Don''t know what to think about her comment

[zhuzhu]

So I have worn my engagement ring at work for just a couple of days now, but I did not explicitly announce it to my co-workers. During my coffee break with a girl in my lab yesterday, she took my hand and said "OMG, is that an engagement ring?". I smiled shyly and said yes, and told her that I have been engaged since NY eve, but just got the ring made.

Then she said "Oh that looks so nice, IS IT REAL?"

I was taken aback for a second, and then just said "yes" plainly. Form there she said, "Oh that must be expensive, like 10 thousand dollars, right?".

I just sort of changed the topic because who knows what ELSE she was going to ask me. I was prob more shock about she thinking that my ring was not "real".

Has that happened to any of you? How did you handle that? For reference this is what my ring looks like. Does it look "fake" to you?

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-ering-is-finally-ready-many-pics.77850/

 

[bem3231]

No, your ring absolutely does not look fake!

My sense is that this person''s comments are coming from one of two places:

1) she''s envious and is trying to burst your bubble
2) she''s never seen anything as lovely as your ring and hence *assumes* that it might not be real.

Or, both maybe! I so wouldn''t let it get to you. Brush it off, and avoid her and her tactless comments if you can.

Beautiful ring by the way!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Zhuzhu, you''ve been around PS long enough to know that "regular" people out there ask questions like this all the time. They''ll also touch your diamond. Or ask to try it on. Or a plethora of other shocking and annoying things to the newly engaged gal, who then comes on PS to vent their surprise/frustration/outrage.

Don''t let it get to you. And no, your ring does not look fake.

 

[Fly Girl]

The best advice I can give is to consider the source and move on. People have no idea about diamonds. That''s why PS is here!

 

[lumpkin]

People say and do a lot of weird things. How old is this girl? It kinda sounds like something an inexperienced, young, very unworldly person would say. When I got engaged several of my coworkers were in their early, early twenties, and you wouldn''t believe what some of them said at times. Chalk it up to youthful insecurity, competition, or just plain ignorance. Her comment says volumes more about her than it does about you or your ring (which is beautiful, BTW).

 

[surfgirl]

You mean your ring is real? I thought it was fake...

Seriously, who cares. As TG said, you''ve been here long enough to know that people are gonna say stupid things, ask to try it on, TAP on it (yeah, I''m still bitter about that), etc. You just have to roll with it. Be polite, change the subject, and dont take it off to show some yahoo who might drop it...

 

[Sparkalicious]

Zhu Zhu,

I''m thinking that maybe this was some sort of compliment ... poorly worded and clumsy, but a compliment all the same ...

She may have asked if it was a fake b/c it is so beautiful and a much larger carat size to what she has seen in her circles that she just couldn''t believe that someone she knows would have such a large and beautiful "real" diamond ring. I think the fact that she asked "how much" it was "like $10,000" is a clear indication of this. She was blown away by your ring and could not even fathom having anything so expensive and lovely for herself.

Don''t take it personally or as an insult. Her comments had more to do with her and her experiences than it had to do with you and your gorgeous new ring.

Wear it with pride ... and NO ... it doesn''t look fake at all! It''s simply gorgeous.

 

[bee*]

I wouldn''t take it personally. I think that she was just shocked by how gorgeous it is! She''s probably never seen one so big and so just wondered was it real. Don''t be upset by her comment.

 

[zhuzhu]

Date: 2/6/2008 3:52:32 PM
Author: surfgirl
...... You just have to roll with it. Be polite, change the subject, and dont take it off to show some yahoo who might drop it...

LOL!!! but are you serious? Have you heard story of people tapping on the diamond ring and accidentally DROP IT? That will be an ultimate nightmare......

 

[door knob solitaire]

ZZ...your beauty has A TON of finger real estate coverage...it is unusual...and not the regular solitaire stone. On top of that your stones aren't tiny chips...it is a show stopper. YOU LUCKY GIRL!!

I think that is why the comment just blurted out. And the monetary amount is obviously a ton of money in her mind, so that was a compliment even it actually costs 50 grand-the normal NON PS NUTTS "like us" have no clue what a diamond costs or anything about them.

I am not a pursey...I carry a $3.96 walmart canvas fanny pack while shopping. (I prefer to spend my $1500 on clothes-keep my cc close to me and my hands free-I really get elbow deep in shopping-no hindrances...) anyhoo when my SIL said she had a bla bla bla woop te do bag I said, well that thing must have set you back a few hundred huh? (again you have to know my sense of wacky humor...) In my little $3.96 purse world...it was a compliment. She just laughed at me knowing I have no clue or interest in bags. (It was $2000 deal that should have cost her $3200 who knew?) I am a vegetarian and spending more than $50 on a vinyl or canvas NON LEATHER bag is hard to do...so I just opt out of that fashion statement. I realize that is not exactly your issue. But my point is...I meant no harm in my comment...seeing my SIL successful and have the ability to obtain what ever her heart desires is all I would want for her.

I hope that your coworker was just like me, just has no clue-it is obvious in her $$$ amount and the tact or lack of tact as in my comment to my sil. No ill will was intended...just ignorance

.

And I honestly think she was overcome with emotion or shock when she looked deep into those facet steps...and was probably blinded by the awesomeness of that masterpiece. It just blurted outward...That was the first of MANY MANY more to come...it comes with the territory. You just wait.

Oh goodie... right?

OH>>>PS...when I read your title, I thought Oh crackers...what did I do now?

 

[somethingshiny]

I fully agree with DKS. And, here is why. When I got my upgrade for our last anniversary (just a .77 ct cushion with a pave band), my MIL asked if it was real. Not because she was trying to hurt my feelings in any way. She simply has no inkling when it comes to jewelry and is only familiar with maul stuff. So, she thought it must have cost a fortune (for us anyway) and knew that we don''t throw our money away. She had no ill intentions, but if I didn''t know her so well, I may have thought otherwise.

 

[zhuzhu]

Thank you ladies for all your kind words. You have true talents in making people feel better. HUGSSSSSS!!!!

I was not particularly hurt, just confused as to where that question came from. I guess the fear of possible overreaction from others was the reason why I kept quiet about my engagement, even when I am so full of joy and love for the ring that I could burst!!

I fear if I talk about the ring others may think of me as "showing off". Does that sound weird?

 

[door knob solitaire]

No it doesn''t sound wierd. You are a sensitive thoughtful person. Your grace will shine above the others.

This is and should be a happy time for you, so don''t hide under a rock for fear of hurting someones feelings. Be happy and be yourself...it is obvious you aren''t obnoxious or such. Also, you don''t need to refrain from sharing with anyone you want to.

Be happy, those who care about you will also be happy to share this time with you!

 

[~*Alexis*~]

I dont think she meant it to be mean. She probably sees fake rings more often than not and was just curious. I have said it (then again it looked fake)...dont take it to heart...

its a mindless comment.

 

[onvacation]

Oh zhu zhu, it was probably most definitely a compliment! As long as you have reasons to doubt otherwise, it sounds like the girl blurted out the question not so much as a real question, but a statement of awe. Like it was said above, clumsily, poorly expressed, but it''s something I can imagine people saying (as long as they''re not the nasty kind who jeer and raise the end of their question, like a real question!). It just means you have an awesome ring! Besides, she was the first person to notice, right? It has to mean that she usually looks out for you as a co-worker.

That makes me think... When my BF proposes, I can soooo imagine myself saying "you''ve gotta be kidding me!" or "Dd you really plan all this?" or something equally in denial. Now how would that make my BF feel? Doesn''t sound like a very nice thing to say either?

Oy, I just thought I needed to show up for the proposal, but I guess I need to do some planning on my own, too! Thanks, zhu zhu!

 

[mercoledi]

A. Your ring is beautiful, truly stunning.

B. It must be even better in person to get sweet little SDL so riled up!

C. She probably didn''t think before (or after, or during) speaking. Most people only get to see lovelies like yours on TV or in magazines. As for the is it real bit... the last time I went to buy a greating card the card shop was selling huge fakey rings up by the register for $12. Honestly, the things are everywhere and I bet the market for big fake bling is hitting saturation. Odds are she didn''t know and better and if she has any class or grace she''s horribly embarassed about the whole thing now. If not, what can you do?

Wear that stunner in good health!

 

[phoenixgirl]

YEESH! What a silly thing to say! If you think a ring is fake, you should keep that to yourself. But I can see saying that without thinking. But announcing how much you think somebody''s ring cost? That is RIDICULOUS!

 

[kellyfish]

Try not to take it personally. Honestly, I think many think that larger stones are probably sims due the ring's size, perceived cost. I would in no way take her comment as an insult--perhaps in poor form--but not an insult. Many people are not accustomed to seeing larger rings, etc. It's all in the way you look at it. I'd take it as a compliment that the lady thought my ring was so large or pretty, or looked so expensive that she thought it may not be real......

 

[Sparkalicious]

Zhuzhu,

I thought that this might make you feel better and give you some more insight into how totaly clueless people are about diamonds ...

Today, I brought a cute paperweight I bought over the holidays from Nordie''s to work for a little bit of bling fun on my desk. It is a faceted "diamond" cut from glass, I guess, that is clearly fake! ... if it were real, it would be over 100 carats.

Several people noticed it and asked various ridiculous questions ....

-- Wow! Is that real?

... Sure I would bring a multi-million$ diamond to work and use it as a paperweight??! If it was ... why would I be here right now with you people?!
-- OMG - How much did that cost?

-- Are you going to make a ring out of that ... isn''t it going to be too big?

-- I hope you don''t plan on driving with that ... it''s too heavy, it will make your hand numb.

Each time I looked incredulously at these few colleagues and thought ... WTF? Are you serious? For the most part, they were. People who don''t appreciate or care about diamonds as much as we do can be completely clueless about them.

Anyways ... I hope if this didn''t make you feel better that it at least made you laugh ... Please don''t take your clearly uncouth co-worker seriously.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

This is a classic open mouth, insert foot comment...she probably did not mean anything by it, and might have felt it was a stupid thing to say after the words left her lips. Regardless, I would not give her ignorance in bling a second thought...enjoy your ring.

 

[Harleigh]

Oh, hun, I just checked out your gorgeous new bling, and no way does it look fake!

I think DKS is right, as usual, and the gal just has no idea about diamonds. I also think many of us who LOVE our jewelry couldn''t imagine saying that to someone, but I believe it has happened to a number of us more times than we care to remember.

So, with that said, CONGRATULATIONS on your recent engagement and your beautiful ring, and I hope it proves to bring you many happy responses, but just remember, no one can take how YOU feel about it away from you, no matter what.

Remember that and wear it proudly, okay?

 

[Missrocks]

Yes, don''t take it to heart. People just don''t think before they speak sometimes. I was getting my nails done the day after I got my e-ring. My nail lady was gushing about it, and turned to another client and said "look at her engagement ring, isn''t it beautiful?" The lady squished up her face, glared at it, and said "oh, thats interesting......not what I would expect for an engagement ring." As she clutched her US weekly trash magazine in her hands, I couldn''t help notice her yellow gold free-form setting with a high peg style crown and a marquise center. I just chuckled to myself and chalked her "off-color" comment up to "different taste in fashion".

 

[chiquitapet]

She was definitely just trying to compliment your ring.... ...in her own weird, tact-less, non-PS kind of way...

Your ring is just stunning, so don''t listen to what others say (unless it`s a nice comment)

 

[LitigatorChick]

Moral of the story - people are clueless. People always comment on my lovely "princess" (its a 3 stone Asscher ring).

 

[Phoenix]

All I could think of when I read yr post was "what a clueless girl yr colleague must be", not to mention tacky!!

Just ignore her! Who cares?!! It''s BEAUTIFUL AND IT''S YOUR RING!! That''s all that matters!

 

[zhuzhu]

THANK YOU everybody for making me fell so much better !!!

I am not feeling bad anymore and will wear this beauty proudly. My honey loves me so to give me such a beautiful and expensive ring, why should I apologize for it?

HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS to you all!!

 

[Kay]

I have seen Zhu''s ring in person, and it is truly stunning. The diamonds have so much life and fire to them and do not look at all glassy like poorly cut emerald cut diamonds often do. There is no way anyone with a clue about jewelry would think the ring is fake.

I''m guessing Zhu''s colleague is just young and inexperienced. She may have never seen an EC before -- they do look very different than the RB and princess solitaires that so many people sport. Also, most people have no idea what diamonds cost until they go shopping for one the first time. She probably though $10K was a huge amount for a ring and couldn''t imagine that someone she worked with had a ring that cost that much (or much more).

Zhu, wear your ring proudly -- it is just gorgeous.

 

[Odilia]

Wow, your ring is fabulous!!!!

I agree with all those who say don''t worry about it; as Fly Girl said, people have no idea about diamonds.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Oh I totally think it was a compliment! She couldn''t believe such a gorgeous ring could be real without being super expensive...like $10,000!!! In her world, maybe $1000 is the average e-ring. You know, we see plenty of people on here looking in the $1500 to $2500 range. So I think her idea of $10,000 might be like one of us saying, gosh, your ring is so beautiful, it must have cost $50,000!!!