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Dress Advice--Size Meltdown

A

AnitaT

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 13, 2007
Messages
362
After months and months of looking, I have selected a dress. It is a beautiful and classic design. Yay! I even like the shop I am buying it from. Yay! But, this is where the giddiness ends. I have to order the dress and am stuck on the size. I am in between the sample size and the next size up and I am agonizing over what to do. In fact, I even wondered if I was holding water and wondered if I should come back at another time. But, I need to make a decision soon since it takes several months for the dress to come in and I am at less than 5 mths right now.

It probably sounds silly to some of you since the dress can be altered and all. But, it has taken on a greater significance in my head. I have joined a gym, work with a cheerful trainer, and try to eat smarter. I have seen some changes, but I will be honest and admit that I haven’t been as dedicated lately (work, family, planning). Anyway, the dress is making me come face to face with some vanity/self-image issues.
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This whole dress shopping experience has only further confirmed that I am built like a linebacker: wide back and narrow hips. And, the sample dresses at stores are not designed for folks like me. Thanks wedding industry, I feel deformed.
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About the dress—It was possible to zip up the dress, but was not super easy. I have a wide back and that is the source of the problem right now. The zip does fine going up until it hits my back. I don’t like the way my back looks in it right now (no major rolls, but no Madonna taut back either). I can sit down in it. The skirt is a little loose and might need a little altering. If I order the sample size and get back on track with my eating and gym routine, it might be okay. It is even possible that there could be fewer alterations involved. The bodice will be closer to my size, the skirt will not be as loose. However, there is the possibility that the wide back issue could continue even in a buffer, leaner version of me. But, gosh, would I be proud that I did it.

If I go with the next size up, there is no doubt about fitting. It will be taken in to accommodate me. But, there will be more alterations involved with an even larger skirt and bodice. And, there is that whole “I was so close, but didn’t make it” feeling to it. I know this sounds flighty, but it has really been bothering me.
Did anyone go through anything similar? What did you do?
 
Well I bought a dress that was two sizes too small. Then I had to lose weight to fit it. Add that to the fact that I ordered it off the internet and never even tried it on....it should have been a recipe for disaster, but I managed to make it work (it fit perfectly!) but it was one of the hardest things I''ve ever done.

Soooo...yeah.
 
If I were in your situation I would order the larger size, better safe then sorry and you don''t want to be stressing about needing to loose weight on top of every else... unless the smaller size could be let out a touch in the back if it needed to be, in which case I would get the smaller one because the alterations would probably be cheaper.
 
The simple answer is buy the larger size. It is much easier to alter down a dress than alter up.
It isn''t your size or that you need to lose weight, you just have broader shoulders (look at it this way, makes your waist look tiny). I know a lot of it is mental, but it is your bone structure that needs the higher size, not your lack of dedication. That isn''t going to change. This way, if and when you lose the weight, it can show off your amazing figure in a way a dress that is too small never will.
 
Definately get the bigger dress.. i know it sucks but you will be so annoyed at yourself if you get te smaller one and it doesn''t fit in time.
 
I bought my dress about three weeks ago. I was in between sizes and decided to go with the smaller one. I am worried about it a bit, but I think I have plenty of time to lose enough weight to fit into it without stressing myself out too much. If I wasn''t in between sizes, I would buy the dress for the size I am right now (assuming that it can be altered). I''d still want to lose weight before the wedding, but at least there wouldn''t be pressure to do so.
 
If you are between sizes go with the larger size and have it altered. There is a lot more freedom in altering a larger size than a smaller one.

Even if you lose weight your bone structure (wider ribcage/broader shoulders) is not going to change.

I would not let any thoughts on the size you need to order get to you! Wedding dresses are a whole different animal. When I was dress shopping, I had to go with a sample off the rack as I was 2 months out from the wedding and every size 6 (I am a street size 4) fit entirely differently on me! I am of a petite, slender but fit and curvy (read boobs and hips - and a wider ribcage too) build and Some were too tight in the chest and loose in the hips...and then another would be exactly the reverse! In some cases the 8 was better fit overall. I did pick a 6 that fit perfect and only needed hem altered, but I found that if I were to get hung up on how a wedding dress fit as a measure of my body itself, well it would not be good!
 
Buy the bigger size and have it altered down. If this is about vanity, you NEED to realize that you will look MUCH better in a dress that actually fits you than you will in one that almost does. Everyone is built differently, the number on that tag means nothing.
 
I agree with the others to go with the larger size. I too think it would be easier to get the larger size sized down then vice versa.
 
wedding dress sizes are on average 2-3 sizes larger than what you normally wear. i totally understand what you mean, but in the end, no one will know what that size is, all they will be looking at is how GORGEOUS you look in the dress.

i would order the larger size. that way they have material to work with to really make that dress hug YOU in all the right places to make it look like it was made for your body.

and PICTURES PLEASE!!
 
I would go with the larger size if I were you. It sounds like a structural matter, rather than a weight issue. I tried on and ordered the sample size of my dress, but my measurements were just at the border of needing to order down a size. I didn''t do it though because the issue was my hips and waist, and it''s not because I carry weight there, it''s just my bone structure. Not a lot you can do about that.
 
Make the dress fit you! Not the other way around. Sounds like the size up will allow for a better custom fit.
 
In agreement with everyone else, however it may also be helpful to try the dress on again on a day when the shop''s alterations person is in (assuming they have one), so you can ask questions and get answers specifically about the alterations process for your dress. Don''t beat yourself up about the dress size--what matters is that you look and feel amazing in it. I learned a long time ago to forget panicking over the number on the tag--only I know if I''m wearing a larger size, but man do I look smaller wearing something that fits than I do squeezing myself into a smaller size and having stuff ooze out of it! YOU WILL BE A KNOCKOUT BRIDE. Remember that!
 
I''m a seamstress.
Order the larger size. You can take a dress in easily, if its a size too big (several sizes too big can, surprisingly, be as much of an issue as a dress that''s too small) but when it''s too small, you can''t do anything.
Not only are wedding dress sizes different from street sizes,but size numbers in general don''t mean much anymore, you can tell your size from measuring yourself, but not from the tag inside the dress anymore. So why stress about that--you have enough to stress abour, getting married. Lose weight if you want to because you think it will make you feel better, not because there is a panic on to fit a certain dress.
And your SO probably likes you just the size you are.
I was much bigger than I am now when I got married-- we are talking like about 30 lbs more. I lost weight because of health issues (diabetes, now cured) and my hubby is always missing the chubbier girl he married (though he''s sweet and tries not to say a lot about it), there''s a lot of men who like a little more to a woman.
 
I''d get the bigger size so you can have it altered to fit you just perfectly.
 
Thank you all so much for your kind, supportive and thoughtful messages. They make sense and have resonated with me.

This morning I met with my trainer, an upbeat morning person (I am not), and we had a good conversation. There are areas that we can strengthen and areas that are not going to change that much like back width and ribcages. It might sound cold, but it wasn''t. It was a little like the serenity prayer, except a conversation.

Add to that your encouraging and insightful comments. This is such a great forum.
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I really appreciated your feedback. And I made a decision. I went with the size up.

When I called the shop, they were great and reassured me they would work with me to get a great fit. The shop co-owner went so far as to share how she had felt uncertain about her arms when she was looking for a wedding dress, but she got over it and enjoyed herself at her wedding.

Well, there you go. I have a dress! I am going to continue to work with my fab (serene) trainer, strive to eat healthy and enjoy that I can finally stop dress shopping
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Um, scuse me, but you don''t officially have a dress until there are pics--are there pics?
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I"m with everyone else - buy the bigger size (but I do appreciate the self-image issues - many of us have our own)
 
I don't have any pictures of me in the dress, but I do have pictures of the dress itself. It is a Watters. I really enjoy how the dress is "architectural". It is a very simple dress without detailing (the detailing you see in the picture is a removable sash), but the pretty neckline coupled with the ruching and draping are lovely.
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Monterreyfrt.jpg
 
Close up

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WOW that dress is stunning and all that ruching will give you the look of a tiny waist - BEAUTIFUL
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Good for you going a dress size up a dress alterted down is going to look better and frankly bridal sizes are a world of their own

I am a street AUS size 14-18 (US 12-16) depending on which part of my body where talking and when I was in my friends wedding as a BM I had to order a size 22 mind you we took at least 5 inches off the bust (this made me feel really unproportainte around my hips when IRL I am not :P
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), and I was training with a personal trainer for the past 6mths and I just wanted to CRY.

My wedding dress is bigger then my street size as well and will need to be altered down in the bust but at the end of the day no one is going to see the number - heck I might even rip it out :P.

A dress that fits and hugs in all the right places is going to make you look a million bucks :) can''t wait to see your pics :D
 

Deelight,


Thank you so much for your message. It is sure is unbelievable sometimes: I am getting married to my sweetie and my dress is on the way. It really hit me when we reserved our church for the ceremony that this is it--we are getting married. Ordering the dress was more confirmation. Wow.

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You are going to look STUNNING in that dress, missy!
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And I''m so glad you ordered the dress a size up. It will be so much easier to alter to your already fab figure!

Are you getting married in the DC Area? Or elsewhere?
 
Lovely dress and I''m sure it''ll look great on.
 
Don''t stress, honey!

I would tend to buy it "too big" ... I bought my dress off the rack & by the time I got it altered, the seamstress took it down 3-4 dress sizes (b/c it was WAY too big when I bought it) and it looked amazing! I think it''s much harder to get a dress let out.

You certainly don''t want to put too much "gotta loose the weight" pressure on yourself before your wedding. Work out, eat healthy, and FEEL GOOD. Do what''s right for your body, not for your dress (fabric is easier to alter than fat)!
 
Ooooh, that''s gorgeous! Are you going to wear it with the sash as well? I really love the teensy bit of detailing you get with it! Either way, the dress is beautiful!
 
Date: 5/15/2010 9:12:11 AM
Author: AnitaT

Deelight,



Thank you so much for your message. It is sure is unbelievable sometimes: I am getting married to my sweetie and my dress is on the way. It really hit me when we reserved our church for the ceremony that this is it--we are getting married. Ordering the dress was more confirmation. Wow.

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Click to expand...

HTH Nothing to make a girl question her body like a wedding dress :)


It will be here before you know it - and the good thing is you will have more and more of those momments and each time they get better and better :)
 
The dress looks beautiful and I''m sure it will be altered to fit perfectly!

Enjoy the rest of the planning, it can be stressful but its all worth it at the end of the day. :)
 
that''s a lovely dress :)
 
Hello! I haven''t had a chance to log on very much in the last several days. However, I wanted to reply before PS makes the transition to PS 2.0.

Thank you all for your kind messages.

VC10um--I am indeed getting married in DC! We choose the Carnegie Institution of Science for our reception site.

Doodle-- I was thinking of getting a blingly sash, but now I am also considering a sash with flowers. I like that I have some options with this dress
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