First things first

[laughwithme]

What will be the first things you do (planning-wise) when you get engaged? And how soon will you do them?


The reason I ask is because, I literally think I will start looking at churches and reception venues the same week or the next week... but where I live, places fill up fast. Oh, and I will probably set a date that same day. Am I crazy for wanting to get planning so soon? (keep in mind, we will be engaged for around a year and 4 months, I''m guessing.) It''s okay, you can tell me if I''m crazy. The third thing on the to-do list would be the photographer since we will get e-photos taken, but I feel like I will chill out as soon as those 3 are over and relax and enjoy being engaged for a bit.

Hah, right, who am I kidding.

 

[sammyj]

laughwithme, I don''t think you''re crazy at all for wanting to get the ball rolling with planning. You obviously have to set the date before you start looking at venues, so deciding asap is what I''d do as well (actually, we have a tentative date and an engagement isn''t for another few months!). Is the venue you want one that books up over a year in advance? I know some venues require booking at least 8-10 months in advance if not more. To guarantee that you get the venues of your choice, I''d recommend doing things right away!!

If you take a look at the LIWs who have recently been engaged, you''ll notice that they head right on over to BWW and start planning asap. It''s definitely not crazy and if you''re the super organized type, I''d say go for it! Plus, a year and 4 months isn''t a ton of time for new trends to develop so you may not be tempted to change your mind at the last minute...but something to keep in mind nonetheless!

 

[gwendolyn]

I think it makes perfect sense to try to book your venue first, since everything else will revolve around your date, which is only secured when you have a venue. So, yeah, I''d start with that. As for how soon after we get engaged, that''s anybody''s guess--we''ll have to work out in which country first, which could take a week or a month. That doesn''t help you at all, but I don''t think setting things up when you know you want them is crazy at all. That''s what it''s all about, isn''t it?

 

[kittybean]

My first visit to a venue was six days after I got engaged. I called the church we wanted about four days after our engagement. I stayed flexible on the date until I could coordinate the church and reception venue (no small task).

I don''t think you''d be crazy to start checking out venues right away--I would say you''re "organized"

.

 

[tabu]

I think you should start planning your wedding when its the right time for you. If it is the same day he asks, so be it. I will probably start doing research atleast the same week. I know the venue and the dress are the most important things to do first because places do get reserved and sometimes dresses can take a long time if you order it. So, start planning girl when you feel the time is right!!

Also, I feel like the sooner you start, the more fun you can have due to less stress and more time.

 

[American Girl]

Please... if you''re crazy, I think we may all be just a bit crazy, some of us a bit more than others... I''m pretty sure I fit into that category. BUT, I like to think of it as ''research'' and being ''prepared''. Sounds good, right? haha!

The first thing I would do is decide on a date and then decide on what kind of a wedding you want - what do you want it to look like. Do you want a formal/informal/beach/indoor/outdoor/garden/church type of a wedding. From there I would make a tentative guest list and then start looking for venues. The number of people and venue will help you to decide most your details... including what type of dress you want (I don''t want casual type dress if I''m having a formal wedding). The number of guests will help you decide what kind, if any, favors you want to give to your guests and how much you want to spend on them... etc.

... just my thoughts. Like I said, I''ve been doing my ''research''

I think it''s rather smart to get any idea of what you want. In fact, I started a tear-sheet book so that I could keep my pictures and ideas somewhere. They''re all sorted by categories.

What you decide on today may be something totally different 4-6 months from now.

 

[ringless]

I would say the first thing is decide on a date, budget/amount of guests, venue... everything else can wait 8-10 months before the wedding.
Also, I'm big into photography so I would want to secure a good photographer as one of my top things as they book early fast.

 

[Clairitek]

No, you''re not crazy at all! I''ve been engaged for not even 4 days and I''ve already filled my in box with correspondence from venues and I''ve requested date availability information for my first choice photographer. I too have a popular place in mind that fills up fast so I realize that even for 2010 I need to get moving. Especially if I want to do something in wedding season (May-September).

 

[laughwithme]

Clairitek, you are exactly right. I am thinking a June 2010 wedding but lately, I''ve been seeing so many people mention 2010 weddings and really, things fill up faster than most people realize. I''ve already talked to my BF about this b/c it stresses me out. The reception venue I like is filled right now through April 2010. The church only allows people to book exactly 365 days in advance and so I''ve been emailing that lady b/c I''m worried how I can manage to guarantee a June 2010 Saturday when the reception venue would need to be booked asap - like, now if possible.

I think Kittybean is totally right when she said you just have to be flexible until you can make your reception and ceremony venues match up. I am really worried about a June wedding and if my engagement would only be a year, I really don''t see how we could get our #1 choices for June. Maybe I should loosen up on the month... I just love warm (not super hot) weather and being the first month of summer, lots of people should be able to attend.

GAH! If he would just DO it, I could relax!

No, but really, I am absolutely not going to lose focus on the real meaning of this - even if we get married in a public restroom, I just want him to be my husband at the end of the day.

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 12/1/2008 5:28:39 PM
Author: laughwithme
No, but really, I am absolutely not going to lose focus on the real meaning of this - even if we get married in a public restroom, I just want him to be my husband at the end of the day.

I truly admire your attitude! Its nice to remind yourself of that once in a while (and even tell your FF too!). I know that my FI smiled when after a long wedding talk this weekend where we ran into some disagreements I said to him "In the end, I don''t really care. I just want to be married to you and that is the single most important aspect of the day!"

You''ll figure out the date stuff eventually. Hopefully the church people will take some pity on you. Are you flexible on the church or is this place sentimental to you?

 

[SparklyLibra]

Date: 12/1/2008 5:35:36 PM
Author: Clairitek

Date: 12/1/2008 5:28:39 PM

Author: laughwithme

No, but really, I am absolutely not going to lose focus on the real meaning of this - even if we get married in a public restroom, I just want him to be my husband at the end of the day.

I truly admire your attitude! Its nice to remind yourself of that once in a while (and even tell your FF too!). I know that my FI smiled when after a long wedding talk this weekend where we ran into some disagreements I said to him ''In the end, I don''t really care. I just want to be married to you and that is the single most important aspect of the day!


You''ll figure out the date stuff eventually. Hopefully the church people will take some pity on you. Are you flexible on the church or is this place sentimental to you?

Ladies! I feel you on that! Maybe I should say that my FFI feels you more, LOL! We were planning a wedding for May 31st of ''09, but we were talking last week and we both just want to be married to each other so badly that we''re actually toying with the idea of moving our date up to Valentines day of ''09! (Like I said, it''s gonna be a really small and intimate invite list) Had it not been for me doing all my homework beforehand I''d be going crazy trying to plan a small but nice wedding in 75 days!

 

[sugarjo]

LWM.

I have been engaged for a little over a month and I have: picked a planner and caterer, booked venue, started dress shopping
Thread in BWW

and picked out BM dresses! And planned an engagement party with my mom. To be fair we picked an "approximate" date before he popped the question. Our engagement will be 14 months long, I feel really ahead of the ball.
The kicker, the night we got engaged I told FI that we should take the first month to just really enjoy it and relax.......Ha!

 

[havernell]

Date: 12/1/2008 4:05:07 PM
Author: ringless
I would say the first thing is decide on a date, budget/amount of guests...

Budget and number of guests should DEFINITELY be hammered out before you start looking at any venues. If you don''t set a FIRM budget from the beginning, you will go over it, trust me. So, before you book anything, I would do some research and get a realistic sense of what all of the various vendors (photography, flowers, catering, rentals, transportation, etc) cost in your area so that you know what percentage of your budget you can spend on your venue. Wedding sites like the Knot have suggestions for what percentage of your budget should go to each thing (i.e. I think photography is like 10%).

Also, talk with both families about a rough guest list so you know how many people you need to accommodate at a reception site. You don''t want to book a room that can only seat 100 people and then later come to find that you want to invite 175 people. Also, number of guests will affect your budget A LOT (i.e. if you need to feed less people you can spend more money elsewhere), so get that figured out first! You may have some headaches when it comes to making a guest list- you may want a large wedding, your FI may want small, parents may feel they have to invite professional contacts, etc... You need to set parameters early on for what category of people will be invited (i.e. first cousins invited, but no second cousins) and get both families on the same page in order to avoid hurt feelings later on. This should be roughly figured out BEFORE you book a venue.

Good luck with it all!

 

[Dreamgirl]

This is a HUGE thing with me. I am so fussy about these things. I'm glad you brought it up.

I'm not quite sure on which month per-say that he will propose but I have a summer wedding in mind (and I'd like to be engaged for a year) As soon as possible, like same day/next day I would find out about my dream wedding venue because I am soooooo freaked out that they will be booked on the day I want to get married. (Been with FF for 10 years already, still not engaged. It's important to me that we get our day)

So get this, I have already emailed them (dream venue) MONTHS ago just to find out how quickly they book up. lol

She told me a year to a year and a half

NOOOOOO!!! (I told FF) lol. I also asked about the weather up there during the time I want to get married. Because this dreamsite is outdoors for the wedding, indoors for the reception. I worry it will rain on me (being a summer month.) I've even tried to research weather history to find out how often it rains during this time...lol Talk about crazy.

*ETA- I've researched all these other venues for about the past 2 years and nothing compares to this place. FF likes it a lot too.

Also, I have a certain photographer in mind. I really REALLY want this photographer. So as soon as I book the venue, I'm calling the photographer and telling him when I'm to get married (which happens to be the same date as his wedding anniversary) and hope to God that he will photograph for us. lol Well, I'm so bad that I've thought about contacting him to see if he would shoot a wedding on his wedding anniversary. I'd hate to be let down to find out he wouldn't do it cause its his anniversary. But his wife works with him. Hmmm...

FF is right, I worry too much.

 

[Winks_Elf]

First thing after the phone calls will be to start looking for a venue. My bf''s brother is a detective in the town where a few venues are that I''m interested in looking at, so we may get a really nice discount on the venue! (hoping anyway). It will be an afternoon event since there will be so many kids, but then we''ll plan for a much smaller post-wedding intimate party for the core people (like our brothers and his sister). October books up FAST!

 

[miss_flo]

Venue, venue, venue Everything in SF books up a year in advance, so my first concern will be booking the church and club we prefer. If they''re already taken, I''ll have to research alternatives immediately. The biggest problem is that most venues don''t come with tables, linens, chair or place settings so as soon as we''ve booked, I''ll have to follow up with that too. Sigh.

 

[SuiteLady]

I’ll work on reserving the ceremony and reception. Then I’ll get the photographer. After that…I’ll breeze and chill. Those are the most important things to us.

 

[emeraldlover1]

I understand how you feel. My FI and I booked our venue and photographer almost 2 months before we got engaged. I bought my dress very shortly after we got engaged and since then I''ve done a lot of stuff. So I''ve been engaged for a little over 3 months and we''ve booked in order: website, venue, photographer, church, dress, hotel blocks, band, save the dates and invites, flowers, videographer, cigar roller, rehersal dinner site, bridesmaids dresses, mens tuxes, bridesmaids gifts, veil, day of jewelry.

Right now I''m working on booking transportation, our honeymoon, and hair and makeup. My fiance is really involved and that helps a lot when it comes time to make the decisions.

I agree with the budget part. Have at least a rough idea of what you think you can afford and a rough idea of what you think the headcount might be. I''ve seen it work in both directions. As for our situation, we knew in a ballpark of a certian dollar amount what we were willing to pay. We are actually trying to come in under budget however we have a fairly generous misc. bucket if we need it. Once we knew that we decided on the venue we liked and if we could afford to invite a certain number of people. Also, our destination is far for some people so our guest list is a little over 200 but we only expect about 150 to come.

 

[ckrickett]

venue... plan a budget.... beg father to increase budget.
Get a wedding band, I have looked at those more then e-rings!