He wants round, I want Pear

[stbfyffe]

Ok, so bf and I talked today and he insisted that he get me a round diamond and I told him I wanted a pear (he doesn''t like any other shape)...I don''t think that there will be a compromise b/c I want a solitare w/ no side stones. At the end of the talk he gave in but was obviously not too pleased...should I just take the round or stand my ground for the pear? I can honestly say that I will not be totally happy if i get a round diamond.

 

[KimberlyH]

"Honey, you can choose whatever ring you like...please let me do the same" and hi-ho-hi-ho-it''spearshoppingwe''llgo. It''s your ring, get what you love...tell him you wouldn''t pick out a VW Rabbit for him if he really wanted a hummer and the same should go for you.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 9/17/2007 11:06:49 PM
Author: KimberlyH
''Honey, you can choose whatever ring you like...please let me do the same'' and hi-ho-hi-ho-it''spearshoppingwe''llgo. It''s your ring, get what you love...tell him you wouldn''t pick out a VW Rabbit for him if he really wanted a hummer and the same should go for you.

Ditto-you''re the one who wears it! It doesn''t really matter what he likes unless he''s the one wearing it. He can pick out whatever wedding band he wants, so he needs to propose with *your* dream ring, not his.

 

[neatfreak]

I agree with everyone else!

If he doesn''t come around just say "well, you get to pick mine, I get to pick yours! I''ve already picked the one I want YOU to wear for the rest of your life" then pull out some really out there men''s band pictures. He''ll get the point.

 

[anchor31]

I agree with everyone. FI wanted to give my a princess with trillion sides and I picked a RB with marquise sides... He loves it now, though!

 

[jfus]

Date: 9/17/2007 10:48:39 PM
Author:stbfyffe
Ok, so bf and I talked today and he insisted that he get me a round diamond and I told him I wanted a pear (he doesn''t like any other shape)...I don''t think that there will be a compromise b/c I want a solitare w/ no side stones. At the end of the talk he gave in but was obviously not too pleased...should I just take the round or stand my ground for the pear? I can honestly say that I will not be totally happy if i get a round diamond.

I agree.. YOU will be the one wearing the ring..not FI..

I was engaged in my "previous life" as I like to call it.. and my FI at the the time had an uncle who was a jeweler... I wanted ascher or cushion and FI told me that RB hold value better... (who seriously thinks about value? I mean I am not the type of girl to trade up... I am too sentimental, and he knew this..) anyway I ended up wiht a RB in Michael B like setting... I was interested in HALOS at one point during this and I was shot down.. told it looked too VINTAGE!!!!

NEedless to say he wasn''t the man for me to marry.. now I''m a LIW with a guy who would give me his last nickle or the shirt off his back... and I have been eyeing up Ritani settings with CUSHION cut stones!

I"m not saying you need to break up with your man..but sit him down.. What are his reasonings?? you deserve to LOVE your ring!

 

[Sha]

Wha..? Why is he upset? Shouldn''t his goal be to make you happy? If a Pear makes you happy then he should be glad to get that for you.

 

[littlelysser]

Gotta chime in and say that your BF is absolutely silly.

Your BF is not going to be wearing the ring for the rest of his life...you are.

If you want a pear, you should have a pear. Simple as that.

 

[baby monster]

Hmm...maybe he already bought the ring and then decided to check with you which shape you like?

 

[bee*]

I think that you should be the one to pick it out. You''re the one wearing it and he should want you to love your engagement ring

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 9/18/2007 11:19:06 AM
Author: baby monster
Hmm...maybe he already bought the ring and then decided to check with you which shape you like?

That is along the same line of thought I had...only I was thinking maybe he''s saying he doesn''t like pear shape to throw you off?

I know it''s not an e-ring but I told my SO I loved Burberry. He told me he despised the pattern and couldn''t see spending all that money on a purse just because of a hideous plaid some designer coined "in". Then my b-day rolled around and what do you know...I got a Burberry purse and wallet.

 

[Independent Gal]

Well, the obvious answer to this dilemma is that he needs to get you two rings. That way, everyone''s happy.

 

[baby monster]

Date: 9/18/2007 11:32:04 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Well, the obvious answer to this dilemma is that he needs to get you two rings. That way, everyone''s happy.

2 is always better than 1

The other possibility is that his family promised to give him a ring when he decides to propose, so he is thinking that he is off the hook on the money and then you come up with the pear.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 9/18/2007 11:32:04 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Well, the obvious answer to this dilemma is that he needs to get you two rings. That way, everyone''s happy.

IG - What an absolutely brilliant solution to this problem!

 

[Haven]

IndyGal definitely came up with the most obvious solution--two rings. Love it!

Seriously, though, I''m sure if you figure out a way to help him realize what he''s really saying, he''ll change his tune. If not, well, all I know is that I would not wear a ring every single day for the rest of my life if it was not my taste.

 

[FireGoddess]

I guess I''d be inclined to tell him that when he''s the one who''ll be wearing it, he can pick it out. Since it will be on YOUR hand every day and YOU will be the one looking at it, it should be what YOU WANT. I mean, DUH...I just don''t get when men are so adamant about something that is a GIFT for someone else who clearly wants something different.

If you want to appeal to his reasonable side, however, tell him that:
1. Pears are cheaper per carat than rounds
2. Pears face up LARGER per carat than rounds

So it will look bigger and cost less than a round of equal size. That should appeal to him, even if the fact that it''s what you WANT, doesn''t.

 

[DMBsGirl]

stick to your guns! Like you said, you don''t think you''ll be happy with a round, wouldn''t you rather LOVE your ring? As for the boyfriend, he will realize what a great choice the pear was when he sees the look on your face when he proposes!

 

[snlee]

I agree with everyone. You are the one wearing the ering so YOU should love it! Stand your ground. Maybe ask your bf how he would feel if you picked out a wedding band for him that he doesn''t like?

 

[basil]

I guess I''m the only one who thinks differently, but I kinda think that the engagement ring should be something you both like. I''m not saying give into what he wants because he''s paying, but there is seriously no ring that you both can agree on?

When I at first envisioned my dream ring, I wanted a cushion or an emerald cut, or maybe a colored stone, in platinum definitely. And I really did not want a round or princess cut. Fiance thought all engagement rings were round stones in yellow gold settings. We talked about budget and such and we went though an oval phase that didn''t end up working out. Fiance just couldn''t come to terms with the difficulty of finding a fancy online since we couldn''t see it in person, and really thought that round diamonds just looked more engagement-y to him. So I ended up with a round (in a platinum setting). I have zero regrets, and even though I still admire cushions and emerald cuts, I love my ring and I have no plans on changing it.

 

[stbfyffe]

Date: 9/17/2007 11:06:49 PM
Author: KimberlyH
''Honey, you can choose whatever ring you like...please let me do the same'' and hi-ho-hi-ho-it''spearshoppingwe''llgo. It''s your ring, get what you love...tell him you wouldn''t pick out a VW Rabbit for him if he really wanted a hummer and the same should go for you.

Ha, I tried putting it in that perspective since he LOVES cars and you want to know the load of crap he came back with "Well if it came from you I would love it and appreciate it because it is the thought that counts"

I know for a fact that if i was to buy a car without speaking to him about it first he would be very upset.

I do like the idea of him buyng me 2 rings! I''ll run that by him and see what he says

 

[Delster]

Oh how I wish my BF would express any opinion AT ALL about any of this stuff...

He's so solidly in the whatever-pleases-you camp that it gets frustrating. I know, I have little to complain about! Actually there is one exception to his amazing whatever-you-love-baby-generosity and that is my hair. He's such a typical man that way! He chews all his fingernails off when I go to the hairdresser cos he's TERRIFIED I'll cut it all off!

While I think the ring should be something you BOTH like, at the end of the day you have to wear it every day for the rest of your life. Does he have strong opinions about the rest of the ring (modern / vintage / pave / plain etc.)? I know you said you want no sidestones, plain solitaire etc. but is the ring design (as opposed to the stone shape) something that you can work on together? Or what about the wedding band? Can you come to a compromise there? You get the pear, you work together on the band(s)?

If that fails, tell him you'd buy him a Barbie Special Edition VW Bug, see if that sets the cogs turning at all...

 

[stbfyffe]

Ok, so we talked this weekend and come up with a compromise....He loves a ring with sidestones, I like sidestones...so we agreed that I get the pear and he gets sidestones. We wil probably pick out a couple than he will make the final selection. And I am cool with that

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 9/24/2007 4:37:04 PM
Author: stbfyffe
Ok, so we talked this weekend and come up with a compromise....He loves a ring with sidestones, I like sidestones...so we agreed that I get the pear and he gets sidestones.

Interesting solution! I am so BAD but the first thing I thought of when I read this is how AMAZING Round stones look with Pear sides!!!! Honestly, check that out in person ... you know ... just to be *SURE*

 

[FireGoddess]

Sounds like a win-win to me...you get a pear, AND you get sidestones. What''s not to love?!

Try looking at the SMYPears thread for some ideas!

 

[stbfyffe]

Firegodess, YOUR ring is beatuiful and if I was a halo girl it would be your ring that I would show him...I do love your band...I might suggest that w/o the halo.

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 9/24/2007 10:11:25 PM
Author: stbfyffe
Firegodess, YOUR ring is beatuiful and if I was a halo girl it would be your ring that I would show him...I do love your band...I might suggest that w/o the halo.

Thanks stbfyffe - I am very happy that you are going to get your pear! I will say, it''s very nice that pears (in general) look bigger than rounds for their size...and the thin band also does a lot to make the stone appear even larger.