He started talking about the ring! (long)

[sumbride]

I''m so glad I have you ladies to talk to... my friends are SICK of this by now! He talks about our wedding CONSTANTLY, but he rarely mentions a ring or a proposal... It''s been noticeably absent from our discussions even though he''s already planning the music and the menu. Suddenly, he''s brought it up!

We went out to dinner Saturday night before catching a friend''s show, and he asked me what I wanted my reward to be for the diet we''re both on. I said, well, I know what I want, but I''m not going to say it... he said "An engagement ring?" I said "Yep" but then he said "Well, what if that delayed it?" I sort of gasped and said, "delay? No no I don''t want to do that! But I don''t know what your schedule is..." He said "well, I don''t expect you to reach your goal in three weeks." Huge gasp out of me... "THREE WEEKS???" He then started backpedaling on that and said "well, it''s going to take a while to get to the goal." I said "Is it soon? Is it guy soon or girl soon?" and then had to explain what each meant but he said "That, I''m not going to say..." I told him he was driving me crazy! Then this morning I realized he didn''t say No to "within a year?"!!!! That means yes!

Then I said "Just remember, I want to pick the ring." This also threw him, even though I told him that a year or so ago. I said "I have to wear it for the rest of my life, I should be able to pick it out! And you know how picky I am about jewelry!" He said "So am I supposed to propose without it? What do I give you? a bouquet of flowers?" I said "Well, we could look beforehand, or I could give you ideas... but if you want it to be a complete surprise (he nodded) then we''ll do it after." None of his friends have done it this way so it was completely new to him... and his friends'' wives have nice rings, but they are all pretty standard settings and that''s not what I would want. I know he likes the idea of having a ring in hand, so I think I''m going to have to start putting a file together... it''s not like it''s a complete surprise that he will propose EVENTUALLY... he just really doesn''t want me to know when. Even though I think it''s during our vacation in August.

Then he joked and said "If I take you to Outback one night you''re going to be suspicious..." (one of our friends had a memorable "Outback" proposal that we secretly giggle at.) I said "NO RESTAURANTS" and that kind of threw him... "what? Not even a nice one?" Nope... too generic! No food! Especially no ring IN the food! I could die! Then he said "how about wine?" (that''s what makes me think it''s August... we''re going to Napa)

I was giggly the whole rest of the evening... couldn''t wait to get here and tell all... but then my internet died at home so I had to wait until today!!! I had a feeling in January that it would be this year. I really hope it is! And after our little chat, I think it is. I really do. I''m definitely a lady in waiting!

 

[blodthecat]

Hi Sumbride,

You''re just like me...I would want to pick out my ering. Like you say, you are going to wear it for the rest of your life. It''s a ''big deal''. You want to love and admire it.

You obviously have a strong relationship, as you have been able to do some straight talking, and that''s a really good thing.

Anyway....what is your preference for an ering??????????

Blod

 

[sumbride]

It''s definitely a big deal! It''s not that I don''t trust him... it''s just that he won''t be wearing it! He''s bought jewelry for me before, but it''s always been something I''ve showed him that I liked. He''s a "guy''s-guy" and admits that he doesn''t pay much attention to things like jewelry. I''m not sure exactly what I want yet, but my fingers are short and sort of "stubby" so I was thinking an oval would sort of elongate them. I''m also EXTREMELY accident prone and hard on my hands, so the setting needs to be low profile. I''ve broken fingers, gotten stitches, etc... in my hands and don''t want to hurt myself or my ring. I tend to like unique and subtle pieces, with a bit of symbolism to them. My favorite necklaces are a piece of Venetian glass, and an infinity pendant. I''m not looking for a typical three stone prong setting or even over the top... just a unique piece that I''m not going to see coming and going.

I think I really need to try a few on because I''ve read so many postings by people who have changed their minds by how it looked on their hands. I don''t think I can really get an idea until I do that... but the rings I''ve seen on PS are a million times better than what I had encountered "before-PS".

 

[anchor31]

Oh, how exciting...

Good for you for standing your ground about picking out your ring yourself!! At first my SO didn''t want to take me shopping, but I explained why it was important to me just like you did, and one of his coworkers unknowingly helped me by having a chat with J about how it''s important that I loved it and that he had a good budget for it. "There''s no such thing as too much for the woman of you life."

So I ended up not only going shopping, but picking out my exact stone and setting myself.

The proposal is still going to be a surprise. I have no say in it and I don''t know when it''s going to happen. He''s going to buy my ring as soon as he''s cleared up his credit card (which should be soon, I think), so I''m starting to wonder if he''s going to propose around my birthday in early May, but I can''t tell really. He could very well buy the ring in April and propose in August... All I know is that he set himself a deadline for the New Year. We''ll see.

My point is, my choosing the exact ring doesn''t mean the proposal won''t be a surprise. I know what ring I''m going to wear for the rest of my life and I feel great knowing that my research paid off and I can get a gorgeous, high quality ring for his budget (if he''d shopped all by himself, he would have bought it in a local B&M store and would have gotten ripped off for a smaller stone of lower quality), but I don''t know anything else.

Whatever you and your boyfriend choose to do, good luck! Keep us posted!

 

[Skylah]

This is definitely exciting! I have to agree, that choosing the ring does not ruin any part of the surprise. I went with my fiance and we picked the diamond and setting together, I was right there when he paid, and I knew exactly when he picked it up. I even knew when he has going to propose and it was still a surprise! I mean, I was crying and he still had a bunch of tricks up his sleeve. So, it will be surprise and you will be ecstatic - I don''t think you can help it!!!

 

[sumbride]

You ladies have given me more confidence to be involved in the whole thing! If it were up to him alone, I know he would go to a store that his best friend shopped at (because this guy is their LEADER... they do whatever he says!) and pick out something that his friend thought I would like. He''d probably get the metal choice right, but I just don''t want him to have to agonize over it. Plus he''s really not good at understanding timelines... If I say "a custom ring can take two months" it will blow his mind! When he gave me an ipod for Christmas, he knew I wanted it engraved but he went to the Apple store and was completely confused as to why they couldn''t do it for him there. He later told me he ordered it online on the very last possible day to get it delivered in time for Christmas... and he had it shipped to my mom''s house! I had no idea! So deadlines aren''t his specialty...

I haven''t brought it up again, but I really want to suggest that I can give him ideas of what I like soon... telling him it takes a couple months to make it... and if he wants to just sit on the file for 6 months I''ll have no idea. That way his timing would be a surprise the way he wants it, but he''d still get to hand me a ring, which sounds like something he really wants to do during the proposal. Plus I don''t want it to be 6 months after we''re engaged that I FINALLY get the ring.... Hmmm.... got some thinking to do...

Oh, and after looking through Rocky Talk, I found antiqueengagementrings.com and am TOTALLY in love with some rings on that site, though I think I''d have to have them made for me since my fingers are bigger... would want it in proportion.