Friend obsessed with getting married !

[blissfulbride]

I got engaged, and then 2 month later she did. I was happy for her, and we both had being engaged in common. But not even 5 months after, she broke it off because she couldn''t be with him. She told us she wasn''t inlove with him, and had been cheating on him while engaged. She then started dating the guy she was having the affair with, and started to pressure him to propose. He didnt, and they broke up. Now she is with a new guy( who she had on the side lines since she was engaged,) and has seen her history. She moved in with him after just a month of dating. 4 months now, and she is talking about marrying him too.third guy and she has the same plan. Whatever happened to not rushing things and if its meant to be it will. When we got engaged we planned to get married 2 years from the date and everyone was like,so long. but we are so glad we waited because we were able to live together for 2 years first. 4 years together before the wedding.

I worry about my friend and the signals she is giving off to the men she is dating.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Do you think she would be offended if you bought her a book on co-dependency? Or do you think she might already realize she''s co-dependent and would be open to learning more about it (specifically how to overcome it).

 

[blissfulbride]

Yeah she would be, and I wouldn''t dare lol

 

[purrfectpear]

Some people just don''t understand "rebound"

They break up, meet the new guy within months, are engaged before 6 months have even passed, and think the marriage is on firm ground. Good luck to them because they will need it

 

[trillionaire]

I can''t tell if she is more excited to get married quickly or divorced...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Date: 10/1/2008 1:29:37 PM
Author: blissfulbride
Yeah she would be, and I wouldn''t dare lol

Bummer, until she recognizes that she has a very unhealthy pattern in relationships and is a textbook codependent she will never overcome it. She will bounce from man to man regardless of whether she''s dating or married...she''s got a tough road ahead of her.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Oh Blissful - I have a friend who was just like yours. It got to the point where I really didn''t listen much to her and her ideas because I knew as soon as the man tried to buy a little time (which, in my opinion, he was entitled to do) she was out the door claiming he was not serious. It wasn''t until I finally said, "have you ever thought that maybe you are the one who isn''t "serious" because all you are doing is focusing on where you want the relationship to be instead of where it is?" that woke her up to the reality of what she was doing. She''s currently taking a break from relationships trying to take some time to get to know herself.

I''ve notived many people rushing into engagements and marriages and it does make me cringe. I have two friends who were engaged 4 months after they met, married about a year later and are having very big problems adjusting to the marrige because they are still getting to know each other. I do not see the benefit of rushing anything in life - nevermind something as big as marriage.

 

[blissfulbride]

I love her dearly, but I have a tough road ahead for myself as well lol. having to listen to all this non-sense. I just dont understand way she is always projecting the future with every man she meets. I use to date and hope for the best not got start to saks to try on wedding gowns.

 

[GoingCrazy29]

She is definitely co-dependent. It also sounds like she might be more into the ring/wedding/attention than the actual marriage. This happens way too often these days