Finally! Some progress!

[JenStone]

It''s not a major development but it''s inching there.

Reading the reponses to Acacia''s post really inspired me. So this morning, I talked to him about it. It wasn''t a long, super-serious conversation, but I addressed my concerns: mainly, that I''m ready to start planning for my future....I would like to include him in it, but I can''t until he tells me what his plans/hopes/aspirations are. Very subtly, I asked if a proposal is in the near future.

I also brought up samkongado''s post and how sometimes, guys can get too involved in planning to dream, total-surprise proposal that they leave their girlfriends questioning the status of their relationship. I told him how it''s perfectly fine for girls to get involved in the ring-selection process, and that it can still be a surprise.

He was still a bit stubborn about it, because he''s one of those guys who dreams of having the perfect surprise proposal. He asked, "How can it still be a surprise if you shop for the ring together? If you tell the girl that you''re looking for a ring?"

I told him how he has the option of waiting months between purchasing a ring and proposing. I don''t think he agreed with me, but at least he''s introduced to the idea.

I then told him, "I already told you what my ideal timeline is. Do you have one? Can you tell me about it?"

He admitted that he did.

But by then we were already running late for work. He said, "And I''ll tell you all about it after work today!"

He''s so evil.

Wish me luck!

 

[caligal]

Jenstone- YAY! I think this was a great conversation, very directive, yet non-assuming, and non-threatening...way to go! And he has a timeline- that''s huge! I finally was brave enough to get a timeline from mine... I told him "this relationship expires on December 31, 2006." He laughed and responded, "you don''t have anything to worry about." YAY! I''m hoping it is before my girlfriend''s wedding in Oct. He finishes school in Sept (we''re both 29- he decided to get the degree a bit later!). Can''t wait to hear more details from you!

 

[snuga]

Congratulations JenStone, that is definitely great progress!! I hope his timeline fits your ideal time frame!! Can''t wait to hear about it!

 

[Blenheim]

That''s so exciting! I hope that your talk tonight also goes well, and be sure to let us know of any updates.

 

[InLuvWithMrH]

I bet you won''t be getting any work down today! Hope it all goes great!!

 

[JenStone]

Date: 3/29/2006 2:51:57 PM
Author: InLuvWithMrH
I bet you won''t be getting any work down today! Hope it all goes great!!

The day couldn''t go any slower! I feel like a little kid on Christmas Eve!

 

[anchor31]

That''s fabulous JenStone! I had this converstion too and boy does it help!!

I can''t wait to hear about the rest of the conversation!

 

[JenStone]

Update!

I didn't want to ask him right away because I didn't want him to know that I had been thinking about it the entire day.

I was kind of hoping that he would bring it up, but of course he didn't.

After what seemed like 5 hours (it was probably closer to 15 minutes

) I asked, "So...what's your timeline?"

"Huh?"

"Your timeline? Remember what we talked about this morning?"

"Hmm...I don't recall having such conversation..." he said, while acting innocent.

I was about to strangle him at this point. He saw that I was giving him the *death* look, so he said, "Okay, okay....well, I always thought 35 was a good age to get married. But then I met you and you told me about your timeline. And I want to be with you and make you as happy as possible. So I guess 30? Give or take a year?"

That would make me 27 at the time....right in synch with my ideal timeline!

After a bit of silence, I told him, "You know that's only 2 years away, right?"

"I know. I can count."

"Well....that only leaves you a year to propose to me."

"Just a year? I was thinking a bit longer than that..."

"Well you know that I would prefer at least a year of engagement." Hint, hint!

"Oh yeah, I forgot that you're anal and you want every detail planned perfectly."

Then he received a phone call and we didn't return to the topic after he hung up. Stupid cell phones!

About an hour later, I found myself blurting out, "I don't want to wait more than a year." (What is it about engagements/marriage that makes me act like a little kid?)

He became very patient with me and we started talking for real. We had a long conversation, and although he never outright said it, he hinted that it would probably be happening within the year. I even quized him on the type of ring I wanted, and he remembered every little detail! When I told him that the cut is the important thing to look for in a diamond, and started to talk about depth, table, proportions, etc, he cut in and said, "I know all this already, silly." which means that he had started his research!

When I mentioned PS (although I hope he never finds my posts about him

) and how he can probably get the most bang for the buck via internet vendors like GOG and Whiteflash, he told me that he had "connections." Connections? It turns out that his father's cousin owns a reputable diamond factory in China. (!!!) However, his family isn't too close to him so he has a backup - one of his best friends' mother is in the diamond business also! I said, "But you know that you should always get an independent appraiser to take a look at it..." and he replied of course.

We then went on to talk about possible wedding plans, honeymoon destinations, where we will live after marriage, even where to register and what to register for! We kept talking about talking about our future together, and I couldn't be happier, because we had never before talked this openly about a life together. By the end of the conversation, we both had huge smiles on our faces.

I'm so sorry that this was such a long read but let this be a lesson to all LIW's - your SO will never know exactly how you feel so COMMUNICATE! I never knew my boyfriend had been making all these plans in his head, and I'm pretty sure that he was glad to have them off his chest.

I know it probably won't happen for months and months, but I just can't stop smilling.

 

[snuga]

YAY!!!

I am so happy that your talk went well. It sounds like things worked out perfectly with your timelines. It''s amazing how we never know what is going on inside a guys head until we talk to him about it in an open and honest way, it turns out that they can get just as giddy and excited and silly about the same things we do!! Congratulations and RELAX, because now you know!!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 3/29/2006 9:27:02 PM
Author: JenStone
Update!
I''m so sorry that this was such a long read but let this be a lesson to all LIW''s - your SO will never know exactly how you feel so COMMUNICATE! I never knew my boyfriend had been making all these plans in his head, and I''m pretty sure that he was glad to have them off his chest.

You can say that again. And again. I learned to communicate better with my SO too since I''m a LIW and it does wonders!! Woohoo!

Yay for a timeline, Jen!! That''s so great!!

 

[MINE!!]

WOW.. That sounds wonderful!! I bet you are so happy. I remember that first excited feeling of forever...

 

[ilovesparkles]

YAY what an exhausting day! But I am so happy you were able to have such a wonderful talk about everything!

 

[Mandarine]

Jen that''s great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know exactly how you feel! I was in the same position one my BF (recently) started talking more about weddings, honeymoons, etc etc....it''s just crazy to go from them feeling "pressured" to opening up about the whole thing and being excited to talk freely!!!

M~