Ering vs. RHRs... do you have "rules"??

[msop04]

Some want a big flashy halo for both, some reserve the "flash" for a RHR... others just don't care ("bling is bling")...

I'm definitely a "one-ring-to-rule-them-all" (ORTRTA) gal when it comes to my engagement ring. Also, I always want my ering to be the star, and I'd gladly sell every piece of jewelry I own, as well as my soul (kidding! - sort of...), for a big honkin' diamond for my ering and call it a day!

It seems that if I'm wearing a RHR that even remotely "competes" with my diamond, I'm constantly comparing and second guessing. I don't know if being left-handed has something to do with it or not (is this even a thing, or am I only trying to justify my insanity over this??)... or maybe it's comments by friends/coworkers/etc... but I just can't deal if I feel like my RHR outshines my wedding set.

I recently purchased a faint brown OEC that I wanted for a "neutral" and warmer RHR. DK made the most stunning airline halo for it, and I can't imagine another setting that could possibly show off its beauty more than this setting. It's seriously perfection.

...but then I start the comparisons with my ering, and I'm inside my head. Although my soli is 9.8 mm and the OEC is 7.7 mm, the airline halo adds a lot for a total of 12.9 mm of real estate. Clearly, my diamond is significantly larger -- I know that. But the fact that the RHR is flashier (halo) and larger overall is really bugging me... I haven't been wearing it. At all... and it's making me sad. I just can't seem stop the comparisons and feeling like my ering is playing second fiddle. Crazy, right?? Pretty darn good problem to have, yes?? I mean, WTH is wrong with meeeeee???!!!

I'm almost embarrassed to post this, because it sounds like such a ridiculous first world problem -- or even worse, not a problem at all, and I'm just a complete freakazoid.

Does anyone else have rules and/or struggle with some sort of delicate "Ering vs. RHR" balance... or is it just me and my crazy?

 

[december-fire]

Well, if you're crazy, at least you're not alone!

For some reason, I feel that its OK to go really blingy on the 'wedding' finger, and that other rings would be less so. My feelings only about what I'd be comfortable wearing. Not a rule or anything that I think anyone should follow! Each person should wear what they love and enjoy, and feels right to them.

That being said, a gorgeous ring like your RHR needs to live and breathe!
It can't be sitting neglected!
So, I will offer up myself to wear one of your rings, either beauty, so that you will no longer be dealing with this dilemma.

You're welcome.

Or, would you want to try switching on which hand you wear your rings?

 

[msop04]

Well, if you're crazy, at least you're not alone!

For some reason, I feel that its OK to go really blingy on the 'wedding' finger, and that other rings would be less so. My feelings only about what I'd be comfortable wearing. Not a rule or anything that I think anyone should follow! Each person should wear what they love and enjoy, and feels right to them.

That being said, a gorgeous ring like your RHR needs to live and breathe!
It can't be sitting neglected!
So, I will offer up myself to wear one of your rings, either beauty, so that you will no longer be dealing with this dilemma.

You're welcome.

Or, would you want to try switching on which hand you wear your rings?

OMG, thank you so much for this reply, @december-fire!! It makes me feel so much better to know I'm not alone... I know my new RHR needs to be worn, and that's why this is all so frustrating to me.

Switching hands isn't an option -- I'll know the truth!! HA!! Thanks again!!

 

[missy]

Hi msop04, you're certainly not crazy and I feel your pain. I am a(n) ORRTA sorta of girl also.

In theory I love more rings but in reality I basically only wear Bea and a WB or 2 with her depending on the temp to keep her fitting comfortably.

I recently bought a gorgeous antique cluster ring to wear on my right hand and while I wear it occasionally I probably shouldn't have bought it as I prefer wearing just Bea. If we have a special evening out I will wear my Cartier Black Opal on my right hand and Bea on the left but generally it's just Bea.

All this to say I get what you are saying and yes some of us are similar. We prefer one ring to rule them all and while variety is nice occasionally my preference is generally simple and classic and one ring on my left hand.

There is no wrong or right here. It is what makes you feel good. Hope you figure it out and do what feels best for you. Don't worry about what others might or might not think. It doesn't matter. If you love the new ring and enjoy wearing it when you do great. No one says you have to wear your right hand rings all the time. Sometimes occasionally is enough. Good luck and enjoy!

Attaching 2 pics. First one to show them together because I cannot take selfie pics on both hands haha. I don't wear it like that because it does take away attention from Bea. Too much going on for my taste with both of them on the same hand.




And last one showing how I wear it if I wear it. On right hand index.

 

[DAF]

RHR cannot outshine ER. My one and only rule. Up to my interpretation, of course.

 

[msop04]

Hi msop04, you're certainly not crazy and I feel your pain. I am a(n) ORRTA sorta of girl also.

In theory I love more rings but in reality I basically only wear Bea and a WB or 2 with her depending on the temp to keep her fitting comfortably.

I recently bought a gorgeous antique cluster ring to wear on my right hand and while I wear it occasionally I probably shouldn't have bought it as I prefer wearing just Bea. If we have a special evening out I will wear my Cartier Black Opal on my right hand and Bea on the left but generally it's just Bea.

All this to say I get what you are saying and yes some of us are similar. We prefer one ring to rule them all and while variety is nice occasionally my preference is generally simple and classic and one ring on my left hand.

There is no wrong or right here. It is what makes you feel good. Hope you figure it out and do what feels best for you. Don't worry about what others might or might not think. It doesn't matter. If you love the new ring and enjoy wearing it when you do great. No one says you have to wear your right hand rings all the time. Sometimes occasionally is enough. Good luck and enjoy!

Attaching 2 pics. First one to show them together because I cannot take selfie pics on both hands haha. I don't wear it like that because it does take away attention from Bea. Too much going on for my taste with both of them on the same hand.




And last one showing how I wear it if I wear it. On right hand index.

Thanks, @missy... I really appreciate that! It really sucks to have a ring that is so perfect in every way, but then find you're choosing not to wear it. I wear my wedding set all the time, only switching out bands occasionally (although I've found I like the way it looks with my platinum tri-wire band best). I still wear my gray spinel three stone as well, but feel bad for not wearing the new OEC halo... I'm going to give it some time to see if I start wearing it though -- it's just too fab to sit in my dresser all the time.

 

[december-fire]

OMG, thank you so much for this reply, @december-fire!! It makes me feel so much better to know I'm not alone... I know my new RHR needs to be worn, and that's why this is all so frustrating to me.

Switching hands isn't an option -- I'll know the truth!! HA!! Thanks again!!

For a brief, wonderful moment, I thought you were thanking me for the offer and would soon make arrangements for me to care for one of your beautiful rings.

 

[msop04]

RHR cannot outshine ER. My one and only rule. Up to my interpretation, of course.

THANK YOU, @DAF!! I'm so glad others feel this way too!!!! ...until I look at my new RHR, and then it's just bittersweet.

 

[msop04]

For a brief, wonderful moment, I thought you were thanking me for the offer and would soon make arrangements for me to care for one of your beautiful rings.

I'd love to send it to you to wear... I have no doubt it would be well-cared for!! ...but then I'd have to set up a time-share of sorts with @Niel and a few others, and my bank account would ridicule me! HA!

 

[Slickk]

I agree with all of these responses. I need the ering to outshine everything I am wearing, even pendants or earrings. I also hate to have jewelry sit unworn. Your new ring is truly fabulous and what a shame to have it sit...perhaps I could offer up a ring finger! Haha!
I do think the elaborate setting of the oec is what is so striking to others and compared to your beautiful soli, draws more attention because of the uniqueness and details. I am older now and don't really give a damn what others think and wouldn't give a thought to that.
Sit with it a while before deciding what to do. Wouldn't want sellers remorse. I don't think it's a silly problem either. At least not for pricescope. Lol

 

[doberman]

I used to have "rules" - D color diamond on the left hand, colored gemstone or lower color diamond.on the right. But after getting my last ring that all went out the window. I've been wearing the fancy yellow as an e-ring, I like it so much.

 

[msop04]

I agree with all of these responses. I need the ering to outshine everything I am wearing, even pendants or earrings. I also hate to have jewelry sit unworn. Your new ring is truly fabulous and what a shame to have it sit...perhaps I could offer up a ring finger! Haha!
I do think the elaborate setting of the oec is what is so striking to others and compared to your beautiful soli, draws more attention because of the uniqueness and details. I am older now and don't really give a damn what others think and wouldn't give a thought to that.
Sit with it a while before deciding what to do. Wouldn't want sellers remorse. I don't think it's a silly problem either. At least not for pricescope. Lol

I think you hit the nail on the head with the bolded comment... it's the style, but mainly the SIZE. I'll definitely sleep on it (for several nights) before I decide to do anything I'll regret. Thanks for your response -- it really does make me feel better!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I certainly wouldn't want my right hand ring to have a larger diamond than my e-ring. Your e-ring diamond is significantly larger and whiter than the diamond in your new RHR. In my opinion, it doesn't begin to compete with your e-ring even though it has a halo. I am being honest. I can maybe see it if the RHR had a white diamond and halo, but it doesn't. So in my opinion, I would have zero issues wearing that ring on my RH and I have a smaller solitaire e-ring than you do!

 

[dk168]

I don't have a E-ring or wedding set to wear on my left hand, and normally wear a CS or pearl ring on that hand.
My mum gave me her 2 diamond rings.
One was 6-stone carre cut channel set band that I turned into a bracelet that I wear all the time.
The other is a near 1.9ct MRB in a simple 4-prong setting that I am going to set into an interchangeable pendant or brooch setting, as it cannot compete with my 1.19ct EC that is my forever RHR in terms of affection and fondness.
DK

 

[Dancing Fire]

Ok ladies... here are the basic rules again.

for a RHR...up to 75% of your e-ring carat weight "center stone".
for earring studs .....75% ctw of your e-ring "center stone".
for solitaire pendant .....50% the weight of your e-ring "center stone"
for bracelet.....3 X the weight of your e-ring "center stone"

 

[msop04]

I used to have "rules" - D color diamond on the left hand, colored gemstone or lower color diamond.on the right. But after getting my last ring that all went out the window. I've been wearing the fancy yellow as an e-ring, I like it so much.

I wish my rules would go out the window!! I LOVE this RHR... time will tell. Thanks, @doberman!

 

[msop04]

I don't have a E-ring or wedding set to wear on my left hand, and normally wear a CS or pearl ring on that hand.
My mum gave me her 2 diamond rings.
One was 6-stone carre cut channel set band that I turned into a bracelet that I wear all the time.
The other is a near 1.9ct MRB in a simple 4-prong setting that I am going to set into an interchangeable pendant or brooch setting, as it cannot compete with my 1.19ct EC that is my forever RHR in terms of affection and fondness.
DK

That sounds like a sensible plan to me, @dk168!

 

[msop04]

Ok ladies... here are the basic rules again.

for a RHR...up to 75% of your e-ring carat weight "center stone".
for earring studs .....75% ctw of your e-ring "center stone".
for solitaire pendant .....50% the weight of your e-ring "center stone"
for bracelet.....3 X the weight of your e-ring "center stone"

...but when the RHR has a halo, all that changes! HA! Thanks, @Dancing Fire!

 

[Dancing Fire]

couple more basic rules, if you live in a $500k home..

you can buy a car up to $45k= 9% of your home value.
you can buy a E-ring up to $50k = 10% of your home value.

 

[msop04]

I certainly wouldn't want my right hand ring to have a larger diamond than my e-ring. Your e-ring diamond is significantly larger and whiter than the diamond in your new RHR. In my opinion, it doesn't begin to compete with your e-ring even though it has a halo. I am being honest. I can maybe see it if the RHR had a white diamond and halo, but it doesn't. So in my opinion, I would have zero issues wearing that ring on my RH and I have a smaller solitaire e-ring than you do!

Thanks, @diamondseeker2006! I totally "get" everything you're saying, as it makes perfect sense... if only I could get my silly brain to accept it!

I've dressed in warmer colors to work several days this week with the intention of wearing it. I open my dresser, put on all my other jewelry, then put on the RHR. Then I immediately start doing the back and forth comparison and end up sighing, sadly taking it off, and letting it sit in my dresser yet another day. I didn't even wear it to church -- I wore the gray spinel three stone instead, even though it really didn't match the warm color of my dress like the OEC would have...

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Ok ladies... here are the basic rules again.

for a RHR...up to 75% of your e-ring carat weight "center stone".
for earring studs .....75% ctw of your e-ring "center stone".
for solitaire pendant .....50% the weight of your e-ring "center stone"
for bracelet.....3 X the weight of your e-ring "center stone"

Oh, DF, we have revised some of those rules!! The studs can have a total weight of up to 125% of the e-ring diamond! Like my new studs are each almost 1.3 and my e-ring diamond is 2.3. The studs are still much smaller visually. So raise your studs % a little! Then raise the pendant to 75%. You've gotta get up with the times!

 

[cflutist]

I think both of your rings are stunningly gorgeous... just wear them both and enjoy.

 

[motownmama]

This is complex for me. On an everyday basis I like to wear a band as my RHR - been wearing the Tiffany 7 stone I got in October for our anniversary. On my left I could wear with my 1ct solitaire with eternity band OR my 1-2-1ct three stone with sapphires and my etoile band. If I’m dressing waaaay up, I’ll sometimes wear a really large RHR - like my 7 ct Aqua. On my left I’ll stack 1-2 more with my 3-stone.
I agree with those who wouldn’t wear a bigger white diamond on my rhr vs my ER. I often wear my emerald in the diamond halo as a RHR. The circumstance is larger than my ER solitaire, but bc it’s a colored stone with halo I think it really balances out.

 

[msop04]

I think both of your rings are stunningly gorgeous... just wear them both and enjoy.

Thank you very much, @cflutist!

 

[msop04]

This is complex for me. On an everyday basis I like to wear a band as my RHR - been wearing the Tiffany 7 stone I got in October for our anniversary. On my left I could wear with my 1ct solitaire with eternity band OR my 1-2-1ct three stone with sapphires and my etoile band. If I’m dressing waaaay up, I’ll sometimes wear a really large RHR - like my 7 ct Aqua. On my left I’ll stack 1-2 more with my 3-stone.
I agree with those who wouldn’t wear a bigger white diamond on my rhr vs my ER. I often wear my emerald in the diamond halo as a RHR. The circumstance is larger than my ER solitaire, but bc it’s a colored stone with halo I think it really balances out.

I get you, @motownmama... I get you.

 

[yennyfire]

I certainly wouldn't want my right hand ring to have a larger diamond than my e-ring. Your e-ring diamond is significantly larger and whiter than the diamond in your new RHR. In my opinion, it doesn't begin to compete with your e-ring even though it has a halo. I am being honest. I can maybe see it if the RHR had a white diamond and halo, but it doesn't. So in my opinion, I would have zero issues wearing that ring on my RH and I have a smaller solitaire e-ring than you do!

THIS. I think it's like anything else in life. Once you start doing it and get used to it (one ring on each hand), it will become normal and you won't feel uncomfortable at all. When I first got Bertie, I felt like it was too much to wear her and my oval (Lucy) at the same time...and, I don't wear both of them on a daily basis, but for special occasions, I will wear both (proudly). I think you should just do it and, over time, it will become second nature.

 

[bludiva]

I actually think a larger, blingier ring looks more at home on the right and doesn't take anything away from the solitaire on the left.

Lol @december-fire for offering up her services

 

[Dizzie]

couple more basic rules, if you live in a $500k home..

you can buy a car up to $45k= 9% of your home value.
you can buy a E-ring up to $50k = 10% of your home value.

DF you make me laugh
You need to make a separate set of rules for europeans.

Based on your rules my e-ring should be 68x it’s value based on the current valuation of my home. I guess its‘ time to upgrade.

 

[msop04]

THIS. I think it's like anything else in life. Once you start doing it and get used to it (one ring on each hand), it will become normal and you won't feel uncomfortable at all. When I first got Bertie, I felt like it was too much to wear her and my oval (Lucy) at the same time...and, I don't wear both of them on a daily basis, but for special occasions, I will wear both (proudly). I think you should just do it and, over time, it will become second nature.

Okay, so I am going to take the advice from this thread and challenge myself to wear the halo every day that I work or get somewhat dressed. I'll report back with my findings. HA!

...did I really just say I'd challenge myself to wear a gorgeous ring?? Geeeezzzz...

 

[Dancing Fire]

DF you make me laugh
You need to make a separate set of rules for europeans.

Based on your rules my e-ring should be 68x it’s value based on the current valuation of my home. I guess its‘ time to upgrade.

IDK the European rules..