Help! Feeling silly..

[MrsHToBe]

Hi ladies! I normally post over on LIW, as I''m not yet engaged, but I need your expert help/advice!

FF is close to purchasing a ring/proposing, and has now given me the go-ahead to contact the church I envision us getting married in. The problem? I don''t know how! Like I said, silly.. right?
I keep trying to write this e-mail, but keep getting myself into backspacing h-e-l-l, worrying that I sound too informal, and more like a giddy schoolgirl, writing to her favourite boyband, lol.

How should I word it?

A bit of extra info: I was baptized there as a child, but have not been to a service in years, after moving 4+ hours away. I do not even know if they perform wedding ceremonies there, to be honest, as it is a very small church. So, I basically need to know if the will perform the ceremony, and if so, would we need to become members of the congregation again for it to happen..

Geez, I''m such a frazzled nutjob.. this is probably way easier than I make it out to be!

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 8/24/2009 8:52:52 AM
Author:MrsHToBe
Hi ladies! I normally post over on LIW, as I'm not yet engaged, but I need your expert help/advice!

FF is close to purchasing a ring/proposing, and has now given me the go-ahead to contact the church I envision us getting married in. The problem? I don't know how! Like I said, silly.. right?
I keep trying to write this e-mail, but keep getting myself into backspacing h-e-l-l, worrying that I sound too informal, and more like a giddy schoolgirl, writing to her favourite boyband, lol.

How should I word it?

A bit of extra info: I was baptized there as a child, but have not been to a service in years, after moving 4+ hours away. I do not even know if they perform wedding ceremonies there, to be honest, as it is a very small church. So, I basically need to know if the will perform the ceremony, and if so, would we need to become members of the congregation again for it to happen..

Geez, I'm such a frazzled nutjob.. this is probably way easier than I make it out to be!

I don't think I'd email a church - that's just seems very impersonal. As the church isn't close by why don't you give them a ring.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I would call, and then email them if you get the go ahead, just so they have all the information written down for them, and an easy way to contact you.

Do your parents still regularly attend that church? Maybe you could ask them for advice for how to approach it?

 

[MrsHToBe]

Date: 8/24/2009 9:24:28 AM
Author: MakingTheGrade
Do your parents still regularly attend that church? Maybe you could ask them for advice for how to approach it?

Unfortunately, my parents have never attended a service there. I always attended services with my grandparents, who have both passed (as have my Godparents).

 

[cammy85]

I think it can''t hurt to give them a call - mention that this was the church you were baptized in and have since moved away, however you are looking to see if they would talk to you about performing your wedding there. If they do weddings, a lot of churches have standard procedures they would go through - which also say whether you need to be a member or not, so I don''t think you should be embarrassed at all about asking these questions. If they do weddings, you can ask about rehearsals, cost of using the church or even if there is any literature they can send you for your information.
No harm in asking

 

[charbie]

i have to agree. give them a call. in all honesty, they should understand and be happy to help with the planning. sometimes it is more expensive if you are not a member at the church, but most churches like to be accommodating, seeing as they are pretty excited you are getting married in the church.

 

[katamari]

I personally don''t see any problem e-mailing. That way they can get back to you at their leisure. But, if you want to make a personal contact, a phone call might go a little further here.

Since you and your future-FI do have some time still, you might want to consider talking your parents into going back to services at the church and you and your future-FI could go with them any time you are in town.

 

[lulu66]

MrsHToBe, hey, i have no advice but wanted to say, you''re not alone! i was thinking about this the other day. the church i want to get married in is the church i grew up in (my parents still attend); however the twist came because i''m catholic. marriage preparation classes are required, so do i contact the church i attend (sporadically) now to speak with the priest and set up marriage preparation classes or do i do all that through the church i want to get married at???? no clue. but we don''t have a date yet, so i''m not super worried...but like you i''m still a little nervous to contact them and find out the information! we''re both a little crazy, i think

good luck to you...let me know how it goes, so i''ll get some confidence!!

 

[bee*]

I would call them rather than email them. I remember when I was trying to contact my church, it was far easier being able to do everything over the phone and it comes across as more personal than an email.

 

[LilyKat]

Don't be nervous. Is it because it's a church that you're feeling worried? Most churches now are staffed by friendly, approachable humans, not austere old-fashioned holy beings

Churches, even small ones, will be used to getting enquiries about weddings and yours won't be anything out of the ordinary. You aren't asking to hold a rave there.

Just pick up the phone, say hi, that you're calling to ask about possibly holding your wedding at the church, do they ever allow that, and if so, could you speak to whoever deals with them? Then tell them you were baptized there, and although you moved away it still means a lot to you. Give them your dates and guest numbers and requirements, and take it from there.

I can pretty much guarantee you'll wonder what you were worried about!

ETA: If you want to email them, just word it as above, in the same way you would email any other venue or vendor. No need for excessive formality. Start it with "Hello" to avoid needing to know whether to use Reverend or Sir/Madam or whatever.

 

[laughwithme]

I would stop by in person, if you''re close. People at churches tend to be verrry personal and understanding and kind (at least in my experience.) Don''t be nervous!

 

[cammy85]

the other thing too, i planned our wedding long distance. we got married at my childhood church, which my parents are still members of and, due to the distance, could not attend the premarital counseling they offered at the church. As a compromise, our minister found someone local to us who was willing to do our counseling and that was good for them.