I''ve lurked on these boards off and on in the past year. Everyone here is so wonderfully supportive and I''ve learned more than I ever thought there was to know about diamonds. As much as I love visiting PS it usally makes me a little sad too. I feel like being engaged is never going to happen, that we''re at a comfortable stand still. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years. We started living together shortly after we started dating and knew this was it pretty quickly into the relationship. We''ve discussed marrying but the conversation always seems to end with him saying if you want to we can go to the court house right now and call it done... ha ha
We just purchased a house together and just about everything else in our lives is meshed as if we were married, but we aren''t even engaged. And yeah, part of me thinks the formality of engagement seems silly when we''re already living like a married couple and we could skip it all and go to the court house or vegas or whatever... but I have a little materialistic nagging that I still want a ring and for him to ask me formally not to just assume I''d say yes. I know I shouldn''t feel that way over a piece of jewelry, I am lucky to have found such a supportive and wonderful man to spend the rest of my life with and I should have patience and assume things will fall into place in time, but it''s so hard to wait. It''s hard to live the life without it being a real marriage. And when it''s so easy as he says to just run down to the court house, it makes me feel so silly to say no, just because I want the ring first.
We''ve been ring shopping just once about a year ago, and all it did was cause a fight... in his mind we were wasting the jeweler''s time looking with no intent to buy... in my mind you have to see what''s out there to even start to think about what you want and have an intent to buy, neither of us had any idea on what a proper budget should be. So frustraiting... I want to be part of the process of picking out a ring, something we both can agree on jointly. It''s a big purchase and the majority of our money is in a joint account anyway and I have offered a portion of my personal savings... but he insists if I want a ring he wants to pay for all of it, and if it''s him that''s paying for it, he wants it to be something I would be proud to wear the rest of my life... not just something we both could afford right now... As sweet as that is having his man ego take over something that he cares little about... I know he''s not a saver and we didn''t even get to diamonds when ring shopping because he got sticker shock looking at the settings... It''s hard to picture him ever being able to put enough away for his ego to be satisified. I refuse to let him finance it as we have enough student loan, car and now mortgage debt as is. I handle most of our finances. It''s a stand still and he''s comfortable in it, but I''m not and it''s all over a ring that hasn''t even been picked out... aren''t I silly?
Well I''ve rambled on long enough... if anyone bothered to read this through. Thank you for listening.
We just purchased a house together and just about everything else in our lives is meshed as if we were married, but we aren''t even engaged. And yeah, part of me thinks the formality of engagement seems silly when we''re already living like a married couple and we could skip it all and go to the court house or vegas or whatever... but I have a little materialistic nagging that I still want a ring and for him to ask me formally not to just assume I''d say yes. I know I shouldn''t feel that way over a piece of jewelry, I am lucky to have found such a supportive and wonderful man to spend the rest of my life with and I should have patience and assume things will fall into place in time, but it''s so hard to wait. It''s hard to live the life without it being a real marriage. And when it''s so easy as he says to just run down to the court house, it makes me feel so silly to say no, just because I want the ring first.
We''ve been ring shopping just once about a year ago, and all it did was cause a fight... in his mind we were wasting the jeweler''s time looking with no intent to buy... in my mind you have to see what''s out there to even start to think about what you want and have an intent to buy, neither of us had any idea on what a proper budget should be. So frustraiting... I want to be part of the process of picking out a ring, something we both can agree on jointly. It''s a big purchase and the majority of our money is in a joint account anyway and I have offered a portion of my personal savings... but he insists if I want a ring he wants to pay for all of it, and if it''s him that''s paying for it, he wants it to be something I would be proud to wear the rest of my life... not just something we both could afford right now... As sweet as that is having his man ego take over something that he cares little about... I know he''s not a saver and we didn''t even get to diamonds when ring shopping because he got sticker shock looking at the settings... It''s hard to picture him ever being able to put enough away for his ego to be satisified. I refuse to let him finance it as we have enough student loan, car and now mortgage debt as is. I handle most of our finances. It''s a stand still and he''s comfortable in it, but I''m not and it''s all over a ring that hasn''t even been picked out... aren''t I silly?
Well I''ve rambled on long enough... if anyone bothered to read this through. Thank you for listening.
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