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Engagement ring upgrade nightmare

Nataleia91

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 24, 2021
Messages
20
Hello,
I really need some advice with this. I was 18 when my husband proposed and he was still in University. We just had our daughter and lived in Germany without our family. I got a 0.2 carat diamond but I loved it. Three years ago we moved to the USA after my husband was transferred as a scientist to lead a lab here. Everything went smooth but I lost my engagement ring. Two years ago we thought about buying a new one. The last three years we saved so much money each month because we wanted to buy our dream home with cash since you have to build credit in the states first. So our budget was limited. He bought me a ring for 3200 dollars. I knew he made a bad choice and the sales person told him it’s a great cut but the certificate is from GSI and doesn’t even state cut quality. It’s a 0.69 carat SI2 H color, no cut grading. Since a personal catastrophe hit us ( we lost our son through medical mistake) we didn’t do anything. We expected to at least be able to sell the ring later but now I’m not sure…
Now we have great credit, own our dream house without mortgage and are truly settled in the USA. Now my husband wants to buy me my dream ring. The whole experience was just so awful that I’m not sure about anything anymore with diamonds. And I still really want to sell the old one. I think it was a rip off kinda.
I know I want a bigger stone this time. 1.50 carat at least. My husband said we can go up to 3 if I want. I’ve waited for this for so long and it’s supposed to be the symbol of the fact that we made it and are finally home. We renew our vows with all our wonderful friends just like we couldn’t when I was a teen mum.
But can I trust a jeweler again?
And is 3 carat too big? Is 1.5 carat enough to be happy for a long time? I know this ring pressures me at this point because it’s the symbol that I made the Right decisions and everything worked out despite being pregnant in Highschool.
And can I get rid of the old ring with those characteristics?
 
Welcome Nataleia91,

Congratulations on finally feeling settled here in the USA . With all the challenges you've put behind you now is the time to take a deep breath and enjoy the process of selecting a new diamond and setting to celebrate your relationship. You've come to the right place to learn about diamonds and how to select a good one. I suggest you start here (article linked below) to learn some basics about diamond selection then reach out with more questions as they come up.


You will have access to some of the best diamonds (and a lot of them) by buying online. The process is very safe if you use one of the Pricescope recommended vendors and you can even search for a diamond here from the homepage.

As far as selling your ring...you are likely to get far less than you paid. You can try selling it online through a place like www.loupetroop.com, or try selling it back to the jeweler who made it or selling it on consignment. Some people use their diamond to make a pendant or other jewelry for sentimental reasons.
 
Welcome Nataleia91,

Congratulations on finally feeling settled here in the USA . With all the challenges you've put behind you now is the time to take a deep breath and enjoy the process of selecting a new diamond and setting to celebrate your relationship. You've come to the right place to learn about diamonds and how to select a good one. I suggest you start here (article linked below) to learn some basics about diamond selection then reach out with more questions as they come up.


You will have access to some of the best diamonds (and a lot of them) by buying online. The process is very safe if you use one of the Pricescope recommended vendors and you can even search for a diamond here from the homepage.

As far as selling your ring...you are likely to get far less than you paid. You can try selling it online through a place like www.loupetroop.com, or try selling it back to the jeweler who made it or selling it on consignment. Some people use their diamond to make a pendant or other jewelry for sentimental reasons.

Thank you, you’re right I should enjoy the process. I should feel fortunate that we can do this. I’ll educate myself this time properly before the decision.
 
Welcome and congratulations on your achievements! I'm so sorry to hear you lost your son, no parent should ever have to go through that.

I'd check out Whiteflash, they are very reputable and have amazing ideal cut stones (A Cut Above) as well as a very generous upgrade policy. A 1.5ct is a nice size, but if you want "presence" and budget allows, I'd definitely go with at least 2ct. Many of us have DSS (diamond shrinkage syndrome) and over time your diamond may start to look smaller to you. You could just go with the 3ct to start!
 
Welcome and congratulations on your achievements! I'm so sorry to hear you lost your son, no parent should ever have to go through that.

I'd check out Whiteflash, they are very reputable and have amazing ideal cut stones (A Cut Above) as well as a very generous upgrade policy. A 1.5ct is a nice size, but if you want "presence" and budget allows, I'd definitely go with at least 2ct. Many of us have DSS (diamond shrinkage syndrome) and over time your diamond may start to look smaller to you. You could just go with the 3ct to start!

I’ll check them out, thanks. Shrinkage syndrome, lol. I think I could be a candidate to get that. I feel like this ring will be the symbol of our success despite being a teen mom back then, the proof we still made it. So maybe I’ll go over 2 carat…
Yes, no parent should lose a child. He was perfectly healthy but in the very late pregnancy they gave me wrong medication, putting me into a horrible situation. But we are happy that it made our marriage stronger since many don’t stay together after such a loss. It definitely reinforced that it was the right decision to keep our daughter even though I was still in school. You never know if you can have another one.
 
I’ll check them out, thanks. Shrinkage syndrome, lol. I think I could be a candidate to get that. I feel like this ring will be the symbol of our success despite being a teen mom back then, the proof we still made it. So maybe I’ll go over 2 carat…
Yes, no parent should lose a child. He was perfectly healthy but in the very late pregnancy they gave me wrong medication, putting me into a horrible situation. But we are happy that it made our marriage stronger since many don’t stay together after such a loss. It definitely reinforced that it was the right decision to keep our daughter even though I was still in school. You never know if you can have another one.

I love your positive outlook! You deserve the most fabulous ring possible! In terms of other specifications, it will depend on how color sensitive you are, but I would personally go no lower than H, VS, and faint florescence. Best of luck, can't wait to see what you get!
 
I love your positive outlook! You deserve the most fabulous ring possible! In terms of other specifications, it will depend on how color sensitive you are, but I would personally go no lower than H, VS, and faint florescence. Best of luck, can't wait to see what you get!

I will keep that in mind. Is Finger she something to consider? My left ring finger is 4.75.
 
Here is the relative size of a 1.5 and a 3 carat on a 4 3/4 finger. These are the default mm that pop up. They tend to be slightly
bigger than when you find a stone and enter the actual mm numbers for it.

Depending on where you live and what you're comfortable with either could work. How old is/are your kid(s)?

Add my congratulations for "making it"! My sincere condolences for your loss. Unfortunately, I can relate.:(2

snip 1.png
 
I'm so sorry about your son. It is a terrible loss.

As far as your existing diamond, I think putting it into a pendant is a good idea. If you try to sell it you will probably get much less than what you paid. As someone else said, you can certainly try selling it on Loupe troop or via another site, but be prepared to take quite a hit.

If you let folks on this site know your budget for a new stone they can point you to some beautiful diamonds. Without knowing your budget, it's hard to discuss size or other stats. Best of luck and enjoy the hunt.
 
Also, want to add that you are a good candidate for a super ideal vendor where you can keep trading up. That way, say if you go for the
1.5 carat and in a year or two decide you really want larger then you can easily upgrade (without losing any money).

Unfortunately, you probably wont get much money for your current ring. We usually suggest aiming for 70% and take 60% but
that's with a good lab.

IGI .69 stones H/SI 2 are running $1300-$1400 at James Allen. 60% of $1350 is $810...if you can find a buyer. Not really sure what
your setting looks like so cant really comment on that. Can you post any up-close pictures? A pendent would be a lovely way to
keep the stone and still be able to wear it.
 
Also, want to add that you are a good candidate for a super ideal vendor where you can keep trading up. That way, say if you go for the
1.5 carat and in a year or two decide you really want larger then you can easily upgrade (without losing any money).

Unfortunately, you probably wont get much money for your current ring. We usually suggest aiming for 70% and take 60% but
that's with a good lab.

IGI .69 stones H/SI 2 are running $1300-$1400 at James Allen. 60% of $1350 is $810...if you can find a buyer. Not really sure what
your setting looks like so cant really comment on that. Can you post any up-close pictures? A pendent would be a lovely way to
keep the stone and still be able to wear it.

I definitely vote this way as well. Go with a super ideal vendor like whiteflash or Wolf CBI so that you can start with something like a 1.5ct and then if it starts to look small (thanks to the dreaded DSS), you can upgrade without any monetary loss.

I also vote putting the original diamond into a pendant or something so that you can continue to have it/wear it. Sadly as others have said you wont get much $$ if you sell it, so it almost seems like more effort than is warranted.

Also I am so so sorry for your loss.
 
Also, want to add that you are a good candidate for a super ideal vendor where you can keep trading up. That way, say if you go for the
1.5 carat and in a year or two decide you really want larger then you can easily upgrade (without losing any money).

Unfortunately, you probably wont get much money for your current ring. We usually suggest aiming for 70% and take 60% but
that's with a good lab.

IGI .69 stones H/SI 2 are running $1300-$1400 at James Allen. 60% of $1350 is $810...if you can find a buyer. Not really sure what
your setting looks like so cant really comment on that. Can you post any up-close pictures? A pendent would be a lovely way to
keep the stone and still be able to wear it.

Thank you. I think it would be great to possibly upgrade again in the future. I’m still so young and who knows what I want in ten or twenty years.
I know I’d take a loss with selling my old ring. But it just reminds me of how much we overpaid and that it really gave my husband trust issues with buying luxury. He even doesn’t want to buy my handbags from fashionphile anymore and we live in a small town, so online is a must and I got many great deals there. And this ring is just the constant reminder of it. But it could be nice to have a classic pendant on a necklace.
I think we will have to go to some jewelers just to try sizes on me. I indeed have small fingers. Although my right hand is a 5 and my left is 4.75. weird.
 
I'm so sorry about your son. It is a terrible loss.

As far as your existing diamond, I think putting it into a pendant is a good idea. If you try to sell it you will probably get much less than what you paid. As someone else said, you can certainly try selling it on Loupe troop or via another site, but be prepared to take quite a hit.

If you let folks on this site know your budget for a new stone they can point you to some beautiful diamonds. Without knowing your budget, it's hard to discuss size or other stats. Best of luck and enjoy the hunt.

Is it fine to write a budget? We thought maybe 1 month of my husbands salary should be a fine estimate as a maximum. I know many people do two months salary but wearing a 28 thousand dollar ring already seems very extravagant to me. I thought about buying a lab grown stone but it’s also meant as an heirloom so maybe natural is the way to go.
 
Is it fine to write a budget? We thought maybe 1 month of my husbands salary should be a fine estimate as a maximum. I know many people do two months salary but wearing a 28 thousand dollar ring already seems very extravagant to me. I thought about buying a lab grown stone but it’s also meant as an heirloom so maybe natural is the way to go.

No problem to put budget info. Folks here do it all the time. That way we can make some suggestions
 
Here is the relative size of a 1.5 and a 3 carat on a 4 3/4 finger. These are the default mm that pop up. They tend to be slightly
bigger than when you find a stone and enter the actual mm numbers for it.

Depending on where you live and what you're comfortable with either could work. How old is/are your kid(s)?

Add my congratulations for "making it"! My sincere condolences for your loss. Unfortunately, I can relate.:(2

snip 1.png

My daughter is twelve. I was in Highschool when I had her. But in the end we made it work. Everyone told us that I shouldn’t keep her but my heart said yes ( I know others make different choices but for me it was right). That’s why this ring is so important to me, it’s like my proof to show everyone that doubted I could do it that I did , lol.4625D26C-A036-4891-8C57-0BD4630BA213.jpeg
My old ring needs to be cleaned definitely.I’m an artist and get a lot of paint and clay on my hands.
It sparkles a lot more actually in real life.
 
No problem to put budget info. Folks here do it all the time. That way we can make some suggestions

That’s great. I’ve been so humble the last years while saving money and now everything changed so quickly. It’s crazy. Three years ago I’d have said that I don’t even want such an expensive ring but now I see the value it can have to us as a couple and family. Even my husband said he wants to show that he appreciates my patience so much and that I trusted him to move continents again and start almost fresh.
 
welcome @Nataleia91
im so sorry you lost your son

I think you are a very brave person, being a teen mum, getting married, moving countries

You have this !
And i enjoy watching as you select your new ER
its a pity about the loss of your first much loved ring and the 2nd one not being that great a buy

but this is a new ring and it sounds like you have both worked hard creating a new life in America together so you deserve to enjoy the experience of the hunt for the new ring

I too like the idea of repurposing the old ring into a pendent, we all make mistakes while we learn at everything
If you could love it as a pendent i think that is preferable to losing a large amount of money
Remember most people out there do not know a nice diamond from an awsome diamond and it might make a lovelly daily wear pendent

Good luck
 
4625D26C-A036-4891-8C57-0BD4630BA213.jpeg
My old ring needs to be cleaned definitely.I’m an artist and get a lot of paint and clay on my hands.
It sparkles a lot more actually in real life.
The fact you said this makes me think a pendent is a good idea - because you like it enough to point this out to us

Perhaps a future present for your daughter even
 
A
The fact you said this makes me think a pendent is a good idea - because you like it enough to point this out to us

Perhaps a future present for your daughter even

you Are Right, I don’t hate it and I’d be less bitter about it if we hadn’t overpaid for it. But you point out correctly that most people wouldn’t know a good diamond from a bad one. And it’s a decent size for a pendant.
my daughter is already twelve and time flies so maybe it’s a Great gift for her quinceañera in a few years.
 
A


you Are Right, I don’t hate it and I’d be less bitter about it if we hadn’t overpaid for it. But you point out correctly that most people wouldn’t know a good diamond from a bad one. And it’s a decent size for a pendant.
my daughter is already twelve and time flies so maybe it’s a Great gift for her quinceañera in a few years.

I think we would be hard pressed to find even a single person on PS who has not at some stage overpaid for a piece of jewlery
I have made a ton of mistakes that would add up to way much more than i would want to acknowledge
But needless to say i could have had a really nice PS quality sparkler with what i had spent down the mall:boohoo:

But we just have to learn from it and move on and your soon to be no -doubt-drop-dead-gorgeous:kiss2: new ER will do this for you =)2
I think giving the diamond in a pendent to your daughter might just enable you to make peace with it =)2
 
Welcome to PriceScope, @Nataleia91 !

So very sorry to hear of your devastating loss.

It is so refreshing to read about your climb back to success through all the hardship and struggle... truly, an inspiration that many can relate to.

Many great suggestions have been mentioned so far!

The most renown sellers that offer super ideal cut diamonds and have a great lifetime upgrade program are:

Whiteflash
WolfCBI
Victor Canera
Brian Gavin

Bryan (Texas Leaguer) of Whiteflash, Wink of WolfCBI, and Victor Canera are here on the forum (maybe Brian Gavin is, too, but I'm not sure of his username), so you came to the right place to start this wonderful new journey and get one of the best precision cut diamonds in existence...I'm not exaggerating!
 
so if we are looking at a $28,000 budget then we can help you find a beautiful diamond at your price point, but you should also start learning about color and clarity tolerance. Many people would be happy with an H eye clean Si1 or VS2, some would go down lower in color to an I or J and others who are color sensitive, would want a higher color like an F. If you are in small town, there may not be any jewelers who can give you a stone to look at that will compare with an ideal cut stone, which will look whiter for it's color grade than an less than ideal cut stone. And considering your past experience with diamonds, it doesn't sound like "mind clean" meaning inclusions that you cannot really see but still don't want them to exist, will be an issue for you, although that's just a guess on my part.

This is a nice one, under budget so leaves plenty of room for a setting but is an I, so if a bit of tint bothers you, it might be a bit warm

This is not an ACA but an "expert selection" which is just a tiny step down from and ACA and should be eye clean and and bit whiter than the one above, and larger. Still has the same upgrade options of an ACA

Given your finger size, anything at around 2 cts or over will look large, especially if you are in a smaller town and it is one where people don't wear larger diamonds. Not sure if that is your town or not.
 
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Lots of good advice.
some other considerations….
Seeing as you are unlikely to receive much back for your original ring, maybe turn it into a pendant. That’s a good wardrobe staple.
Also, have you looked at other shapes rather than round. I personally found that it was emerald cut that spoke to me. Princess cut btw is a bit out of fashion right now but many still love the shape. The shape that looks “biggest” for carat weight is the marquis cut.
And finally, while you do your research on diamonds, consider buying a 2 carat and/or 3 carat CZ ring to see how the size works for you.
3 carats is pretty big, on a slimmer finger a 2 or 2.5 carat might look better and be more practical to wear.
I know people who got huge diamonds but don’t wear them, they feel self conscious / it gets in the way. That’s silly, buy something you can and will wear all the time. No point have pretties stuck in the drawer or safe!
 
Congratulations on the fun opportunity you have to buy a pretty ring. I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. Am happy to hear your daughter might get to wear your current pretty diamond, even if it was a little overpriced. I think the idea of teen-mom-did-well-in-life is kicka$$ and hopefully we can find you the awesomest diamond out there.

You can’t go wrong with a super ideal round cut. But it will cost you and you will have to sacrifice something — better to sacrifice size than quality. However, 1.5 cts is not small even in the U.S. and especially on a lady with size 4.5 to 5 fingers. You can order cheap CZ rings off of Amazon to get a sense of size. Just FYI $28k probably would not buy you a high quality 3 ct.

Like someone else asked, do you know for sure you want round? An oval with a halo would look huge. An emerald cut would look super elegant. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.
 
Congratulations on the fun opportunity you have to buy a pretty ring. I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. Am happy to hear your daughter might get to wear your current pretty diamond, even if it was a little overpriced. I think the idea of teen-mom-did-well-in-life is kicka$$ and hopefully we can find you the awesomest diamond out there.

You can’t go wrong with a super ideal round cut. But it will cost you and you will have to sacrifice something — better to sacrifice size than quality. However, 1.5 cts is not small even in the U.S. and especially on a lady with size 4.5 to 5 fingers. You can order cheap CZ rings off of Amazon to get a sense of size. Just FYI $28k probably would not buy you a high quality 3 ct.

Like someone else asked, do you know for sure you want round? An oval with a halo would look huge. An emerald cut would look super elegant. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

Oh, I actually think I don’t want a round one. I want an elongated cushion, radiant or emerald. I love ovals and pears but my husband doesn’t. My husband just picked a round one last time.
And I don’t think I want a halo. I’m a solitaire person I think. Im not tied down with price, but maybe I gotta ease into wearing something so expensive. We will go to the jewelers we have around our area today and try on a few sizes and styles. I also thought about buying a Simulant ring and wear a few days just to get a feeling.
 
so if we are looking at a $28,000 budget then we can help you find a beautiful diamond at your price point, but you should also start learning about color and clarity tolerance. Many people would be happy with an H eye clean Si1 or VS2, some would go down lower in color to an I or J and others who are color sensitive, would want a higher color like an F. If you are in small town, there may not be any jewelers who can give you a stone to look at that will compare with an ideal cut stone, which will look whiter for it's color grade than an less than ideal cut stone. And considering your past experience with diamonds, it doesn't sound like "mind clean" meaning inclusions that you cannot really see but still don't want them to exist, will be an issue for you, although that's just a guess on my part.

This is a nice one, under budget so leaves plenty of room for a setting but is an I, so if a bit of tint bothers you, it might be a bit warm

This is not an ACA but an "expert selection" which is just a tiny step down from and ACA and should be eye clean and and bit whiter than the one above, and larger. Still has the same upgrade options of an ACA

Given your finger size, anything at around 2 cts or over will look large, especially if you are in a smaller town and it is one where people don't wear larger diamonds. Not sure if that is your town or not.

I will go for a yellow gold setting so maybe color can be a bit less than I thought. We have Kay’s and Zales around here so probably they won’t have such stones but at least I can get an idea on size and style.
Im thinking elongated cushion, radiant, maybe emerald. I’d say one carat is average for the younger ladies in my neighborhood and 1.5 for 40 and above. I know two ladies that went much bigger though. We basically don’t have any crime thankfully. But at some point I will be with my in laws in San Isidro in Guatemala and the people there definitely love bigger stones. I wish I could go to a jeweler there but it’s not possible for me to fly atm. I’m researching everything now and already got a better understanding of diamonds. I would not have made the mistake of my old ring with my knowledge today. In Germany that’s called „Lehrgeld“, basically teaching money.
 
Lots of good advice.
some other considerations….
Seeing as you are unlikely to receive much back for your original ring, maybe turn it into a pendant. That’s a good wardrobe staple.
Also, have you looked at other shapes rather than round. I personally found that it was emerald cut that spoke to me. Princess cut btw is a bit out of fashion right now but many still love the shape. The shape that looks “biggest” for carat weight is the marquis cut.
And finally, while you do your research on diamonds, consider buying a 2 carat and/or 3 carat CZ ring to see how the size works for you.
3 carats is pretty big, on a slimmer finger a 2 or 2.5 carat might look better and be more practical to wear.
I know people who got huge diamonds but don’t wear them, they feel self conscious / it gets in the way. That’s silly, buy something you can and will wear all the time. No point have pretties stuck in the drawer or safe!

I’d never have guessed that marquis looks biggest. I won’t go for round this time. I like the longer square shapes. Princess cut doesn’t look good on me but I’ll test some radiant and emeralds today. I think it’s Right That a too big ring won’t get as much wear. Also I’m horseback riding a lot and it can’t get in the way in that situation.
 
I'm thinking elongated cushion, radiant, maybe emerald.

This sounds like a perfect match for Jon (Rhino) at Distinctive Gem!





DG has a plethora of unique cuts, as well as a custom cut service and Jon offers a free diamond concierge service.
 
Welcome! I'm soo sorry for your loss. I love the August Vintage Cushion 1.5 carats @DejaWiz posted above as it's simply beautiful and you're getting an ideal cut cushion at a great price. Have fun with the process.
 
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