Food for Thought

[Anna0499]

While most of us around here can't wait for our blingies, me included, I thought I'd post this link. The recent thread on the costs of rings made me think of it.

http://withthisring.org/

I heard about this by chance on the radio the other day and I have to admit I had mixed reactions. I first thought that it was an amazing project but then I felt kind of sad that these women gave up their rings! And I don't even have one yet! Any thoughts?

 

[ladypirate]

It's a nice thought, but I don't see why they are encouraging women to give up their engagement rings. Why not just donate your time and/or money directly?

With the resale value on diamonds, you'd get more bang for your buck anyhow.

 

[Dreamgirl]

I will try to keep my comments on this cool so I don't get blasted for it. But seriously? Why give up your ring? Why not just donate money, or food, clothing? I honestly don't care for places that try and make you feel guilty for who you are and obligated to do something about it. Plus, what if they go and turn around and sell it for profit? There, I said it.....



"Go to your local jeweler and ask him to write an appraisal for your ring. The appraisal will need to describe the jewelry including the cut, the style, and estimated worth. Mail the jewelry with the form..."

 

[meresal]

I think everyone knows this in the back of their minds, just don't necessarily like being reminded of it. I do lots of volunteer work, and even got my company to start setting a monthly volunteer hour goal in our division that we began this month (and have already met, I might add!!!) These sites/programs make me feel like if I'm not giving up my jewelry to poverty stricken countries, then I'm not doing enough, and I completely disagree. I would volunteer my time and donate money to a non-profit that didn't try to sensationalize what they are doing by going to the extent of asking women for their engagement rings. Puleeez! I apologize, but this is a very sensitive subject for me.

 

[fieryred33143]

I would probably just donate the money and keep my ring.

But this is a great way for all of the women that are divorced to do something with their rings. I used to post on another site (Marriage and Divorce Yahoo Answers) where a lot of divorced women had no idea what to do with their rings (other than selling on ebay). I would probably do that.

My mom has some rings also...I''m going to pass along this site to her.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I admire those who can do this.

Personally, I am uncertain if I could ever part with my (eventual) wedding band and certainly not my engagement ring (also eventual). If was to upgrade my band at some point in my life, I could see the possibility of donating my wedding band. I could also see donation being an option if the marriage disolved. I feel that my e-ring will forever stay with me because I know how darn hard my SO is working to save up for this gift.

The rings would be too symbolic to me to part with even for a good cause. I would also like to be able to pass them on to my children. I am content to leave charitable contributions to typical cash or clothing donations.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:52:33 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
I feel that my e-ring will forever stay with me because I know how darn hard my SO is working to save up for this gift.


The rings would be too symbolic to me to part with even for a good cause. I would also like to be able to pass them on to my children. I am content to leave charitable contributions to typical cash or clothing donations.

Exactly. A ring isn''t just an item that we own and can easily donate like a pair of shoes, it has a lot of symbolic meaning to it.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:46:15 PM
Author: ladypirate
It's a nice thought, but I don't see why they are encouraging women to give up their engagement rings. Why not just donate your time and/or money directly?

With the resale value on diamonds, you'd get more bang for your buck anyhow.

Well, that's the thing that made me kind of question the organization's aims a bit...not their eventual goals, but their methods. They were very much proponents of rejecting materialism in all forms, so I think that's why they focus on diamonds. Most people wouldn't have a few thousand to donate but I think this group wants people to stop focusing on material wealth and distribute it to others in more "meaningful" ways. (Not that I agree that giving up your ring is the way to go!) They also said they get their projects constructed at cost so that's a plus. It was a really interesting presentation though. I found it really sad that they have to try to build the water wells near schools so children can bring water home because that's the only way some parents will let their children attend daily. It really just put things into perspective for me. I'm actually a huge supporter of KIVA because I like supporting lasting change, instead of just giving someone money good for one meal or whatever. I just thought this charity was interesting, given the topics around here.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:49:50 PM
Author: meresal
I think everyone knows this in the back of their minds, just don''t necessarily like being reminded of it. I do lots of volunteer work, and even got my company to start setting a monthly volunteer hour goal in our division that we began this month (and have already met, I might add!!!) These sites/programs make me feel like if I''m not giving up my jewelry to poverty stricken countries, then I''m not doing enough, and I completely disagree. I would volunteer my time and donate money to a non-profit that didn''t try to sensationalize what they are doing by going to the extent of asking women for their engagement rings. Puleeez! I apologize, but this is a very sensitive subject for me.

I definitely agree, I hate "guilt tactics" some charities have but I guess they work in some instances. Like I said, this group was very much focused on "radical giving" and not having material things. I agree with all of you that I feel my eventual ring would be too important/sentimental to part with, but it was a good reminder that while I obsess over the color/cut/clarity of my ring, there are people who don''t have clean water to drink.

I really didn''t intend to be a "Debbie Downer" to anyone here! I don''t see myself doing it, but I definitely would advocate the donation of old rings that are of "little value" (i.e. don''t wear anymore and wouldn''t be worth the trouble of selling on ebay) just because instead of sitting in a jewelry box it would really make a difference to some people.

 

[meresal]

ETA: When did it become necessary to make a person feel guilty about what they have, in order to give to others. Why can''t we just do it because we like helping other and love to see the change you make in another persons life, just by donating your time? We are so wrapped up in helping other countries (which I have no problem with), It''s just that the expenses for these projects aren''t covered by simply loving to lend a helping hand anymore or kids collecting pennies in their homeroom classes. You have to donate thousands of dollars and you don''t even get to experience it first hand. Really seeing those families tears of happiness, because you just provided them with something they never expected to see in an entire lifetime. You get to read about it on their website. I got carried away, I pologize. I''m done...

Date: 6/19/2008 3:00:33 PM
Author: Anna0499
I really didn''t intend to be a ''Debbie Downer'' to anyone here! I don''t see myself doing it, but I definitely would advocate the donation of old rings that are of ''little value'' (i.e. don''t wear anymore and wouldn''t be worth the trouble of selling on ebay) just because instead of sitting in a jewelry box it would really make a difference to some people.

Not a Debbi Downer at all...
My take on giving old rings, is this... Are they going to be happy that we have donated old jewelry? Or is it going to be thrown into a box with the title "Not Radical Enough" on the outside?

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:04:56 PM
Author: meresal
ETA: When did it become necessary to make a person feel guilty about what they have, in order to give to others. Why can't we just do it because we like helping other and love to see the change you make in another persons life, just by donating your time? We are so wrapped up in helping other countries (which I have no problem with), It's just that the expenses for these projects aren't covered by simply loving to lend a helping hand anymore or kids collecting pennies in their homeroom classes. You have to donate thousands of dollars and you don't even get to experience it first hand. Really seeing those families tears of happiness, because you just provided them with something they never expected to see in an entire lifetime. You get to read about it on their website. I got carried away, I pologize. I'm done...

I couldn't agree more. This reminds me of the movie About Schmidt......not exactly the same, but similar concept. He feels so guilty so writes checks all the time to send to the starving children

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I am sure I am going to get slammed for saying this BUT since we are on the topic of helping out the less fortunate - I wish more people focused more on their own communities and their needs! It''s fantastic that there are so many wonderful charities that help out in 3rd world countries. I am not arguing that these people do not need our help but I''m willing to bet your local homeless shelter needs time and money just as badly. Someimtes I get frustrated with our predisposition to solve other countries problems when we have our own poverty/crime stricken areas right outside our back doors.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:04:56 PM
Author: meresal
ETA: When did it become necessary to make a person feel guilty about what they have, in order to give to others. Why can''t we just do it because we like helping other and love to see the change you make in another persons life, just by donating your time? We are so wrapped up in helping other countries (which I have no problem with), It''s just that the expenses for these projects aren''t covered by simply loving to lend a helping hand anymore or kids collecting pennies in their homeroom classes. You have to donate thousands of dollars and you don''t even get to experience it first hand. Really seeing those families tears of happiness, because you just provided them with something they never expected to see in an entire lifetime. You get to read about it on their website. I got carried away, I pologize. I''m done...

Not a Debbi Downer at all...
My take on giving old rings, is this... Are they going to be happy that we have donated old jewelry? Or is it going to be thrown into a box with the title ''Not Radical Enough'' on the outside?

Good! I didn''t want everyone to think I was promoting this organization or anything, I just thought it''d make for good discussion. I''m not sure about the old rings thing...I know one of the women who had donated said her ring was not expensive by any means...which made me ask myself why she even donated it in the first place instead of the money! I got the impression that this organization was kind evangelical in a "creepy" way - sorry if that offends anyone but for some reason the way they spoke made me picture the ladies that came out of that Texas compound awhile ago...

This is the main reason I won''t be donating to this charity and I should''ve actually mentioned it earlier but I actually forgot until just now, after I talked about maybe donating old rings: the spokeswoman actually said that they would not build wells in places that would not accept Christianity!!!!! This was appalling to me...as if you have to convert to Christianity or you get no clean water! It''s outrageous!

I agree that nothing beats seeing your giving in action firsthand. My parents, both born & reared in Vietnam, have a charity organization set up over there and they make it a point to tell the priest (who handles distribution of money because the government would just take it all) that religion/belief in God DOES NOT MATTER and that the poorest who seek help are to get priority. Period.

 

[Dreamgirl]

LOL! I wasn't going to say anything but I will anyhow because I agree with Keepingthefaith. We are having so many troubles right now with our country (US), high gas prices, electricity is going up again here 37% I think, getting laid off from jobs (including myself).....when is a guy going to help us out? I mean, I get helping them out and all like Keepingthefaith says....thats great if someone wants to do that. But take a look at our own country. What about New Orleans? I just feel like we are heading in a bad direction myself.....I've donated things in my local area. I feel good enough with that. Im sure my hopeful ring will end up being the only nicest thing I will posses along with the meaning of it so I wont give it up.

I just hate that something makes you think...oh, I can't have nice things because there are starving people in the world. I have done what I can to help and thats good enough for me. I too, have my own life to live and work hard for the things that I have.

 

[meresal]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:10:11 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
I am sure I am going to get slammed for saying this BUT since we are on the topic of helping out the less fortunate - I wish more people focused more on their own communities and their needs! It's fantastic that there are so many wonderful charities that help out in 3rd world countries. I am not arguing that these people do not need our help but I'm willing to bet your local homeless shelter needs time and money just as badly. Someimtes I get frustrated with our predisposition to solve other countries problems when we have our own poverty/crime stricken areas right outside our back doors.

AMEN!!

My coworkers laughed at the fact that I said we could do at least 25 hours a month, just the 17 of us here in the Houston division. I offered to do the research, and found a day shelter that helps avg of 500 homeless each day on Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays. They have showers, an eating HALL, laundry service, and air conditioning. This month we have logged over 45 hrs to date, and 3 of my coworkers are there right now helping to bake bread for the meals they prepare tomorrow. It's 3 blocks away, and our company is all for it!! There are so many opportunities around your home town, that you could do anything. EVERYONE needs help in some way or another. It doesn't have to be a international, national, or even regional project. These shelters are usually run by your local chruches.

http://www.volunteermatch.org/

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:49:19 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
I will try to keep my comments on this cool so I don''t get blasted for it. But seriously? Why give up your ring? Why not just donate money, or food, clothing? I honestly don''t care for places that try and make you feel guilty for who you are and obligated to do something about it. Plus, what if they go and turn around and sell it for profit? There, I said it.....



''Go to your local jeweler and ask him to write an appraisal for your ring. The appraisal will need to describe the jewelry including the cut, the style, and estimated worth. Mail the jewelry with the form...''

I totally agree. Especially considering the re-sale on rings is typically lower anyway. Why not just donate your time/money?

Is this even legit? Does it check out? Seems kind of shady to me.

 

[Anna0499]

I might get blasted for this as well but...I feel that people should help BOTH in their own communities/country AND elsewhere...but I also believe that people can do whatever they want with their own money and have their motivations for doing so. I know Oprah was criticized for building those schools in Africa, but, when those critics have money like hers they can feel free to donate to whatever organizations they wish. Having travelled to several third world countries, I have to say that the need is so much greater there. I don't think it's necessarily our responsibility to monitor other countries, but many of them live under governments who don't care AT ALL if they even have food to eat, let alone who has a job. Very very few people, if any, die of starvation in the United States, while there is an obesity epidemic raging as we speak. There are no welfare/housing programs in other countries and people are truly left to fend for themselves. Also, I know in my parents' organization, $1 = 1.5 days salary for the average rural worker, so the money goes much farther. If I tried to donate $10 to a charity here, maybe $5 would actually get to a person who needs it. So, while I agree that local communities should be given donations as well, I would not say that they need the funding as badly. However, like I said above, people can do whatever they want with their money and I think there is enough to go around...just think if everyone in the U.S. donated (time, money, or otherwise) to SOME charity, what a difference it would make...

 

[Dreamgirl]

Ok, have to chime in on the welfare thing. Im sick of the people who are USING welfare. ex. continuously popping out children to get more welfare checks while driving "pimped out" Escalades because we have multiple families living in one house, or those who have kids and live in a house with a SO and claim to be married but not legally because then they cant get welfare checks. This is NOT what welfare was intended for. Ok, I feel better now.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:10:11 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
I am sure I am going to get slammed for saying this BUT since we are on the topic of helping out the less fortunate - I wish more people focused more on their own communities and their needs! It's fantastic that there are so many wonderful charities that help out in 3rd world countries. I am not arguing that these people do not need our help but I'm willing to bet your local homeless shelter needs time and money just as badly. Someimtes I get frustrated with our predisposition to solve other countries problems when we have our own poverty/crime stricken areas right outside our back doors.

Seriously!

LOL--I love how everyone thinks they're going to get slammed about this stuff but everyone so far has agreed. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way!

I mean, I think that charities that help 3rd world countries are fantastic--I've done a fair amount of volunteer work for one that focuses on the AIDS epidemic in Africa. However, with the way things our in our OWN country, I wish people would do more here. Although I have to say, as someone who works in nonprofit development, people here are extraordinarily generous--oftentimes moreso than you'd expect.

ETA: Anna, I think the micro-loan programs are fantastic! One of my favorite forms of charity, to be sure.

 

[Dreamgirl]

lol It is a little funny we are all saying that.....

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:28:52 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Ok, have to chime in on the welfare thing. Im sick of the people who are USING welfare. ex. continuously popping out children to get more welfare checks while driving ''pimped out'' Escalades because we have multiple families living in one house, or those who have kids and live in a house with a SO and claim to be married but not legally because then they cant get welfare checks. This is NOT what welfare was intended for. Ok, I feel better now.

OMG! YOU ARE HILARIOUS!

I agree though...my parents have a real estate company and always have to report people who are cheating the government, i.e. boyfriend living in their house and contributing to the household income but not telling welfare because then their benefits will get cut! I wish PSers ran the world! *sigh*

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:30:52 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 6/19/2008 3:10:11 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
I am sure I am going to get slammed for saying this BUT since we are on the topic of helping out the less fortunate - I wish more people focused more on their own communities and their needs! It's fantastic that there are so many wonderful charities that help out in 3rd world countries. I am not arguing that these people do not need our help but I'm willing to bet your local homeless shelter needs time and money just as badly. Someimtes I get frustrated with our predisposition to solve other countries problems when we have our own poverty/crime stricken areas right outside our back doors.

Seriously!

LOL--I love how everyone thinks they're going to get slammed about this stuff but everyone so far has agreed. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way!

I mean, I think that charities that help 3rd world countries are fantastic--I've done a fair amount of volunteer work for one that focuses on the AIDS epidemic in Africa. However, with the way things our in our OWN country, I wish people would do more here. Although I have to say, as someone who works in nonprofit development, people here are extraordinarily generous--oftentimes moreso than you'd expect.

ETA: Anna, I think the micro-loan programs are fantastic! One of my favorite forms of charity, to be sure.

Oh yes, I am addicted to Kiva! I feel like I'm starting/expanding their business with them and it's a really great way to give someone a "hand up" but not a "handout"...I'd like to hear what that guy on the corner with the can would say if you gave him $100 and asked him to pay it back in 6 months so you could let someone else use it.

 

[meresal]

LadyPirate: What do you do for non-profit development? Do you work for a specific corganization? or a region? I worked as a floor assistant on my summers home from school at an org called Attitudes and Attire out of Dallas. I''ve been hooked ever since!!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:36:49 PM
Author: Anna0499

Date: 6/19/2008 3:28:52 PM

Author: Dreamgirl

Ok, have to chime in on the welfare thing. Im sick of the people who are USING welfare. ex. continuously popping out children to get more welfare checks while driving 'pimped out' Escalades because we have multiple families living in one house, or those who have kids and live in a house with a SO and claim to be married but not legally because then they cant get welfare checks. This is NOT what welfare was intended for. Ok, I feel better now.

OMG! YOU ARE HILARIOUS!

hehe

Thanks! That made me smile! I said at the beginning of this thread I would keep it cool, but now Im starting my rants.....lol! I can tend to be like my favorite comedian Lewis Black, going off about things but without all the vulgarity and less animation. I try to behave though....

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:44:34 PM
Author: meresal
LadyPirate: What do you do for non-profit development? Do you work for a specific corganization? or a region? I worked as a floor assistant on my summers home from school at an org called Attitudes and Attire out of Dallas. I've been hooked ever since!!

I work as a program director (that's my official title, but I also end up doing a fair amount of development/fundraising, and that's what my background is in) for a local branch of a national non-profit organization in the health & human services field--sadly, I'm leaving my job because we're moving 1000 miles away in a little over a week, but I'm hoping to continue working with either the same organization (they have a branch in Portland) or another non-profit. I love it!

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:45:06 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 6/19/2008 3:36:49 PM
Author: Anna0499

Date: 6/19/2008 3:28:52 PM

Author: Dreamgirl

Ok, have to chime in on the welfare thing. Im sick of the people who are USING welfare. ex. continuously popping out children to get more welfare checks while driving ''pimped out'' Escalades because we have multiple families living in one house, or those who have kids and live in a house with a SO and claim to be married but not legally because then they cant get welfare checks. This is NOT what welfare was intended for. Ok, I feel better now.

OMG! YOU ARE HILARIOUS!

hehe

Thanks! That made me smile! I said at the beginning of this thread I would keep it cool, but now Im starting my rants.....lol! I can tend to be like my favorite comedian Lewis Black, going off about things but without all the vulgarity and less animation. I try to behave though....

Lewis Black is hilarious! I love his segments on the Daily Show.

 

[meresal]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:53:20 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 6/19/2008 3:44:34 PM
Author: meresal
LadyPirate: What do you do for non-profit development? Do you work for a specific corganization? or a region? I worked as a floor assistant on my summers home from school at an org called Attitudes and Attire out of Dallas. I''ve been hooked ever since!!

I work as a program director (that''s my official title, but I also end up doing a fair amount of development/fundraising, and that''s what my background is in) for a local branch of a national non-profit organization in the health & human services field--sadly, I''m leaving my job because we''re moving 1000 miles away in a little over a week, but I''m hoping to continue working with either the same organization (they have a branch in Portland) or another non-profit. I love it!

Grant writing, I''m guessing?? My mom did that for A&A once she sold her company. That''s how I ended up doing part-time work for the organization.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:55:13 PM
Author: ladypirate
Lewis Black is hilarious! I love his segments on the Daily Show.

I love ol Lew.

He''s MY BOY! lol

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/19/2008 4:01:47 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 6/19/2008 3:53:20 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 6/19/2008 3:44:34 PM
Author: meresal
LadyPirate: What do you do for non-profit development? Do you work for a specific corganization? or a region? I worked as a floor assistant on my summers home from school at an org called Attitudes and Attire out of Dallas. I''ve been hooked ever since!!

I work as a program director (that''s my official title, but I also end up doing a fair amount of development/fundraising, and that''s what my background is in) for a local branch of a national non-profit organization in the health & human services field--sadly, I''m leaving my job because we''re moving 1000 miles away in a little over a week, but I''m hoping to continue working with either the same organization (they have a branch in Portland) or another non-profit. I love it!

Grant writing, I''m guessing?? My mom did that for A&A once she sold her company. That''s how I ended up doing part-time work for the organization.

I do end up writing a lot of grants (I''ve done six small ones this week for an upcoming event and have another two big ones to do before my last day next Friday!) I also do event planning, represent us at health fairs, manage the programs and services that we provide in the community, and do a lot of interfacing with the public (taking cold calls, sending out information, etc.)

 

[surfgirl]

Well, I''ll chime in from the prospective of an international aid worker...I work in Africa and Asia and I think it''s really lame to guilt people into giving up their wedding rings for a charity organization. Just on that alone I''d never give to that org. Aside from the fact that a country "singer" is behind it and I have no idea how they actually use their money. I also am offended that this site uses the term "third world" as if people living in impoverished countries aren''t really living in the same world we all are. They are. They have a lot less than we do, that''s the difference. But they''re not living in some magical land in another dimension.

Basically, I think people should give because they are inspired or moved to do so. For whatever the reason. But guilting people into giving seems dishonest to me. When people are educated on an issue and they feel compelled to give, they give. But please, dont try to guilt me into giving because that just wont work with me.