]

FI proposed on Xmas Eve, which I like - it''s close enough to xmas to always remember but doesn''t need a whole celebration of it''s own.

But then, we''re celebrating our meeting anniversary not the wedding one - our wedding bands will have the 14th August 04 rather than 26th July 08. My birthday falls in the middle, so it would just be too many in one month!

 

[KCCutie]

I think I''m with you Gwendolyn.

I don''t think getting engaged on a Holiday would make the Holiday any more special to me I''d rather E just pick some random day and make that day more special to me in the future. I really think the engagement is just for the couple and most Holidays are for everyone.

Not to say I would be disappointed if E decided a Holiday was the right time, but if I were the one who was going to propose I''d probably do it on an otherwise normal day.

The anniversary thing is totally different though I''d love it if he actually remembered and proposed on that day. However for us our anniversary is a little weird, since we met on-line I use our first date as our anniversary but we weren''t really a couple that night you know. Then kind of as an inside joke he didn''t ask me to be his girlfriend until our 1 year anniversary so when people ask how long we''ve been together he always answers one year less. It''d be really cute if he asked me to marry him on our second anniversary but I''m not holding my breath.

 

[designchica]

I'd take a proposal from my man any day it came!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 3/5/2008 3:31:47 PM
Author: designchica
I'd take a proposa from my manl any day it came!!

I was going to come back and say that I'd not be upset or anything if I got a proposal on a holiday (except for maybe Valentine's Day, really not a fan at all), but you said it better than I would've, DC.

 

[aliciagirl]

I don''t want or anticipate a holiday proposal. The holidays have never left me with any kind of magic feeling and usually just bring up hard feelings (I was adopted by an aunt when I was young and never quite felt like I fit in on holidays). I would hate for a proposal to happen around Christmas, but a birthday or something I wouldn''t mind. BF and I don''t celebrate Valentine''s Day or anything and I think that honestly, if he proposed on V Day it would only be because he forgot what day it was! Haha.

I want the proposal to be in private and so does SO, so that definitely eliminates even hoping for anything when family or friends are around on holidays.

 

[CNOS128]

I don''t expect or particularly want to get engaged on a holiday. I kind of think Valentine''s Day proposals are trite and let my boyfriend know that pretty early on (when one of his friends proposed on Valentine''s Day). We don''t celebrate Christmas, so that''s out. I could see New Year''s Eve, but my boyfriend, apparently, was unaware that that''s a traditional time to propose. This past NYE his friend thought he''d propose, and so did my mother, but he was utterly oblivious...

I could see him choosing my birthday simply because he hates having to find gifts for any occasion, and a ring would take care of that!

I''d still rather he just choose any day, preferably when we''re hanging out at home enjoying each other''s company. It seems more about the relationship than about the pretense that way, to me.

 

[Jewels305]

I think the good thing about a holiday proposal is that it gives you a chance to see family and friends who you might not normally see and share the good news with them, celebrate, and of course show off your new sparkly friend. I also think that people love the magical feelings and memories associated with the holidays and an engagement would add to those feelings.

That being said, I do not want a proposal on a holiday or my birthday and I have told him so. My reasons are pretty much the same as yours, Gwendolyn. Fear that it wouldn''t be a surprise because I might suspect it could happen, and also wanting the day to stand alone and be it''s own special thing. Not to mention, if I hadn''t already told him that I didn''t want it on a holiday or birthday I would be so let down each time it didn''t happen because I would get my hopes up every time.

In fact, today is my birthday and there will be no engagement ring for me today, though I do suspect that there could be *some* kind of jewelry in store for me!

 

[gwendolyn]

Jewels305, happy birthday to you!!!! Share your bday loot with us (if you want to, of course)! Hope you are having a great day!

 

[Miscka]

Date: 3/5/2008 3:35:35 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 3/5/2008 3:31:47 PM
Author: designchica
I''d take a proposa from my manl any day it came!!

I was going to come back and say that I''d not be upset or anything if I got a proposal on a holiday (except for maybe Valentine''s Day, really not a fan at all), but you said it better than I would''ve, DC.

Thritto!

I would not like a proposal on any holiday, anniversary, etc. I want it to come out of the blue and I think those dates are more likely to be anticipated. I have mentioned it to BF and he was confused, he thought it would be great.

 

[Kitten520]

I completely agree about holidays being significant on their own and that the proposal should have it''s own "holiday" that is seperate. I even went as far as to tell my bf my feelings on the matter. HOWEVER...

that being said... Sunday is HIS birthday and we''re having a family dinner. I know he has the ring and am trying to patiently wait for the surprise, and now that I''m re-thinking the holiday proposal thing...

wouldn''t it be romantic if he asked me to marry him on HIS birthday - as a present to himself? hahaha - kidding - my ego''s not THAT big!

 

[absolut_blonde]

I would be thrilled to receive a Christmas Eve proposal! I love Christmas and I think it could just be really romantic . Especially if it''s just the two of you, later in the evening by the fire... I have a little fantasy of this in my head, as you can see. I don''t think SO is aware of this, actually. But since he''s so into the ''surprise'' aspect, I''d almost rather NOT tell him because then he might think I''d expect it.

On the other hand, I wouldn''t want a Valentine''s proposal. Just not my cup of tea (strikes me as a bit cheesey, no offense to anyone else). I am neutral on my birthday and NYE-- I find both to be rather overrated, so they wouldn''t be my ''first choice'' but on the other hand I''d be so thrilled about the proposal that it wouldn''t really matter!

 

[Bridesmaid]

I''m with designchica. Any day he asks, it''s a big YES. I''d even say yes on Valentine''s Day, even though I''m not a huge fan either. But then it would be Engagement Day, so we could just replace Valentine''s altogether.

That said, my college roommate made a HUGE deal that her fiance not propose on a holiday. So he didn''t. And didn''t. And didn''t. And she was getting REALLY impatient. (Like difficult to live with. I would have to request other topics sometimes, and I''m a good listener.) So on St. Patrick''s Day, they were going to the grocery store, and he said, "I was going to propose tonight, but then I realized it''s St. Patrick''s Day, so I can''t."

She was so mad. "WHY would you TELL me you WERE going to propose?! Then I know that you were going to and I ruined it! That''s just mean!!!" So the whole trip to the grocery store, she pouted, and she didn''t even suspect when he bought about 100 votive candles and told her they were for his frat initiation. (His frat was REALLY weird so it wouldn''t have been that much of a stretch.)

They got back, and he took her to the gazebo where he first kissed her and told her he wanted to do something special for her since she was so upset. He lit all the candles while she was blindfolded (and by then she knew something was up, but since he''d explicitly said he wasn''t proposing, she didn''t think it was that), and when he let her take off the blindfold, he was on his knee.

Best part of the story: His name is Patrick.