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Dream Wedding - A Blowout!

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MiniMouse

MiniMouse

Brilliant_Rock
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Nov 30, 2004
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I just had to post this news item from the CNN website about the cost of a Texas couple''s wedding....

http://money.cnn.com/2005/04/27/pf/blowout_0505/index.htm

Could you imagine spending $41,000 on your dream wedding day and honeymoon or am I just out of touch with the cost of weddings today?

 
I read recently that the average cost of a wedding in the US was $23,000. My own wedding (next July) has been quoted as $27,000....and to think, all we wanted was a simple beach barbeque...but throw in some opinionated parents (mostly the future mother-in-law), and it is now an expensive affair.

If we had to pay for this ourselves, we would probably just elope.
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Going thirty grand into debt for a wedding does seem a bit crazy to me. But I''m the type of person that refuses to spend more than I can afford to and work hard to keep no debt, in case of emergency and such...

That being said, spending fourty grand on a wedding does sound all that awful to me, especially when you factor in close to 200 guests and a dress and a honeymoon and all the little, expensive details that have become "standard."

A friend of mine was telling me about his brother''s wedding (who married an heiress) and their wedding cost $2 million. That sounds ridiculous...
 
I''ve been to a couple of weddings this year that have surely cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. But I think everything is more expensive in NYC.
However, those weddings were indeed super fabulous!
 
Date: 5/3/2005 10:26:40 AM
Author: ammayernyc
I''ve been to a couple of weddings this year that have surely cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. But I think everything is more expensive in NYC.

However, those weddings were indeed super fabulous!
Click to expand...

I agree...I believe that in part the scale of the wedding is a cultural issue. Much of my family is from NYC and my immediate family moved to CA when I was young. Growing up, I saw many CA weddings which consist of cash bars, DJs, chicken dinners or buffets. Engagement gifts are given at bridal showers and wedding gifts at the wedding...now there''s absolutely nothing wrong with this!!!

But a NYC wedding would lay out their weddings differently (based on my experience)...NYC weddings have full open bars (no tip jars even!!), live orchestras and bands, filet mignon & always a sit-down dinner...even the cocktail hour could be considered a first-course with the rest of the dinner going on until midnight!!! At the engagement, gifts are given...for the most part, at the wedding, cash envelopes are given to the bride and groom...this allows them to begin their own nest egg and down-payment for a house!! (I''ve seen 175 guest weddings and the bride/groom ended up with almost $30K in cash!!)...

So is there anything wrong with these weddings?? No!!! But culturally speaking, there are different expectations about how a wedding is presented and what is acceptable...are there exceptions to these scenarios!? Of course!!! These are generalized examples....

When we got married, we had to combine the traditions as I was marrying someone who was from the MidWest and they had different ideas of how a wedding "should" be...but we had the band, the sit-down filet mignon dinner and a modified open bar (wines mainly)...
 
I''m sorry, but I think spending tens of thousands of dollars on ONE DAY is absolutely insane. Marriage is about so much more than your wedding day. Sure, it may be a beautiful and great party, but then what? Going into severe debt is not a good start to a marriage. This is just my honest opinion.

I am a "girlie girl", however I think I was born missing the bride gene!! I never really dreamed about a big elaborate wedding when I was little. The only thing I really cared about was what dress I would wear, because I am a big fashion person. Other than that, it was no big deal to me. I am non-denominational, so the religious factor didn''t matter to me either. When I got engaged, my hubby and I "ran off" (although we invited our parents) and got married in a court house. I think the entire day cost us like $200. and it is still one of the best memories of my life! The day meant so much to me not because of what reception hall we were in, what kind of flowers surrounded us, etc; but that we were in love and committing the rest of our lives to each other, with our parents as witnesses. Then we went overseas and were involved in the war in Iraq, but that''s another story
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Anyway, we intend to renew our vows at some point, only so that some of our friends and extended family may be present. But even that affair will be very low-key. Maybe $2000 at the most. I am sooo glad we didn''t have a big wedding, as we don''t have any debt and are progressing along nicely with our finances and lifestyle.

Everyone is different, this I know. Obviously, some women (and men) just have to have a large wedding. It''s also many times a cultural thing too, as many different cultural and religious backgrounds have large weddings as a norm. Either way, as long as the marriage that results from that day is a fruitful and overall happy one, I suppose it is worth it!
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I agree. Having a big wedding and going into debt at the beginning of a marriage is not a good start. However, the huge, expensive weddings I''ve been to were given by people who had wealthy parents or were independently wealthy. They did not go into debt after their weddings.


I know for a fact that these people would, hate, hate, hate just going down to city hall to get married. They wanted big blowouts. They were extremely happy with their events. I see nothing wrong with spending the money if you have it.
 
Yes, I do agree if you have it (or if someone who has it will give it to you
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), then more power to you! Many people give me "the look" when I say where I was married ( the look of " oh... how nice.....
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), but I just giggle at this. Whatever, I''m happily married and have no regrets on the location.
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All weddings are wonderful. Some are lovely and lavish (think Star-zilla) and some are lovely and simple. I wouldn''t judge people on how much/how little they spend...it is all a matter of perspective.

On the other hand, I have seen couples CHOOSE to go into major debt for their wedding..well to me that''s sorta nuts. Why put that sort of pressure into a new marriage?
 
I have to say, we''re spending over $50,000 for our dream wedding and honeymoon, and are not having a big wedding (we''re planning on 125 guests showing). I''ve gone very cheap with a lot of things (no wedding planner, lots of DIY projects, relatively inexpensive dress), but out here in SoCal things are just expensive--and I have expensive taste. However, we would NEVER do anything that would put our families in debt. We''re doing our best to stick to our budget, and are pretty happy with what we''re getting (including a 16-day honeymoon on 3 private islands in Fiji). I think the cost of a couple''s wedding just needs to be in alignment with what they can afford. With our wedding, my parents do not have to take out loans or go into any debt. If they did, I would not have the wedding I am. I know my parents would give me the world and that, if I REALLY wanted a $100,000 wedding, they would do it for me. But the super lavish weddings just aren''t for me and I think spending any more than we already are (without inviting more guests) would be a waste. I think what matters most is getting the wedding you''ve always dreamed about, a wedding you will always look back on with good memories. I don''t think how much you spend determines what is right for you, and that spending what, to some, may seem like a lot of money, is fine as long as it fits your budget and lifestyle.
 
Yup, it''s all about staying within your means.....
 
is it always customary to add the cost of the honeymoon into the total cost of the wedding? Does that mean that technically you should add the costs of the rings too?

I definitely do not consider myself a big spender, and agree that going into debt for a wedding would be a no-no in my book. We did not go into debt for our wedding. I will admit that we did not even ever really add up the total cost of our wedding and receptions, and honeymoon (and rings
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). I am not saying that we did it blindly, just that we knew that we were spending within our means to have the kind of celebration that we wanted to have, and so we didn''t fret about it much.

In the end I realized that unless you want paper plates and party hats for your wedding, you will have to spend some decent $$ and a lot of it does depend on where you live. Just one example is in the cost of music/DJ. We had one east coast reception, and one west coast reception. It was amazing how different the prices were for the same type/quality of entertainment. I can only imagine how much your hands might be tied when you live in places like NYC and the big CA cities.

As long as you feel good about what you are doing, I think it is just fine.
 
I''m a hairdresser and worked a wedding where it cost the couple $100,000. And one of my clients just went to a wedding in Walt Disney World where they made it a "wedding weekend event" from Thursday to Tuesday (activities for guests, even shutting down the Tower of Terror one night for 4 hours for a cocktail party the night before the actual wedding) and they spend about $200,000! Unbelievable, but I guess that''s how it is!!

Ours cost us around $30,000--we saved money by having it in the beginning of March as well as cut costs elsewhere, but it still was my dream wedding nonetheless! Our wedding would have cost us an extra $6000 to have it closer to prime season, so we felt it wasn''t worth it (we paid for everything ourselves).

Weddings get pricey these days!

Alicia
 
What can I say? We do things big in Texas!! :)

My wedding budget was to be around $10,000.00, then to $12,000.00 and now I don''t even want to ask..... :)
It seemed like every time turned around there was another thing we forgot.....
All I can say is, I LOVE MY PARENTS!!!!
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These things can make you crazy and nuts at the same time.
We are having an average crowd, about 200 but my mother wanted a sit down dinner and the coordinator decieded it would be a nice thing to have a candlelight dinner, so that cost, my dress was ALOT more then we expected, we needed BlAH BLAH BLAH. But seriously, I know that we would stop WAY before $41K- OHMYGOSH, that is a downpayment!!
 
Can I imagine spending 41K on my dream wedding? YES, and more! I think my dream wedding would cost way more than that
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I think a lot of people get caught up in their weddings and think they should have certain things. All weddings are expensive, but there are ways of cutting the costs that a lot of people don''t even consider. If you can afford it? Why not go all out? But to go into debt for it I find to be ridiculous. I''d rather put my wedding gifts towards my mortgage than towards my credit card bills. I will fully admit that I have expensive tastes, but if it ever got to the point of debt or maybe not getting a top designer gown, I know which one I''d choose!

Weddings are more expensive depending on location and style. Where I work we host receptions and I''d say the minimum spent on JUST the reception is 30k and that''s for the cheapest of them with a dj, cash bar and minimal flowers. My brother works with a guy who spent 200k on his daughters wedding last summer. But honestly, for 200 people, 41k sounds totally reasonable to me. Oh well.
 
I think it really must be a regional thing. Where I am in NYC, $40,000 is pretty much average for a wedding. Most of them cost much more. I''m not a huge fan of the whole elaborate wedding thing but my fiance and I do want to have something special to remember and we have family and friends that we want to celebrate with. Unfortunately in this city, most of the places charge at least $150/person ++ (that''s +8.625% tax and +18-20% gratuity). So for a wedding of approximately 130-140 people, it''s already up almost $30,000 and that''s not even counting the dress, flowers, photographer, band, honeymoon, etc. But as AChiOAlumna mentioned, that does include many other things like 5 hours of premium open bar, an incredible cocktail hour with enough food that you don''t need a dinner, a sitdown dinner, wedding cake and bridal suite for the night. Our parents aren''t helping us but we don''t plan to go into debt either as we both have good jobs and will be able to recover from the expenses. And hopefully those cash gifts that we New Yorkers like to give will come back to us!!
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We''re saving money and cutting corners wherever we can to make it happen so it won''t be a total blow out. Will it be my dream wedding? Absolutely!
 
Uht oh! We live less that an hour outside of NYC. I dont want to spend that much
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. I have a few years since I am not even engaged yet but I dont think that weddings will be getting any cheaper.
 
I personally cannot imagine that I could have a wonderful happy wedding day, knowing we had paid for everything on credit, I''d be worried sick. I think I''d have a heart attack at the altar! It''s a different story if you can afford to pay for it, but not if it''s going to be a debt around your neck for the first few years of marriage. What a start to a life together.

My sister got married last year in a beautiful 18th century old manor house in the UK. They invited about 25 guests and the service was very romantic and touching. The 5-course meal afterwards was fantastic (I had two desserts
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) and it was so nice to have everyone around the same enormous antique table. We had a wonderful time and the total cost was about 5,000 pounds. It really was memorable and no expense spared. The only problem on the day was that my sister (the bride) slipped over in the bathroom late that evening and ended up in the emergency unit at the local hospital getting stitched up. She sustained a black eye and a large gash above her eyebrow and no hope of any passion!
 
If I had my druthers, I''d elope or have a teeeeeeny tiny ceremony with just those most precious to us. However, it''s not just my choice. The wedding is a celebration of two families - my fiance''s parents wanted something special since their son is the only male in the family and his grandmother is aging and wants something to remember (she''s been ill - this wedding is her goal in all of her therapy); however, his parents have graciously volunteered to pay for the wedding, knowing that what they''re asking for is well beyond our means.

We''re not having a huge blowout bash; only about 125 people. But New England is *expensive*, especially for wedding related items. Even simple, bare-bone services are pricey.
 
I agree, being in NYC, $40000 spent on the wedding sounds like nothing, especially if that includes the honeymoon. We''re keeping things small, only having 80 guests and it costs a lot more than 40K, especially if you include the honeymoon, rehearsal dinner, etc. It''s really insane, espeically considering that if you go even as far as Jersey, maybe 20 minutes outside the city, weddings cost half as much and are really not much less fancy. A friend of mine got married a couple of week ago in New York and I know they spend way over $200,000 on the wedding (without the honeymoon). It was pretty fancy but nothing really extraordinary (well not for a New York wedding anyway). We are lucky to have our parents help out a great deal but I certainly wouldn''t go into debt for a wedding, I''d have rather just eloped if we really couldn''t afford it.
 
WOW!!! you guys are scaring me 50k+ for a wedding? i like the old chinese tradition, the groom side pays for everything.
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i got 2 daughters.
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Dancing Fire, you just have to hope that both your daughters marry Chinese guys then
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