He wants to change his last name!

[JAMSRING]

My boyfriend has joked for a long time that he was going to change his last name to mine when we get married because he does not like his last name. It is really long and has "tits" in the middle. I never really thought he was serious about it and I always imagined changing my name to my future husbands last name. I dont particulary feel all that fond of my name either. Again I never thought he was serious nor did I think his mom would react well to that since his dad died when he was young and it was the one connection he still had with his father. Well I guess him mom actually brought it up with him today. She was frustrated because her e-mails sometimes get filtered/blocked from some workplaces because of the "tits" part of the name. I am a teacher and that aspect never really crossed my mind! He suggested we create a new name or take mine. What an interesting thing to now have to ponder along with wondering when he will actually propose!

 

[KatM]

that''s cute! it sounds pretty open-minded of him, too. lol, i don''t even know anything further about your guy but it sounds like i would like him.

 

[sunnyd]

Interesting...so you both get a new name!

 

[Erin]

I say you make up a new name.
My exboyfriend''s grandfather did that and now anytime you google the name it will always be direct lineage to him.
Kinda cool!

 

[bensbride]

Wow, that's very interesting! I have a friend who loves her fiance but isn't thrilled about taking his last name. I'm not sure he's as open-minded about it as your guy is! We probably don't help because we tease her with baby names that sound horrible with her fiance's last name...but if you knew what it was you'd laugh too...I promise!

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

You know, I read somewhere (I forget where, though) that it is entirely normal to create a new last name that neither party has when they get married. I think it might have been on the knot... maybe. I wondered who would do that, but in this case, I vote for creating your own last name. Maybe, depending on what your last name is, you could create something in the middle - combine part of yours/part of his, that way you''re not losing the heritage aspect of the whole thing. As for me, I''m happy to take his - normal, English last name - and get rid of mine which is derived from Dutch and hardly anyone can pronounce!

 

[Selkie]

I know at least two couples who have used the woman''s last name, and another who merged their two lasts into a new name. So, it''s not that odd a thought. The only thing is, the system is set up to make it easy for women to change their last name through marriage, but men have to go through a more extended legal name change process. So keep that in mind.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I tried (only semiseriously) to get my husband to change his last name to no avail. I really liked my maiden name, and DH''s last name is Swedish and kind of hard to pronounce. At least no one ever knows how to spell it, but then says, "Oh, like it sounds" after it''s spelled out for them.

And it''s not even his ancestral name. His great-grandfather changed his last name from Andersen because someone with the same name kept picking up his checks at work. At least the new name is much less common than Andersen/Anderson, so I am easily googleable, which I guess is more fun than being lost in a crowd.

I like the idea of picking another last name from either side of your family that you like or creating a new one. I think the problem for my husband would have been explaining over and over again why he decided to change his name. But everyone will understand your boyfriend''s reasoning.

 

[rubybeth]

I think that's super cool that he wants to change it. My dear S has also said he would take my last name, or hyphenate, or whatever. He just wants us to have the same name so we feel like a family; doesn't care which name it is. If you want to read more perspectives on this than just ours in this forum, I can really recommend the indiebride forums, too (kvetch.indiebride.com). There's a whole forum for name changes, and I think you'd find people do it in all kinds of ways and how they handle questions about it, etc.

 

[designchica]

Wow, that''s a great idea! I think its cool that he is thinking outside the box and going against tradition. Very cool!

 

[Patchee]

I bet he was abused by his last name in high school...

may be true and that plays on you..

 

[JAMSRING]

Update: I asked my bf last night how serious he was about the name change. He said 40%. I think the last few days he has been thinking about his late father and the emotional impact changing his name might have. I playfully teased him and said "oh like the emotional impact it has had on woman for generations" he he! He laughed and said that was a valid point. Anyhow, who knows what we will jointly decide, but I am sure glad I have an open minded bf who, as somebody said, "thinks outside the box." I really have no problem taking his name, I just know as a teacher it might get me an intersting nickname behind my back! lol!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

We have friends whose husband''s family name was from another country and quite long. His father simply shortened the existing name. Their last name is now Lynn instead of a few syllables that were hard to pronounce. I think I''d prefer shortening the name to simplify it and get rid of the offensive part. I think your children would appreciate it, too!