sweetjettagirl04
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2007
- Messages
- 469
I would highly recommend doing it, if you're in the position where you're going crazy to get a timeline of sorts.
Back story - J has had my ring since October, and I'm going nuts thinking about it. Once every few weeks, I get this LIW-itis where I just get really frustrated that it hasn't happened yet. So, I was talking to my best friend about this very subject last week, trying to figure out what he's waiting for, yada yada yada, and after our conversation I was compelled to write my feelings down. Not necessarily for him, for me, to just get it out there. I wrote out my feelings in a non-emotional way, straightforward and devoid of any sort of nagging - for lack of a better word. That made me feel better about it. I kept thinking about it that night, and, after re-reading it several times, decided to slip it in his wallet so he could read it the next morning at work (this was last Saturday and he's only there for a few hours, and doesn't have much to do). He came home in the afternoon, bearing flowers and food, for no apparent reason. We sat down to eat lunch, and he says to me "Thank you for writing that letter. It makes me understand how you feel, and I appreciate you telling me honestly what you think about what is going on. I just need a little more time to get things worked out (aka - THE PLAN)"
In the letter, I told him that I wasn't trying to pressure him, I just needed some sort of timeline to go by - because we were "lapped" by a close friends of ours, and I, as silly as it seems, was almost resentful to go through the wedding stuff again without being engaged myself (I know, this is childish- I fully admit it - but that's how I felt at the time - so please don't burn me for saying it!) and it was almost like torture when we received other save the dates, etc. I also told him that I'm tired of being his girlfriend, I want to be his wife and start planning our lives together. I think this is what hit home the most for him. I don't think I ever verbalized this to him, so he didn't understand why I would kirk out every once in a while - which hasn't happened in about a month. There have been reasons he's given me over the past months as to why it hasn't happened yet - and I addressed them in the letter as well.
Fast track to super bowl sunday. Our beloved Giants won, as you may know, and after the game (and quite a few beers) he confessed to me that if he had the ring on his person, he would have proposed to me at the end of the game, which I wouldn't have opposed! I took the opportunity, since he brought it up, to ask him kindly "what's the hold up?". To which he replies "I lost my courage to talk to your dad when I was going to". Well, at least now I know WHY this hasn't happened yet. They (he and my dad) have a great relationship. But, from the guys perspective - that is the hardest thing for them to do.
Moral of the story (and I applaud you if you read this entirely!) is - don't be afraid to do it. I'm better writing my feelings than having a conversation, especially with a matter of such importance that I can get emotional about easily, and I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Instead of worrying about it, now I'm really excited about the little time I have left as a girlfriend.
Back story - J has had my ring since October, and I'm going nuts thinking about it. Once every few weeks, I get this LIW-itis where I just get really frustrated that it hasn't happened yet. So, I was talking to my best friend about this very subject last week, trying to figure out what he's waiting for, yada yada yada, and after our conversation I was compelled to write my feelings down. Not necessarily for him, for me, to just get it out there. I wrote out my feelings in a non-emotional way, straightforward and devoid of any sort of nagging - for lack of a better word. That made me feel better about it. I kept thinking about it that night, and, after re-reading it several times, decided to slip it in his wallet so he could read it the next morning at work (this was last Saturday and he's only there for a few hours, and doesn't have much to do). He came home in the afternoon, bearing flowers and food, for no apparent reason. We sat down to eat lunch, and he says to me "Thank you for writing that letter. It makes me understand how you feel, and I appreciate you telling me honestly what you think about what is going on. I just need a little more time to get things worked out (aka - THE PLAN)"
In the letter, I told him that I wasn't trying to pressure him, I just needed some sort of timeline to go by - because we were "lapped" by a close friends of ours, and I, as silly as it seems, was almost resentful to go through the wedding stuff again without being engaged myself (I know, this is childish- I fully admit it - but that's how I felt at the time - so please don't burn me for saying it!) and it was almost like torture when we received other save the dates, etc. I also told him that I'm tired of being his girlfriend, I want to be his wife and start planning our lives together. I think this is what hit home the most for him. I don't think I ever verbalized this to him, so he didn't understand why I would kirk out every once in a while - which hasn't happened in about a month. There have been reasons he's given me over the past months as to why it hasn't happened yet - and I addressed them in the letter as well.
Fast track to super bowl sunday. Our beloved Giants won, as you may know, and after the game (and quite a few beers) he confessed to me that if he had the ring on his person, he would have proposed to me at the end of the game, which I wouldn't have opposed! I took the opportunity, since he brought it up, to ask him kindly "what's the hold up?". To which he replies "I lost my courage to talk to your dad when I was going to". Well, at least now I know WHY this hasn't happened yet. They (he and my dad) have a great relationship. But, from the guys perspective - that is the hardest thing for them to do.
Moral of the story (and I applaud you if you read this entirely!) is - don't be afraid to do it. I'm better writing my feelings than having a conversation, especially with a matter of such importance that I can get emotional about easily, and I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Instead of worrying about it, now I'm really excited about the little time I have left as a girlfriend.
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