Grand entrance + first dance? (long stressed out rant...)

[selflove]

I think I might have had my first bridezilla moment today...I started arguing with one of my BMs and the banquet manager at our reception venue about going into our first dance when we do the ''grand entrance''. They were like "no, you typically don''t do the first dance until after the dinner" and I was like "But I want it to be a GRAND entrance and we twirl into our first dance and THEN we start dinner and the mingling." They thought I meant that I wanted to get everyone out on the dance floor before the dinner and I was like "No, just us, alone dancing together our first dance, just one song, and then no more dancing until after dinner." And they were like "Well, it''s not typically done until after the dinner but I see how you could do that."

So am I weird?! Is this just a faux pas?!? The bride and groom did this at the last wedding I attended and I thought it made sense, it was cute and it flowed well. I honestly can''t remember what specifically I''ve seen at other weddings b/c I didn''t pay attention (until it was time to plan my own).

I guess I got a little irritated with my BM b/c the whole time she kept saying "At my wedding we did this..." "At my wedding we had..." And she made a catty comment about the chairs ("Oh I can see why you want chair covers.") So when they both made the comment about the grand entrance dance I think I snapped a little. I guess I have been a little bit stressy about this whole ''event'' and the perception that people will have of it. I had been fighting it pretty well for a while but this nagging dread of being on the spot, the center of attention, *my* day, blah blah blah is creeping back into my brain and stressing me out.

I just want to get married and have a party but I feel like the whole world is going to be judging it. Which is really silly b/c the people who are going to be at my wedding are really laid-back, non-arrogant, family and friends who love and support us. Why do I lose sight of that and let these little harmless comments affect me like that?? Do I need a therapist? A drink? (hee hee...trying to get my sense of humor back!) Ugh!! But at least it helps to have an outlet in which to rant about it.

 

[AChiOAlumna]

Can I give my input based on my experience?! We should''ve had the first dance upon making our grand entrance...my parents wanted it, but I was the "Bridezilla" and insisted it needed to be after dinner....guess what? (As usual) My parents were right...here''s why...

If you wait, your guests will not dance or do anything other than eat and sit and socialize until you and your groom dance your first dance...people get restless, bored, etc, while you''re making your rounds inbetween courses to thank your guests. I had people leaving right after our first dance because they were tired and restless...we still had a great time, but we (okay...I) hadn''t taken our guests into consideration when we were planning the itinerary of the evening.

All the weddings we''ve been to where the bride/groom have their first dance immediately seem to have a better flow. People will dance inbetween meal courses...the band/DJ can moderate the activity inbetween courses as well...The choice of activity caters well to the guests and allows them to "do" something active while you make your rounds....it just works better overall...

Hope this helps!!!

 

[qtiekiki]

We did our first dance after our grand entrance. It''s quite the norm these days. I personally think it''s better this way because you get the full attention of your guests (they are not finishing their dinner, etc).

On the stress, you don''t need therapy. It''s very easy to take small comments personal because you put so much of your energy planning it. Just go get a drink and forget what they said because they obviously don''t know the new trends in weddings.

 

[JessesGrl]

We did our first dance RIGHT after the entrance...they announced the bridal party, then Jesse and I and we went directly to "the dance"...both Jesse and I were nervous about it so it was a relief to get it over with!

 

[MelissaSue]

You are not at all weird. That is what we are doing.. gonna do the first dance before dinner, then after just have the father daughter dance and hten get the party going.. I actually saw on some wedding show, it was a wedding coordinator telling the people that its actually usually better to do the first dance before dinner, because if you make people sit around too long after dinner, they never really get into the party.. you know?

Most importantly.. its YOUR wedding.. so tell the banquet manager to shove it and that is what you are going to do!

 

[curlygirl]

Since it''s so fresh in my mind, I''ll tell you what we did. They introduced us and we went right into our first dance. Then there was a whole dance set before the first course so the party got started immediately. I thought the first dance would come later in the night but it actually worked out really well this way. People were already feeling a buzz after the cocktail hour so we got them dancing right away. Whatever you decide is the right choice so don''t think there is any way you are "supposed" to do it and don''t let anyone bully you into doing things any way other than how you want.

 

[selflove]

Woo hoo! Glad to know, for once, that somehting I want to do is actually typical and is the norm!

And my stress was greatly relieved this morning when we went to church at our chapel...it totally put into perspective for me what the whole freaking event is for: our marriage. I just felt at peace in the chapel and just so excited that I was sitting next to my future husband and that all of this is for us to begin our married life together.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

That''s what we did too. We actually didn''t have a grand entrance at all (too shy) but during the cocktail hour, we did our first dance and the parents'' dance, and then the main dancing started after dinner. I don''t think it''s strange at all!

 

[Faerievert]

I just want you to know that you''ve inspired me to do my first dance when we enter. I was told it was supposed to be done after dinner too! I''m not sure if I''m doing a father/daughter dance, or anything like that, but I''ll do that later if I decide to include it. All eyes are on you when you enter anyway, why not make good on the moment?

 

[selflove]

Faierivert: We will also do some of those *special* other dances after the dinner too. My banquet manager agreed that would work. (for whatever THAT''S worth!)

 

[pebbles]

Well, I''m glad your banquet manager said it would work, because I was going to say that some locations won''t allow the dancing until the main meal is finished because it would create too much traffic with guests going to and from the dance floor and the wait staff trying to clear off the tables. We wanted to have our first dance after our announcement but our location wouldn''t allow it for the above reason. They said they had tried it in the past and there was just too much confusion. We also had 300+ people so that made sense in our situation.