falling in love with a dress

[litebrite]

My philosophy on bridal gowns is that I''d rather be cheap and put the money into the ring because I''ll wear the ring forever. So I''ve budgeted 500 and under for the dress (ideally 300 or less.)

I''ve tried on only about 12 dresses so far, and there have been 2 that stood out. 1 is a strapless champagne pink dress with bustles and beading on the bodice. Very princess-like, very much unlike what I thought I would wear or like. But I was surprised that I looked good, partially because I never thought I could pull off a strapless. (Being a short, pear-shape, I''m very conscious of my big booty and small chest. Eight years and 400 ice cream scoops ago, I used to be conscious of not having a butt. Oh well.)

Unfortunately I have scoured the web and am unable to find any photos of it since it''s from a previous season''s collection. It costs $650 and my plan was to get it as a discontinued sample sale for $325. For a few weeks, I''ve been looking for dresses like this, thinking that if I couldn''t get it for 325 I could get something else similar. My friend who went with me agreed it was gorgeous.

Then I went dress shopping by myself today. The Pronovias Lieja had clean lines, smooth, elegant, tank straps, evident boning that sucked my belly in and de-emphasized the hips, giving me a beautiful shape in ivory. It made my arms seem less fat too. No beading. For $1100. Subtle pick ups, and I looked as skinny as I did freshman year of college, but now with curves. Again, I was surprised. but maybe too plain? What if I lose interest in it?

So now I''m confused. I don''t have money in the budget to buy 2 dresses, and I need to move quickly if I''m going to buy the first. (The Pronovias is spring 07 so I have time to find a deal.) And part of me is now thinking, yeah, the dress is only for one day, but the photos are for forever. And why spend 2000 or more on photography if you don''t look your best?

On the other hand, I believe that what my partner said about rings applies here: if I keep on looking all over the place, I''m inevitably going to find something I like better. (Which is why I had to stop looking at rings on PS - I found myself lusting badly after Irina''s new design and we already paid off my custom ring.) And unlike rings, I don''t believe that there is ONE wedding dress only. But maybe I haven''t met the one dress? How do you know if you''re in love with the dress? Cos I think I''m willing to settle for a good dress at the right price. But I don''t want to change my mind a year from now before my wedding.

So I have to keep in mind: I have the one guy, and that''s what matters.

 

[FacetFire]

Have you looked at this site? www.preownedweddingdresses.com

It is great for saving a bunch of money on a nice dress.

 

[E B]

Your partner is absolutely right, and I think 'just looking' after buying a gown gets a lot of women into a two or three-dress situation.

You said the first dress made you look good and was in budget, but you'd have to move fast. How fast? Can you sleep on it for several more nights?

It is just a dress, and the most important thing is that it makes you feel and look good. Of course, there are other dresses out there that will make you look and feel just as good if not more, but you found one you love, in budget. I think the key is to stop looking and focus on the gown(s) you've found.

Good luck!

ETA: Do you know who makes the gown? Perhaps one of us could help you find a picture.

 

[starryeyed]

Hi litebrite!

I totally know what you're going through! A few weeks ago, I found myself visiting outlets and sample sales all over town for my July wedding. In order to "hold" one of these fabulous deals, I had to put down a non-refundable deposit. I wound up with deposits on THREE dresses at 3 different stores.

I think I did this because I was so delighted to find something that fit, that I liked, and at a great price. Two of the dresses weren't quite what I was looking for, but I felt I couldn't pass up the "deal". But when I saw the 3rd, I suspected it was "the one". It had all the elements I was looking for, looked great on, and was a great price.

That third salesperson told me, the fact that I was still looking meant I hadn't found my perfect dress. After I found the 3rd (and thought about it overnight) I didn't have any desire to keep looking. I dreamt about it even!

So my advice to you - don't buy a dress just because it's a great deal and looks good. Buy a dress that has everything you want. Do you want beading? Lace? Drop waist? Do you want something"bridal" or more "runway"? What material do you prefer? Train or no train? etc. Buy the dress that speaks to you. If you have any doubts, it's not your dress. Don't let salespeople pressure you - they are good at it!

You will have pictures of you in this dress for the rest of your life - make sure you love it!

 

[Hammurabi]

I wondered about the same thing when people told me that I would know when its the one. I tried on about 4 dresses before i ran into it.

The first 4 I tried on, there are two that look pretty on me, its like ''ohhh... didnt know i can look like that'' kinda feeling in a nice way. The other two were nice, but just average.

When I tried on the 5th (and the 6th, i fell in love with the 5th bodice and 6th skirt - they are made to measure gown, so if i had wanted they can do that for me). I looked at myself in the mirror, and I thought, ''OMG, this is IT!'' and then i looked at my MOH, her jaw dropped and said ''oh my god''. Well, I just knew, even though thats not what i thought i would wear, thats the dress that make me look gorgeous, feel gorgeous and i felt like a princess in it!

after that I tried on about 6 or 7 dresses (and purposely picked similar shape) and I just lost interest, i find myself keep comparing the dresses to THE ONE, and none can remotely compare (they are however pretty though, not ugly dresses at all).

Problem is I cannot justify paying over $4k USD for a dress I am going to wear for one day, and now the direction i am heading is a dressmaker, if that cant be done, well, i will just have to look for something else.

So, after me ranting on about my experience, all i want to say, is that you will know when you found the one, but if you still find yourself umming and ahhing over it and there are aspect of it you are unsure of, keep looking, dont rush in, because chances are your one is just around the corner!
good luck!

 

[Pandora II]

FSIL and I had the exact same idea...

But then we saw what you could get for $500 and what you could get for $1500.

Pronovias are gorgeous. Keep checking ebay and other sites would be my idea.

 

[peridot83]

I have no personal experience with wedding dress shopping, but I have a feeling its the same as when looking for your interview suit...

I would agree if you keep looking all over the place, you will keep seeing something better. The problem is that there''s a point where expensive dresses/clothing are ridiculous and not worth it...but that point is a long way off from $500. So if you do try on more expensive dresses, its more likely they will fit better, flow better, have more interesting detailing etc.

So you just have to figure out what your budget is, and only try dresses in that range and a little above (unless your dress budget has a lot of wiggle room). There''s no point in realizing that a Spring 07 Jim Hjelm fits you like a dream if you can''t afford it. The only exception isif you can afford tailoring, and so are just trying on dresses to figure out a pattern (however, tailoring, unless being done overseas, will cost more than $500).

My own personal opinion, is there is a "this is the one!" dress feeling within each budget range. Once you exhaust all dresses in your budget, you''ll know which one fits you the best.