Hello from a new LIW

[Phdecorate]

hi, I have been busy on here checking out RT and SMTB but finally got over to LIW and it looks like fun too, so here goes!

My BF and I have been together over 4 years. We have both been married before and have been discussing marriage and doing some half serious ring shopping for the last two. We have stepped up the looking the last few months, pretty much ever since we bought a house together and completely furnished it (my other passion).

He can't fathom all the looking and checking out PS, which he has watched me do night after night while he watches tv, but I feel the same about choosing a fabric as I do about a ring, there are SO many out there and some many different considerations, but I want it to be perfect! And a ring is sooooooo much more expensive than a piece of fabric or a chair....

My ex bought me a pear solitaire, which I picked because my mom has one too. It was a 1.21 ct but long and skinny and looked a lot bigger. I had a 1 ct 5 stone WB. So first I wanted a RB solitaire with another 5 stone but after lurking here I fell in love with the Victor Canera halo. This was after a brief sway towards a Christopher Designs halo with a cushion which I saw in person and was gorgeous. But ultimately, back to the RB. And I REALLY like the idea of something completely different this time!!

So we have narrowed it down to a few stones, a big diff in both size and price. He wants me to pick the final one, I kind of want him to, as I don't want him to feel I am pressuring him or pushing him to spend a certain amount.....

So we are kind of playing a waiting game and I don't know what to do next! I just keep thinking, that VC halo is going to take at least 6 weeks.....

Any suggestions?

 

[maebelle]

Welcome (and don't worry, you'll be on the list on the next update )


Waiting gets harder the closer you know something is. All I can tell you is that PS helps A LOT. You can talk all about it with us and we won't get tired of it, we're all in the same boat

 

[Phdecorate]

Yes, just lurking on PS has been a huge help. I tend to over think, overanalyze and detail obsess everything I am really interested in. I did the same with finding a house, decorating etc, so I expect it of myself but it wears everyone else out.

 

[maebelle]

I not even married yet and we live in a rental that I can't paint, but I already have our whole hypothetical house decorated and our hypothetical kids named. It's fluid of course, but I'm ready for anything. Over analyzing rules

 

[Phdecorate]

Hey nothing beats a plan. My dad always says, those who fail to plan, plan to fail! Works for me....

 

[star sparkle]

Hey nothing beats a plan. My dad always says, those who fail to plan, plan to fail! Works for me....

I love this! I'm also a HUGE planner and I think sometimes it drives BF nuts, but what can I say? I just love having a plan. His ideal world is not planning anything and winging everything, but that drives me nuts so my planning wins out.

Welcome!

 

[Phdecorate]

Not my BF. He plans, makes a decision with xxx amount of info, however much he thinks he needs, and that is it. No second guessing, no additional research. Sometimes good, sometimes not, right? Isn't the planning part of the fun? Not to mention the satisfaction of getting it exactly right? (or at least as close as possible)

 

[audball]

Welcome! I love the saying! I'm a fellow over analyzer! We won't get sick of your stories if you don't get sick of ours

Do you have a rough timeline? Like by the end of the year or sooner?

 

[Phdecorate]

Actually...we have talked about getting married by the end of the year! Sooooo...I would think/hope soon but not really sure. I don't want a big wedding. I would be happy just the two of us, but my mom would be so upset and my dad can't really travel, so maybe just the four of us. I would like there to be a little engagement enjoyment and planning (obviously, as you know already I am a planner/overanalyzer ) so it might be next year for the wedding. I can't believe how fast this year is going by.....summer is right around the corner!

 

[audball]

Actually...we have talked about getting married by the end of the year! Sooooo...I would think/hope soon but not really sure. I don't want a big wedding. I would be happy just the two of us, but my mom would be so upset and my dad can't really travel, so maybe just the four of us. I would like there to be a little engagement enjoyment and planning (obviously, as you know already I am a planner/overanalyzer ) so it might be next year for the wedding. I can't believe how fast this year is going by.....summer is right around the corner!

That's exciting! There are several of who are wanting/planning to elope. Check out the thread we got going a week or so ago (called Describe your Ideal Wedding!) where most of us shared our planned elopement ideas!

 

[Phdecorate]

Although, I should mention, last year we had talked about getting married last year.......he he. However, we are really settled house wise, life wise, together now and that was important for us to do first. Plus our talks and ring shopping have been much more serious, so....

 

[audball]

Although, I should mention, last year we had talked about getting married last year.......he he. However, we are really settled house wise, life wise, together now and that was important for us to do first. Plus our talks and ring shopping have been much more serious, so....

It all sounds promising!

I know when we first started looking Andrew had NO clue that it could take so long to buy something. Guys seem clueless that way. We started looking for fun in January, bought a stone on February 3rd which we lucked into being fabulous (it's on OEC so we wouldn't know for sure it was 'good' until we got our hands on it). First try was the charm so we got lucky there. Then we sent it to the jeweler of our choice to find out the girdle was too thin to be set in the setting we wanted. So it then went to a diamond cutter, and back to us, and back to them, and now it's finally at the designer over 2 months after we got it. And seemingly things have gone super smoothly and have all come in earlier than the estimated time frame. I told him we needed to allow 6 months for shopping/the purchase and when it's all said and done ours will be pretty close to that.

 

[Phdecorate]

Well I saw your thread, and it all goes back to the planning, I agree. You are just taking all the steps to make it perfect and therefore so much more exciting.
Ok, well I better go get some stuff done today, (I am off from work and have my nose stuck into this iPad on PS) before SO gets home and wonders why I am still in my gym clothes....

 

[audball]

Hahah...nice.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

Not my BF. He plans, makes a decision with xxx amount of info, however much he thinks he needs, and that is it. No second guessing, no additional research. Sometimes good, sometimes not, right? Isn't the planning part of the fun? Not to mention the satisfaction of getting it exactly right? (or at least as close as possible)

Welcome Phdecorate (love the name!). It IS fun here, I hope you enjoy it! This is my second go-around here. Like you I had a relationship that didn't work out. We were about to get married but so many things changed for us, and I couldn't go ahead with a wedding. But life is wonderful in that we get second chances at things like love, and I'm excited that you're planning the next step with your current bf! We would love to see what you'll be getting, feel free to post pictures

In terms of the above, I absolutely LOVE planning. I like laying out options, picking the right combinations, mixing and matching... and my boyfriend will just have a panic attack if he has to do any of that. Right now I am trying to put together a small getaway for us, and he doesn't even ask me details, just where are we going, when, what kinds of clothes do I need to pack. And you're right, sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad! My bf insists on being left alone to pick out an engagement ring when the time comes for us, but that just freaks.me.out because he's the type that will go in guns blazing and confident, and then slowly either experience sticker shock or become overwhelmed with options, have a mental freakout, and pick the first thing he sees with very little thought.

Anyhow, it's always great to see a new face around here, I hope you'll stay active in posting!

 

[Phdecorate]

Doing my best on the posting...this is a great outlet. Got the SO frustrated last night when I spent a few hours on PS and checking out diamonds on line. He is not one for all the searching. Like if you find one good enough, and it fits into xxx budget, what is wrong with stopping right there. Well, hello, what if there is a better deal, better stone, something else out there....and then I don't want to push him in a direction he doesn't want to go, aka over budget. See, first I wanted a solitaire, so less on the setting however, paired with a much bigger WB, so cost is still xxx. Then I saw that VC halo, so more $$ for the setting and longer to get, however, paired with a smaller WB and total cost is still less than xxx. Yet, to him, somehow more drama (lack of a better word) to put all that together. Option three, saw a bigger stone, much bigger, but that could still come around xxx or just a little more, if it was back to the solitaire (the halo would take it too over ) and same smaller WB.

To me, both option 2 and 3 worth considering, good positives on both choices. I think he should pick or we keep searching. Part of the problem with being so involved and into planning, I guess that means I am a bit of a control freak too..... but I still like some romance to it.

I am still learning, need to keep these PS visits to myself!!!!!

Thanks for the welcome too, this is fun!

 

[audball]

Aww...I hope he comes around. The search is half the fun! Hopefully he'll see that and won't get too frustrated with you about it anymore.

 

[Mico]

welcome!

my boyfriend is the same way. Where as I'm use to researching big investments to death - he doesn't want to look until he has enough money to make the purchase when he finds something he wants at the time. Therefore I've been researching over the past month or so and he's just... saving.

which setting were you looking at?

 

[audball]

Andrew is a researcher by nature, but for things that interest him. The diamond itself wasn't uber interesting to him. I think he could have been really into it if I weren't. Engineers tend to like getting into the angles and such. But he knew how much I already knew about it and how important it was to me to be involved so he let me take the reigns.

 

[Phdecorate]

welcome!

my boyfriend is the same way. Where as I'm use to researching big investments to death - he doesn't want to look until he has enough money to make the purchase when he finds something he wants at the time. Therefore I've been researching over the past month or so and he's just... saving.

which setting were you looking at?

A Victor Canera halo (have you seen Frankie's ring and Susiemoo's? Sarahbear just got one too.) RB stone.

And SO is ready to buy I think, it's not a saving thing, but I think he wants to feel I am sure it is the right stone, and I feel like that is a lot of pressure. We have a few narrowed down and there is a bit of difference in price and size so I feel he should pick......

 

[audball]

welcome!

my boyfriend is the same way. Where as I'm use to researching big investments to death - he doesn't want to look until he has enough money to make the purchase when he finds something he wants at the time. Therefore I've been researching over the past month or so and he's just... saving.

which setting were you looking at?

A Victor Canera halo (have you seen Frankie's ring and Susiemoo's? Sarahbear just got one too.) RB stone.

And SO is ready to buy I think, it's not a saving thing, but I think he wants to feel I am sure it is the right stone, and I feel like that is a lot of pressure. We have a few narrowed down and there is a bit of difference in price and size so I feel he should pick......

I would tend to agree with you in this situation. When you're down to a few choices and it comes down to budget he should pick. It didn't work that way for us because we were shopping for an old cut and were examining one at a time. So we had to decide if this was one we were keeping or going to keep looking sort of thing.

 

[Phdecorate]

welcome!

my boyfriend is the same way. Where as I'm use to researching big investments to death - he doesn't want to look until he has enough money to make the purchase when he finds something he wants at the time. Therefore I've been researching over the past month or so and he's just... saving.

which setting were you looking at?

A Victor Canera halo (have you seen Frankie's ring and Susiemoo's? Sarahbear just got one too.) RB stone.

And SO is ready to buy I think, it's not a saving thing, but I think he wants to feel I am sure it is the right stone, and I feel like that is a lot of pressure. We have a few narrowed down and there is a bit of difference in price and size so I feel he should pick......

I would tend to agree with you in this situation. When you're down to a few choices and it comes down to budget he should pick. It didn't work that way for us because we were shopping for an old cut and were examining one at a time. So we had to decide if this was one we were keeping or going to keep looking sort of thing.

Makes sense, Audball! Guess what though, another stone came into the picture today. It could be the perfect solution....stay tuned

 

[madelise]

Ooh! Your ring sounds like it'll be gorgeous!! I'd love to see what you turn out with!

 

[audball]

Oooh! Tell us about the new stone!