Dress Stress....

[RMFA]

All,

I am usually a lurker, but hope that soon-to-be brides will understand and give me some great advice.....Please help!

I am having a stressful dress situation and need some unbiased opinions about this.....

So, I ordered my dress in July and 2 weeks later the salon called me and told me that is was discontinued. They ordered my "second choice" dress for me in case the first choice was not able to be delivered to me. (with my permission)So, I waited and now both have been delivered. The salon then told me that I could choose whichever on I wanted to wear and then return the other one to them.

So, meanwhile, my futue in-laws and family decided to weigh-in on which one they wanted me to wear. ( I did not ask anyone except my mother) EVERYONE, (except for two people) voted for one dress. However that is not the dress I want to wear. I want to wear my first choice. It is exactly what I wanted and pictured myself wearing! Everyone tells me the other one makes me look thinner and taller. (except my best friend..she likes the first choice dress and thinks I look better in that one....)

So, my problem is, now I feel like on my wedding day everyone will be saying ,, "she should have worn the other dress" or " you should have seen the other dress, it was MUCH nicer" instead of " WOW! she looks beautiful"....

I know this sounds stupid, but I am feeling really bothered by this.

Thanks for listening.

 

[MelissaSue]

I think you should wear which ever one you want to wear.. It really doesn''t matter what the other people say, AND i''m sure on your wedding day they won''t be thinking that you should have worn the other dress. Brides ALWAYS look beautiful, especially when they are happy, confident and IN LOVE!.

However, if lots of people think you look better in the one dress, maybe you should really look into why they think that. Do you have pics of yourself in the dress that you can look at? Because sometimes, as unfortunate as it is, when you are looking in the mirror, you might miss things that someone else might be able to see. That is why it is good to have photos, so you can really see how you look.

But again, if you really love the first dress, you will look fantastic in it! You wouldn''t love it if you didn''t look great!

 

[MelissaSue]

Hey! I just saw your same post on the knot and see that you are having your wedding in buffalo! I''m in buffalo too! Where are you having your wedding? If you need any vendor advice, let me know!

 

[lmurden]

It''s your wedding! Wear the dress that you love. At the end of the day you are the one walking down the aisle.
Good luck.

P.S.
You are better off standing up for yourself now because it will only get worst once you are married.

 

[MINE!!]

I think a nod and curtsey is in order here.

Look, this is YOUR wedding... this is YOUR day... this is YOUR life... honey wear whatever you want to wear!! If you let them choose it for you now.. who knows what they will be pushing you into next. Be happy with what you want... be confident.. if you do not feel like a princess then people will see it.

Take charge of your life... don;t let anyone tell you what to wear.. you will feel better for it.

 

[Layne]

Trust yourself on this one- what is important on your wedding day is that you feel beautiful. When you look at your pictures and see yourself in the dress you love, you will smile. If you see yourself in the dress your FMIL likes better, you will (probably) not smile. Go will your gut.

 

[RMFA]

Thanks everyone.

MelissaSue, I am getting married at St. Joseph Cathedral and the reception is at the Butler Mansion..... I actually think I paged you AWHILE back saying "HI!". I live in NYC now, but my parents still live there...

It is not that I feel that they are trying to push me into anything. Lord knows I am not going to wear what they "tell" me to. I will wear the one I want to and the one I love.

Sorry I forgot to mention, they also like th other one, because it is more "traditional" (satin ballgown)....and they don''t like the style of the other dress (all lace slim A-line).

The thing that bothers me is that I feel like they won''t look at me the same way when I walk down the aisle.....I am not explaining myself well....

Like you all said, I just have be confident and feel beautiful and it will show through.

Thanks for the encouragement.

Sometimes I feel in the heat of the wedding planning, I forget that I am an independent confident woman....

 

[JCJD]

Date: 10/17/2005 3:36:32 PM
Author: RMFA
The thing that bothers me is that I feel like they won''t look at me the same way when I walk down the aisle.....I am not explaining myself well....


.....

Sometimes I feel in the heat of the wedding planning, I forget that I am an independent confident woman....

Wear the dress that YOU want to. Go back and try them both on, with veils, shoes, etc to get the whole "image" of the dress. Then, return the one you don''t want. You want your family to see you as an independent practically-married woman when you walk down the aisle, not as a girl who bends to pressure and doesn''t assert herself on issues that she should (like YOUR dress), you said so yourself. That said, don''t let your stubbornness get in the way of how you really feel about the dresses, just as you shouldn''t let your family''s opinions get in the way. HTH!!

 

[BrightSpot]

I think when your family & friends see you walking down the aisle in your favorite dress, all they''ll see is how beautiful you look & how you''re glowing because you''re wearing the dress you love & marrying the man you love!

But, if you''d like to get more opinions on the dresses, feel free to post pics of yourself in each dress on your thread & we''ll be happy to throw in our 2¢! We love seeing dresses on brides...

 

[flopkins]

To echo everyone else- wear whatever dress makes you happiest... and makes you feel like a bride. Try to ignore everyone else. They might make comments, but remember that if they do say mean/negative things on your wedding day, they are just being small minded and spiteful. you shoulnd''t worry about them, worry about how gorgeous and blissfully happy you will be that day!

 

[AndyRosse]

Like everyone else has said, go with whatever will make you feel the best on your wedding day!!

I know what you mean when you say how they will look at you when you walk down the aisle. I would just pick the dress YOU want, and then tell these select people that liked the other dress that you just LOVED the way you looked, felt, etc. in your dress and hope that they understand. Then forget about them and their opinions because YOU, your mother, and your best friend all love the dress, and honestly, that is all that matters here.

On your wedding day, I honestly don''t think they will be thinking, "oh, if she had only worn the other dress!" I think they will be too mesmorized by you and whole significance of the ceremony to be worrying about something like which dress. Either way, in the end, you will be happy with your decision and your photos, etc.

Good luck!!!

 

[Tybee]

I agree with everyone else here.
The dress you love will cause you to GLOW as you walk down the aisle, and lucky you that you got to get your first choice!
I''m a HUGE fan of A-line dresses, so I say go for it.
But, like Brightspot said, post the pictures, we lOVE to see real brides in their dresses, and you''re sure to get a lot of positive feedback.

 

[selflove]

I completely understand how you feel about "what will everyone think of my dress" on your wedding day.

If your wedding is a long ways off, the family and in-laws may forget about the other dress.

Listen to your gut and to your best friend; don''t worry about what the old-folks say!