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Diamonds4Me

Diamonds4Me

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2004
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Yes, I''m flipping out. Scared beyond belief. I have no idea why I am so afraid of this but just the thought of it is really eating at me and causing me to get this sense of tightness in the chest, heart racing, shortness of breath..no not a heart attack..but a panic attack. H2b just booked us a flight today for a family visit to Colorado in September. The last time I flew was when I was 7 years old. That was 20 years ago. He''s flown three times since we''ve been together and they have all been within a years time. The first time he flew while I''ve known him was right before Christmas. I had my very first panic attack at 3 in the morning and he was going to be coming home that day. I remember lying (fetal position) in the floor all alone on the verge of hyperventilating and thinking that I was going die of a heart attack and he wouldn''t even know about it until he came home. It felt like an eternity. I don''t know how long it lasted but it was too long for me. Now I feel it all over again. I haven''t actually had one this time but I feel all the strange things building up to it. I keep reminding myself to breathe and remain calm but I can''t shake it. I''m cranky and nervous...antsy...and its still one month and one week away. The worst part about all of this is that I don''t even know what I am afraid of! I don''t know if it''s fear of falling, crashing, taking off, landing, loss of control,....I just don''t have a clue. To make matters worse..every time I turn on the tv there is something there about airplanes. Just this week I came across two separate comedy skits on airplane travel. One was Tuesday and the other was today. Then there are other things here and there...it just really bugs me. I mean, come on. Its like the networks know I''m going to be flying for the first time in 20 years and they are doing this to me on purpose to send me straight to the looney bin or something. I know...I am not thinking rationally. But this is really pushing me over the edge. Also, whenever I say anything to anyone about my fear of flying they tell me all of the wonderful things about it and how its so much safer than driving in your car and as soon as they say it I immediately feel jinxed. Like it''ll be the flight that I''m on that it happens to because all I''ve heard are all the great things there is to know about it. I know I need to get over this fear because I can''t live my life wrapped up in my own little cocoon. I know I am missing out on a whole world. I''ve even driven to the airport and just stood there and watched the planes take off and land over and over again just to get it into my head that it is so ROUTINE. Even doing that just freaked me out because as soon as those wheels left the pavement they looked like they were moving at a snails pace. It just seems so wrong! How can something that BIG be going along like that and not be touching the ground?? H2b knows how scared I am and even said he is more than willing to not do this if it was not what I wanted to do. But I must do this! I know he will cancel it if I said that was what I wanted and he wouldn''t think anything else of it and everything would be back to normal. BUT I KNOW that if it were cancelled because of me and this stupid stupid fear I would be more angry with myself than I am scared right now.
I don''t really expect anyone to respond to this..I just felt like I had to say something before I explode.

Well..now I am rambling so I think its best that I just stop before I end up writing a novel.
 
The first time I flew was my honeymoon., My mother is a clinically-diagnosed aviaphobic--we never flew anywhere growing up and I was never allowed to go on the trips to Europe, etc. with my class.

I was terrified of flying. I took Xanax and drank heavily when we flew for the honeymoon. Then 9/11 happened, and I swore I'd never fly again.

Well, eventually I had to fly for my job...and that broke the ice.... Thank God I flew with a friend and I had several drinks before flying and more sedatives. It was just this most recent flight to Vegas this year where I didn't drink or take pills. The second time I flew for work was 2 summers ago when there was a big terror wanring about airplanes-remember? I went to my boss and she was great but said it was a shame I wouldn't be delivering the presentation myself since I did the whole project.
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I tried to convince her to let me drive to Chicago from NY but she said no--she felt that was FAR more dangerous than flying and wouldn't approve it! I looked into trains, buses, you name it...in the end, I flew with my meds.

Honestly, despite what Tom Cruise thinks, medication can help people in these situations and be a far better alternative to stressing and "flipping" out.
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I'd talk to your doctor. I did and it was the best thing I could have done. I also have a non-addictive personality so it wasn't an issue for me to take a few and then stop.

Best of luck-I know how you feel.
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I second Jennifer''s Xanax recommendation. I''m a huge fan of the stuff. . .lol! It works to help relax you when needed.
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Oh I feel for you honey.

I haven''t flown in 22 years. ( I don''t wanna)
 
I hate to fly as well. I have been on a few really scary flights on very small planes. My hubby thinks it''s funny, but it''s not. Even my kids laugh at me when I''m white nuckled on a flight. It''s just the worst feeling in the world and I offer you my support.
 
Thank you so much everyone. It makes me feel better to know that I''m not crazy (well, at least not about this
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). I guess I am going to be making a phone call to the ol'' doc so that I can have something to keep me calm. I''m gonna have to. I don''t want to be known forever as "the crazy girl from NC that was single handedly responsible for a military escort because she was freaking out so badly"
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Jennifer, I didn''t know that they could clinically diagnose that! Ya learn something new every day.
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Michelle, how does xanax make you feel? I''ve never taken anything like that. Does it space you out? Does it last long? Will I know what planet I''m on...will it matter? lol.
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Nan...I don''t wanna either!
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Oh,Feydakin, don''t they only allow a 2 drink max on the plane????
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Kaleigh, h2b''s mother flew on a little teeny tiny plane many years ago and swore she''d never get on one again..and hasn''t. However, she''ll jump on a jet airliner at any given moment. Just don''t put her on a boat of any kind, lol.

Thank''s guys.
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I''ve sent you a PM.
 
I hope you don''t feel weird about this, because a fear of flying is very common. It doesnt matter if the fear is rational or irrational, its your fear, and hopefully you can find a way to overcome it.

Flying was always natural to me, I was a frequent flier before I could walk...visiting our place in FL multiple times a year, other vacations, flying to summer camp, back and forth from college, etc...on average a trip a month. I''ve always gotten onto planes with no problems, 9/11 didn''t phase me in the slightest, I mean, I was literally on the first flight out of reagan national when it was reopened...

...then this past April, I totally flipped out. I had a minor break down, crying in the bathroom, I didnt want to get on the plane, crying on the phone to my mom, to my bf, crying in my seat, I did not want to be there. I have no clue what it was. Anxious, sweaty, shaking...I just remember it being so scary for me to walk onto the plane, once I was in the air and we''d leveled off, I was totally fine though. I can''t explain it, it just really freaked me out. My last trip was canceled last weekend, but I have two coming up in August. I wrote a note in my calendar to remember to bring that up to my Dr...like an emergency stash of xanax might be what I need. Maybe that is what you need too? Even though that happened, I can''t imagine not flying anymore, I love exploring new places and there are so many things I want to see and I have friends scattered all over the country/world...so I hope that never happens again or I need to find something because that was the most unpleasant experience in my life thus far and I''m sure it was nothing compared to the anxiety and fear you''ve described.
 
You poor thing.
My husband, my big burly husband, is an extreme white knuckle flier.
Every once in a while it is unavoidable (too bad we can't all have tour buses like John Madden-he has not flown in decades, he takes his pimped out tour bus to all of his Monday Night Football gigs), and what works for my husband is Valerian and Kava Kava drops. And a few shots once we are aboard.
Xanax or Valium is also an excellent idea. Do what it takes. Good luck!
 
Don't the stats say something like more people get killed in car accidents than with plane crashes? I know sometimes if I let myself think about all the stuff that 'could' go wrong when flying, it's overwhelming!

However, LIVING life is frightening...you can't shy away from experiences on the fear that something bad will happen.

I say take the flight and take the first step towards conquering your fear. Exposure and Reaction, something therapists will say to you.

I second and third the drinking before you go or taking a Xanax or something..I have a coworker who hates to fly but she drinks a few before we take off and she's somewhat white knuckled but then relaxes.

Anyway good luck! Probably acknowledging it is the first step.
 
I feel the same way you do about flying. My DH and I were supposed to go to NYC 2 days after 9/11. We wound up going the next February (for a business trip for him) and I totally overmedicated myself by taking both Xanax and Benedryl! The bad thing was the meds didn''t kick in until after we landed so I spent our first night in NYC sleeping in our hotel room while my DH went to dinner with his co-workers.

I fill prescriptions for Xanax all the time for people flying. The lowest strength is 0.25mg and many docs will only prescribe 4 tablets -- 2 for the trip out (take 1 or 2 tablets) and 2 for the trip back. Xanax is much shorter acting than Valium so I would recommend that one first.

If your doc won''t prescribe Xanax (and many won''t unless you are seen by them first) then you can try some over-the-counter Benedryl. They are not the same type of drugs, but Benedryl can make you sleepy, thus relaxing you.

Good luck!
 
I do valium
 

Thanks so much everyone. I have talked to my doc about this when h2b flew so she knows my fears already.


I just don''t understand it. When I was 7 years old my grandparents talked my parents into letting me fly up to see them instead of them driving here 9 hours to get me and then another 9 hours to take me back to their house. My parents were very much against it but did finally allow them to send me a ticket. They wouldn''t agree to a flight home so they came and picked me up at the end of the summer. My grandparents were trying to expose me to life at a young age and apparently I really loved it. I was so disappointed that I couldn''t fly back. So much disappointed that I was a complete terror for the 9 hour drive home (I don''t remember that).


I want so badly to get over this. I don''t want it to ruin our lives because I''m a big chicken. I want to see the world. There is so much out there. Its even having an effect on when and where we get married. He asked me where I wanted to go for our honeymoon and I chose Charleston, SC because its driving distance. I don''t think he''s very keen on that idea..not that he doesn''t want to go to Charleston because we talk about going all the time..but I think its because he wants to take me somewhere special and exciting and not because its only six hours away by car. He''s even suggested an e-saver to somewhere close by for a little weekend getaway..just to get my feet wet again. The funny thing is that when I look up an e-saver and I think about where we can go I get all excited about it..but then the unsettling feelings creep in and over power any excitement that I may have felt.


I am determined to do this. I will do this.....


Give me strength............
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Oh you poor thing! As you can see, you are not alone in this. Many people are terrified of flying. Like Blue824, I was flying before I could even walk or talk. My parents are huge travelers and took us everywhere with them, even as babies, to get us accustomed to traveling, foreign countries, different cultures and also to help us become more mature and learn how to handle ourselves in unusual situations.

I love flying but I have to tell you, I say a prayer every time I get on a plane--and I''m NOT the praying type! I travel very often for work, at least once a month, so I have to find ways to not think about what "could" happen. I agree with everyone else--2 glasses of wine before boarding does the trick for me. Also, if you can get your hands on some, Xanax is great. It doesn''t make you disoriented--you just kind of chill out and there are no real after effects that I''m aware of. I also tried 10mg of Ambien when I went to Turkey this summer. It definitely put me out and I felt a little groggy after, but it wore off pretty fast. See if you can talk to your doctor about getting a prescription or if not, definitely have a drink. Also, bring things to keep yourself occupied: books, gossip magazines, Ipod. You can do it--don''t underestimate yourself!! Keep us posted!
 
I hate flying, but it won''t stop me from doing it. I do lots of breathing exercises and praying...

I have a friend who was mortified of flying, to the point of refusing to do so. Ironically, her father is a pilot. However, she took a ''fear of flying'' class at an airport and although she still gets anxious, she will definitely fly now. I would call up your local airport and see if there is anything... a month is probably too short to take the whole class, but they do teach you what each sound and sensation is so you can easily identify it when you''re actually flying.
 
I'm a frequent flier to long distance destinations. I still panic though. I don't like it. But, I have my routines. I always try to get the bulk head or exit aisle. Sometimes, I have a drink in the bar (even if it's 10:00 in the morning - hey, it's 5:00 somewhere). Always bring a very large water bottle & gum (helps with take off). When we start our asent, I sit back and enjoy the g-force and going fast. When we "lift off", I count to two minutes with my eyes closed chewing my gum or drinking my water. I've always heard that the first two minutes of the flight is the most problematic. Some how once up, I can settle down. I have my routines & pass the time with 1/2 hour milestones. Bring a good book or one of those dvd portable players. If I travel w/ someone, I bring a deck of cards. All of this to keep your mind off of being in the air.

This is my routine. Make your own to relax. Oh, and I always look at the Stewards/Stewardess - I figure if they are o.k. - I'm o.k.

Another thing - pick your seat wisely & ahead of time (you can always request the exit aisle when you arrive at the airport). The back of the plane is the bounciest. Personally, I like to be closer to the front, especially if there is a first class.

Mara is correct. Your safer on an airplane than in a car. The way I look at it is your number is up when it's up. At least with a plane crash it's quick and fatal, you get double endemity plus money from the airliner (pay with american express), and it's a notorius death. I've resigned myself to that.

Good luck. And, I've flown out of many NC airports. They are pretty smooth - no big winds or weather issues & plenty of airspace to ascend & come back down. Another thing that hubby does for me is to check the radar that day. If you are going to have weather issue going west, you will at least be prepared.
 
Do they have anything virtual like they do for pilots? I know that they have virtual flying programs that pilots use but I was wondering if there is something like that for first time passengers. Something that you can sit in that allows you to hear and feel all the things you may experience in real life only in a controlled invironment. It probably doesn't exist..but thought I would ask anyway. If it doesn't exist it would be really nice if someone created something like that.

ETA: Amant, I posted this right when you did..thanks, I'll check into them.
A roller coaster??
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F&I, thank you for the suggestions. I will keep those in mind. I wrote them down so that I will have them on hand.

Who knows..when this is over and done with he may just create a monster out of me. I hope that I get to the point that I don't want to go anywhere unless it's by plane.
 
I found a link in the last website posted and it brought me to Duke University''s information page on this. I''ve already sent them an email about VR treatments. I''m anxious to see what they tell me.
 
Oh sweetie, my sympathies to you!! I''ll try to stay away from the token "you''re gonna be fine" phrases. I highly agree with the Xanax suggestion, or possibly a nice dose of Valium. Seriously, these are prescription tranquilizers/relaxers that people with alot of anxiety/panic attacks get prescribed, I know because I''m one of them! I only take my valium when I''m really freaked out about something, but it does wonders!!

Regarding flying, I sorta understand because my DH is a little afraid of flying as well. When we went to Ireland a few months ago, he was so uptight and wouldn''t talk to me before we took off. He was just staring straight ahead and tight-lipped, his face pale! I tried so hard to cheer him up, and to make matters worse, we got delayed on the ground for two hours (in the plane) because of weather conditions to the south of us (we were flying north, I don''t know why it affected us
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) but whatever. So it wasn''t until 8 hours later when we arrived in Dublin that he calmed down completely...

I love to fly myself. I don''t know why, people think I''m crazy! I love when I have a trip and driving to O''Hare ( I LOVE that airport, my favorite airport in the world!!) to catch my plane. I go to Starbucks before my flight and sit at my gate and people-watch, wondering where everyone is going and why. Then we board and I love when the plane takes off, that''s my favorite part. I''m weird, I know! But I think flying is so interesting, I can''t imagine the days before planes!! what a small world it must have been!! I mean really, can you imagine taking a three-week long journey on a BOAT just to go to Europe. Ugh. Now we can be there in as little as 7 hours!

But again, that''s me. Did something happen on the plane when you were 7? Something you don''t remember maybe, but that scared the bejezusus out of you?? It''s interesting that you are so scared of something you did only once, and so long ago.....

Look into the xanax or valium, I really do think it will ease your fears when you are at the airport and boarding your flight. and try not to focus on the flight itself so much - think of the trip!! Think of having a great time with your husband on your trip and seeing a new place! Good luck
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I sympathize with you. However, it''s not an uncommon fear. While I''m not terrified of flying in general, I do get rather edgy if there is any turbulence at all. Generally, I will look at the flight attendents and if they look calm and cool, then I feel better.

On the other hand, my fiance, a retired Navy pilot, is terrified of flying. He says it''s because he knows too much. It''s also because at 6''3" with arthritis in his knees, he is phsyically very uncomfortable in a commercial coach seat. When we flew to NYC in May for my son''s graduation from law school, he took an anti-anxiety medication (can''t remember which one--Adavan??) which helped quite a bit.

As other posters have suggested, see your doctor. Better living through chemistry.
 
I feel the same way you do about flying.
I can''t write enough how much I am scarry flying. however I visit my parents every 2 month
by flying which takes about 10 hour and ESP flying over pacific ocean. I ''ve veen doing this for past 18 years.
also I travel lot because my DH loves it.
first time I took air plane was when I was 10 from japan to Italy for vacation with my familly
after that I went to all over the world and I had no plobrem but after I become 20years old
some experiance I start feel really scarry to flying.
I went to see many specailist for get over the panic attack.( least 10 Dr)
( my panic attack is shaking hand, can''t breath, pain the hart etc)

since 10 years ago I am taking strong pill from Dr for short fligh it''s make me very melow
somehow I can''t think clearly so I don''t feel the much scarry to flying.
I also take sleeping pill for long flight this pill make me lalmost past out like for least 8 hours.

I never drink any alcohol when I am flying. because if I do strange action casue drank + scarry
it''s going to be big penaluty ,that''s most I am affraied of.
so I never recommend to drink if you are really scarry flying like me.

I have to take flight sep/ 14.....just couple days after 9/11
but by the pill , it was ok.

what I can tell you is go see Dr and get some pill for it.
that''s really works.
 
D4M,

Even as I child I was obsessed with plane crashes/air disasters. One summer I was sure a plane was going crash into our house or into our car.:P
So, when I took my first trips I was nervous but didn''t have a choice.(visits to grandparents, family reunions etc)

I didn''t fly much again until going to Syracuse for school.. I used to be able to deal w/ flying pretty well. I''d take something...read, watch movies...sleep as much as possible. The thing I always hated was being in that tiny space for so long(esp int''l trips). I feel like breaking out, & feel so trapped since it''s not like you can pull over and get some air, stand on the ground.

So, after I transfered back to CA to USF. I didn''t fly much for years. Then meeting and marrying dh(from France), it was back to the skies. blech! It was easier flying with him or my parents plus I could still do the intoxication cop out. heehe

Now since I have ds and he''s still young.. the drug and snooze method of management is out of the question, so the old claustrophobia and old social anxiety(this is a crazy one, but it drives me nuts being the only or one of few brown people on flights, esp. when i was alone- i felt very conspicuous and uptight...it''s worse on domestic flights.. i find the int''l passengers and crew are less cheesy and bad-vibey)

I like business class when we can take it, more space and less folks. I feel more comfortable then but we can''t always afford that and the upgrade fairy is fickle at best. LOL!
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If you don''t have to stay alert w/ little ones, then I say sleep through as much of the flight as possible(herbally or pharmaceutically).
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there has been much helpful advice given already, so i just wanted to add my support and hope you find something that helps you to get through this.
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You guys are all so wonderful. Thank you for all this fantastic advice. While I am not glad that you have the feelings that you do when flying I am glad to know that its more normal than I thought. I have a regular checkup coming up in the next few weeks so it will be the perfect time to bring it up to her. It''ll be pretty easy since we''ve already had this discussion in the past.

Since I''ve never taken anything like that before I''m going to see if she will give me one as a tester just to see how I react to it. I''d rather know what to expect from it before hand than getting a whole bunch of surprises at once. At least I hope she''s willing to do that. If not then I''ll just ask for something for the flight..better than nothing.
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If I could reach through this screen I''d give every one of you a hug.
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Thank you. Very, very much.
 
I''m not usually afraid to fly...I don''t like being stuck in a small place for so long, though....

I had more trouble with it about 20 years ago.......I almost didn''t go on a trip to France because of some of the incidents that had ocurred back then......Halfway across the Pacific I was sure something was going to happen......My ex. told me to relax....we weren''t flying on an American carrier.....and then, while we were there they had an explosion in the Air France terminal in Portugal!!! When we arrived in JFK, they had to evacuate the terminal for something........

I also worked out A LOT back then, and my knees would swell or something, and it was very uncomfortable.....I had to try to get up and stand for awhile....
 
I 2nd third and fourth to Xanex..
 
Ativan...I think that''s how you spell it. I can''t read the Dr''s writing and I haven''t taken it to have it filled yet. Anyway, that''s what she prescribed for me yesterday. Has anyone taken it before? Is it like Xanax?? She said something about it giving you mild amnesia..forgetting what you''re afraid of..but I was too busy thinking about the story on the news that i had to sit through in the waiting room as I was waiting to talk to her about my fear of flying. I''m not even going to say what the story was about. I just couldn''t believe the irony. Ok, so maybe you guessed.


Hurry up October.
 
XANAX. That''s all I have to say LOL. That will do the trick
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Everything *will* be fine! Just seriously, get heavily medicated so it doesn''t ruin your trip!!!
 
Date: 8/16/2005 9:04:07 AM
Author: Diamonds4Me
Ativan...I think that''s how you spell it. I can''t read the Dr''s writing and I haven''t taken it to have it filled yet. Anyway, that''s what she prescribed for me yesterday. Has anyone taken it before? Is it like Xanax?? She said something about it giving you mild amnesia..forgetting what you''re afraid of..but I was too busy thinking about the story on the news that i had to sit through in the waiting room as I was waiting to talk to her about my fear of flying. I''m not even going to say what the story was about. I just couldn''t believe the irony. Ok, so maybe you guessed.


Hurry up October.
Click to expand...
that is how you spell it
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ativan is in the same class of antianxiety drugs as xanax and valium (along with a few others) known as benzodiazepines. they all work on the same receptor site, the differences being in the way they are metabolized.
i''m glad you were able to speak with your doctor about this, hopefully your trip will be smoooooth sailing (flying)
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