Fiancee''s cousin picked same hall as us.....

[Stickee]

I just got engaged 3 weeks ago. We booked the church and the hall for May 2006.

My fiancee''s first-cousin, who got engaged in January books the EXACT SAME HALL (menu and all) right after we booked ours?!? They''re wedding is 2 months after ours.

If I were on the other side of the coin, I wouldn''t book the same place as another relative, especially just two months after their wedding.

I don''t think my finacee is being drama queen, but is my fiancee understandably upset? I''m very upset for her as well, and can''t understand the logic behind their decision.

 

[Kaili]

I''m so sorry for your frustration! At least their reception will be AFTER yours. If it were the other way around, I would be even more upset. This way, you can at least have the first impact- I know it''s not too much consolation. Have you spoken to them about their decision?

 

[Stickee]

Date: 6/8/2005 10:02:43 PM
Author: Kaili
I''m so sorry for your frustration! At least their reception will be AFTER yours. If it were the other way around, I would be even more upset. This way, you can at least have the first impact- I know it''s not too much consolation. Have you spoken to them about their decision?

My fiancee spoke to her aunt (mother of the other bride), but they don''t see anything wrong with it. I don''t get people sometimes. There are hundreds of halls in the area that are just as nice....

 

[njc]

My first question was going to be are there other equally nice halls, but you answered that. I am sure it is upsetting (i know i wouldnt be too happy if someone i knew came along and did that). But if you think about it, you probably arent the first to have a wedding there and you probably wont be the last. If it is a space that requires a lot of decorating, it probably never looks the same twice.

My family has a house that is on a large river. It has a beach and the house sits up on a hill on a couple hundred feet above the water, so its a really nice view. Anyways, in the last 8 years, 3 different people (my brother, moms BFF, neighbors son) have used the backyard to get married. They were all very similar, but at the same time unique in the fact that it was *their* wedding. Granted no one got married within months of each other, but having attended them all they dont blur together or anything like that. Everyone had their own touches.

I know this doesnt help much. I agree with Kaili, at least you get to do it first. If there was a way to talk to them without getting upset, it may be worth knowing why they picked there (family ties, fits into their budget?). And there is the saying, imitation is the best form of flattery.

Good luck and i hope you will be able to find peace over this soon.

 

[Morticia]

I can understand why you and your fiancee would be a little upset, but at the end of the day, it's not that big of deal. I wouldn't let it bother me too much. I mean, who knows? Maybe she's been to a wedding there before and loved the place?

Your wedding is before her's so that should make you guys feel a little better. Besides, same place and all but I'm sure there will be different flowers and a different feel to it.

Try not to let it bother you guys too much and just enjoy the planning, etc. Have fun with it.

**Edit** - I think if I booked the place before her and then she went and booked the same place, after me, but for a date before mine, I would be pissed.

 

[flopkins]

Hm... I would be annoyed. But like some of the others said, it''s not worth making a huge fuss about, esp since they booked it after you, and for a later date. Isnt imitation the sincerest form of flattery?!

 

[FireGoddess]

It''s definitely annoying, no doubt. If they had booked the identical place/menu for a wedding BEFORE mine, I think I''d turn into bridezilla and just haul off on them. But since it''s 2 months after yours, I''d say don''t sweat it...they''re (guests) going to experience deja vu at your cousin''s wedding, NOT yours. That''s what would be important to me.

 

[Stickee]

Date: 6/9/2005 2:22:04 PM
Author: njc
My first question was going to be are there other equally nice halls, but you answered that. I am sure it is upsetting (i know i wouldnt be too happy if someone i knew came along and did that). But if you think about it, you probably arent the first to have a wedding there and you probably wont be the last. If it is a space that requires a lot of decorating, it probably never looks the same twice.

We''re kind of over it now, and it''s comforting knowing we''ll be having it first. To me, it doesn''t really matter, but to my fiancee, it matters a bit more as it''s her side of the family.

I know there will be hundreds of weddings in the same facility, but nearly half of our guests will be the same.

Your family house sounds awesome and traditions like that are really nice.

 

[Stickee]

Thanks everyone! I''ll show my fiancee the link and no doubt she''ll feel better.

 

[codex57]

Well, if it''s any comfort to your fiancee, since you guys were first, anyone who thinks it''s disrespectful, uncreative, whatever, will think that of the cousin. You guys are fine.

 

[jellybean]

One of my bridesmaids (who is my cousin) booked the same hall right after we did. At first I was a little miffed but I was kind of flattered that she thought our place was so nice that she wanted it for her wedding as well.

Even though half the family was the same, it was two completely different weddings. Different flowers, different DJ, etc. It didn''t even feel like it was in the same hall.

So don''t sweat the small stuff.