Grandma''s Diamond vs. Dream Ring- Help Me Decide (Oh, and an appology, too)

[Dani511]

Hello all!

First let me say that recently there was a little bit of friction and a lot of misunderstanding concerning a post (not the origional poster) of mine in SMTR. I was away this weekend, so I wasn't able untill recently to see some of the end results of it. I would just like to say, for the record, that I sincerely meant no harm and hate to start any trouble at all! I was afraid that I would not be welcome here anymore, but I honestly didn't mean to offend, and I do not wish to leave pricescope. That being said, I would like to continue posting, and hopefully I will still receive advice and support, and perhaps even be able to post my ring here when I do get engaged!

That being said, on to the topic at hand. My BF (or maybe I shouldn't be afraid to say FF) and I are more serious than ever about getting engaged (Thank God! and Knock on wood! I hate to even write that for fear of a jinx! LOL). Origionally, we were going to use the diamond that my paternal grandfather gave my grandmother when they were engaged in 1948. Here is all I know about that diamond: it is round, it is not a modern cut, nor is it a typical old mine cut or old european cut. It looks more like a modern round brilliant. It has a ton of sparkle and brilliance. It is about 1.00-1.10 carats, approx. G color, about a VVS1 or 2, and probably at least an excellent cut. Jewelers have been impressed, going as far as to say it is one of the nicest older cuts they have seen, and certainly one of the whitest. I was very happy about that.

Here is the thing, though. Neither I nor my BF (or FF, LOL) have ever really liked a round shape. It would never be our first choice. We both love Marquise diamonds, and I love the way they look on finger. On top of that, I like big jewelry and big rings, and would really love to have over a carat.

I just never thought I could have one, so I didn't think much of it.

Then, we saw a gorgeous (or we thought so, anyway) 1.62 carat (looks more like 2 carats) center marquise diamond, H, VS2, GIA cert with two .35 side pears ( H, SI1). I was able to see it in natural sunlight and it has a lot of sparkel and minimal bowtie affect. It has a white gold head and yellow gold (18k) band, catherdral setting ( yellow is not my first choice, but it looks great b/c the diamonds are all that you really see anyhow, and I could always have it changed to white at a later time). I usually love a white gold or platnium setting with a halo, pave diamonds, and filligree work, etc. (esp. to dress up the one carat I have), and this plain setting is not characteristic of that, but there is something about it that I can't shake...it is very ME! It is beautiful, we both LOVE it. It is sitting in the show case at a local B&M, untouched and unwanted for many months. The guy wants $12,500 for it.

We would like to argue that it is not a popular cut right now, it has been sitting around for a while, the economy is in bad shape so it's not like everyone is just spending that sort of money freely right now, and we want to offer $9000 for it. He (BF) would be so mad at me for saying, but I want to chip in for it to help out, otherwise I would have to wait much longer for it. I have no problem doing this, since it will "all come out in the wash" so to speak in the end, anyhow.

So my questions are: Should I forget about my dream ring and just re-set my grandmother's diamond? (it would be quite sentimental and save a lot of money for right now, but it is not our first choice. If we don't use it, I would wear it as a RHR) Is this guy asking a fair price for the marquise? Is it reasonable of us to ask $9000 for it? What do you ladies (or gentlemen) think? I appreciate the advice in advance!

 

[Dani511]

Wow.

36 views.

Not one reply.

I suppose I really am not welcome here anymore.

I really hope that isn''t true...

 

[CNOS128]

I don''t think anybody''s shunning you. Lots of threads don''t get responses right away. Maybe you''d have better luck asking about diamond prices in Rocky Talky?

 

[Circe]

I think you might have better luck asking this be moved to RockyTalk: I don't think anybody would hold an old post against you.

ETA: Jinx, TBT - we must have cross-posted.

 

[iheartscience]

No need to be dramatic...most posts get lots of views but only a few replies.

For what you describe, $12k seems extremely high. $9k could be high, too. I would check the prices of similar carat weight marquise diamonds by using the Pricescope search feature. Also, check out the AGA cut chart. You can find it if you go to KNOWLEDGE and then choose Fancy Shapes. That will show you the best range of table and depth percentages, as well as crown angle and crown height, I believe. You want mostly 1A level numbers, but I think in a fancy it''s okay to have a couple of 1Bs. You can also check the numbers of this marquise against that chart.

 

[Rhea]

No one is shunning you. It''s normal to get many more views than replies. Give it a bit of time and I''m sure someone will answer your question.

 

[Dani511]

Thanks Ladies.

I moved this thread to Rocky Talky where it probably belongs. I am sorry to be so dramatic, I have been very emotional lately for a number of reasons! Jumping to conclusions again, I suppose! I shouldn''t do that

Thing2of2: Thank you for the advice! I thought it was extremely high, I know I need more information, also. I am going to try and look at the GIA cert this weekend at the store. I will do as you said as well. It may be very good news that the price sounds high, maybe I can end up getting it for an affordable price, then! I''ll do more research and also try to post the pics I have been thinking about posting for a while.

 

[Octavia]

Dani, there are lots of lurkers on PS, who look but never post. Also, I know that I often am in situations where I''m able to read posts, but not type out replies right then. If you look at just about any thread, there will be at least 4X as many views as replies, so don''t worry about it...most PS''ers aren''t the "shunning" type -- just the busy type!

I hope you get some good help in RockyTalky.

 

[musey]

Lack of replies is usually due to:

1) Number of lurkers (there are a LOT on here, and they contribute to view counts)
2) Time of post (after work hours, or toward the end of the day, because many people PS while at work, not on their off-time)
-and-
3) Lack of opinion for registered members

I fall into the third category... I just can't offer any opinion/help because I happen to think that the Gma diamond would be a very personal decision that only you can make, and I simply know nothing about diamond pricing beyond what you could search for on this site.

I start lots of topics that take hours to spawn replies, and it's never occurred to me that I wasn't "welcome" on the board. It took you only 49 minutes to decide you were being shunned? Come on!

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Honestly, I would stick with your grandmother''s ring for two main reasons:

Not only does it have tremendous sentimental value and something you will associate with your family''s tradition, but round brilliants are timeless and will always look great on your finger. Marquise diamonds are not as sparkly, and personally, not my favorite.

In addition, seems a waste to me to spend 9 thousand dollars when it sounds like you have an amazing stone at your disposal which in today''s market will probably cost 5-6 thousand... I would spend more money on getting a custom beautiful setting such as one made by Leon Merge and use the diamond you have...

Just my opinion though!

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 5/12/2008 8:38:56 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite
Honestly, I would stick with your grandmother''s ring for two main reasons:

Not only does it have tremendous sentimental value and something you will associate with your family''s tradition, but round brilliants are timeless and will always look great on your finger. Marquise diamonds are not as sparkly, and personally, not my favorite.

In addition, seems a waste to me to spend 9 thousand dollars when it sounds like you have an amazing stone at your disposal which in today''s market will probably cost 5-6 thousand... I would spend more money on getting a custom beautiful setting such as one made by Leon Merge and use the diamond you have...

Just my opinion though!

Tend to agree. Princess cuts, for example, aren''t my first choice but if I had a lovely, good quality princess stone for free that ALSO had sentimental value to boot -- I would stick with that. Even sentimental value aside, SO and I are just in a place in our lives where that 9k would be better spent elsewhere (on the many other things we need/want).

 

[bee*]

Date: 5/12/2008 8:38:56 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite
Honestly, I would stick with your grandmother''s ring for two main reasons:


Not only does it have tremendous sentimental value and something you will associate with your family''s tradition, but round brilliants are timeless and will always look great on your finger. Marquise diamonds are not as sparkly, and personally, not my favorite.


In addition, seems a waste to me to spend 9 thousand dollars when it sounds like you have an amazing stone at your disposal which in today''s market will probably cost 5-6 thousand... I would spend more money on getting a custom beautiful setting such as one made by Leon Merge and use the diamond you have...


Just my opinion though!

I would agree also. RB''s aren''t my favourite either but if I had one offered to me I would have taken it. I''d spend the money on a setting.

 

[squee]

Hi Dani!

I agree with some of the others in that marquise is not my favorite shape, but if it''s one that you like, then you should go with what YOU like. Regarding that specific ring though, $9k does seem like a lot, especially for a stone that''s not very high in demand. I think you could do better. Why not shop around online, like GOG, Whiteflash, ERD, James Allen, etc. to see if you can find a better deal on a loose marquise stone, and then get a setting that you love, instead of having to "switch it to white gold" as you would with that pre-existing ring. Just a thought.

Another idea would be to maybe take your grandmother''s stone and possibly use it as a center stone for a 3 stone ring (maybe with pear side stones?). Maybe something like this from Whiteflash. This way, you can save money by not having to purchase a center stone, but you can still have good finger coverage, and customize the ring to your tastes.

Just my suggestion.

 

[Bia]

Dani! I didn't read the SMTR posts, but, how could you think anyone would shun you?! That is ridiculous!

Now, for the ring question. I, personally, LOVE RB diamonds, so I might be slightly biased. However, if I had, for argument's sake (someone else said this), an emerald diamond (not my favorite) that was spectacular, but maybe smaller than I'd like (and free!) I would use it and spend the money on a ridiculously beautiful setting. You said you love big, flashy rings, so why don't you use the diamond you have and have it set in the setting of your dreams? The reason I say this is beacause $9000 is a lot of money if you aren't sure. Plus, sentimental value counts for a lot...to me anyway.

Definitely do as much reserach and get as many second opinions as possible before you commit to a purchase.

 

[Po10472]

I was engaged once before my DH and had a lovely marquise cut. I really loved my ring, it was yellow gold and the diamond was very sparkly. We broke up and I kept the ring and didn''t know what to do with it, I felt it was ''out of style'' as I wore it during the 90''s. I eventually sold the ring cos it was sitting in a box and I would rather someone enjoyed it but what I learned from that experience was to get a stone that is timeless and IMHO, RBs and step cuts are timeless, they don''t go out of fashion. Maybe if I had it reset east/west or added pears it could have worked, but I realised that I''d grown out of it. Does that make sense?

Now, if I were in your shoes, with a vintage cut stone which is over a carat, I would jump at the chance. Just think, you could get an absolutely kicking 3-stone or amazing halo, if its size you like, but you should be so blessed with having something of such sentimental value - plus, you get your ring, you get engaged and you save a ton of money - what more can you ask??

That being said, I totally understand you wanting your dream ring............that''s why god invented upgrades for special anniversaries!!!!

Stick with your vintage stone and get your dream ring when you are financially able to do so and wear your grandmothers stone as a RHR.

 

[gwendolyn]

Hiya, Dani511! I kind of know the sort of situation you're in because I inherited my great-grandmother's engagement ring when my own lovely, wonderful and much-missed grandmother passed away. It's not a very flashy ring--about half a carat (just a guess?) round brilliant, with 3 very tiny diamonds on either side. My boyfriend and I have basically no money because everything we save up will essentially have to go towards immigration paperwork. My ideal engagement ring would be a round brilliant, but I thought about it and thought about it, and for me--I want our engagement ring to be about us, not my grandmother. I still look at this ring (which I wear every day on my right hand, the way my grandma wore it) and feels sad that she's gone. She passed away in July, and I inherited the ring in December when I went back to see my family before Christmas, and it still makes me sad to see it and remember that she's no longer around. Eventually I know I won't look at it and feel sad, but since J and I will probably be getting engaged relatively soon (well, soon to me, like 6 or 9 months), I don't want to look at my engagement ring and feel sadness. Maybe by the time we actually get engaged, I will feel differently, but right now, that's how I feel.

I don't know if your stone has any emotional significance to you, and if it does, if that would increase its appeal or lessen it. Maybe it seems counter-intuitive to some here, but I know in my case, even though it would be the most financially responsible way to handle it and using a family heirloom to boot, might seem like a no-brainer, but....for me, it just feels wrong. This ring is a piece of my grandma. Our engagement ring is a separate thing entirely.

ETA: So, yeah, I don't know if I'll end up with my 'dream ring' due to budget concerns, but for me, I think I'd rather have a ring that was just symbolic of J and me together, without the emotional weight (both good and bad) of it being my grandma's ring too. Hope that kinda makes sense!

 

[FrekeChild]

I''d keep the round. One day I''ll inherit my mom''s 1.52 princess in YG, and I''m very much a RB/Oval/cushion/WG girl, but I plan on rhodium plating it and wearing it anyway. I don''t think that my mom would try to give it to BF to propose with-and I don''t want a diamond ering to begin with, but I would still cherish that ring, and wear it all the time, even though it wasn''t exactly what I want. Plus, there is always a chance to "upgrade".

And personally I dislike the marquise, unless it''s a fat one, in which case I''d take it, but those are few and far between. Because it''s not a popular shape, and hasn''t been for a while now I''d talk that guy down a bit more because I''m thinking if he doesn''t, that ring will be sitting there for a good long time.

 

[GemALLogist]

DANI...
GWEN actually raises a really good point... family sentimentality can be great...or NOT SO great when it comes to engagement ring. If you keep your grandmother''s ring as a RHR you''ll never, ever have to link it to anything but HER...
that said, a sentimental free stone is nothing to shun...and if you keep it as your ering...I''m with the other ladies: spend on your $ on a dream blingy setting!

As for the marquis: if you love it...go for it...who cares if it''s ''in'' or not....it doesn''t matter except that you can probably use the lack of ''popularity'' to your advantage...and I''d DEFINITELY barter it down.... that price sounds high....


BTW...I read the other post in SMTR while it was going on... I was afraid to participate...emotions were very high

.... no worries... PS is a family...there are good days and bad days...but we''re still here for each other! Misunderstandings happen all the time..especially in this ''text only'' environment!

 

[Dani511]

Hello all!

I posted a long response in this same thread in Rocky Talk, thanking everyone for thier responses!! I thank you girls as well, you are all great and I have read and considered each of your responses!

I know not everyone likes marquise stones, and they may not be "timeless" and may be "out of style", this particular marquise ring is classy and elegant, and the center stone is nice and fat, which I like. It just looks really nice on my hand, and is very me. Also, a thought that I forget to mention in these threads is that the "promise" ring(s) (there were actually two) that I had worn throughout our relationship were marquise, and it seems to be very "us" as well.

I do love my grandmothers diamond, both the beauty and the sentimental factor. I have not ruled it out yet at all. I could always dress it up, although that would also cost a lot of money. I am also a fan of tradition and family value, so it would be nice to have. I would really like a larger diamond and a different shape. I know we have the money, but on the other hand, it could be put to use for other things as well- so I don't know. We are going to have to see how it unfolds.

I know I was aiming for a mass "thank you" in this post, but I want to address Gwendolyn for having shared her personal story- thank you very much, and I am very sorry for the loss of your grandmother! I am attached to my grandmother's ring b/c it was her's- but it also carries some saddness with it as well. My grandmother passed away in 2001 of a cerebral hemorrhage after battling years of cancer ( colon and many others). I won't give details, but some of my last memories of her were not very happy ones. My grandfather passed in 1988 when I was 6 years old. He had a stroke in the late 70's, so I had never known him to speak, and he was paralysed on one side of his body. I was young and it was difficult for me to understand. Most memories are really fantastic, some are very painful. The other thing that has always made me wary of using the diamond is that she herself did not give it to me or leave it to me, or anyone, for that matter. When she passed and we cleared out her home, we couldn't find the ring at all. I had never even seen it ( she wore only a plain gold band), and she had it hidden- and good! I feel like maybe she wouldn't want it to be re-set or re-used. I could never be sure, obviously. I know my BF would rather us have our own diamond, unique to our relationship. If I do not use her diamond, I am going to start wearing it as a RHR, just the way it is in a platinum fishtail setting.
Thank you again everyone!!

I am going to try and get some pics up soon!