he WAS going to get the ring today...

[mjertl]

My BF has the day off and I asked him if he was doing anything fun this afternoon. He got weird and smiled and coyly said "maybe." I asked what he was up to, and he asked if I would for sure say yes if he asked me to marry him... I said (kidding) that no, I changed my mind, and he said then he didn't have any fun plans for today. So basically he was going to get the ring this afternoon.
Well, a few hours later I got a text from him saying "the studio that makes the ring that I was going to get is closed during October may need to go with plan b." This of course warranted a phone call from me... He said they told him it would take 8-12 weeks to make the ring, but he is planning on proposing sooner...
The ring is really the only surprise about our upcoming engagement - I don't know what he's getting (though I gave him lots of guidance) and I don't want to take that away from him (though the suspense is driving me nuts). I don't want him just to settle for something he doesn't love, or doesn't think I'll love, just because he's under a time crunch, but I also don't really want to wait 3 more months! (not that that would kill me, but you know what I'm talking about)
He has a bunch of pictures I printed of rings I really like (plain bezels, like this: http://www.briangavindiamonds.com/home/ring-details/?product_id=5365), and I told him any of those online vendors (brian gavin, WF, brilliant earth - they all have essentially this same ring. JA does not really) would be fine, or I listed 4 local jewelers that do custom work that have good reputations...
I wonder if he already has the stone.
He is making me nervous! I don't want him to make rash decisions! I'm so excited, but also kinda nervous.
Thanks for listening to my long rant. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated

 

[mogster]

Do you think he might be trying to throw you off? I could be wrong, but it seems a little bit strange that a bezel ring would take 2-3 months to make and that a jewelry store would be closed for a whole month.

 

[mjertl]

hmm, I never considered he might just be trying to throw me off track. I have a feeling he isn't. He texted me a bit ago saying this had become a very busy afternoon, so I don't think he's kidding.
We only saw one ring in person that I really liked when we were shopping in town. It's at a boutique-y jewelry store, and made by an artist-jeweler. I had a feeling he would maybe go with that ring, as it's something we were both able to SEE before hand, but I suppose it could be possible that that artist is not working this month for one reason or another... Honestly, it wasn't EXACTLY what I pictured when I pictured my engagement ring, and part of me was hoping he'd go with something more like the ring I posted a link to, though I did love the one we saw in person very very much. Honestly, I'm just excited to make things "official"!

 

[mjertl]

Also, I really hope he already had the diamond before today... We all know that finding a good deal on an amazing stone can be a challenge - just showing up at a store and expecting them to have that is maybe a little unrealistic. Or, maybe i've just been corrupted by PS! I'm sure whatever he picks will be beautiful in person... After all, it does not take a PS-perfect stone to be a beautiful stone
I'm just wondering if my shellac manicure scheduled for next Friday (I was pretty convinced he'd ask me next Saturday for a variety of reasons) will be a waste. Well, I have job interviews the next week, so at the very least my nails will look great for those! I am thinking now that the proposal will not be next weekend

 

[Amys Bling]

Do you think he might be trying to throw you off? I could be wrong, but it seems a little bit strange that a bezel ring would take 2-3 months to make and that a jewelry store would be closed for a whole month.

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[mjertl]

no, definitely not, we talked about it. He said he had been pretty sure what he was going to do, but now he's not...
He's looking at ascher stones, which I like, but I would be picky about, and would want one that's a bit bigger so the face-up size is adequate and the faceting pattern is distinct (rather than looking at first glance like a princess stone, which I don't like). I told him about my concerns, and that I thought he should look at oval stones too... My original request was RB, oval, or ascher. I said I'd be willing to help him select a stone, because the thought of him getting something that isn't worth his money (either due to quality or me not loving it) breaks my heart.
The B and M store he's going to is fine, but I asked him if he's having them custom make the setting, since I know they dont have what I want stocked. He said they could do that, or they could take a "cathedral" setting they already have, remove the prong head, and put a bezel head in. i am not OK with that... They said that when we looked there together - their "cathedral" doesn't meet up with the part that holds the stone, and the profile would not look at all like what I want, and what I picture in my mind looks kinda cheap. I told him my concerns, drew pictures, told him I wouldn't be OK with that.
And now I'm feeling like a bad person... i don't want to be pushy, and I don't want to be picky or materialistic... But I do want to spend my life with him, and do want to wear this ring for the rest of my life. I'm not going to be an "upgrade" kind of person, I'm pretty sure about that... At this point I would rather just be involved in the whole process, honestly. I'm worried he's going to make rushed decisions because of a time frame he has in mind (which isn't all that important, honestly), and settle for something that isn't quality, and spend a lot of money on something that isn't what I would love. I feel like such a terrible person right now for being so concerned about something that honestly isn't the most important thing in the grand scheme of it all... I am actually at home alone crying right now.
sorry to vent, I'm just pretty upset...

 

[lvcushion]

The way you feel is totally normal and you shouldn't feel guilty! You are on PS, which means you know a thing or two about what you want, and this is a huge financial decision. It is so hard to let go of the reins and let someone else choose something so important as an engagement ring. It sounds like you have done all you can to let him know what you want and now it's out of your hands. I know it's nerve-wracking...I feel the same way. But I am trying my best to trust that he knows me and I have explained it enough to him so he can make a good choice. It is easier said than done, but try to have faith, and now get ready to enjoy an exciting new chapter in your life. Good luck and keep us updated!

 

[mjertl]

Well, after a weekend of mixed emotions (wanting to feel really excited, but being kinda worried, and knowing my very sweet boyfriend is stressing about this...), today I told him I was going to go to the jewelry store he'd been going to, to look at some stones myself and get a better idea of what I want for shape, cut, etc (I thought I knew, but suddenly got kind of a bad feeling in my gut when he said he was looking at asschers - I love the macro shots of those lovely step cuts, but in person they look small on my big fingers )
Well, I ended up spending over 2 hours with the person my BF worked with on Friday. Turns out my BF is planning on coming back there Wed morning to look at stones they're bringing in. After my visit, they're bringing in a bunch of different stones, and I'm going to go see them first Tuesday night... The jewelry also asked me to email him pictures of settings I like, so he can assure my BF does a good job and keeps it kind of a "surprise"... Given my finger shape, I'm excited to look at some ovals and emeralds Tuesday (and RBs). I think I will like ovals better, but we'll see. (yes, I realize they're very very different! I like many many cuts of diamonds, just need to see more up against my finger before I figure out what I want to look at forever )