Engagement announcements on Facebook

[wwmd8118]

I know this may sound like a silly post, but it was something I was thinking about last night while I was suffering from severe LIW-itis insomnia (BTW does anyone else deal with this?? Laying awake thinking about the ring, proposal, aftermath, wedding, etc.? OMG I feel like it ruins at least one night's sleep a week!).

I was wondering if after the proposal happens and you've told your friends and family in whichever manner you choose, do you ladies plan to post an engagement announcement on facebook, or will you just change your relationship status and move on? If you plan on posting a status update, what would you say? And, would you post the ring picture? I think it's interesting to hear different people's opinions on this topic. I was reading a blog on a magazine's website yesterday debating this issue, and it got my wheels turning.

On one hand, I've been waiting for this day for so long, and I feel like when it happens, I want to scream it from the mountain tops, so OF COURSE I'll post some type of announcement on FB (after I call my family and closest friends, that is). But on the other hand, is that offensive to those people out there still waiting for their special day or who haven't found the right guy (or girl) yet? I wonder...

And lastly, I don't think I'll post a ring pic. I think I'll text it to my closest friends if they want to see (which they better ) but I'll leave a little mystery when it comes to the social network.

What do you guys think?

 

[wakingdreams53]

I just got invited to a wedding yesterday over FacebookIM, I didn't even know the girl was engaged, but then after going to her page I saw her outpour of congratulations and changed relationship status.

It all boils down to your relationship. Yes, others will be awaiting a proposal from their SOs when your SO finally pops the question-- that's never going to change. EVER. You can't feel "bad" for everyone because this should be joyous. Should you be considerate of other LIWs and not flaunt the ring, etc., certainly, but I think that a fb announcement (after personally telling your closest) has become perfectly acceptable in todays societal norms.

And LOL, yes, I don't think you're the only one with LIW-itis insomnia. I had an awful wedding dream last night, myself,

 

[amc80]

But on the other hand, is that offensive to those people out there still waiting for their special day or who haven't found the right guy (or girl) yet? I wonder...

No, unless you're saying "I am engaged! Thank GOD because being single sucks, as does the waiting to be engaged. Yay for not having to wait any more!!"

That would be obnoxious. But you are perfectly free to share your happy news.

There was a thread on here a few months back about whether or not it's tacky to post ring pics on fb. I don't really have a problem with it, mainly because most of my friends live hours away, and they would want to see it. Some people feel strongly against it, however.

But yes, I plan on posting on fb. Not sure how I will do it. Part of me just wants to change my status to engaged and wait for people to notice. But I'm also the person who would just wear my ring to work and wait for people to see it, rather than tell anyone...or when I get pregnant, just not tell anyone at work and let the rumors start as to whether or not I'm just getting fat.

 

[blacksand]

I figure I'll call our families. I'm still not sure if I'll call all of our friends or just send out a mass e-mail. It's just so many people to call, and if I call x, I have to call y, etc., etc. until suddenly I have 400 calls to make. I am thinking an e-mail would make things easier. Keep the calls to just relatives (I have plenty of relatives to keep me busy). Then after a day or so (or 5 mins., depending on how excited I am/impatient I am feeling), I'll probably update my relationship status on facebook. My boyfriend (fiance, then!) will roll his eyes and ask me if he really has to accept the new relationship status right now and remind me how silly facebook is. Then I will say "yes, you do have to accept the new relationship status right now," and he will roll his eyes again and then he'll do it. Voila! Once that's up, I may post a status update along the lines of "blacksand is engaged!", but nothing too fancy. Whatever. The changed relationship status is probably enough in and of itself. Then a bunch of weird people I haven't talked to since grade school will congratulate me. I don't really care about that part. My boyfriend is right, facebook is pretty silly. But it's still exciting to change your relationship status. It feels official, somehow. I will not post pictures of the ring anywhere except here. It's okay here because you don't know me, but anywhere else, it seems showy and obnoxious. I think it's tacky, but I guess I'm old school, since pretty much all of my recently engaged friends have indeed posted pictures of their rings. Different strokes, I guess. I don't judge my friends for doing that, but I wouldn't, nor would I post pictures of any other expensive worldly possessions on facebook. Anyone who would like to see the ring will have to visit with me, I suppose. Bonus: I get to visit with friends!

 

[kelpie]

I called my mom and she chose to post it as formal as you as on FB "Mr and Ms X are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter, Kelpie to Future Mr Kelpie" and included the one pic she had of us together from my sister's wedding 6 years prior when we'd just started dating. It was pretty tasteful as far as facebook goes....

I obviously love seeing other people's rings but I would never post it myself...don't want to seem like you're bragging.

 

[Blackpaw]

Im definitely in the no ring pictures on FB camp, i think its tacky. and im on the fence about posting at all. or even updating status (which to me may as well be posting). but then if you dont people will think thats weird too. Bleh, FB annoys me these days!

 

[amc80]

I could do without posting a pic...and I might not even post one at first. But I know my friends will ask me to post one.

 

[MayFlowers]

Part of me just wants to change my status to engaged and wait for people to notice. But I'm also the person who would just wear my ring to work and wait for people to see it, rather than tell anyone...or when I get pregnant, just not tell anyone at work and let the rumors start as to whether or not I'm just getting fat.

I am so the type of person to do this! I've actually thought about it many times. But, I will probably give in to the excitement and scream I'm engaged from the roof tops like Monica on Friends! (Just kidding of course. I just love that show!)

Yes I will change my relationship status on FB. Like blacksand said, it makes it feel official. However, I won't do it until after I have called my family and closest friends. I will probably post one picture of my ring, mostly because my friends will bug me forever if I don't. I will NOT make it my profile picture. I think that's a bit much for my taste.

Oh and I definitely suffer from LIW insomnia. I start trying to fall asleep and start thinking about BF proposing. Then I get all excited and can't sleep!

 

[wwmd8118]

I called my mom and she chose to post it as formal as you as on FB "Mr and Ms X are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter, Kelpie to Future Mr Kelpie" and included the one pic she had of us together from my sister's wedding 6 years prior when we'd just started dating. It was pretty tasteful as far as facebook goes....

This made me laugh out loud! That's very funny and very cute. I love Mom posts on FB.

Oh and I definitely suffer from LIW insomnia. I start trying to fall asleep and start thinking about BF proposing. Then I get all excited and can't sleep!

This is exactly what I do! I start thinking about the proposal and then I'm so excited that I end up awake half the night. It's ok when I have nothing important going on today but not today when the alarm went off at 6am.

It's so nice to hear that I'm not the only one who thinks about these things. I know it's pretty silly, but I still can't help it. I agree that posting a status update can be done in a tasteful way, and I'd just like to make sure I do that.

 

[piggies]

Go for it and post all your excitement because, darn it, it's really frickin exciting! Right after I got engaged, I called everyone in my immediate family starting with my mom and then mass-texted my closest friends. And then the next morning made a FB annoucement and changed my status all in one. We were on vacation so no one would have known for another whole week otherwise!
And about the ring picture thing, I admit it- I LOVE seeing at my friends' rings on FB especially if they are too far too see in person. That said, I didn't want to post my own when the time came. But my fiance foiled that plan when he made an album of our trip and engagement (including a close-up hand shot with us holding hands) and tagged me in it. Thought about untagging myself, but eh, who am I to ruin his fun when he's so darn proud of himself

 

[briolette]

It really depends on you! Some people in you Flist will find it tacky and some will merely be happy for you. If FB is a main means of communication amongst your social circle, I see no problem with it at all. Besides, it's happy news. You're not dumping someone on FB.

 

[purselover]

But on the other hand, is that offensive to those people out there still waiting for their special day or who haven't found the right guy (or girl) yet? I wonder...

No, unless you're saying "I am engaged! Thank GOD because being single sucks, as does the waiting to be engaged. Yay for not having to wait any more!!"

That would be obnoxious. But you are perfectly free to share your happy news.

There was a thread on here a few months back about whether or not it's tacky to post ring pics on fb. I don't really have a problem with it, mainly because most of my friends live hours away, and they would want to see it. Some people feel strongly against it, however.

But yes, I plan on posting on fb. Not sure how I will do it. Part of me just wants to change my status to engaged and wait for people to notice. But I'm also the person who would just wear my ring to work and wait for people to see it, rather than tell anyone...or when I get pregnant, just not tell anyone at work and let the rumors start as to whether or not I'm just getting fat.

This was was me...I'm a very private person and it took me a week to tell anyone at work, but then I felt bad because I could see they were a little hurt it took me so long to tell them. I never even changed my status from in a relationship until after the wedding when I changed it to married. I just didn't want to deal with all the congratulations and people prying about details. I'm an odd duck indeed.

 

[DuckLovingVegan]

I plan on posting something on fb and changing my status. I do plan on posting ring pics but that's only because my family lives four hours away. I don't know how long it will be before I would see them again. I do plan on restricting those pictures so that only my family and close friends can see.

 

[TwinkleStar]

I've thought of this, too! LIW-itis everywhere

I like the idea of calling family and close friends, so that they don't just find out about it on facebook with your 1,000 other friends / colleagues / acquaintances. One of my friends got engaged but set their feed to not broadcast to their entire list, so eventually people only found out because their mutual friends would hear about it and comment on their page. They are generally not into the hoopla of this stuff, so they made it facebook-official, but quietly.

I'm torn about posting a pic of the ring. I also LOVE seeing other people's rings, and they just make me swoon, because they are all gorgeous in their own way, not to mention the sentiment behind it. I'm just not sure if I want to draw any unnecessary attention to myself that way. I've also had friends who have posted pics of their ring, then removed them after a while for whatever reason. I had another friend who posted kind of a dirty picture but the ring was on full display, so there's that, too.

 

[iugurl]

When I got engaged, I honestly can't remember if I made a post that said "I'm engaged!" or not. I know I at least changed my relationship status. I don't think either is tacky. I don't really understand how saying you are engaged COULD be tacky, unless as a previous poster said it said something like, "I'm engaged. Whew single = sucks."

Now the ring pic, I can kind of see how people may think it is tacky. I personally don't. I love looking at people's rings! I love seeing HS friend's rings that I would never see in person since they live far away.

 

[kateydid05]

I think that once I call or get in touch with my family and close friends I'll just change my relationship status and be done with it. I'm not the type of person who would broadcast that. I have seen some FB friends change the relationship status, post a status in all caps, and change their profile picture to their ring, and then blast fiance/fiancee all over the place...that's not for me.

Posting a ring pic? Definitely not for me either. People will naturally be curious but if you are close to me then you will see it in person. If my family that lives far away wants to see it, I can email a picture to them. There are friends I have who are friends with people I can't stand and it's one of those things where it's other people being nosy or some people may want to see ring pictures so they can make a judgment on it, I don't know. That's just me though...I'm rather private. If i'm in public and people notice it, that's fine. If they don't, that's fine too.

 

[shihtzulover]

My fiance and I got engaged 3 1/2 months ago. I actually thought that I wouldn't be able to wait to post for more than a couple of hours (I'm a major facebook addict), but when the time came, I was fine with waiting for awhile. We ended up waiting about a week before we mentioned it on facebook, because we wanted to be able to tell some of our family members ourselves, and it took awhile for us to be able to contact them.

When we did make our announcement, we changed our relationship statuses to 'engaged', and also wrote something in our status boxes. I posted a picture of us together as well, and another of the ring, but the vast majority of my friends do the same. I have heard some people say that none of their friends post ring pics, though, so it might be a regional thing or something.

 

[AdanaEsq]

I would probably change my status and post something like "Just call me Claire Huxtable" it's an inside joke between a few friends and family members that my SO and I will be the real life Huxtables from the Cosby show (he's in med school, I'm a lawyer). I might post a picture. I definitely wouldn't consider it bragging. I'm also a fan of seeing people's rings, hence my membership here in pricescope. I have a lot of friends all over the country and also in other countries so I know a lot of them would not get to see the ring in person. I could always email the pics to people who want to see it but that's a decision I'll have to make once he actually proposes.

 

[Autumnovember]

I went back in my posts to see what I wrote. I changed my relationship status to "engaged" and posted a status that said "Happy " Thats it. No ring pictures, I'm not into that at all. I come here to share all my pictures.

 

[Diamond.Lover]

I don't even have "in a relationship" on my profile so, no, I wont be posting that I'm engaged. We're both exceptionally private people and keep things very quiet. The things that happen in our lives stay pretty much between the two of us and those that are absolutely closest to us.

 

[kittybean]

When we got engaged almost three years ago, I posted a couple pictures from our engagement trip, including a blurry shot of my ring right after I put it on for the first time, a few days after we were engaged. My friends live all over the world, so it was fun to share that with all of them as everyone was asking what the ring and the proposal were like. I also changed my relationship status, which definitely made it feel very "official."

 

[inflorescence]

I would only change my status on facebook. I would only change my status after him and I both told the important people in our lives directly....That seems to be the typical trend with my friends too. Some will post engagement photos months later. Only one girl I know has posted pictures of the ring.

 

[inflorescence]

But on the other hand, is that offensive to those people out there still waiting for their special day or who haven't found the right guy (or girl) yet? I wonder...

...or when I get pregnant, just not tell anyone at work and let the rumors start as to whether or not I'm just getting fat.

HAHAHAHA!!! I would do the same at work, I'm only about 100 pounds now so when I do become pregnant it wouldn't take long for rumors to start... have to have some level of entertainment

 

[amc80]

I'm living this now so I thought I'd tell you what I ended up doing. I got engaged last Wednesday. The save the dates were done and went in the mail that night. I waited until Monday to change my status. I didn't post any ring pictures. But, people have started asking. They are actually wondering why I haven't posted one yet. So I'll probably do that today.

 

[Glitz]

Almost 6 years later and we finally just updated our statuses to "In a Relationship"! You should have seen all the comments we got, like "really, I thought you were just roomates" and "Get out! when did this happen" lol. When we get engaged we'll probably tell all our close family and friends in person or by phone depending on distance, then wait about a week to update our FB statues. I'll probably write a sweet status to go along with it, but nothing overly sappy.

As for pictures I won't be posting one of just my ring or any kind of close up detail photos of it, thats what PS is for. I'm sure there will be some nice engagement photos that will have my ring in the picture, and those might go onto facebook in an album, but there's no way I'm changing my profile picture to a hand shot. I know about 3 girls that have done this, although I love looking at rings I feel like it would be very showy of me, especially since most of my friends/family have .5ct mall rings.

 

[asymons412]

My boyfriend and I are very tech-oriented (read: spend way too much time on the computer), and since we both live on the opposite side of the country (AZ) from where all of our friends and family live (NY), I will probably do the "engaged" relationship change, and maybe a quiet, happy little status. I will probably have to post a ring picture for my friends no matter what (but not a tacky one-- one of my recently engaged friends did a wrist/hand shot over some flowers that showed the ring in some detail but not a boastful close-up, and I really liked that idea); also, I keep a photoblog, so there will definitely be a few pictures there.

For those of us who are away from all of our loved-ones, facebook is really a great way to keep all of our close (and distant!) friends in the loop. I see no shame in it!