Feeling foolish.

[bensbride]

So, I am feeling very foolish. Here it is, almost June, and I''m still not engaged. I know the name under which I post makes it seem otherwise, but I am not engaged yet. I joined PS in Jan-Feb when we were looking at rings, introducing our parents and talking about "our wedding" almost all the time. Vacation, our anniversary, holidays and his graduation have all passed and each time there''s a big event, I get my hopes up. I know I shouldn''t. I''ve even thought about going to the jewelry store and checking on "my ring" because I really miss it. It was beautiful and the longer I wait, the less I remember about it. Is that silly? I know I should just let it happen and stop stressing. I know he loves me and I know it will happen. Its just so frustrating sometimes, isn''t it?

 

[gwendolyn]

Hi, honey. If you were looking at rings in January and February, it''s still pretty early--it''s only May. I don''t know what settings you looked at or how much money was saved at that point, but it seems often this process takes longer than people realize. If you aren''t actively involved in the ring-buying process, I''m sure it seems longer because you are just waiting, instead of seeing each step pass. Also, some of the ladies here waited for months and months because their guys had something special planned and needed time to sort everything out. It may not be about big, momentous occasions but more about your FF being sure he is happy that YOU will be happy with the manner in which he proposes. There''s a lot of pressure put on the man to figure out how to do this, so try to remember that things *are* progressing, even if you can''t see the proof firsthand.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I am guessing you already purchased the ring and it is being held at the shop for safekeeping?

Have you started to plan your wedding and that is why you feel this strongly?

If you are just feeling a little bit of the old "c''mon now!" feelings, I think you are definately not alone. I am willing to bet that he is waiting for a particular event or he has something in the works.

Don''t feel foolish! Goodness me! Look at the date I finally joined PS (and that was after a few months of lurking). That was almost a year ago. At the time I thought FOR SURE it would have happened yet I am still waiting. Truth be told, I am almost feeling like I am not going to know what to do with myself when it finally does happen since I''ve spent so much time on this board for the past several months!

 

[Bia]

I''m with Gwen on this. It does take longer than people realize...

If you discussed it extensively and looked at rings, you''re still fine, that was only 4 months ago. I bet it will happen sooner than you realize.

 

[Bliss]

Stay strong!

I talked to my FI about it a lot. We were taking things slowly, but I wanted to be kept in the loop, too!

He doesn''t have to give it ALL away, but it would sure be nice if he said -- this summer. Between September and December. Anything! Right? It''s hard enough when you know the general timeline and have to wait. So I feel your frustration.

Maybe you could just talk to him about it. How does he react to it? Sometimes buying a ring can be overwhelming. I know if I were the guy, I''d freak out about it. Style, setting, shape, carat weight, cut, clarity...AAACK! I''d be a gelatinous mess. Maybe he''d be grateful for some help? That is, unless he wants to do it all himself!

BE STRONG! It''s OK... I know you just can''t wait to start your lives together. You just never know what he''s up to. My FI did it all secretly and I had NO idea what he was up to. I knew the general timeline and would pepper him lovingly with questions all the time. But the boy was in CIA mode - faxing GIA reports back and forth, flying across the country to see the diamonds in person... I mean, some boys can be secret operatives if they want to make something a surprise. Me, if I ate the last cookie, you can read it off my face the moment you walk into a room.

It''ll come!!! Communicate! It''s better for you both in the long run: one, it''ll keep you sane. Two, it''ll keep you from making him insane.

 

[tberube]

Sweetie, if your ring is already purchased, you know for sure it''s coming, then it''s time to sit back and let it happen. You have nothing to worry about, now....

 

[Blair138]

I could have written your post a few months ago-we looked at rings April 2007!! we went on vacation after vacation, my birthday, christmas, NYE, valentines, anniversarys all passed. I finally talked to him and it was money issue-but he gave me a timeline and I''ve stopped obsessing...talk to him if you feel you need to-otherwise-give him time!

 

[cutiegirl84]

I understand your frustration, especially if he already bought the ring. Don''t worry the proposal will come! I used to be really frustrated about my LIW status but now I''ve tried to put it in perspective: it will happen when it happens. And you know it is coming soon enough

 

[bensbride]

If I could''ve been patient for ONE MORE DAY, this post would''ve never been!!!! He proposed tonight! I knew I was being silly.

 

[FrekeChild]

Congratulations!!!!!!

 

[Deelight]

Congratulations

 

[JulieN]

Congrats!!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/28/2008 12:46:19 AM
Author: bensbride
If I could''ve been patient for ONE MORE DAY, this post would''ve never been!!!! He proposed tonight! I knew I was being silly.

Hahah, that''s GREAT news!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! Story and photos, oh pretty please!

 

[claireabelle]

Date: 5/28/2008 12:46:19 AM
Author: bensbride
If I could''ve been patient for ONE MORE DAY, this post would''ve never been!!!! He proposed tonight! I knew I was being silly.

HAHA! Congratulations!! You must have sensed it

bring on the pics and story!