Grandmother called me the ex... TWICE!!!

[meresal]

Just thought I would share, since I can laugh about it now...

Last night I was over at C''s Grandmother/Grandfather''s house for almost 3 hours with his mom and sister. FYI, his grandmother is 91. We watched Miss Universe and then a crazy Bridezilla and a Platinum Weddings. Anyway, we''re getting up to leave and she says, "Jennifer... you should really..." His mom and sister''s mouths drop and they are like "You mean Meredith, it''s meredith." (Yes, we''ve been dating for almost 2 years)

I was fine with it, she''s older and it was 11:30 pm, it happens... well then she gets out of her chair and says it again when we''re all saying goodbye!! I couldn''t believe it. Anyway, his mom and sister kept apologizing, but I said goodbye and kissed his GM on the cheek and said not to worry about it. I headed over to his parents house a street over, where C was, with his brother. I plopped down on the sofa and just let out a huge sigh. I told C what happened, he didn''t know what to say, and I think his brother almost spit out his food. About 5 minutes later his mom came through the door and gave me a huge hug, and apologized again. I kinda felt bad, becuase the fact that she called me by the wrong name, really didn''t bother me. His mom and sis were super nice about it though.

C and I head back to our place, and he could tell somthing was bothering me. I told him that that only thing that bothered me, was I couldn''t figure out why that name wuold have come up. Any other name would have been fine. I really thought that someone had been talking about her before I got there, and that would have left her name in the back of her mind...
C said the sweetest things, and told me how much his family really did love me. I went to sleep with a smile and he woke me up this morning saying the sweetest things too.

I joked with him, that harboring ill feelings towards a 91 yr old woman, that I adore, would have made me like his ex

.

 

[Lauren8211]

Ouch! LOL

Sorry to laugh, but 91 year olds are so funny, sometimes they have no idea how offensive they are really being.

As long as SO and immediate family love you, no need to worry, of course!

But I know that must''ve stung - especially since it was said TWICE!

 

[fieryred33143]

Aww I’m sorry. Do you spend a lot of time with his grandmother?

I have to tell you this though, reading your story the first thing I thought was “how much does his family love her that they would invite her to go to mom’s house without her boyfriend??” That’s insanely sweet and such a huge validation of how much they all love you.

The same thing happened to me but it was his mom!!! We had been dating for about two years but I had met his mother maybe 2 months prior to her slipup. He used to date this girl named Olivia, she was his high school sweetheart. When they broke up, he vowed to never bring a girl home to meet his parents unless he was serious about her and he never did (until me). So I called the house and she yells out “R, its Olivia” I almost died. She must have called me four times that day apologizing and saying she was embarrassed. It was pretty traumatic LOL.

 

[jitterymo]

Date: 7/14/2008 11:17:55 AM
Author:meresal
Just thought I would share, since I can laugh about it now...

Last night I was over at C''s Grandmother/Grandfather''s house for almost 3 hours with his mom and sister. FYI, his grandmother is 91. We watched Miss Universe and then a crazy Bridezilla and a Platinum Weddings. Anyway, we''re getting up to leave and she says, ''Jennifer... you should really...'' His mom and sister''s mouths drop and they are like ''You mean Meredith, it''s meredith.'' (Yes, we''ve been dating for almost 2 years)

I was fine with it, she''s older and it was 11:30 pm, it happens... well then she gets out of her chair and says it again when we''re all saying goodbye!! I couldn''t believe it. Anyway, his mom and sister kept apologizing, but I said goodbye and kissed his GM on the cheek and said not to worry about it. I headed over to his parents house a street over, where C was, with his brother. I plopped down on the sofa and just let out a huge sigh. I told C what happened, he didn''t know what to say, and I think his brother almost spit out his food. About 5 minutes later his mom came through the door and gave me a huge hug, and apologized again. I kinda felt bad, becuase the fact that she called me by the wrong name, really didn''t bother me. His mom and sis were super nice about it though.

C and I head back to our place, and he could tell somthing was bothering me. I told him that that only thing that bothered me, was I couldn''t figure out why that name wuold have come up. Any other name would have been fine. I really thought that someone had been talking about her before I got there, and that would have left her name in the back of her mind...
C said the sweetest things, and told me how much his family really did love me. I went to sleep with a smile and he woke me up this morning saying the sweetest things too.

I joked with him, that harboring ill feelings towards a 91 yr old woman, that I adore, would have made me like his ex

.

we are name twins!!!

 

[Pushin40]

She''s 91 - I wouldn''t even think twice about it!

My Granmother is 93 and you should hear the stuff that comes out of her mouth sometimes!!!! LOL!! We don''t even correct her anymore - its not worth it to embarass her and make her feel bad. She HATES when she messes up, and we all know what she means most of the time.

I would probably be more uncomfortable with everyone around you feeling they need to apologize for her!

 

[lovesparklies]

Aww, that stinks but it''s good that you can laugh it off. Plus you got some sweet comments out of your BF because of it!

I''m no expert on the subject but I studied neuroscience in college and grad school, and learned that older people often tend to recall things better from their long-term memory and have trouble with short-term memory because the older memories have had longer to sink-in and become ingrained. So while you''ve been dating your BF for 2 years, his grandmother would''ve been about 89 when you met and that''s still pretty old and her memory might have already started to deteriorate. It''s not that she''s lost the ability to recognize what''s offensive, but her brain is simply calling up what was put in place at a time when her memory was better and the memory has become more deeply ingrained. Plus, as you mentioned, it was late and when an older person is tired (or anyone for that matter!) it puts extra strain on cognitive processes.

OK, so that explanation was totally unneeded but at least I got to exercise my own memory in the process!

That''s so cute that you adore his family and they adore you. Sounds like you have a happy life ahead of you!

 

[meresal]

Thanks Elle!!!

Fiery: I''m over there about once a month. But when she said her name the first time, it was supposed to be followed by "you should really come over more often." I''m thinking now, that that''s probably a good idea.

IloveSpinel: I read your post, and couldn''t figure out hos you knew my name. I''m usually really careful about posting it, eventhough my SN doesn''t hid much. I had no clue I had my name in my post. LOL. I used to hate "our" name growing up, but I love it now!!

Puishin: I felt bad, bc I didn''t want her to feel bad. I really wasn''t upset at her. Honestly, she didn''t even know until after I had left, that she had mistakenly called me by the ex''s name, she was apologizing bc she had called me by the wrong one. Hopefully she woke up this morning and forgot all about it!!

 

[LostSapphire]

OK I''ve got one for you:

I have been married for 21 years. It was my first marriage, DH''s 2nd.

Even as recently as LAST WEEKEND!!, as I was sitting at the table with his family, they used the ex''s name when saying the grace. In other words, they STILL use her name sometimes.

I used to get really irritated now we all just kind of giggle about it.

It has gotten better, however: the very first time I was at the family''s thanksgiving dinner, the blessing included the following: "Please God, let us pray that ____ and _____ resolve their marriage difficulties and reunite in holy matrimony".

DH and his ex had been DIVORCED for over a year at that point!

It sure helps to have a sense of humour sometimes.

Otherwise I''d be convinced by now that they liked her more than me!!!

 

[meresal]

Lost Sapphire: OMG!!! I don''t know how anyone could survive this life without a sense of humor, but wow girl, that is rough!!

Even now, do they use her name, as an accident meaning to use yours, or do they still pray for her at family gatherings??

 

[littlelysser]

I so wouldn't worry about it...

My grandmother, who passed away about a year ago, often call me, Meghan (my sister's name), Cheryl (my mom's name), Joe (my grandfather's name) and then she would actually say my name. She called my best friend Lourdes, Lordie. And she called my sister's boyfriend Brennan, Brenner. We never understood why. Just what she did.

So yeah. I wouldn't attach to much significance to it!

 

[LostSapphire]

Date: 7/14/2008 2:09:54 PM
Author: meresal
Lost Sapphire: OMG!!! I don''t know how anyone could survive this life without a sense of humor, but wow girl, that is rough!!

Even now, do they use her name, as an accident meaning to use yours, or do they still pray for her at family gatherings??

They''ve stopped the praying....only after we were actually married though!

Now when it happens (and it''s always the same *absent minded* brother in law) we all kind of break out in giggle fits.

I don''t worry about it any more but part of me wonders if it''s a "Freudian Slip"? tee hee

 

[KCCutie]

Absolutely she''s 91 and it was WAY past her bedtime don''t give it a second thought.

My SOs aunt did the same thing at Thanksgiving. We were talking about the Amazing Race and she said "Oh E! You and J should try out for that you''d be perfect"...Um I''m not J I''m K....LOL I know she meant me and not her though b/c J would have been horrible on that show and I think that''s why most of the family laughed when she said it....it was just a slip and I knew she meant it for me and she was trying to be nice so I just let it slide....after a good giggle of course.

 

[Amanda.Rx]

Awww... give the lady a break! I''m sure she meant nothing by it.

My grandamother is 92- she thinks that the cell phone is the greatest invention ever because it tells her what day it is!

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 7/14/2008 11:30:49 AM
Author: ILoveSpinel

Date: 7/14/2008 11:17:55 AM

Author:meresal

Just thought I would share, since I can laugh about it now...


Last night I was over at C''s Grandmother/Grandfather''s house for almost 3 hours with his mom and sister. FYI, his grandmother is 91. We watched Miss Universe and then a crazy Bridezilla and a Platinum Weddings. Anyway, we''re getting up to leave and she says, ''Jennifer... you should really...'' His mom and sister''s mouths drop and they are like ''You mean Meredith, it''s meredith.'' (Yes, we''ve been dating for almost 2 years)


I was fine with it, she''s older and it was 11:30 pm, it happens... well then she gets out of her chair and says it again when we''re all saying goodbye!! I couldn''t believe it. Anyway, his mom and sister kept apologizing, but I said goodbye and kissed his GM on the cheek and said not to worry about it. I headed over to his parents house a street over, where C was, with his brother. I plopped down on the sofa and just let out a huge sigh. I told C what happened, he didn''t know what to say, and I think his brother almost spit out his food. About 5 minutes later his mom came through the door and gave me a huge hug, and apologized again. I kinda felt bad, becuase the fact that she called me by the wrong name, really didn''t bother me. His mom and sis were super nice about it though.


C and I head back to our place, and he could tell somthing was bothering me. I told him that that only thing that bothered me, was I couldn''t figure out why that name wuold have come up. Any other name would have been fine. I really thought that someone had been talking about her before I got there, and that would have left her name in the back of her mind...

C said the sweetest things, and told me how much his family really did love me. I went to sleep with a smile and he woke me up this morning saying the sweetest things too.


I joked with him, that harboring ill feelings towards a 91 yr old woman, that I adore, would have made me like his ex

.

we are name twins!!!

Triplets!

That sounds rough, but you''re handling it with amazing grace. Kudos!

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/14/2008 8:23:28 PM
Author: WishfulThinking

ate: 7/14/2008 11:30:49 AM
Author: ILoveSpinel


we are name twins!!!

Triplets!

That sounds rough, but you''re handling it with amazing grace. Kudos!

Eeek, how fun. I''ve never been around 2 M''s before in my life!!

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 7/15/2008 8:55:12 AM
Author: meresal

Date: 7/14/2008 8:23:28 PM

Author: WishfulThinking

ate: 7/14/2008 11:30:49 AM

Author: ILoveSpinel



we are name twins!!!

Triplets!

That sounds rough, but you''re handling it with amazing grace. Kudos!

Eeek, how fun. I''ve never been around 2 M''s before in my life!!

Me neither! I commented about this on the name thread, but I''ll say it again here: I never used to know anyone with my name until I started college. I knew two others with our name, and it was so odd I hardly knew what to do. I then had a new sort of understanding for what all my friends named "Amanda" used to complain about growing up. There were 12 Amandas in our graduating class in highschool, so I can relate now to how odd that must have been!

/threadjack.

 

[meresal]

To be honest, almost everyone but FF''s family call me Mere. Well, once we are friends they do. Heck, my manager started doing saying it too.

I noticed that people don''t call me that until they feel close enough to me, so when one of C''s friends did it for the first time, I almost cried!! LOL!! I''m a goober...

Do you go by something shorter? or is it always Meredith?

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 7/15/2008 3:01:14 PM
Author: meresal
To be honest, almost everyone but FF''s family call me Mere. Well, once we are friends they do. Heck, my manager started doing saying it too.

I noticed that people don''t call me that until they feel close enough to me, so when one of C''s friends did it for the first time, I almost cried!! LOL!! I''m a goober...


Do you go by something shorter? or is it always Meredith?

My sister calls me Mere, but I prefer my [our!] full name, by most people. I have never been a fan of nicknames, especially, for some reason, "Mary," which is what my Portuguese cousins call me, since there is no "th" sound in Portuguese, making it hard for them to pronounce. It bothers me so much!

Not entirely sure why, though. I went by Mimi when I was very small, which is what my younger sister called me, but I don''t commonnly go by a nickname now.

That is so cute about you almost crying when C''s friend called you Mere! I am a sap as well, so I totally understand that reaction.

 

[meresal]

Haha, this is so funny. I hate being called Mary!! I would venture to guess your hatred of the name stems from somewhere between the 1st and 4th grade, and all the stupid nursery rhymes. "Mary, Mary, quite contrary"... "Row, row, row your boat, merrily down the stream"... should I continue or are the memories flooding back?!?!

LOL!!! I think I used to threaten my friends when they started singing those around me, just to irritate me

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 7/16/2008 7:06:32 PM
Author: meresal
Haha, this is so funny. I hate being called Mary!! I would venture to guess your hatred of the name stems from somewhere between the 1st and 4th grade, and all the stupid nursery rhymes. ''Mary, Mary, quite contrary''... ''Row, row, row your boat, merrily down the stream''... should I continue or are the memories flooding back?!?!

LOL!!! I think I used to threaten my friends when they started singing those around me, just to irritate me

OMG totally flooding! Kids are such pains in the @$$, for sure.

I also really hate Mary because it is a NAME, and not MY name. To me, Mary is someone else''s name, not a nickname for my name. If that isn''t totally convoluted thinking, lol.