shape
carat
color
clarity

Engagement ring issue...

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

Laila619

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
11,676
Hi girls! I am super ecstatic to be engaged to my sweet fiance. I''m on cloud nine. Only one problem: I did not want a white gold engagement ring and I got one. I told my fiance once that I did not like white gold. Yet that''s what he picked. I don''t want to deal with white gold yellowing over time and have to get it re-dipped/plated. I also think I might be allergic to it because my finger is itchy and the jeweler said it could be because of the high nickel content in white gold. I have worn yellow gold all my life and never had any problems. I like the classic look of warm yellow gold better anyway.

So my question is, should I tell my fiance? He picked my ring all on his own and is soooo proud of it and himself. I do adore it, but I wish the band was yellow. Incidentally, the jeweler has the setting he picked for me in both yellow gold and white gold. So we could probably just switch it out. Should I say something to my fiance? I could keep the prongs white gold and perhaps have the band be yellow gold. But then the prongs could yellow over time once the rhodium plating wears off though, and they probably can''t be re-dipped. Or I could just live with the white gold and have it re-plated every year.

I don''t get why white gold is so popular, because it seems like a hassle to re-dip it!
 
I''d tell him, but don''t tell him you like it better, just tell him you think you''re allergic to the nickel, which is a very common allergy and would he might if you got the same setting (because you LOVE LOVE LOVE it of course
2.gif
and he did a FANTASTIC job) in yellow so your ring finger won''t be itchy?
 
Date: 6/10/2008 5:48:45 PM
Author:Laila619
Hi girls! I am super ecstatic to be engaged to my sweet fiance. I''m on cloud nine. Only one problem: I did not want a white gold engagement ring and I got one. I told my fiance once that I did not like white gold. Yet that''s what he picked. I don''t want to deal with white gold yellowing over time and have to get it re-dipped/plated. I also think I might be allergic to it because my finger is itchy and the jeweler said it could be because of the high nickel content in white gold. I have worn yellow gold all my life and never had any problems. I like the classic look of warm yellow gold better anyway.


So my question is, should I tell my fiance? He picked my ring all on his own and is soooo proud of it and himself. I do adore it, but I wish the band was yellow. Incidentally, the jeweler has the setting he picked for me in both yellow gold and white gold. So we could probably just switch it out. Should I say something to my fiance? I could keep the prongs white gold and perhaps have the band be yellow gold. But then the prongs could yellow over time once the rhodium plating wears off though, and they probably can''t be re-dipped. Or I could just live with the white gold and have it re-plated every year.


I don''t get why white gold is so popular, because it seems like a hassle to re-dip it!

There are a number of threads floating around on this issue. IMO, married life is going to be full of uncomfortable topics that are going to have to be broached, so this is as good a time as any to start :) I think if you keep the same setting and are just switching the color, it would be of very minimal offense. I could see more of a problem if you just hated the ring altogether... which many people do. So get him gassed up on how thrilled you are that he chose such a stunner of a rock and setting that suits you so well, AND DON''T SAY, "Well, I told you that I prefer yellow gold...", and ask his thoughts on your making a switch on the band color. Especially if you are having an allergic reaction, you have an easy card to play. I''m sure he would much rather you wear the ring, than not because of the metal!

good luck!
 
I would simply tell him that you love love love the ring but that you are allergic to white gold and you need the ring reset in yellow gold.
He can''t really argue with that.
2.gif
And it''s the plain and simple truth!
Plus it''s not like you are offending the design of the ring in any way, just changing the color due to an alergy issue.
He should understand and be fine.
 
I would tell him. Your excitement about the engagment comes through beautifully in your posts...I can only assume that your happiness is even more obvious in person. I don''t think he''ll doubt your happiness. It may be a little bit of a ego crush initially but a little bit of ego stroking will cure that right away.

Does he prefer white gold for his band?
 
You do have to tell him. I would be honest and say it may be irritating my skin, wg doesn''t match all my yg, etc. I''m with trillionare on this one. You ned to be able to communicate honestly about this as a start to your marriage.
Besides, if you aren''t super clear about not wanting wg, you may get future jewelry in it and you don''t want that
 
Date: 6/10/2008 5:57:09 PM
Author: neatfreak
I''d tell him, but don''t tell him you like it better, just tell him you think you''re allergic to the nickel, which is a very common allergy and would he might if you got the same setting (because you LOVE LOVE LOVE it of course
2.gif
and he did a FANTASTIC job) in yellow so your ring finger won''t be itchy?

Ditto. Seems simple enough-you''re allergic to it and the jeweler has the exact same setting in yellow gold. Plus you specifically told him you wanted yellow gold, not white gold! So I would just be casual about it and say "Hey, I''m allergic to white gold so I''m going to have to switch it to yellow gold, okay? Don''t worry-the jeweler has the exact same setting in yellow gold!"
 
Congrats on your engagement! I''m really sorry that you''re going through this with your ring. First I should say that white gold isn''t necessarily as bad as you might think: I''ve had my white gold ering for over a year and it''s still just as white as my wedding band, which is brand new (never worn yet). I can''t imagine I''ll need to redip it for another few years, if ever.

But...if you really do prefer yellow gold and simply cannot be happy with the white, then I would let him know, and see if you can''t just switch it out for the yellow gold at the jeweler. Then it''d be exactly what your fiance painstakingly chose for you...only a different color.
 
Yes tell him. The nice thing is that they have the exact setting in YG, so switch it out, and everyone is happy.
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Top