Email Safe The Date??? rude??

[iceplum]

I remember getting a STD via email from a friend of mine, and I thought it was a great idea. My wedding will be pretty small, ~100 people, and maybe 1/2 the people have emails. Should I just email everyone that has email and then hope that word of mouth will notify the other people? or maybe send out STD for people without email? is it rude to do it via email and snail mail? Thanks

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Both as a guest and a bride I definitely prefer the email version.
As a guest, I don''t lose it since it is on my computer.
As a bride Ilike both because it is is cheaper, but mostly because it is much better for the enviroment.
Because we do not have many travelers I am not offsetting the carbon footprint of my guests but I am doing whatever I can to make my wedding more green and that is one of the ways I am doing it.

 

[Independent Gal]

I don't think it's rude at all. STD's are a new invention anyway. It's especially not rude if, instead of a mass e-mail, you send people a personal e-mail. Do 5 a day and you'll be done in 10 days. Just "Hey Aunt Jane! It's been a while hasn't it? How's little cousin Joey? etc. etc. Oh, and by the way, please mark October 67th on your calendar because we are getting married! We'll send proper invitations later, but just wanted to give you a heads up."

So far from rude, Aunt Jane et al would probably enjoy a nice, personal e-mail from you. I know I personally would enjoy this much more than a standard STD. Wouldn't you?

 

[misysu2]

I can tell you that you're going to get a wide range of answers here, ranging from "we did it and glad we did" to "heck yes that's rude! never do that!"

I personally did email STD's and called everyone else to let them know. Most of our guests are family, and I knew that our family gossip wouldn't let anyone forget! I think it worked well.

Just do what's best for you! We live in a virtual age and a green-conscious age-- the etiquette is evolving!

 

[iceplum]

I agree, I guess it wont be too bad sending the STD to people with email and calling the rest of them....I can always ask both mothers to help me with it Thanks for easing my concern.

 

[surfgirl]

If I''m being really honest, this is a total pet peeve of mine. I just believe there are certain things that warrant an actual attempt at following the traditional way of doing things and STDs are one of them. I just got an email STD from a cousin last week and I thought it was really tacky. It made me think if they''re too cheap or lazy to send out actual STDs then why should I spend all that money to fly across the country for their wedding. I dont know, it''s just a visceral reaction I have to that sort of thing. Then again, I really appreciate a nice STD or a nice invitation. Sorry...emailed STDs, invitations and thank yous just say to me that the person is lazy or cheap. I''m sure you''re neither so...why do you not want to send out a simple STD? I think it will be a lot more memorable than an email that will get lost in someone''s inbox.

 

[DMBFiredancer]

i have thrown out every save the date thing ive goten even if it was a magnet. so....i''m all for the email - its only for someone to block out that date in advance.....why waste the money if you dont need to?

i give it a thumbs up! i wonder if evite.com has some

 

[musey]

I don''t have any negative reaction to such things, but then I''ve matured during the age of evite/myspace/facebook/etc. I''m used to knowing that if I don''t check my email, I may miss an event

I sent paper save the dates mostly because I thought it would be fun. I never get "real" mail (just bills and netflix) so I thought a lot of people might like that as I would. I also liked having it to put in my scrapbook. If I weren''t silly about such things, I likely wouldn''t have sent them at all, and just sent invitations a little earlier than I''m planning to.

 

[Gypsy]

*I* would think it was great. Cost savings and notice rolled up into one green package.

BUT I have heard others complain and say that it's tacky, lazy or whatever. I just don't happen to agree. Do what's right for you.

 

[~*Snow*~]

I personly love the idea. We are trying to be very "green" as well.
And today with the intergration for e-mail/calander all in one it''s so easy to just pop the date right in there and you''ll never forget it!
Also i love Independant Gal''s advice of doing 5 or so a day and making them more personal! The only down fall i would see is that they all reply wanting to "catch up" over e-mail and you''ll have 50 e-mails to reply to! hehe

 

[mintve]

I don''t think its tacky. Its simple and its green. But, if you are not sure, you can always jsut sent a postcard. When I planned weddings in vegas, brides sent out Vegas postcards as save the date. Or you can send postcards from your home town, or to match the theme of your wedding or you can make one with your photo on it. Postcards are cheap and postage for them isn''t that bad either.

 

[enbcfsobe]

Date: 1/18/2008 1:45:20 PM
Author: musey

I sent paper save the dates mostly because I thought it would be fun. I never get ''real'' mail (just bills and netflix) so I thought a lot of people might like that as I would. I also liked having it to put in my scrapbook. If I weren''t silly about such things, I likely wouldn''t have sent them at all, and just sent invitations a little earlier than I''m planning to.

I think this is a big factor in it for me. I don''t think it''s rude, but I do think that even direct (rather then bullk) email seems a bit less personal than sending an actual card. It stands out a lot more to me when I get something in the mail, even if I lose the piece of paper.

 

[VRBeauty]

I''ll admit to having age and generation related issues with emailed STDs, and I''m guessing that your guests'' responses can be largely predicted by their ages. I''m perfectly comfortable using computers and email, but I think emails are a poor substitute for a mailed invitation when it comes to formal occasions, or a hand-written thank you.

More than one bride on this forum has run into problems with people who forewarded emailed STDs to other family members, etc who they just assumed would be invited. Relying on emails or a combination of emails and word-of-mouth also seems like an ivitation to confusion -- or trouble.

 

[musey]

Date: 1/18/2008 4:12:10 PM
Author: MINIMS

More than one bride on this forum has run into problems with people who forewarded emailed STDs to other family members, etc who they just assumed would be invited. Relying on emails or a combination of emails and word-of-mouth also seems like an ivitation to confusion -- or trouble.

GOOD POINT. I hadn't thought of that. I'm sure this may happen anyway, but the informality of e-mails almost invites people to forget what exactly it is that they're dealing with.

And then we're back to the etiquette seminar that I want Haven to travel the country teaching.