email/phone RSVP. Tacky?

[MonkeyPants]

Now that I''m starting to pick up the pace with the planning lots of questions are coming up.

Fi and I are trying very hard to stick to our budget for this wedding. Instead of including RSVP cards and self-addressed stamped envelopes with the invites, we were planning on putting our contact email and phone on the bottom of the invite: "Please RSVP at [email protected] or call us at 555-555-5555"...

Do you think this is tacky?

 

[sunnyd]

I don''t know about tacky (I''m no expert) but it IS very informal. I think it would be more of a hassle as well trying to keep track of the RSVPs.

To save money, you could just do a postcard RSVP. Or leave off the return postage...but that would get you frowned upon, so I didn''t say that.

 

[Lauren8211]

To save money, J wrote a website that had an RSVP feature on it.

You just type in firstinitallastname (JDoe) and it lists all the people on their specific invite, then you just clicked yes or no, and it was saved in a database.

I dont know about tacky, but if you can find a way to manage it easily and save money, I don''t see why not!

 

[Winks_Elf]

Not everyone has a computer (especially older guests), and not that it''s tacky but a phone RSVP is very informal. Don''t be surprised if guests come in jeans if you go that route.

 

[MonkeyPants]

thanks sunnyd, elle, and winks.

Winks the elderly and non-computer folks were actually one of the reasons why I''ve been hesitating. However the wedding is an informal outdoor garden wedding so i''m okay with the wedding coming off as informal.

elle, I''ve thought about going the electronic route too by putting a feature on our wedding website, but again, it involves the use of computers.

bahh...might just bite the bullet and do paper rsvps...hmph.

 

[nkarma]

MP, I wouldn't let what other people think (in this situation) sway you. It's your money and I also kind of think it's personally a waste to do the RSVP card thing if you don't want to.

I am having an informal wedding as well and will do a website RSVP. My friends' very extravagent wedding did website RSVP. I bet the number of people you are inviting who don't use computers you can count on one hand, so maybe you or a close relative can help them. I am even doing an email STD so I must be really tacky. But it's my wedding so I don't care.

 

[ts44]

MonkeyPants, I considered doing online RSVPs too, since my fiance is a software engineer he could have handled all the back-end stuff on the website. But ultimately, we just ended up going with traditional RSVP''s. I felt like I was trying to reinvent the wheel with my wedding invites and it was actually causing more stress than I thought it would.

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 12/7/2009 4:41:22 PM
Author: nkarma
MP, I wouldn''t let what other people think (in this situation) sway you. It''s your money and I also kind of think it''s personally a waste to do the RSVP card thing if you don''t want to.

I am having an informal wedding as well and will do a website RSVP. My friends very extravagent wedding did website RSVP as well. I bet the number of people you are inviting who don''t use computers you can count on one hand, so maybe you or a close relative can help them. I am even doing an email STD so I must be really tacky. But it''s my wedding so I don''t care.

Ditto.

The oldest people invited to my wedding are my grandma who is online ALL.DAY.LONG and my SO''s grandma who lives with his parents so I think we can figure out if she''s coming or not.

Old people are pretty computer saavy these days and if they''re not, a quick phone call won''t hurt!

And I don''t think because we''ll be doing electronic rsvps that people will show up to the church in jeans...that seems like kind of a silly leap to me.

 

[LilyKat]

I believe that technically, the correct etiquette in response to an invitation is a written note/letter of response from the person invited, on their own notepaper. So there is actually no requirement to provide an RSVP card.

I would put your address, email AND phone on the invitation under RSVP. That way, people can choose which way they respond. Most younger people would take the email route for convenience, but it leaves the option of a formal written reply. Older guests who may be less computer-savvy but probably have more awareness of old-fashioned etiquette, may well go this route instead.

Personally, I wouldn''t assume at all that an RSVP/phone reply is any less formal than RSVP cards, but maybe that''s just me.

 

[choro72]

My my, I''m doing this route, but I didn''t realize how informal everything think this is. Oh well. I still say do whatever you want. The only people we need to concern about is FI''s dad''s friends, and if you don''t mind me saying, I couldn''t give a chipmunk''s squeak as to whether or not they will be able to RSVP.

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 12/7/2009 5:54:34 PM
Author: LilyKat
I believe that technically, the correct etiquette in response to an invitation is a written note/letter of response from the person invited, on their own notepaper. So there is actually no requirement to provide an RSVP card.

I would put your address, email AND phone on the invitation under RSVP. That way, people can choose which way they respond. Most younger people would take the email route for convenience, but it leaves the option of a formal written reply. Older guests who may be less computer-savvy but probably have more awareness of old-fashioned etiquette, may well go this route instead.

Personally, I wouldn''t assume at all that an RSVP/phone reply is any less formal than RSVP cards, but maybe that''s just me.

Lily- i think you offer up the best advice for this one. I agree, putting all forms of contact is a great way for all generations. Also, i like Sunnyd''s postcard idea!

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/7/2009 5:54:34 PM
Author: LilyKat
I believe that technically, the correct etiquette in response to an invitation is a written note/letter of response from the person invited, on their own notepaper. So there is actually no requirement to provide an RSVP card.

I would put your address, email AND phone on the invitation under RSVP. That way, people can choose which way they respond. Most younger people would take the email route for convenience, but it leaves the option of a formal written reply. Older guests who may be less computer-savvy but probably have more awareness of old-fashioned etiquette, may well go this route instead.
[ . . . ]

LilyKat is absolutely correct--the proper way to respond to an invitation is with a handwritten note on your own stationery, so I agree that her solution is best: provide your home address, email address, and phone number on your invitation. Even when people send out response cards with their invites, I fill that out but I always send a proper response on my own stationery, as well.

I would not think including your email and phone number are tacky, I''d just think it signaled that your wedding is very informal, and I''d dress accordingly.

 

[Rhea]

We did that for one of our weddings and didn''t have any responses except one (out of 20). It was so small that people assumed that if we invited them, they were coming. To be fair, that was more or less true.

A friend recently did it for her 120 guest wedding and got good responses. I don''t know how many people responded, but it worked great to for us to respond. She didn''t have to worry about finding international postage for us, and I didn''t have to worry about posting it back at least a week before the deadline.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I didn''t do paper RSVPs because it didn''t make sense for me personally. It just seemed like more time, more money, more paper.

We had a free website (mywedding.com) that had a built in RSVP feature, so we included that web address, our emails, our number, and our address and just asked guests to RSVP in whatever manner was easiest for them. I didn''t get any emails, phone calls, or mail (although I did get a few RSVPs via facebook and AIM, go figure). And nobody showed up in jeans or tshirts, I think the rest of the website did a fine job of setting the tone.

People of my parents'' generation all use the internet, so really the only people that were possible concerns were his grandparents. But we knew they were coming anyways, and his mom just RSVPed for them.

 

[katamari]

Given how hard it is to get people to RSVP, I think the best is a paper, a phone, an e-mail, and a website option. And, even then you will still be calling people the week of the deadline to find out if they are coming or not.

 

[MonkeyPants]

Thanks everyone! just wanted to let you know that i ordered my invites and went with LilyKat''s suggestion with the address, email, and phone on the bottom of the invite. yay! one more thing to check off the list!