Every do anything heinous as an invited guest to a wedding?

[Siamese Kitty]

Hi BIWs! This thread about inviting a 16 yr old''s boyfriend to a wedding got me thinking... Have I ever done something heinous as an invited guest to a wedding?

I consider myself to be pretty on top of social graces and I''ve actually been pretty close to many the ladies/men whose weddings I''ve attended, but my answer is a shameful yes.

Case in point, one of my good friends got married last year, and while I think she knew I was coming, I only realized after I showed up that I had forgotten to RSVP!!!! Like I said, I worked with her, etc., but still! Man I was embarrassed. Worse yet, I brought it up to her on her wedding day. I felt awful after the wedding. Weddings can be a lot of pressure for guests, too, especially when they care about you and want to make sure they don''t inhibit the perfection of your day one bit. Anyway....am I alone here??? Anyone else have an unintentional, but still heinous, faux pas to share that they themselves have committed?

 

[Siamese Kitty]

uh...I think I meant EVER do anything...? oops hehe

 

[JessaJS]

I would say that it''s not entirely uncommon for people to forget to RSVP... I know that I have in the past!

 

[Scintillating]

I was in the bridal party of my uncle''s wedding when I was a teenager, I was maybe 16 years old at the time. I was so exhausted by the end of the wedding that I went back to my hotel room before the bride and groom made their exit. I still feel bad about it. I don''t know if anyone noticed, I hope not.

Scintillating...

 

[tanyak]

Date: 8/10/2006 4:00:33 PM
Author: Scintillating
I was in the bridal party of my uncle''s wedding when I was a teenager, I was maybe 16 years old at the time. I was so exhausted by the end of the wedding that I went back to my hotel room before the bride and groom made their exit. I still feel bad about it. I don''t know if anyone noticed, I hope not.

Scintillating...

Actually, I don''t think that''s bad. I''ve been to a lot of weddings lately, and the bride and groom don''t really make a big exit anymore. They stay to the end of the party. That''s what my FI and I plan to do. I totally don''t care if people leave before us.

 

[sumbride]

ummmm.... this JUST happened... and I didn''t mean ANYTHING by it... but at the wedding I just went to, somebody asked me if the mother of the groom and her brother were half-siblings because they don''t look anything alike. I''d been drinking too much wine and I said "No, they''re siblings, unless you believe the rumors...." I was totally kidding but my FI gave me a look because apparently there actually IS a rumor that they''re half-siblings because the mom was fooling around! OOPS!!! I hope I didn''t give away some big family secret! (Hangs head in shame...)

fortunately my FI "corrected" the story when he told his mom about it, leaving out what I said... we''re hoping everyone involved was drunk and it won''t get around....

 

[Tybee]

Oh man... mine still shames me. I still think about it and feel bad, but in a way there was little that I could do.

It was a very long time ago, when Tybee was MUCH younger, right out of college, so we''re talking like 1990 (yikes!)
In those days I was pretty poor.
Anyhow, a dear dear dear college friend was getting married in Richmond, VA (I live in Atlanta.) I was totally planning on attending and RSVP''d yes, etc. I planned on riding up with a friend (my car was a hunk of junk that wouldn''t have made a long distance trip.) Well, last minute, the friend decides to drive up a day earlier. I couldn''t get off work at that time and couldn''t ride with him. Other friends in town were bridesmaids and also going up earlier.

I really didn''t know what to do, I felt pretty ashamed of my situation, so I called my friend the day before her wedding and lied that I was too sick to come. Oh man. I''m still not sure why I lied. I wish that I had just explained the car situation. Well, to make a long story short, I was caught in my lie about being sick, it was pretty awful.
Our friendship sort of faded after that. I never really was able to make it clear to her that transportation was my issue, not sickness.

She''s still my friend, though I rarely see her or talk to her anymore, but to this day I WILL NOT LIE.
Not to anyone, not about anything. There''s too much to be lost, in my opinion. If I screw up, I admit it.
Nothing is as bad as getting caught in a lie.

Whew. Felt like confession

 

[fatafelice]

I am still very ashamed of this...

The summer after we graduated from college, an old friend of mine was getting married. We had been friends all through elementary, middle, and high school (with varying degrees of closeness) and had drifted apart in college. In fact, I was a little surprised (though very happy) to be invited to the wedding, which was taking place about two hours from my college. I behaved shamefully however after that. You could blame it on youth, but I blame it on stupidity and selfishness.

First of all, I called my friend''s mother and asked if I could bring my BF (now fiance) with me to the wedding. My justification for this was that I would be driving back in the dark on winding mountain roads and didn''t want to do so by myself. It was a buffet, so I convinced myself that I wasn''t really hurting anyone by adding another guest. Now I feel awful that I put her mother in that position -- what else was a very sweet and polite woman going to say to me? And at the wedding, no other girls from our high school who had come up had brought dates, so my BF really stuck out. I am sure everyone knew exactly what I had done. I can admit now that I was insecure about seeing people from high school whom I had never really fit in with, and that is why I convinced myself that my BF needed to come with me. But if I could go back in time, I would have just sucked it up.

To make matters worse, I didn''t research the directions well enough and it was raining on those curvy mountain roads -- and we ended up missing almost the entire ceremony and had to walk in and sit down while it was going on. I am so embarassed about the whole thing.

I did get to talk to my friend at the wedding and she sent a nice thank you note, but I haven''t heard from her since. I''m not sure if it is because of my rudeness or just a circumstance of growing up, but I have still wished many times that I had not been so immature.

 

[Kaylyn]

...

 

[Gypsy]

Not intentionally.

My cousin invited me VERBALLY-- through his mother-- who told my mother-- who said to me, "you are coming to X's wedding right, you'll be in town then." I ASSUMED that since my fiance and I were : engaged, living together... and HAD BEEN for 2 years... that he was invited. Turns out they were, "SHOCKED" that I brought him. I wouldn't have gone if I had known that he wasn't invited. Don't get me wrong, if I had been in CA without my fiance (the way I sometimes am) I would have gone solo. But we were out there together and my whole family knew it 2 months before (except my idiot cousin and his FI apparently-- not that I know for a fact it was an oversight-- just giving them the benifit of the doubt).

I did attend a wedding where the groom's father got drunk. And stripped. On the dance floor. Down to his underwear.

I kid you not. (FI's X-girlfriend's wedding...

)

 

[decodelighted]

Oh boy ... w/my wedding 2 months away ...not-so-Instant Karma is so, so gonna get me. I''m afraid I have a list of "bad behavior" and wedding gaffes.

1. Got irritable & "had words" with a hairstylist on the morning of one friend''s wedding ... in front of the Bride & the rest of the bridal party. Was passed off to another stylist & finally didn''t end up with a 50''s bouffant IN THE NINTIES.

2. Got tipsy & frustrated with the lack of single fellas to dance with HIT THE STREETS of a major town & brought back a British science journal editor I''d picked up ... who immediately got trashed & started hitting on the groom''s friends WIVES. Then, drunk me, refused to be the one to tell him to leave. (Like I was gonna be intimidating anyway?)

3. "Forgot" to have my bridesmaid dress altered and the lining had to be sliced open by a fellow bridesmaid''s mother MOMENTS before the ceremony because I''d "failed" to lose that last 10 lbs.

4. Used to "punch & cake" Southern weddings ... didn''t realize a friend''s reception was gonna be a five course extravaganza & STOPPED AT BOSTON MARKET for dinner ON THE WAY TO THE RECEPTION. My date & I were not only LATE .. but then had to awkwardly pretend to eat ALL NIGHT LONG.

Honestly, I don''t have the right to complain if someone sets my dress on FIRE!

 

[diamondfan]

When I was a lot younger, (20? I am 40 now ) I went alone to a wedding in San Diego. I lived in LA and drove alone down there, and only knew the bride from being in a pageant with her. She was lovely, and the guy, who was in the military, seemed nice enough. (they are long divorced though and I think she had to take her daughter and flee but that is another story!). I went to the rehearsal dinner and I felt very out of place and alone, and all the buddies were hanging and drinking. I had a boyfriend (I do not think he could come or was not invited, I do not recall now) and felt like an outsider with the group but my friend seemed glad to have me there on her team! I stayed at her house with her and her parents and we had a nice time when it was just the two of us. The next day, I went to the wedding and to the party. I did not know anyone, and some of guests were really getting rowdy. I was sitting all alone because I was pretty shy and just did not know how to approach the people my age. Suddenly I just had this overwhelming desire to be home. I told her mom I had a really bad headache (which I was starting to anyway) and I was going to be outside to get some air. I sat for a while and just decided to get in my car and go home. I figured she would not even notice me being gone in all the hubbub, and we had already eaten so I did not waste the cost of my food...and I really just felt oddball about it. Now I would never feel that way, I am not as shy now for the most part, but it was just so many factors and not knowing anyone made it hard. I lost track of her when they were first married and then I heard from her years later when she left him.

 

[Siamese Kitty]

I''m glad to hear I''m not alone!!! Everyone''s stories are so interesting

. Keep them coming!

 

[ivanadiamond]

I was the MOH at my girlfriends wedding in Hawaii. There weren''t that many people that stayed through the reception, her own parents left after the father/daughter dance because they had stomach issues (mom, dad & brother, strange I know). Anyway, I decided it would be a brilliant idea to go behind the bar and started making lots of shots and passing them around. I finally made my way close to the bride with a full tray of cosmo shots and spilled the ENTIRE tray on her dress....

Luckily for me and by the grace of God, it didn''t stain her dress at all. I don''t know how, but it just rolled off and it looked like nothing happened. But I just about died of shame and embarrassment. She was so sweet about the whole thing (probably because there was no stain) but I felt sick to the stomach about it...maybe from all the cosmo''s too

Hands down the worst story I heard though happened at a friends wedding. She decided to invite a girlfriend of hers at the very last minute and the girl brought a friend with her. They got loaded at the cocktail hour and when it came time to eat, they took turns sitting on eachothers laps and being obnoxious. Then when the gentleman next to them got up to use the restroom the univited guest sat in his chair and ate all his food. They then decided to go back to the bar and the invited girlfriend gets really sick and pukes all over the ice, glasses, alcohol, garnich, you name it she puked on it...they had to through everything out and people had to shlep to the hotel bar to get drinks. This girl pretty much ruined the wedding. Needless to say they aren''t friends anymore...

 

[flopkins]

interesting topic!!!

One thing I still feel bad about is my best friends'' wedding, I was MOH and I never got her a real wedding gift. Sigh. I can blame it on finances (they were pretty tight back then) but still, I think it was mostly ignorance, it was the first real wedding I''d been in, I felt like the wedding was expensive, and I made her veil as her gift, but I still feel like I could have at least given her a nice card or something. And, on top of that, when my wedding came around, she was MOH for me, I just told her and her DH to not get me anything, but still they spend SO much on my shower and bachelorette and everything... and they are in much worse finances than us...

Okay I am just babbling now.

The other story is sorta my DH''s story and although it really wasn''t anyone''s fault I still feel bad - he was invited (B-list - we knew bc the RSVP date on the card was before he got the invite) to an old college friends'' wedding, and it was just DH invited, they didn''t know we were engaged at the time, I think. Anyhow, DH made a call and they said it was fine Icould come, and then the week before the wedding my grandma passed, and we both went down to LA for the funeral, and missed the wedding anyway!! I felt like we really imposed on them and then last minute had to cancel again!

ooh and I just remembered I cancelled last minute on another friend of mine too, the week of, I really really wanted to go but it was two weeks before my quals exam and I was sooooo stressed out I just couldn''t bring myself to....

I guess I''m a big flake!

 

[JessaJS]

I am sitting at my desk at work eating some yogurt reading these stories (so productive, huh? haha) and was so engrossed in the stories that I didn''t notice when I dropped a big ol'' dollop of yogurt right on my desk. LOL

Anyway - great stories, everyone!! Funny stuff. At least we all are "offenders" which I hope will make me a little more understanding if this sort of thing comes up at my wedding. Or, it will at the very least, make me be much more vigilant about being a "good guest" in the future!

 

[MelissaSue]

Hmm.. I''ve not really done anything too awful.. I just have a tendency to get a little tooo drunk.. At my MOH''s wedding.. I spent just about the entire reception crying.. Happy tears, sappy tears, sad tears.. you name it.. And I spilled a glass of red wine on a table cloth (it was after dinner.. but still)..
My other BM''s wedding I was also a little too tipsy (it was a cash bar from when dinner started on, so I brought FOUR drinks to the table with me.. and then they had champagne service.. and I drank some other people''s champagne..lol).. but I don''t think I did anything too embarassing there.. aside from the massive drinking.. lol

 

[4bugzinarug]

Unfortunately, my worst wedding behavior happened in relation to my BF''s wedding. She and I have been joined at the hip since about 3 years old (still are, especially now that we both have kids!).

I was horrible about the bridesmaids dresses and accompanying gear. She wanted everyone to wear these atrocious peach lace chokers on their necks, with a satin rose glued to it. We all carried a miniature white lace fan with a single peach rose glued to the base, and the dresses were a really off shade of hunter green satin (imagine huge puffy 80''s style sleeves with extremely modest necklines and angle length). The only person I complained to was my family, but looking back on it I am sure my displeasure was known since my face hides NOTHING (bad, bad, bad!).

The night before the wedding, we were all supposed to have a bridesmaids/slumber party at her house, do nails, have fun, etc. Stopped at my boyfriends house along the way, had a horrible fight & we broke up (best thing that could have happened, but worst possible timing). Arrived at my BF''s house crying, did not go inside - was too upset to party. Apologized to her and her mother and went home.

Next day it could have been a funeral on my face instead of a wedding while walking down the isle (bad, BAD!). I was trying very hard to smile!

Another bridesmaid and I were supposed to take my car and follow the mother/father of the groom to the reception. Lost them accidentally at a light (that they ran through while red), and got lost on the way to the reception. Which delayed picture taking by one hour. Got out to fill up my car, my peach lace choker fell off and I didn''t even notice. Arrived at the reception and the mother of the groom chewed me a new one.

To this day, I feel TERRIBLE about that 24 hour period surrounding her wedding, but being the amazing friend that she always has been, she understood and did not hold anything against me. She and her mom were actually the ones to intervene when the MIL started ripping into me. We are still best friends, it''s been 30+ years of friendship, that doesn''t go away real easily!

I tried to do a gag gift in memory of the peach choker, I made an ENOURMOUS choker with 3" wide satin ribbon and 3 huge satin roses and presented it to her as her special thing to wear as the maid of honor. She took at, smiled and said THANK YOU IT''S BEAUTIFUL, and PUT IT ON with a smile on her face!! I still have the picture posted on my wall She is an amazing friend.

 

[ponderer]

I called the bride by the ex girlfriends name to her FACE! I was not drunk, but it was only the second time I had met her and she looked exactly like the ex girlfriend who the groom had dated for about five years. I tried to play it off, but it was still awkward.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 8/14/2006 8:06:44 PM
Author: ponderer
I called the bride by the ex girlfriends name to her FACE! I was not drunk, but it was only the second time I had met her and she looked exactly like the ex girlfriend who the groom had dated for about five years. I tried to play it off, but it was still awkward.

Ouch... looking just like his long-term ex is bad enough (can you say: fears of being a substitute?) but being accidentally called her name on your wedding day... if she noticed. Did she? Poor ponderer! You must have been horrified.

 

[ponderer]

I am not sure if she caught it and there was no way that I was going to apologize in case she didn''t hear me. My good friend was standing there and she didn''t hear me say it. I was too horrified to speak to the bride for the rest of the weekend.


Also, its funny how the groom saw no physical resemblance between the bride and the ex, it was pretty obvious to his closest friends and family who knew them both. I think he may have not seen the resemblance because personality wise they are very different; which of course is the more important thing.