Feeling a little down (not LIW related)

[fieryred33143]

This isn’t really a vent…more of a woe is me

I’ve always been a big girl, even in high school. But I try to work out and eat right. My best friend’s wedding is coming up and I’m her MOH. She chose a dress for me that I won’t feel 100% comfortable in because of my size but I love her dearly and she adores this dress. She feels that it was made for my body type. So I’m dedicated to push myself harder than ever before to lose weight and look good for her wedding (what better excuse to lose weight than the wedding of someone you love

). The biggest size of the dress is 12 and I need to lose about 20lbs to get to a 12. I figured with 5 months left for fittings (her wedding is in November), I can do it if I really tried (already signed up for spinning...first class is today

...and I bought a food journal).

But then the bad news…the dress is now only available in an 8. I can’t get to an 8. I can try to do one of those super mega crash diets but the reason why I’m still overweight is that those diets never work for me. She loves this dress and her bridesmaids can fit into them beautifully. I don’t know what to do. I’m wondering if maybe I can get the dress custom made but then I’m afraid the color will be off.

Now, I could probably just tell her that getting to an 8 isn''t something that I feel I can do but she really does love this dress. She went searching for the perfect bridesmaid dress and she chose this one. I would hate for her to change what she feels is perfect because of me.

Here’s a link to the dress. If anyone can find a similar color/style somewhere else I’ll be eternally grateful.

http://www.spiegel.com/shop/product_single.aspx?style_id=34669107&index=35&gp_coll_id=5001&gp_cat_id=5002&nav_cat_id=8392&category_id=10735

 

[Lauren8211]

I understand that the bride loves the dress, but she HAS to take into consideration her bridesmaids! Putting pressure on you to drop several dress sizes seems a bit bridezilla to me.

I would definitely express your concerns to her! Hopefully she''ll be very understanding. I know that I would. I can''t imagine ever asking one of my bridesmaids to starve themselves or try some dangerous crash diet to fit into a dress.
Good for you for attempting to lose weight -- but do it for YOU! Not just to make her happy!

When I''m bored at work, I''ll shop around and look for a similar dress for you somewhere!

 

[Anna0499]

Ahhh! Sorry to hear about your troubles. The dress is very cute, but it looks like a very uncomfortable and poor fit for many body types. I don''t know if super skinny girls would even look right in it, given the ample room for bust. I''m at work so I don''t have any suggestions for similar dress styles BUT since you are the MOH & not just another bridesmaid I think it would be perfectly feasible and acceptable for you to be in a completely different style of dress in a matching color than the other bridesmaids. (How many others are there?) Kind of like in My Best Friend''s Wedding, you know?

Good luck on losing weight, I am currently trying to work some sort of summer dieting/exercising into my routine, but I don''t have a wedding to attend or target weight/size...more like a healthier lifestyle goal.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/30/2008 10:48:44 AM
Author: IndyGirl22
Ahhh! Sorry to hear about your troubles. The dress is very cute, but it looks like a very uncomfortable and poor fit for many body types. I don''t know if super skinny girls would even look right in it, given the ample room for bust. I''m at work so I don''t have any suggestions for similar dress styles BUT since you are the MOH & not just another bridesmaid I think it would be perfectly feasible and acceptable for you to be in a completely different style of dress in a matching color than the other bridesmaids. (How many others are there?) Kind of like in My Best Friend''s Wedding, you know?

Good luck on losing weight, I am currently trying to work some sort of summer dieting/exercising into my routine, but I don''t have a wedding to attend or target weight/size...more like a healthier lifestyle goal.

Only two more, not a big party.

I definitely agree with you.
The reason why I haven’t really said anything is because she just recently went through Cancer and came out a survivor. She didn’t think she would be able to have her wedding so this wedding is extremely important and I want everything to go her way (even if it means she turns into a bridezilla which she hasn’t yet). I don''t know...I''m going to try to talk to her about changing the dresses without actually suggesting it. It''s a bit passive aggressive I know. And granted she did ask if I would feel comfortable in a strapless. I took some time to consider and decided that I would be (actually my boyfriend decided that I was ridiculous for thinking I wouldn''t look good in a strapless). We''ll see how it all works out.

 

[Patiently_Waiting]

I agree with what some others have said. Your friend should be a bit more understanding and not expect you to crash diet to try to fit into this dress. There are other options - getting a dress that is a similar/same color but different style that is more suited towards your body type. After all, you are the MOH and it isn''t unheard of for the MOH to have a different dress than the bridesmaids. Having always been on the bigger side myself, my advice to you is to lose the weight FOR YOU and to please do it the healthy way so that you can maintain it long term as more of a healthy lifestyle and not a diet. I''ve done the crash diet thing in my younger years and in the end, it never works out well. And you will probably ruin your metabolism in the process. I hope that you can work something out with your friend - keep us posted on what happens.

 

[decodelighted]

Has *anyone* actually tried on that dress?? It looks like a NIGHTMARE ... for EVERYONE!!! Seriously, you have no obligation to get down to a size eight. By November? That's insane! If you're the MOH, couldn't you have a different dress than the other maids ... I've seen that many times. It's rare to find a lineup of maids & MOH's that can all fit in the same dress. I don't care how much this bride "loves" this dress -- its simply not practical. I'd drop out of the wedding before agreeing to a crash diet for the next FIVE MONTHS

 

[Anna0499]

It sounds like you really have taken the MOH role seriously and don''t want to bring up any problems with the bride. That''s very sweet and I''m happy that her cancer isn''t keeping her from her wedding day/marriage. I would definitely say though, that this situation is much different than, i.e. not liking her dress selection and refusing to wear it. I think if you just tell her that the dress is only available in a size 8 she will get the hint that an alternative solution is needed. You two sound like good friends and I''m sure she would not want you to be uncomfortable. Don''t worry, that dress would be a hard fit for anyone!

 

[blondebunny]

Are you just going by what the website says they have in stock??? Have you tried to call them?? I know sometimes they just run out of stock for a little while, and it will come back in stock? I mean it said New?? So that would be weird that they only had a size 8. I would try to call the company to see if you could order the dress in a size 12, or if they still make it? It seemed like the black still had all the sizes, so maybe they just ran out of stock...

Spinning is a great way to exercise, I used to do it and loved it, I would wear long sleeve shirts to get a little extra sweat action going...and drink a TON of water...seriously...bring the biggest bottle you can find, you''ll need it...and 20lbs by November isnt that bad...but Goodluck, and try calling the company to see if you can order it through them on the phone and not online...

I hope everything turns out okay!!

 

[PostIt]

not sure if this will be helpful, but i found this in a quick search.
http://www.shop.com/Strapless_Tulip_Dress_by_Chase-92331153-p!.shtml

I think it''s appropriate for you to wear a different dress perhaps in the same color since you are the MOH.

BUT if you are spinning, you will be able to lose the weight. spinning is magic.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 6/30/2008 10:58:41 AM
Author: decodelighted
Has *anyone* actually tried on that dress?? It looks like a NIGHTMARE ... for EVERYONE!!! Seriously, you have no obligation to get down to a size eight. By November? That''s insane! If you''re the MOH, couldn''t you have a different dress than the other maids ... I''ve seen that many times. It''s rare to find a lineup of maids & MOH''s that can all fit in the same dress. I don''t care how much this bride ''loves'' this dress -- its simply not practical. I''d drop out of the wedding before agreeing to a crash diet for the next FIVE MONTHS

DIT-TO.

Apologies if I sound a bit unhinged in the rest of my post, but being overweight too and having had nightmarish bridesmaids dress issues in the past, it''s a bit of a hot topic with me.

This is NOTHING against you, my dear, but I think even losing 20 pounds to get into the size 12 (assuming it''s not cut small) is going to be tricky if you do it in a healthy way, which is what, a pound a week? And considering doing it an unhealthy way is scary because you''re talking about an awful long time to do a crash diet. There is NO WAY IN HELL, no matter how much I loved someone, I''d make myself feel so awful about my body (by the way, you aren''t ''big''--a size 12 is not now nor ever will be in my future but I would sing for joy if it was) for half a YEAR to HOPE that I could squeeze into a dress that''s a few sizes too small for just one day?!!

The only way to lose weight and stay motivated is for YOU, not for someone else, not to impress a dude or fit into a dress. Maybe you think right now you can keep it up for five months, but that''s a freakin'' long time, and I''ll bet anything that before the wedding you''ll start to resent your friend for putting you in this position. You''re the maid of honour. Tell her the dress doesn''t come in your size. You know how the salons always tell brides to order dresses at their current size, not their dream size, because 9 times out of 10 they don''t lose the weight they want to even though they have X months or even X years? Same situation here. You get a dress for the size you are, not what you hope to be after starving yourself for five months. Please just talk to her about it. If she''s as good a friend as you say, she should understand, and not want you to try to drop 3 dress sizes (or whatever it is from what you are now to the in 5 months.

 

[fieryred33143]

You are so right gwen. I dont want to do a crash diet either. I''m against them (that and pills especially). I haven''t spoken to her about it yet although we are exchanging emails. I think she wants me to try to get to the 8 (which if it were only 3 sizes to get down to, I would be thrilled LOL). But that''s an assumption.

Again, I guess I haven''t said anything to her because her wedding is really special to me. She deserves a perfect day after everything she''s been through. I''m going to wait this one out and see if by chance she''ll mention another dress. It''s weird because she and I can talk about anything, we always have even when we were harsh. But for some reason I''ve been keeping quiet about the wedding. There''s a lot she wants to do in very short time (hasn''t even booked the venue yet). To me weddings is one of those things where you just go along with what the bride wants. Hopefully it''ll all work out.

To be honest I''m a bit embarrassed about the whole thing. She and I started trying to lose weight together last year around July. I lost approx. 15lbs by New Years and was very proud of myself. She however lost 50lbs and while I was really happy for her because she looked fabulous, I didn''t like the way she did it. She joined Quick Weight Loss Center which shows you how to eat and places an emphasis on exercising but they make you take all kinds of pills. Regardless, she lost all the weight she wanted to and we were supposed to do it together...now, I''m no where near the goal I set for myself (although I haven''t gained the 15 back). I don''t know...we will see.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 6/30/2008 1:10:44 PM
Author: fieryred33143
You are so right gwen. I dont want to do a crash diet either. I''m against them (that and pills especially). I haven''t spoken to her about it yet although we are exchanging emails. I think she wants me to try to get to the 8 (which if it were only 3 sizes to get down to, I would be thrilled LOL). But that''s an assumption.


Again, I guess I haven''t said anything to her because her wedding is really special to me. She deserves a perfect day after everything she''s been through. I''m going to wait this one out and see if by chance she''ll mention another dress. It''s weird because she and I can talk about anything, we always have even when we were harsh. But for some reason I''ve been keeping quiet about the wedding. There''s a lot she wants to do in very short time (hasn''t even booked the venue yet). To me weddings is one of those things where you just go along with what the bride wants. Hopefully it''ll all work out.


To be honest I''m a bit embarrassed about the whole thing. She and I started trying to lose weight together last year around July. I lost approx. 15lbs by New Years and was very proud of myself. She however lost 50lbs and while I was really happy for her because she looked fabulous, I didn''t like the way she did it. She joined Quick Weight Loss Center which shows you how to eat and places an emphasis on exercising but they make you take all kinds of pills. Regardless, she lost all the weight she wanted to and we were supposed to do it together...now, I''m no where near the goal I set for myself (although I haven''t gained the 15 back). I don''t know...we will see.

Honey, you are a total sweetheart for not wanting to have to say ''no'' to your friend for anything wedding related...but that''s just not realistic. I mean, how extreme do you get? If you have dieted together, she knows you are not the size you want to be. And she is STILL thinking it''s reasonable to have you wear this dress? How can she look herself in the face in the mirror and know that she''s asked you to squeeze yourself into a dress that''s simply not your size when she knows you''re unhappy enough with your weight?! The idea makes me want to cry. Literally. It''s nine kinds of awful.

Please. Please, please, please, talk to her sooner, rather than later. The sooner you bring it up, the less shocked she''ll be when it comes up, and the more time you will have to find another dress. Ask her what it is about that dress that she loves so much (sorry, but I don''t think it''s going to look flattering on anyone--it looks like it''s cut to make even small people look like they have quarterback shoulders). See if you can find another dress that is similar but better, and that will fit. You''re the maid of honour, you can wear any dress you want, in any colour you want--you don''t have to match the other bridesmaids! I think if you don''t try to find an alternative dress, you will be consumed with dread about this wedding, because you are going to feel miserable about how you will look. I''ve been in your position. I know exactly how bad it is. Please don''t put it off. Just talk to her.

 

[Patiently_Waiting]

Date: 6/30/2008 1:20:52 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 6/30/2008 1:10:44 PM
Author: fieryred33143
You are so right gwen. I dont want to do a crash diet either. I''m against them (that and pills especially). I haven''t spoken to her about it yet although we are exchanging emails. I think she wants me to try to get to the 8 (which if it were only 3 sizes to get down to, I would be thrilled LOL). But that''s an assumption.


Again, I guess I haven''t said anything to her because her wedding is really special to me. She deserves a perfect day after everything she''s been through. I''m going to wait this one out and see if by chance she''ll mention another dress. It''s weird because she and I can talk about anything, we always have even when we were harsh. But for some reason I''ve been keeping quiet about the wedding. There''s a lot she wants to do in very short time (hasn''t even booked the venue yet). To me weddings is one of those things where you just go along with what the bride wants. Hopefully it''ll all work out.


To be honest I''m a bit embarrassed about the whole thing. She and I started trying to lose weight together last year around July. I lost approx. 15lbs by New Years and was very proud of myself. She however lost 50lbs and while I was really happy for her because she looked fabulous, I didn''t like the way she did it. She joined Quick Weight Loss Center which shows you how to eat and places an emphasis on exercising but they make you take all kinds of pills. Regardless, she lost all the weight she wanted to and we were supposed to do it together...now, I''m no where near the goal I set for myself (although I haven''t gained the 15 back). I don''t know...we will see.

Honey, you are a total sweetheart for not wanting to have to say ''no'' to your friend for anything wedding related...but that''s just not realistic. I mean, how extreme do you get? If you have dieted together, she knows you are not the size you want to be. And she is STILL thinking it''s reasonable to have you wear this dress? How can she look herself in the face in the mirror and know that she''s asked you to squeeze yourself into a dress that''s simply not your size when she knows you''re unhappy enough with your weight?! The idea makes me want to cry. Literally. It''s nine kinds of awful.

Please. Please, please, please, talk to her sooner, rather than later. The sooner you bring it up, the less shocked she''ll be when it comes up, and the more time you will have to find another dress. Ask her what it is about that dress that she loves so much (sorry, but I don''t think it''s going to look flattering on anyone--it looks like it''s cut to make even small people look like they have quarterback shoulders). See if you can find another dress that is similar but better, and that will fit. You''re the maid of honour, you can wear any dress you want, in any colour you want--you don''t have to match the other bridesmaids! I think if you don''t try to find an alternative dress, you will be consumed with dread about this wedding, because you are going to feel miserable about how you will look. I''ve been in your position. I know exactly how bad it is. Please don''t put it off. Just talk to her.

Ditto to everything Gwen said.

 

[purrfectpear]

Excuuuuuse me? Bride-to-be wrapped up in her planning, cancer survivor, or WHATEVER...what planet is she on?

If you need to lose 20# to fit into a size 12, then you''re already a very tight 14 or more likely a size 16 (nothing wrong with that either).

Who in their right mind would pick out a dress that comes in size 8 largest for a girlfriend that wears a 16

Honestly, she can''t possibly be that clueless can she

For those ladies who for some reason can''t relate as they are already an 8, please try to wear a size 0 by Thanksgiving

Tell your friend that weight loss for health is fine as a goal, but you are NOT going to be wearing that dress and she needs to choose something else for you.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/30/2008 4:11:41 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Excuuuuuse me? Bride-to-be wrapped up in her planning, cancer survivor, or WHATEVER...what planet is she on?

If you need to lose 20# to fit into a size 12, then you''re already a very tight 14 or more likely a size 16 (nothing wrong with that either).

Who in their right mind would pick out a dress that comes in size 8 largest for a girlfriend that wears a 16

Honestly, she can''t possibly be that clueless can she

For those ladies who for some reason can''t relate as they are already an 8, please try to wear a size 0 by Thanksgiving

Tell your friend that weight loss for health is fine as a goal, but you are NOT going to be wearing that dress and she needs to choose something else for you.

That is exactly right...a tight 14, solid 16. She hasn''t mentioned anything else about the dress or what she is going to do. We are supposed to meet up this week to go over some more details so I saved some photos of dresses that are the color and cut she likes but that would be a little bit more flattering (A LOT more flattering). I would still like to get to the 12 if I can in a healthy way. I think she''ll be fine with it...but in the 9 years I''ve known her she has never planned a wedding (LOL) so I have no idea what her wedding personality will be. So far she''s not being aggressive in the least bit but who knows. I''ll keep you all updated on how that convo goes.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 6/30/2008 10:58:41 AM
Author: decodelighted
Has *anyone* actually tried on that dress?? It looks like a NIGHTMARE ... for EVERYONE!!! Seriously, you have no obligation to get down to a size eight. By November? That''s insane! If you''re the MOH, couldn''t you have a different dress than the other maids ... I''ve seen that many times. It''s rare to find a lineup of maids & MOH''s that can all fit in the same dress. I don''t care how much this bride ''loves'' this dress -- its simply not practical. I''d drop out of the wedding before agreeing to a crash diet for the next FIVE MONTHS

AMEN AND DITTO!!!!!

 

[pocahontas]

Date: 6/30/2008 1:24:20 PM
Author: Patiently_Waiting

Date: 6/30/2008 1:20:52 PM

Author: gwendolyn

Date: 6/30/2008 1:10:44 PM

Author: fieryred33143

You are so right gwen. I dont want to do a crash diet either. I''m against them (that and pills especially). I haven''t spoken to her about it yet although we are exchanging emails. I think she wants me to try to get to the 8 (which if it were only 3 sizes to get down to, I would be thrilled LOL). But that''s an assumption.



Again, I guess I haven''t said anything to her because her wedding is really special to me. She deserves a perfect day after everything she''s been through. I''m going to wait this one out and see if by chance she''ll mention another dress. It''s weird because she and I can talk about anything, we always have even when we were harsh. But for some reason I''ve been keeping quiet about the wedding. There''s a lot she wants to do in very short time (hasn''t even booked the venue yet). To me weddings is one of those things where you just go along with what the bride wants. Hopefully it''ll all work out.



To be honest I''m a bit embarrassed about the whole thing. She and I started trying to lose weight together last year around July. I lost approx. 15lbs by New Years and was very proud of myself. She however lost 50lbs and while I was really happy for her because she looked fabulous, I didn''t like the way she did it. She joined Quick Weight Loss Center which shows you how to eat and places an emphasis on exercising but they make you take all kinds of pills. Regardless, she lost all the weight she wanted to and we were supposed to do it together...now, I''m no where near the goal I set for myself (although I haven''t gained the 15 back). I don''t know...we will see.

Honey, you are a total sweetheart for not wanting to have to say ''no'' to your friend for anything wedding related...but that''s just not realistic. I mean, how extreme do you get? If you have dieted together, she knows you are not the size you want to be. And she is STILL thinking it''s reasonable to have you wear this dress? How can she look herself in the face in the mirror and know that she''s asked you to squeeze yourself into a dress that''s simply not your size when she knows you''re unhappy enough with your weight?! The idea makes me want to cry. Literally. It''s nine kinds of awful.


Please. Please, please, please, talk to her sooner, rather than later. The sooner you bring it up, the less shocked she''ll be when it comes up, and the more time you will have to find another dress. Ask her what it is about that dress that she loves so much (sorry, but I don''t think it''s going to look flattering on anyone--it looks like it''s cut to make even small people look like they have quarterback shoulders). See if you can find another dress that is similar but better, and that will fit. You''re the maid of honour, you can wear any dress you want, in any colour you want--you don''t have to match the other bridesmaids! I think if you don''t try to find an alternative dress, you will be consumed with dread about this wedding, because you are going to feel miserable about how you will look. I''ve been in your position. I know exactly how bad it is. Please don''t put it off. Just talk to her.

Ditto to everything Gwen said.

Thritto Gwen''s wise words!

 

[kittybean]

Just to add my $.02, I think this dress will look good on exactly zero real people. Although it''s pretty on the mannequin, I doubt that it would look nice on more than 5% of women. Fieryred, I think you just need to have a heart-to-heart with the bride and tell her that dropping that many dress sizes is unrealistic and potentially unhealthy. If you are the MOH, you impliedly matter a great deal to her as a friend, and she should understand. I also think that you should talk to this vendor/designer and see whether they may have larger sizes available in the future. I just looked at it now and it appears to be available in a 10, so that indicates they might have various sizes at various times, and perhaps they can earmark one for you if you want it.

I sympathize with you on this so much. I have always been very, very small in stature and in build, and I am even thinner now than I used to be after a difficult illness a few years ago. Nothing off-the-rack seems to ever fit. Even the smallest standard sizes are generally quite a bit too big. I know that it is always easier to make things smaller as opposed to bigger, but I just don''t have the money to make over $100 of alterations to every dress I buy, especially if the dress costs as much as most bridesmaid gowns do. My "almost sister" cousin is getting married in six months, and I am terrified about finding a dress that will fit/trying to alter one to fit because there is no way I could decline to be her bridesmaid. Ugh.

I really hope you can resolve this issue in a way that will be un-stressful for everyone! Keep us updated.

 

[jmtomaui]

Fieryred, I do understand your feelings of stress due to your size as well as your feelings of wanting only the very best for your friend.

I don''t want to repeat much of the advice that has been given with such care for you. But if I might suggest... IF you feel the size 12 is possible, did you notice the halter top Chace dress? They have it in a size 12. You could order it in the same color and I think the halter looks to be more flattering than the original dress. The other girls could wear her original choice and there is nothing wrong with your dress looking slightly different.

It is the same designer, same fabric, same color, same skirt just a differently cut top.

You need to do what is best with you. And I wish you the best in whatever that is!

Julie

 

[lurkinglurker]

I haven''t read the whole thread but did click your link - I noticed it is available now in a 10 if that helps. Good luck.

 

[ash313]

Fiery, I am feeling for you here. I, too, have struggled with my weight for years, and spent lots of time and energy trying to lose weight for special events, etc.

But, I decided some time ago that I would love myself and treat myself right no matter my size. Also, I would be healthy despite size.

I have also told friends and family members who are on "diets" that I love them and want them to be healthy to enjoy life with me, but that I will not love them any more or any less if they are skinny, fat, or anywhere in between. I love them for who they are and that''s that. For what it''s worth, I think it does take some pressure off of them trying to look thin for someone else''s sake...I hope, anyway.

So, I say this to tell you that I KNOW that when you talk to your friend, she will tell you she loves you no matter what your size, and just wants you to be there! Good luck with everything!

 

[katamari]

Fieryred, I also fully support your decision to not do anything unhealthful to loose weight. Have you considered talking to your friend about having a seamstress make the dress for all the bridesmaids in their size? This is a possibility, as the design doesn''t look too complicated. Plus, it would allow you to get the size and be able to play with the design construction so it is most flattering. And, if your friend sees you are willing to do this (or that it might take this to make her dress dream a reality), it should be a good passive, but non-aggressive, way to bring up talking about alternative dress options. Good luck!

 

[bee*]

Date: 6/30/2008 12:54:15 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 6/30/2008 10:58:41 AM

Author: decodelighted

Has *anyone* actually tried on that dress?? It looks like a NIGHTMARE ... for EVERYONE!!! Seriously, you have no obligation to get down to a size eight. By November? That''s insane! If you''re the MOH, couldn''t you have a different dress than the other maids ... I''ve seen that many times. It''s rare to find a lineup of maids & MOH''s that can all fit in the same dress. I don''t care how much this bride ''loves'' this dress -- its simply not practical. I''d drop out of the wedding before agreeing to a crash diet for the next FIVE MONTHS

DIT-TO.


Apologies if I sound a bit unhinged in the rest of my post, but being overweight too and having had nightmarish bridesmaids dress issues in the past, it''s a bit of a hot topic with me.


This is NOTHING against you, my dear, but I think even losing 20 pounds to get into the size 12 (assuming it''s not cut small) is going to be tricky if you do it in a healthy way, which is what, a pound a week? And considering doing it an unhealthy way is scary because you''re talking about an awful long time to do a crash diet. There is NO WAY IN HELL, no matter how much I loved someone, I''d make myself feel so awful about my body (by the way, you aren''t ''big''--a size 12 is not now nor ever will be in my future but I would sing for joy if it was) for half a YEAR to HOPE that I could squeeze into a dress that''s a few sizes too small for just one day?!!

The only way to lose weight and stay motivated is for YOU, not for someone else, not to impress a dude or fit into a dress. Maybe you think right now you can keep it up for five months, but that''s a freakin'' long time, and I''ll bet anything that before the wedding you''ll start to resent your friend for putting you in this position. You''re the maid of honour. Tell her the dress doesn''t come in your size. You know how the salons always tell brides to order dresses at their current size, not their dream size, because 9 times out of 10 they don''t lose the weight they want to even though they have X months or even X years? Same situation here. You get a dress for the size you are, not what you hope to be after starving yourself for five months. Please just talk to her about it. If she''s as good a friend as you say, she should understand, and not want you to try to drop 3 dress sizes (or whatever it is from what you are now to the in 5 months.

Totally agree with Deco and Gwen-as someone who is losing weight herself, it''s a long, slow, frustrating process. I think that you have to say it to her that it cannot be done. She cannot expect you to lose so much before November. Please don''t be embarrassed-trust me, I know exactly how you feel! Lose the weight healthily for you, if you want to do it, not to fit into a dress.