Engagement Presents for Men... Revisited

[sumbride]

I know there was an old thread on this, but thought I''d start this out fresh...

My BF and I have a smallish rowhouse and the living room has an exposed brick wall that is just "screaming for a plasma tv". We knew this before we even bought the house. Of course, after buying the house, the tv was just another thing we couldn''t afford. He also has a small den in the basement that is HIS space... beer fridge, futon, etc... where he spends his fall watching football. Since it''s such a small room, it would also benefit from a flat screen.

Yesterday, while shopping at BJ''s wholesale club, he was browsing the flat screens AGAIN. He said "maybe when we get married your parents will buy us one as a present?" I said "Yeah, like they''ll have any money left over after mom''s 300+ guest list!" (Her idea, NOT mine... i''m negotating...) So I was thinking maybe when he buys my ring, I can buy a tv. I didn''t mention it to him because I don''t want to commit to it since we don''t know how much of the wedding we''ll be paying for ourselves.

So should I buy one for the living room, where we watch tv together, or get one just for him, for the den, since the ring will be his present to me? I can''t afford both, obviously, but am really torn here. And i want it to be "A SURPRISE"... just like his proposal. I may let him pick the model since he''s letting me pick my ring though.

 

[ellewoods]

Hi Sumbride.

I think you should give him the gift of a plasma TV....but since its something that you''ll probably need his imput on (in terms of exact size, brand, etc.), give it to him via a beautiful card or something and tell him he can help pick it out. That way he can choose whether he wants it just for his room, or for the living room. You should be able to surprise him this way too, by wrapping up a picture of a plasma TV in a small box or something, so when he unwraps the gift he''ll have no idea it''s a TV (from the size of the box).

I''ve always thought I''d buy my fiance an engagement gift, and I plan on doing so in the form of a nice watch (Breitling, Rolex, Cartier etc.). He thinks this is a great idea and he''s the one who wants a watch. Since we just got engaged, I had to say "sorry babe but I won''t be able to get your gift for a while" and he pleasantly surprised me by telling me that "oh no, my engagement gift is supposed to come at the wedding, or rehersal dinner." Hooray, I''ve got some time to save and plan now.

 

[kcoursolle]

Ellwoods has a point on this one. My man desperately wants a plasma. He is equally obsessed with plasmas as I am with my ring. I once thought it would be pretty cool to buy him the tv of his dreams and surprise him. However, if he is as obsessed with the tv as I am with my ring...there''s no way I am going to get it just right without a lot of input from him about what he wants.

Unless you know exactly what kind of plasma he wants, or that he doesn''t care what kind, I would get him a big gift card or something like what ellwoods said. He is going to be floored either way!!!

 

[sumbride]

Thanks! If I give him the choice to pick what room it goes in, den vs. living room, do you think he''d feel pressured to pick the living room because that''s "our tv" vs. "his tv"? I wouldn''t want that to be the case, though I of course would love for it to be in the living room.

 

[bee*]

I would give him the plasma tv for his room I think. Seeing as he will give you a ring I think it''s nice to give him something back as a gift. My boyfriend wants a guitar whenever he pops the question but I wont be able to surprise him with it as he wants to pick it out himself!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

I''m considering getting my boy a pocket watch from Things Remembered, with our engagement date engraved on it. He doesn''t like the "constriction" of a watch on his wrist. I don''t know when you''re supposed to give it to them though, since engagements are supposed to be a surprise. I guess it comes after, but I don''t know how long after. No one I know has ever given an engagement present to her fiance, only presents on the wedding day. So I''m torn as to which to do.

 

[ephemery1]

My BF's friend's fiancee gave him a plasma TV as an engagement gift, so C has made it very clear he wants one too when the time comes!! But I'm okay with that, as it'll still only be a fraction of the cost of my ring, and I'll get to watch it too! I do occasionally threaten him that I'll make him wait for his TV as long as he made me wait for the ring... which he doesn't like.

But really, I think I'll wait until we're out of the city and in an actual house somewhere, rather than try and squeeze one into our smallish apartment... which gives me more time to save for it, thankfully!!

ETA: Sum, maybe give your BF the choice of where he would prefer it? He may be just as happy having it upstairs in the main room where you both can use it...

 

[sumbride]

I think I will probably give him the choice... he may really want it in the living room since he''ll be able to show it off more there.

I like the idea of a watch, I know that''s the "traditional" choice for this nontraditional concept, but I already gave him a nice watch for his 30th birthday last year, and he''s hard on watches so if I gave him something really expensive he''d probably be afraid to wear it. I love the idea of the pocket watch... so romantic... but my guy would never use it. The tv would be an everyday item. guess it''s my turn to start saving!!! Maybe I should wait until the wedding? hmm...

 

[ilovesparkles]

A couple things. THe first one being is there anyway to casually say if you had to pick a tv which one would you buy? Or would he totally pick the most outrageous one because its hypothetical? I also really like the idea of wrapping a picture. And if you are super creative you could make a "toy model" for him and wrap that. Out of like tac board or index cards.

Second, is there a way to make the choice really subtle and just say this is your tv. Don''t even say to put where you choose up or down stairs? And let him choose naturally?

 

[sumbride]

Hey Sparkles -

He''d probably pick a mid-range one... I''m better at electronic shopping than he is, and I could probably draft his best-bud to help me out, if I can trust him to keep a secret. It would be so cool to have it installed before he came home one day, after he proposes, and go "Ta-DA!" but that may not be practical. I think the one in the living room would probably need to be bigger than the one in the den, but I''m not sure.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Yeah that would be a cool tada moment! You know I was just dreaming up a completely ridiculous thing. Where you went shopping around and picked one for him and then made him wait just like you have to do you know. And then make some corny speech about "will you watch this tv with me as my husband" Like an engagement. Ok it sounds even stupider while typing it out! Pook

 

[sumbride]

Oh, Sparkles.... that''s really funny!!! Especially if I tell him about it but make him WAIT!!!! I may just use that idea! It''s corny enough to be something I thought of!

 

[anchor31]

Good idea, sumbride!!

I was going to give J the XBOX 360 he wanted, and the way I saw it was that this way we were both getting something we were excited about and we both had a bit of waiting to do... He ended up buying it for himself because he couldn''t wait, the little...

I was PISSED!!

We had a bit of an argument over that, but then agreed that I would pay for the e-ring setting and that he was not to take any unilateral decisions about my money ever again! It cost me about the same price his toy would have cost me, I think.

 

[ammayernyc]

I had some cufflinks made for my bf for his 30th birthday last year. When we get engaged I''m going to have the matching studs made.

 

[sumbride]

Yeah, Anchor, so J bought the 360 for himself because HE couldn''t wait, but if you had bought the e-ring for yourself and started wearing it around and saying "I''m engaged!" you probably would have gotten locked up, right??? So not fair! Especially since he knew that you were going to buy it for him.... You should have said "well, since you have this now, that means we''re engaged! where''s my ring???" Too late now, eh? Ha, that would have been good!

I was going to buy my guy a video ipod for his birthday, since he got me one for Christmas, but he couldn''t wait either and bought his own in Feb. Of course, I use mine everyday and he''s used his maybe twice. He COULD have waited but he didn''t want to. Silly boy.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 6/1/2006 10:02:07 AM
Author: AmandaPanda
I had some cufflinks made for my bf for his 30th birthday last year. When we get engaged I''m going to have the matching studs made.

That''s a cool idea Amanda! Especially since he can wear them at the wedding!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 6/1/2006 10:20:14 AM
Author: sumbride
Yeah, Anchor, so J bought the 360 for himself because HE couldn''t wait, but if you had bought the e-ring for yourself and started wearing it around and saying ''I''m engaged!'' you probably would have gotten locked up, right??? So not fair! Especially since he knew that you were going to buy it for him.... You should have said ''well, since you have this now, that means we''re engaged! where''s my ring???'' Too late now, eh? Ha, that would have been good!

I was going to buy my guy a video ipod for his birthday, since he got me one for Christmas, but he couldn''t wait either and bought his own in Feb. Of course, I use mine everyday and he''s used his maybe twice. He COULD have waited but he didn''t want to. Silly boy.

ACK! I soooo should have said that! But it''s fine now, he got to know how pissed I was!

And he did redeem himself by taking me shopping two weeks later and buying the most amazing ring and diamond in the world even if it was over his budget... Not to mention the matching band that we haven''t bought yet...

Men are like children I tell you. It''s funny for them to make us wait, but when it''s their turn... Nope, they can''t wait.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 6/1/2006 9:30:53 AM
Author: sumbride
Oh, Sparkles.... that''s really funny!!! Especially if I tell him about it but make him WAIT!!!! I may just use that idea! It''s corny enough to be something I thought of!

HAHAHA I say go for it!

 

[sumbride]

So he may be on to me, or I may just have the right idea... not sure which yet.

Saturday we were frantically cleaning the house in prep for a party that afternoon. He sits down on the couch and looks at the tv and says "sometimes I think we should just take on the debt and replace that with a flat screen." I just about choked. What? Did he see that I''d been emailing his buddy for help on it? Did he say something?!? I will SO kill his friend if he told him. But I played it off with "we''ll get there." He brought it up again about half an hour later and I said "Trust me. I have a plan," which were the exact words he said to ME when I mentioned engagement at the beginning of the year. I don''t think he caught it though, just said "I trust you."

A little while later our friends showed up. The guys left for a while, so I''m sitting there chatting with my girlfriends and mention what I want to do. They all thought it was an excellent idea. When the guys got back, his buddy (not the one I talked to) said "Man, why don''t you just go ahead and get the plasma tv?" His wife almost kicked him but I don''t think my guy saw it.

I really hope I can keep this quiet. It''s weird to be the one with the secret!!!

 

[ilovesparkles]

LOL thats funny! You can pull it off I am sure of it! Go Sum!

 

[Selkie]

Sounds like he''s getting obsessed with the flat screen TV idea! Give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe you could try being really discouraging, like "We really need to save money for our WEDDING, so why don''t we wait to get the TV?" "Oh, we REALLY can''t afford it right now, what with the RING and all" etc.

 

[sumbride]

oh, that''s good!!! I''ll give it a few days and drop that on him...

and Selkie, if we''re not engaged by the time I see you in July, we''ll have to come up with a plan to really taunt him! I''m looking forward to that!

 

[Selkie]

Date: 6/5/2006 4:01:59 PM
Author: sumbride
oh, that''s good!!! I''ll give it a few days and drop that on him...


and Selkie, if we''re not engaged by the time I see you in July, we''ll have to come up with a plan to really taunt him! I''m looking forward to that!

Hee hee! If you, Jen and I put our heads together, we could probably have him whimpering in a corner by the end of the visit. We wouldn''t want to be TOO mean, though.

 

[~*Alexis*~]

Ok well I know that this is an old post but i thought I would ressurect it. I need some help. It is out 1 1/2 year anniversary. I need some gift ideas. I know he bought me something with diamonds (ring???) Well, I bought him a ring too, but I kinda want to get him something to throw him off...lol..
any ideas??

 

[sumbride]

ah, my old thread!

We''ve never really been big on anniversary presents... a dinner here, flowers there, and always cards, but not stuff. Are you aiming for a big gift or a little gift?


On the tv note, I''m still having fun with it! He knows he''s getting it but I''ve asked him to be patient because I keep hearing reports that prices will drop 30% next year. That''s a lot! So he wants to go look at them this weekend and has sent me emails about price deals and such and when I said "you want it now, eh?" he says "I''m just giving you ideas... no pressure..." Funny, that sounds EXACTLY like what I said when I would send him pics of rings! It''s so much fun to have it be MY turn!