Emotional Support Area

[Maisie]

I was wondering if it would be possible to have a section just for people seeking emotional support. It would make it so much easier for the people who need help to have a place to go where people who love to offer advice or just a listening ear can support them. I know there are lots of people on PS who offer great advice and enjoy helping other members out.

I think some posts sort of go missing in Hangout or Family and Home as its so busy there.

 

[ckrickett]

I like this idea

 

[strmrdr]

I like the idea also

 

[Italiahaircolor]

+1 for sure

 

[isaku5]

I think it''s a great idea too. Glad you came up with the idea, Maisie

 

[decodelighted]

I''m thinking who would ever want to go THERE! But maybe its because I''m more "advice" oriented than "support" oriented. By nature. And by habit.

What if there was a "Pet Tragedy" area or a "Very Sick" area -- oy ... its not like people wouldn''t want to be helpful but it takes a certain mentality to go SEEKING OUT other people''s bad situations in order to offer support. I kind of appreciate things all being mingled together so I don''t have to SEEK OUT the "tuff stuff" ... but can react in a mix of other topics.

But if others think it''ll be helpful to have things organized this way ... I''ll deal!

 

[Maisie]

Deco I think you underestimate the caring nature of the PS''ers. I am sure that there are a number of posters who would be happy to seek out people who have asked for support. I know I would be around to offer help and maybe advice too. I think they go hand in hand. You can''t just say ''there there, never mind'' when someone is upset. Advice and support is helpful and necessary too.

 

[Lynn B]

Date: 8/27/2009 11:51:25 AM
Author: decodelighted

...I'm thinking who would ever want to go THERE! ...

This comment made me LOL! Soooooooo funny to me!

And I'm sure that's because that's kinda how I feel, too --but (for me) that's only because in my field (social work), I get enough trauma and drama from "that kinda stuff

" every day in my work life, so I tend to generally remain separate from those kinds of threads. ALTHOUGH... I have to say that the few times I have popped in, I am usually blown away by the compassion and plain-and-simple AWESOME advice that the OP who has reached out usually receives. So, all that being said, I really do understand the appeal of these kinds of threads, and I can appreciate the help that can be received there.

The only potential problem that I see is that a sub-forum like that would overlap with other forums; most commonly (I would think) the Family, Home and Health one.

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think that sub-forum break-downs (recognizing and separating the diverse sub-forums with as little overlap as possible, while still trying not to have a kijillion, super-specialized separate subforums!) may well be one of the largest challenges facing PS's restructuring.

And, as Ali and Andrey remind us sometimes... PS *IS* a diamond education site. It is really a privilege to be able to have subforums where we can discuss *other things* with our PS friends. How general, or how specific, these other subforums should be is a complex situation in which (IMVHO) there aren't any easy answers.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 8/27/2009 1:03:16 PM
Author: Maisie
Deco I think you underestimate the caring nature of the PS''ers. I am sure that there are a number of posters who would be happy to seek out people who have asked for support. I know I would be around to offer help and maybe advice too. I think they go hand in hand. You can''t just say ''there there, never mind'' when someone is upset. Advice and support is helpful and necessary too.

This is true. It reminds me of a particular posting from a regular member...she was announcing a sad event in her life--seeking some emotional support, but also ended up getting some amazing advice which will hopefully help her in the future. I think it is that story and others like it, that would benefit from a special section. We need to remember, life is messy--bad things happen, and the longer you''re a member of this site the more invested you become...you have you "friends" here and people care-- so I believe it''s only natural to offer a huge hug when things are upside down for a person, and a little side dish from the outside looking in.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/27/2009 1:03:16 PM
Author: Maisie
Deco I think you underestimate the caring nature of the PS''ers. I am sure that there are a number of posters who would be happy to seek out people who have asked for support.

Call me pragmatic. I agree with you that there are many very caring, very wonderful, deep wells of empathy and compassion who WOULD go above and beyond to seek out those "emotional support" threads and traffic the area diligently.

HOWEVER ... overall those threads my get significantly less traffic than they would mixed in with the "general population" of Family threads or Hangout threads or whatever. Its math not magic, yanno? And you wouldn''t just get the "compassionate" posters. You''d also attract those who thrive on kicking people when they''re down. The "drive by accident scene looky loos" who crave drama. You''d miss the middle-of-the-road folks. The ones who might click on something unawares but happy to offer support or advice once touched or moved by a certain situation. But who DIDN''T sit down at the computer looking for "sob stories" to weigh in on. It becomes like "community service duty" rather than something more organic.

Just my opinion. And its not one that''s particularly easy to share -- because it doesn''t cast me in an angelic light, yanno? But I''d bet I speak for the silent majority. Who might be less likely to put themselves out there so nakedly. Maybe?

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 8/27/2009 2:08:09 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 8/27/2009 1:03:16 PM
Author: Maisie
Deco I think you underestimate the caring nature of the PS''ers. I am sure that there are a number of posters who would be happy to seek out people who have asked for support.

Call me pragmatic. I agree with you that there are many very caring, very wonderful, deep wells of empathy and compassion who WOULD go above and beyond to seek out those ''emotional support'' threads and traffic the area diligently.

HOWEVER ... overall those threads my get significantly less traffic than they would mixed in with the ''general population'' of Family threads or Hangout threads or whatever. Its math not magic, yanno? And you wouldn''t just get the ''compassionate'' posters. You''d also attract those who thrive on kicking people when they''re down. The ''drive by accident scene looky loos'' who crave drama. You''d miss the middle-of-the-road folks. The ones who might click on something unawares but happy to offer support or advice once touched or moved by a certain situation. But who DIDN''T sit down at the computer looking for ''sob stories'' to weigh in on. It becomes like ''community service duty'' rather than something more organic.

Just my opinion. And its not one that''s particularly easy to share -- because it doesn''t cast me in an angelic light, yanno? But I''d bet I speak for the silent majority. Who might be less likely to put themselves out there so nakedly. Maybe?

I never thought of this....

 

[Lynn B]

Date: 8/27/2009 2:08:09 PM
Author: decodelighted


HOWEVER ... overall those threads my get significantly less traffic than they would mixed in with the ''general population'' of Family threads or Hangout threads or whatever. Its math not magic, yanno? And you wouldn''t just get the ''compassionate'' posters. You''d also attract those who thrive on kicking people when they''re down. The ''drive by accident scene looky loos'' who crave drama. You''d miss the middle-of-the-road folks. The ones who might click on something unawares but happy to offer support or advice once touched or moved by a certain situation. But who DIDN''T sit down at the computer looking for ''sob stories'' to weigh in on. It becomes like ''community service duty'' rather than something more organic.

Yeah, there is that!

Good points, deco.

Which kinda brings it all back to what I was thinking about above... the whole sub-forum/divisions thing, etc.

I think it could get very easy to get sub-forum crazeee

and have a neat and tidy specific sub-forum for every possible topic. But unfortunately life isn''t generally that neat and tidy, and many (most?) of our life situations WILL overlap one another, and sometimes quite contarily at that!

Hmmmm? I wonder if *less* subforums might be better than *more*? Yes, it would make for longer, more diversely populated forums, but really, is that a bad thing? I don''t know, I''m just thinking out loud.

One of the forums I hang out on has the *main* forum, devoted to the subject at hand (Ragdoll cats!

), but then there''s a sub-forum called "Coffee House" (basically like our Hangout, FHH, HL, ATW, Library and Shopping all kinda rolled into one) and then there''s "The Chapel" where people go for what I think sounds like Maisie''s suggestion... people looking for help, support, etc., during a time of (any kind of) difficulty. And it seems to work well over there, but granted, that site is not nearly as busy or heavily populated as PS.

Well... I''m sure Andrey and Ali are checking out lots of other forums, too, to gather ideas before they decide which direction to ultimately take PS.
And I am excited to be a part of the journey there!

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 8/27/2009 5:04:39 PM
Author: Lynn B


Yeah, there is that!

Good points, deco.


Which kinda brings it all back to what I was thinking about above... the whole sub-forum/divisions thing, etc.


I think it could get very easy to get sub-forum crazeee

and have a neat and tidy specific sub-forum for every possible topic. But unfortunately life isn't generally that neat and tidy, and many (most?) of our life situations WILL overlap one another, and sometimes quite contarily at that!

Hmmmm? I wonder if *less* subforums might be better than *more*? Yes, it would make for longer, more diversely populated forums, but really, is that a bad thing? I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud.

Well... I'm sure Andrey and Ali are checking out lots of other forums, too, to gather ideas before they decide which direction to ultimately take PS.

And I am excited to be a part of the journey there!

I've been thinking the same thing, Lynn... I think the PS community might be becoming a little more fragmented with all the "stage of life" specialty forums. I know I "belong" in a family and home forum (who doesn't?) but I feel like a lurker in "newlyweds" or on the PG etc. threads, even though there are posters on there that I miss or who I'd probably enjoy getting to know. I do sometimes "lurk" in the BWW forum even though I'm not a bride. I think the forum -- and the brides -- benefited from having a wide variety of people (not just other brides) providing input. (And no, I'm definitely not suggesting that I had any special wisdom to share.

) That may be one of the factors that helps keep it from getting as nasty as people say the knot forums can be. I'm wondering if there will be less cross-pollination as we get more niche forums.

So... can we have an AARP-eligibles forum?

J/K

 

[TravelingGal]

I definitely don''t think we need fragmenting. Although I don''t seek these support type threads out, sometimes I do click on them and follow a few stories here and there. I''m not the type to look for sad threads around PS, but I do like they are in hangout. Plus I don''t know how many people would actually want to post in an emotional support area.

 

[Maisie]

I still think its a good idea. For the few that have posted here saying they don''t like the idea, there could be 100 who would appreciate an area like that.

 

[Lynn B]

Date: 8/29/2009 7:24:21 AM

Author: Maisie
I still think its a good idea. For the few that have posted here saying they don''t like the idea, there could be 100 who would appreciate an area like that.

Absolutely, Maisie! And everyone''s ideas and suggestions have equal validity and importance and need to be respected.

(Besides, that''s the fun thing about opinions, they are like noses -- we all have them!

)

And for the folks who would like that type of forum, I hope we get it.

But in the end -- whatever Ali and Andrey decide on -- we''ll support and make work!

 

[klewis]

There is an amazing level of emotional support given to members who request or need it in other forums on PS, it''s one of the great features of Pricescope, but I don''t think we need a forum devoted to it.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 8/27/2009 1:43:55 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
This is true. It reminds me of a particular posting from a regular member...she was announcing a sad event in her life--seeking some emotional support, but also ended up getting some amazing advice which will hopefully help her in the future. I think it is that story and others like it, that would benefit from a special section. We need to remember, life is messy--bad things happen, and the longer you're a member of this site the more invested you become...you have you 'friends' here and people care-- so I believe it's only natural to offer a huge hug when things are upside down for a person, and a little side dish from the outside looking in.

I think I may know who you are speaking of.

I think this is a great idea Maisy. My only concern is there are those who don't so much want to give out hugs and "it will be fine(s)" then those support seekers get a nice lashing from posters who prey on the soft hearted...only makes the support seeker feel less supported.