Grrr.... BAD visit to bridal shop.....

[ephemery1]

I went dress-shopping with my mom yesterday to a place that came highly recommended in New Jersey. They carry more than 25 great designers (Amsale, Christos, Rivini, Reem Acra, etc), and since I know very well what I like and don''t like at this point, I was excited to have a larger selection to browse through.

Well, so much for browsing.

Apparently the policy of the shop is that your consultant brings gowns TO you... rather than you looking through the gowns. So you give her an idea of what you want, and she pulls a few at a time while you wait in a little room. Our consultant was very sweet and brought back a total of probably 20 gowns... but with every armload, my mom and I both knew even before I tried them on whether or not they would work for me... I know what I like, and the consultant just wasn''t getting it.

It grew SO frustratingly inefficient that we finally left the shop feeling completely discouraged... as though we''d wasted an afternoon on nothing. The consultant tried to tell me that I was probably just too specific about things I wanted and it was too broad a range of elements to find in one dress... and my mom and I explained that at the two MUCH smaller places we''ve been, I came away from both with at least 3-4 gowns I genuinely loved... here, we spent 2 hours in a place carrying 25 designers I know I like, and found maybe one dress to consider.

Anyone else come across a dress shop like this? Is it common??

I''m planning on asking all the places I go beforehand, now... my other two shopping experiences were so lovely and fun, and this was so depressing... no WAY am I going through that again!!

 

[Fancy605]

This does seem like a strange way to require someone to shop. Unless the consultant has worked with you before, how can she possibly know your style/tastes? It seems like it would work for either A) someone who had NO idea what she wanted and was willing to try anything or B)someone who is used to personal shoppers and/or had worked with the consultant before. But, I can imagine where some peopel would find the service would be more irritating than helpful. Whenever a shop attendant brings me clothes to try on a whim because "I may like them as well," I always feel bad when I don''t like it. They say, "did the top I brough you work?" and I try to find a nice, glossy way to say no just in case they take things personally.

In any case, it certainly isn''t your fault that SHE couldn''t find you anything. How unprofessional of her to insinuate that your specific taste in dresses is a problem. That''s just a touch too condescending for my taste. The right dress is out there, and it will be everything you want it to be (even if it turns out to be something you didn''t know you wanted).

 

[larussel03]

wow, that totally stinks.

I''m about to start dress shopping and they wont even let you BROWSE in my area without an appointment.

Maybe next time you should bring some pictures of dresses with certain things you like on them. Just in case something like that happened again, you could SHOW her what you mean.

 

[E B]

I had a similar experience yesterday at a high end boutique. I was able to browse the gowns, but the consultant kept pulling out gowns I didn't like. I'd say, "Thanks, but that one looks a little too big" (trying to be polite) but she'd respond with, "No it isn't. It's a beautiful gown! Try it on anyway." I ended up trying on around 8 gowns, 5 of which she picked. Oh, and she kept pushing the two gowns she thought I'd buy even though they weren't flattering. I was by myself and wanted honesty, but she wanted a sale. Blech.

The good news is, some consultants really do have an eye for what will work for your body. At a boutique I went to back home (with my mom), I'd picked several gowns I ended up feeling lukewarm about. Before we left, the consultant brought out a dress and asked me to try it on. It was gorgeous and fit my body beautifully. So, you never know. From now on, you might want to try asking (over the phone) if you're able to browse the gowns before visiting. Good luck!

p.s. What are you looking for?

 

[Mara]

it seems like most of the high-end boutique places will do this for you, the consultant pulls what they think works for you...but if you have a designer you like or a design in mind, they typically will find and pull those for you as well as their own suggestions. i went in there with ones i specifically wanted to try on and also tried on other ones. i also went to a few places where you could just browse the gowns on the wall til your heart was content then pull a bunch and take them in with you, no appt required. that's where i ended up getting my own.

the interesting thing is that sometimes trying on things you don't think you will like OR think will not look good on you ends up being the total opposite! the gown i really was torn about buying was one i never would have looked at twice hanging on a rack or something. it just looked fabulous on me and really flattered me in the right places, but it was a designer gown for $2500 (christos) and i wanted to spend MAX $1500 and in the end i just couldn't justify it for our hawaii wedding, this was more for a local or church wedding in that it was a thicker larger gown and i wanted a sheath for hawaii. which is what i got and i loved it, but that other gown was just divine!! and in the model shot in the mags, bah! looks nothing like it did on me.

anyway, keep an open mind and figure that nothing is a 'waste of time' if it helps you get closer even in your own mind to what you REALLY want. maybe trying on all those gowns showed you that you really DO know what you don't want...i would just ask Q's before going to future places, aka when you make your appts and find out what sort or level you can be involved. good luck and don't be down!!

 

[jcrow]

saks totally did this with me! i told the lady i wanted a dropped waist. i swear she brought everything but! i kept telling her it's pretty but it's not a dropped waist. she was like oh, try it on. i would and it would suck. i think finally she got the jist that gowns with dropped waists just did better on me. it was so frustrating because saks carries all of those high end gowns. and really she only showed me like 5 gowns!! another time i went back (because i was considering a reem gown from there) and got another consultant because mine was out. she actually showed me exactly what i had asked for! i was like WTF?! why couldn't the other lady get it?!

eta: and at the saks i went to, all of the gowns execept for like 5 on display are in a back room. so you don't even get to see anything to decide for yourself!! urgh!

 

[AndyRosse]

Yup, my bridal shop did this too. Pain in the butt if you ask me!

The first time I went there with my MOH, I had a specific dress that I knew I wanted to try. The woman gladly pulled that and several other dresses she thought I would like. As soon as I saw the other dresses she pulled, I knew they were NOT what I wanted. She was very nice about it and kept going to get other dresses, some which fit my specifications better than others. When I left the store I thought I had found my dress (the dress I specifically asked for). Well I came back two weeks later to show my mother the dress and then to buy it. My MOH and I were waiting for my mother in their little showroom and started looking at the couple dresses they had on display. Well, I really liked one of those dresses, so I had to try it on. And I just fell in love with it!

So my whole point to this rambling story is that with this type of shop, I always feel like you might be missing your dream dress...

 

[moremoremore]

I would look online. That''s how I found my dress. I knew EXACTLY what style I needed for my figure....I was fortunate to find THE one online and called the salon and they got a sample in for me to look at. Tried it on. Bingo. You can find a few you like online and try to find one salon that has all/most of them....

 

[Gypsy]

Was it Bridal Garden? Cause they are just PHENOMENALLY bad there. You can't browse, your consultant tells you what she thinks you should wear and most of the staff are horrid.

I'll tell you flat out. If your looking for high end designers like that-- Kleinfeld's really is the way to go. I was looking at some Richard Glaslow, Christos and Amsale's and the shops in NJ were the pits for those designers. (I ADORE Rivini BTW)... Kleinfled's is really the best place.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 7/23/2006 6:14:37 PM
Author: Gypsy
Was it Bridal Garden? Cause they are just PHENOMENALLY bad there. You can''t browse, your consultant tells you what she thinks you should wear and most of the staff are horrid.

I''ll tell you flat out. If your looking for high end designers like that-- Kleinfeld''s really is the way to go. I was looking at some Richard Glaslow, Christos and Amsale''s and the shops in NJ were the pits for those designers. (I ADORE Rivini BTW)... Kleinfled''s is really the best place.

Haha... oh Gypsy, I am so glad you posted... it WAS Bridal Garden... so it''s not just me?? That makes me feel about a million times better!!!

I think Kleinfeld will have to be our next stop. My concern was just having to go back up to NYC for fittings and such, but it may be worth the train rides. I''ve heard great things... but do you know how it works there? I can''t handle another no-browsing policy!

Mara I definitely agree that some things that would never catch my eye on the rack, end up looking great on. That happened in the first two shops and I was really grateful for the consultants'' suggestions... but by now, I have a good sense of what elements I like and don''t like... a much better sense than the saleslady had, anyway!

And you''re right that it wasn''t truly a waste of time... at the very least, I started to figure out exactly WHY I don''t like those particular things... so it kind of confirmed some of my previous choices.

EBree, as for what i''m looking for: I''m open to any designer, really... though I LOVED the Jenny Lee''s I tried on at the Wedding Shoppe in Wayne, PA. I am really drawn to dresses with some ruching or shirring around the bodice, usually with some sort of assymetrical detail... but simple, overall. I like strapless and A-line, not too ball-gown-y, definitely not mermaid. I tried on some sweetheart necklines and liked them a lot more than I expected I would, so that''s a possibility too! I don''t mind lace and/or beading, as long as it''s not overwhelming. I have what I call a "dress-shaped" body... narrow shoulders, small waist, and then all my weight in my legs! So most styles seem to work on me... which could make the final decision even harder...

 

[E B]

I''m no dress consultant, but Watters has a few (that are similar to the Jenny Lee you loved at less than half the cost!) you might want to check out:

Watters 7056B (I''m assuming the flower is removable!)

Watters 5056B

Watters 3022B

Watters 6033B (Again, hoping the flower is removable!)

 

[Gypsy]

Kleinfelds will let you browse. They do expect you to give them a budget guidline and will keep you to it, which I thought was great, because they never brought in a dress that was ''perfect'' then popped a ten thousand dollar price tag on me after I tried it on (Bridal Garden did something like that to me, which was just awful). They are very... formal and professional there. They aren''t warm and cuddly. Still, it''s a great place in terms of selection and service. As for fittings and such. Well... you trade in convenience for peace of mind, I guess. I wouldn''t, personally, buy a veil or headpiece of shoes there though... the prices were just... amazing for that stuff.

Ebree... I tried on a BUNCH of Watters gowns on Saturday and I was disappointed in the fabric quality, personally. But then I was looking at a lot of organza and crappy organza is very common apparently even among some higher end designers... don''t know why.

 

[E B]

Date: 7/23/2006 9:58:35 PM
Author: Gypsy

Ebree... I tried on a BUNCH of Watters gowns on Saturday and I was disappointed in the fabric quality, personally. But then I was looking at a lot of organza and crappy organza is very common apparently even among some higher end designers... don't know why.

I hear that! I'm partial to silk satin, but I saw a beautiful Rivini organza gown I had to try on yesterday. I've loved almost every Rivini I've put on, but the quality of that gown's fabric was so awful. Hard and crinkly with no sheen whatsoever. To be fair, I thought it was just because I'm not an organza fan...but a $4,000 gown having poor quality organza? That's odd.

As for Watters' other fabrics, I've heard good things about their silk blends.

 

[Gypsy]

Honestly. Paloma has the nicest silk organza I''ve ever seen on a gown. It''s even nicer than the organza on the Christos gowns. Don''t know why that is. My mother''s wedding gown was silk organza. I think that''s why I''m so fond of it.