? for LIW''s and alumni, are there times when a large diamond is not appropriate?

[goldenstar]

Hi all,

I''m looking at stones in the 2.5 - 3 ct range. Do you think that there are times when a larger stone is too flashy? I''m going to be an attorney, and I don''t want people to get the wrong impression about me. I was thinking that I''d wear a w-band alone if I''m in court or meeting new clients for the first time. I don''t want to draw attention to myself in the wrong way. Am I overthinking this?

Do you think that 3 ct would be very noticable by others, or would people not really care/see it?
Are there times when its better to be more "modest" (for lack of a better word)?

I would love to hear from people with 3 ct or larger stones, do you keep it on all the time and why or why not. But all of your opinions would be fab.

 

[RoseAngel04]

My e-ring center stone isn''t in the 2.5-3 carat range, for it would look very silly

on my tiny fingers, but I think whatever makes you happy you should go for it. It''s your symbol of love and whatever you and your FI/DH want that to be small, large, plain etc you should do it.

I''m not sure if there''s an unwritten rule that attorney''s don''t need to have flashy bling...is there?! If not then I''d say where it...

 

[robbie3982]

Mine isn''t in that range either, but I think whether or not it will look too big depends on where you live. For example, having a 2 ct where I live in Youngstown, OH, it would look huge, but in LA or NY, it would blend in a bit more. I think whether or not you wear it to work should depend on what kind of clients you''ll be having. If you''re going to be doing work representing people of a much lower socioeconomic status, it might not be appropriate.

 

[ladykemma]

maybe you could have ring a and ring b

ring a = big bling (the one you really want)
ring b = tiny bling, like 1/3 carat solitaire

and a plain wedding band

for wearing in different circumstances.

edited to add: I would pick up a tiny 0.25-0.35 carat solitaire secondhand, on ebay or pawn shops. for coupla hundred.

liz taylor has a tiny quarter carat solitaire that she wears sometimes.

 

[goldenstar]

Date: 9/23/2006 5:47:12 PM
Author: robbie3982
Mine isn''t in that range either, but I think whether or not it will look too big depends on where you live. For example, having a 2 ct where I live in Youngstown, OH, it would look huge, but in LA or NY, it would blend in a bit more. I think whether or not you wear it to work should depend on what kind of clients you''ll be having. If you''re going to be doing work representing people of a much lower socioeconomic status, it might not be appropriate.

I live in San Francisco, so I think it would blend in since its a big city. Next summer I''m working for the district attorney''s office and I''ll have the ring by then. I think I might get a small CZ to wear. Eventually I''ll probably get a little solitare to wear sometimes. I like that idea.

 

[KimberlyH]

goldenstar,

I do not have an ering with a stone that size so I can''t share personal experience, but see no reason why you shouldn''t if it is what you want and you and your future husband agree on. I find myself playing with my ering and wedding ring, sometimes I wear both other times I only wear my wedding ring (it''s a 3/4 eternity, fairly thin) it depends on what I am up to every day (hanging around the house, going to a play, etc). You will most likely do the same and can wear your ering when you are comfortable doing so (out to dinner w/ friends etc.) and not when you are in situations where it makes you uncomfortable (when dealing with clients who are of a much lower socioeconomic status or in places where you do not feel safe) you can just wear your wedding band. I almost had my rings saudered (sp?) and am glad the jeweler convinced me otherwise. Now I can''t wait to get a second band that matches my original wedding band so I have more options!

 

[ephemery1]

I really wouldn''t be concerned about a ring in the 2.5-3 carat range. I think nowadays that size range is becoming so much more common, especially in cities, that the only people who would really notice are diamond-obsessors like ourselves! But before I started seriously ring-shopping, I truly had no idea what was considered "big" and how much diamonds cost. I honestly think most of the general population probably just thinks "oh, nice ring" and has no idea whether you''re wearing 1 carat or 5!

So no worries... enjoy your ring, and if you ever feel self-conscious for any reason, just wear the wedding band alone or a CZ.

 

[jesterjigger]

I picked my ring, just for that reason (it''s right around a carat). I''m in the Air Force and wanted something that wouldn''t be a huge distraction or seem too flashy. I already get tons of comments on my ring, so I''m glad I didn''t go any bigger. I think you should go with whatever you like, but it doesn''t hurt to take into consideration how it will look/effect your work environment.

 

[FacetFire]

Honestly, I do find that size too flashy for work at a DA''s office. For work at a big firm where you are serving big money clients, the size would be fine. My e-ring is 2.3 carats and I find it too flashy for a lot of job situations. I would definitely buy a 3/4 - 1 carat CZ or a simple diamond band to wear instead while you work at the DA''s office. Any idea what kind of legal work you plan on doing afterwards?

 

[Julian]

I'm in the minority, but I think you should get and wear the size you want. Of course, when you are working with underprivileged clients, you can always wear a plain wedding band! I have a plain band for the times I don't feel a 3ct. would be appropriate.
If you are thinking about being understated, maybe you could put the 3 ct. into a beautiful SIMPLE setting.

The setting could pump it up or frame it nicely so that it's not too distracting. I mean, that's what wedding bands can be -- to pump it up with more bling or to tone it down with simple metal.

More toys for you!

I think most people understand that being elegant is part of the job. I mean, as an attorney -- you are required to look powerful and trustworthy for your clients. That means you wear suits and pumps to work. It does not mean dress down to your clients' socioeconomic level. I mean, you're appearing before a judge and in many cases, a jury. And the other side dresses just as nicely. I am sure that your clients, whether rich or poor, want you to look your best before a judge.

That isn't to say flash bling left and right. But like an expensive suit, jewelry can also be understated and classic. It won't scream, "I AM RICH!!!" Its value is intrinsic and beautiful. I say get what you both want and wear it with joy & modesty. The way you wear it will make it appropriate. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!

 

[goldenstar]

Date: 9/24/2006 10:06:53 AM
Author: FacetFire
Honestly, I do find that size too flashy for work at a DA''s office. For work at a big firm where you are serving big money clients, the size would be fine. My e-ring is 2.3 carats and I find it too flashy for a lot of job situations. I would definitely buy a 3/4 - 1 carat CZ or a simple diamond band to wear instead while you work at the DA''s office. Any idea what kind of legal work you plan on doing afterwards?

I was thinking estate planning or real estate litigation. I think in that situation 3 ct might work, depending on who my clients are. I definitely plan to have something small and conservative to wear. I think that if i had a flashy ring i would appear less trustworthy and more materialistic to some clients.

Everyone''s thoughts are very helpful. I don''t want to be too showy all the time, but my bf and i also really like the 3 ct size.

 

[FacetFire]

Date: 9/24/2006 9:13:06 PM
Author: goldenstar

Date: 9/24/2006 10:06:53 AM

Author: FacetFire

Honestly, I do find that size too flashy for work at a DA''s office. For work at a big firm where you are serving big money clients, the size would be fine. My e-ring is 2.3 carats and I find it too flashy for a lot of job situations. I would definitely buy a 3/4 - 1 carat CZ or a simple diamond band to wear instead while you work at the DA''s office. Any idea what kind of legal work you plan on doing afterwards?

I was thinking estate planning or real estate litigation. I think in that situation 3 ct might work, depending on who my clients are. I definitely plan to have something small and conservative to wear. I think that if i had a flashy ring i would appear less trustworthy and more materialistic to some clients.


Everyone''s thoughts are very helpful. I don''t want to be too showy all the time, but my bf and i also really like the 3 ct size.

I was thinking about going into estate planning at one point, and I definitely agree that it''s an area where your bling won''t be too much. Can I ask what size finger you have? One of my friends is a lawyer at a big firm in NYC and she has a size 8 finger and a 3 carat diamond, and her job, her city, and her finger size make it a wonderful size for her to wear everyday. I really do think there are a number of factors that go into determining what size diamond a woman feels comfortable wearing on a daily basis. I feel comfortable wearing my 2.3 carat pretty much all the time...I feel like it''s a great everyday size, big enough to enjoy and appreciate and stand out, but not so big as to draw too much unwanted attention. Even so, I do get looks and comments every once in a while that make me uncomfortable. I tried on a 2.75 carat RB once and it was just too blingy for me to feel comfortable wearing. I tried wearing it into a restaurant, but I just felt like it was screaming "notice me" to everyone. Obviously, it wasn''t, but I found my comfort point didn''t extend over 2.5 carats. For me, the setting had a lot to do with it also. I felt much more comfortable wearing a lower solitaire style than a three-stone or one with small diamonds all along the shank. Okay, I''m babbling here. Anyway, I guess what I''m saying is that only you can really determine what you are comfortable with wearing and in what situations. But good luck and enjoy!

 

[larussel03]

Honestly, I think whatever you want and you and/or your FI can afford and are willing to get is appropriate. What's important, I think, is the way that you wear it...if you're comfortable with a larger stone, go for it. If not, go smaller. I think it'd be absolutely breathtaking, so whatever you choose, wear it proudly and dont forget pics!!

ETA: and mine is almost 1ct...although to show how much people know, one person asked if it were larger, and another asked if it were 1/2 carat...

 

[diamondfan]

Golden, I think it really depends on where you live and what the norm is. I am 40. When I got engaged at 24 I had a round stone, 1.53 carats. It was fine, I was in graduate school getting my masters in clinical psychology and was going to classes at night sometimes, getting out at 10:00 pm. I felt fine with my ring. Then we moved from Los Angeles to the East coast and since my stone was set in yellow gold with a pretty modern look (not my taste but designed by family friend of hubby's so it was a sensitive issue) I decided to change the setting. In checking out my options I discovered that the stone was not super, and I really wanted another shape. My hubby went to Tiffany's and got me a stunning three stone ring, emerald cut, with a three carat center and one carat on each side. Truly a gorgeous ring, E/VS1 and just lovely. BUT, when I was turning 40 (I had had the ring for about 5 years at the time) I decided I wanted something really major. Since Tiffany's has an upgrade policy my wheels started spinning. He finally said okay and I now have another emerald cut (LOVE THEM) and it is 9.22 carats with tapered baguettes. I got varied comments from OMG how huge is that to Oh, I would never wear something that large. I shrug it off. I do not work, but do charity work and also go to a lot of events with my husband. I have certainly seen bigger (but not necessarily nicer) and smaller lovely rings. I do pretty much wear mine all around unless I decide I am not comfortable or my hubby has a sensitivity. I tend not to travel with it unless I am sure I will be in controlled settings most of the time, like I wore it to London and Rome this summer and locked it in the safe if we were going on walks etc. You could certainly wear your band in court, and know some people WILL notice and others will not even see it as being sizeable. It so depends on the setting and where you live and what types of people are around at the moment. Get what you want and can afford and see how you feel about it, the band is always a tasteful and simple option if you are concerned.

 

[goldenstar]

My ring size is 5. I''ve tried on different size stones to see how it would look. 3 definitely looks large, but i love it! i actually like to be the center of attention, but in the workplace i want it to be for my work, not my appearance

 

[diamondfan]

Then use the band when you want to be more low key and wear the stone when you want to be noticed for your bling!

 

[Larissa]

I think there are definately times when bigger is worse. I work with lower income families and sometimes even the .47 rock was too big and noticable. However, with what you want to go into, probably not.

I do agree with the idea of keeping a simplier wedding band or eternity band for when you don''t want all that weight on one rock.

 

[eleguin]

Hi Goldenstar, I think it really depends on where you''ll be working and what kinds of clients you''d be dealing with. I''m also an attorney, I work in a large law firm in NYC, where every other female attorney has a relatively large stone. I do mainly real estate finance for large corporations, so having a 2-3 carat stone in this environment wouldn''t be uncomfortable at all. But it all depends on the environment that you are in. As a general rule, I''d say that you can wear any size stone that you like and should wear it without guilt