First dance... REAL dancing?

[musey]

What are you ladies planning to do for your first dance?

FI's not much of a dancer, while I've done most every type of ballroom dancing at one point or another. Should I teach him, or sign us up for a class, and have our first dance be real dancing? Or should we just "sway"?

What did/are YOU do(ing)?

 

[sumbride]

We really enjoyed our dance lessons... it sort of gave us time together during the planning that we wouldn''t otherwise have had, and when DH saw that our instructor was Natalie Portman''s double, he didn''t complain at ALL. We learned a basic foxtrot and it helped us move smoother together... we won''t win any contests, but it made us more confident and I do remember hearing "They really know what they''re doing" while we were dancing, so I''m glad we weren''t just swaying!

 

[RoseAngel04]

DH and I took dance lessons in the months leading up to our wedding and really enjoyed it. We had a ton of fun learning how to really DANCE...so we''re really glad we didn''t just "sway." Our lessons really paid off...we impressed our family and friends with a wonderful first dance. We learned the rumba. I would recommend dance lessons if you have the time, money and desire to do something other than the somewhat typical "sway." Our first dance was so special and memorable...we even received a standing applause!

 

[basil]

Fiance and I don''t live in the same state, so dancing lessons are sort of out of the question. It''s unfortunate, because we''d both like to learn. So I guess we''ll just be doing the sway. Our first dance song is kind of corny, so hopefully it won''t be too awkward

 

[Neveah]

We are dancing to "our song" Faithfully by Journey.

We are NOT taking dancing lessons because:

1. I want to concentrate on being in the moment and focusing on us and this incredible time. If that means we''re swaying.... so be it. I''m more interested in remembering this moment between us and not performing for everyone else. Plus I love at weddings watching the first dance when the couple is so lost in conversation and staring at each other that they''re barely moving on the dance floor. It''s like no one else is there.....so romantic.
2. My cousin and her husband took lessons and choreographed a dance to "At Last" it was..... awkward. I don''t know. Wasn''t feeling it. The dancing part was good, don''t get me wrong. I just felt embaressed watching them... I can''t explain it. It was just weird. *Totally MY opinion*

 

[iheartscience]

I don''t know! I''ve thought about taking lessons and learning something fun so I won''t feel so ridiculous. I''m not really good with forced romance type things and I really feel like that''s how a first dance could be for me! Just all these people looking at you while you dance all romantical-like...I don''t know, it kind of embarasses me just thinking about it! And I''m not a shy person! So I think learning something awesome to do would be nice so I could focus on that instead of trying not to feel awkward!

I''m going to echo Neveah and say *just my opinion* too! No offense meant to peeps who like first dances!

 

[Blenheim]

We just swayed. It was nice being able to concentrate on the moment and not on what dance move I was supposed to do.

 

[musey]

Date: 12/3/2007 9:40:44 PM
Author: Neveah

2. My cousin and her husband took lessons and choreographed a dance to 'At Last' it was..... awkward. I don't know. Wasn't feeling it. The dancing part was good, don't get me wrong. I just felt embaressed watching them... I can't explain it. It was just weird. *Totally MY opinion*

Just to clarify: Lessons for him to learn how to dance would not equal a choreographed "number" for our first dance

haha! (Those of you who dance know what I'm talking about!!)

I'm talking about teaching him to waltz, most likely (though the trouble with that is then having to choose a song that's in 3/4 or 6/8... and all our contenders are in 4/4

)

 

[ladyciel]

We''ve been taking ballroom lessons (we started before we were engaged - my doing, because I always wanted to learn), and I think we''ll most likely do a foxtrot for our first dance. We won''t choreograph, as Musey said, but really just try to enjoy ourselves. When you''re really dancing, him leading and her actually following (avoiding the urge to back-lead

), there has to be a real connection there for it to work. It''s something I''ve noticed us really improving with our lessons, and I think by the time of our first dance we''ll be able to stay in tune with each other and dance (fun moves and all), while still maintaining that dreamy romantic state of mind that others have talked about already.

 

[Hera]

My husband and I went and had our dance choreographed to our wedding song. We went every week for like a month or something. We laughed, we cried, we accused and we made up. Ten years later, it''s my favorite memory of our wedding.

 

[goldenstar]

FI is dead set on a choreographed dance. He doesn''t have strong opinions on much else, so I have to let him have this one. He doesn''t want to just sway because he thinks its boring. I, on the other hand, wouldn''t mind swaying at all.

One of my copies of InStyle Weddings had an article about copying dance scenes from well known movies. They suggested Dirty Dancing, Pulp Fiction and others. I thought it would be so fun to do the tango from Scent of a Woman. It doesn''t seem too complicated-- even a blind man could do it! Its also a good length-- 2 1/2 minutes. I don''t like 5 minute first dances.

We plan to take lessons when the date gets closer. I hope it doesn''t end up being too cheesy.

(You can look for the dance on YouTube. I really think its adorable.)

 

[happy in love]

We are taking lessons, we just got back from one actually. We took some classes a while ago just for fun, salsa, waltz, cha cha, swing... but FI never felt totally comfortable leading, so we actually decided to go with a choreographed number so he is more comfortable.
It''s kind of funny, I don''t have much experience with ballroom dancing, but have danced in many other forms for years, so FI gets a little frustrated because I am not a very good follower. I keep trying to lead

 

[bee*]

We''re getting a swing band so we''re hoping to get a few lessons before hand. We went to Swing 46 in NY in July while we were there and D was saying he''d love to learn to dance.

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi Musey,

My FI and I don''t dance, except at weddings, and that''s only occasionally. It should be an interesting experience at our wedding.

We don''t feel like spending the extra money to take dance lessons when we know we won''t plan on keeping up what we''ve learned. Not everyone thinks like that though. Some of my friends took dance lessons before their weddings and they had a blast. If you know how to dance, it could be fun to teach your FI. I think we''re going with the swaying option.

As for our first song, I think it will be Van Morrison''s "Someone Like You." Every time I say that to my FI though, he starts singing Rod Stewart''s version and then that''s in my head all day. Ugh.

 

[Krissie]

We will probably take some dancing classes before the wedding, if for nothing else than a nice memory and a good way to spend some time together. We''ve danced together many times before, but it''s hardly been anything other than drunken swaying

In terms of first dance songs - we don''t have an "OUR" song, but we had quite a list of possiblilities until we tried to dance to them and failed miserably. I kind of like a peppier tune but my fiance is more the "sway" type.

On our shortlist

Lovely Day - Bill Withers
Come Away with Me - Norah Jones
All I Want is You - U2
Moon River - Andy Williams (this would require some waltzing!)
Can''t Take My Eyes Off You - Frankie Valli/4 Seasons
Hold You in my Arms - Ray LaMontagne

So, yeah - quite a bit of variety, and I have no idea what we''ll pick. Suggestions welcomed

 

[AmberWaves]

We kind of twirled around, our first dance song was "Kiss the Girl" from The Little Mermaid (the version by Sebastian the Crab). We''re not much for dancing, and my husband offered to take lessons, but I really would rather just sway to the music.

 

[tberube]

The way I see it, how the heck am I going to remember some silly dance moves while trying my hardest not to wail and cry during the first dance?! Dance lessons would go to waste on me. Besides, I would much rather focus on the special-ness of the moment, looking into his eyes instead of my feet, listening to the music and feeling all my loved ones around me.

Besides - nobody''s going to care anyway, at least with the people I know...

 

[sumbride]

Date: 12/3/2007 10:04:42 PM
Author: musey

Date: 12/3/2007 9:40:44 PM
Author: Neveah

2. My cousin and her husband took lessons and choreographed a dance to ''At Last'' it was..... awkward. I don''t know. Wasn''t feeling it. The dancing part was good, don''t get me wrong. I just felt embaressed watching them... I can''t explain it. It was just weird. *Totally MY opinion*

Just to clarify: Lessons for him to learn how to dance would not equal a choreographed ''number'' for our first dance

haha! (Those of you who dance know what I''m talking about!!)

I''m talking about teaching him to waltz, most likely (though the trouble with that is then having to choose a song that''s in 3/4 or 6/8... and all our contenders are in 4/4

)

Exactly. We learned the steps but we didn''t choreograph! He learned how to lead and where to put his feet, I learned how to follow and where to put my feet. We learned some turns and a twirl, but the end result was DH deciding when we were doing what and I just followed. We were definitely in the moment and "together" and our eyes were locked on each other, not on our feet. I think if we hadn''t taken lessons the opposite would have been true... he would have worried about stepping on my dress and I would have wondered just what I was supposed to do... we''ve awkwardly danced at weddings before and we were glad we took the time to actually be comfortable with it.

And me learning how to follow helped a lot when other people asked me to dance throughout the evening. My dad and I spent about 4 minutes practicing a waltz... that''s all it took because he is a good leader and I knew how to follow! My DH was dismayed to find out that his mom didn''t know how to foxtrot because he didn''t know anything else, and she couldn''t follow him so their dance lasted about a minute before she had her boyfriend cut in.

I think all these videos of people with fancy dances take the joy out of it... you don''t have to be tv-worthy, but lessons can take the edge off if you''re uncomfortable or just unsure. Plus I have some great pictures of us in dance position that we learned in class... he has excellent form thanks to Sofi, our knockout instructor.

 

[goldenstar]

I really enjoy choreographed dances when they express a couple''s personality. Maybe they''re goofballs, romantics, traditional, etc. Its definitely not for everyone though.

 

[Hera]

It can be a good photo op if there is a dip. We notified the photgrapher that there would be one at the end of the song.

 

[HollyS]

Instead of fake dancing?

If you want dancing available, but don''t care much for the *first dance, everybody''s looking at us*, just make it known that you won''t be doing THE DANCE, and get everyone else dancing at the same time. Get your wedding party, Mom & Dad, his parents, grandparents, and close friends out there with you to start things off. Your DJ or wedding planner can make a general announcement that people should feel free to start dancing; that way nobody is waiting for you to kick things off.

 

[musey]

Date: 12/4/2007 4:09:48 PM
Author: HollyS
Instead of fake dancing?

If you want dancing available, but don''t care much for the *first dance, everybody''s looking at us*, just make it known that you won''t be doing THE DANCE, and get everyone else dancing at the same time. Get your wedding party, Mom & Dad, his parents, grandparents, and close friends out there with you to start things off. Your DJ or wedding planner can make a general announcement that people should feel free to start dancing; that way nobody is waiting for you to kick things off.

REAL as opposed to just "moving." I don''t think of swaying as being in the same category as "real" dancing!

We definitely do want a "first dance," I''m not sure if I made it seem like we didn''t. I was just curious whether most other people just "sway" or do more formal styles!

 

[RoseAngel04]

Date: 12/3/2007 9:40:44 PM
Author: Neveah
We are dancing to ''our song'' Faithfully by Journey.

We are NOT taking dancing lessons because:

1. I want to concentrate on being in the moment and focusing on us and this incredible time. If that means we''re swaying.... so be it. I''m more interested in remembering this moment between us and not performing for everyone else. Plus I love at weddings watching the first dance when the couple is so lost in conversation and staring at each other that they''re barely moving on the dance floor. It''s like no one else is there.....so romantic.
2. My cousin and her husband took lessons and choreographed a dance to ''At Last'' it was..... awkward. I don''t know. Wasn''t feeling it. The dancing part was good, don''t get me wrong. I just felt embaressed watching them... I can''t explain it. It was just weird. *Totally MY opinion*

I want to clarify...we DID take dance lessons but did not have a choreographed dance. Our dance instructor taught us the basic rumba step (quick quick slow) and also taught us several special moves that added some fun. After a few months of practicing, the steps became like second nature...there were no set dance steps we had to make at a certain time in the song...we let it flow and were still able be in the moment with each other and really enjoy our first dance as husband and wife. You can have the best of both worlds...dance lessons and still be in the moment enjoying your new hubby. We were definitely NOT performing for our guests....we were still able to have a sweet conversation and gaze into each others eyes!!! I''m smiling just thinking back to our special day and our first dance...we''ve been married 4 months today!

In the end...if you and your FI want to take lessons I say go for it! It''s not for everyone, but in our experience we had a blast and have a lot of special memories from our first dance and lessons.