Help. Half empty tables??

[kama_s]

I need some valuable insight from you ladies, because I feel my spirits sinking low. We wanted to have a small wedding. The only problem that no one tells you about having a small wedding is that when some of your close friends can't make it, you end up having a non-existant wedding. A few of my really good friends couldn't make it to the wedding because my ex-supervisor in grad school insisted they attend a conference the same weekend as my wedding. This conference ALWAYS happens mid to late July, but for some reason it was pre-poned to end of June this year. I love these people, and I know we'll celebrate with them post-wedding, but it still does bring you down. Anyways, so my final number was 60, with around 70 being actually invited. I made my seating chart and everything was all set.

Then I find out YESTERDAY that two of our friends can't make it to our wedding because of this fantastic job opportunity that came his way - job takes him out of town for 3 weeks, too far to fly down for a day for our wedding. We're quite sad, but definitely understand his position. My concern now is that the table they were at now only has 6 guests. The table seats 8, and upto even 9. So 6 would make it look quasi empty.

Then I found out two hours later that one of Mr. Kama's close colleague's husband's grandmother passed away and they might be flying down to Hongkong. I know how close he is to his family, and I'd want them to stay in HK for as long as they need to without worrying about missing our wedding. The table they were seated at had 7 guests altogether, so now it would be 5.

So now I have TWO tables that will look empty, and there is no way I can fit people of either table onto any other table. Should I just leave the tables as they are? I've heard it's disrespectful to seat people at a half empty table.

Would it be too late to send an invitation to two girlfriends who I just couldn't decide whether I should invite or not to our 'close family and friends' wedding (and I didnt end up inviting because I figured it shouldn't take me this long to make a decision). The one other reason I'm thinking of inviting these two girls is because I feel like my side is not well represented in this wedding, since all my family/family friends are away and half of my friends couldn't make it due to the conference conflict. Wedding is in 4 weeks.

I would love some insight. I feel like I can't rationally process any information in this mush brain of mine.

 

[neatfreak]

I think it's fine to invite these 2 girls with a month out under a few circumstances:

1. They don't know they weren't invited.

2. You call them personally and explain that you really wanted to have them there but couldn't due to space restrictions and now you can and that you would LOVE it if they could make it.

As for the tables-I would see if there is any way you can add a few to these tables. If not-try to space out the chairs so the table literally doesn't seem half empty. It'll be fine!

I'm sorry Kama-it is one of the bad things about having a small wedding!

 

[kama_s]

Neatfreak, I was really hoping you''d reply to my post because you''re always full of great insight. If I do invite these two girlfriends, then it would somewhat fix my table situation (well, at least for one table). I just don''t want them to feel like they were a last minute addition. No one wants to know they were the B-listers, ya know?

If I do end up having fewer people at those two tables, could I just hold off the extra chairs. So, just add 5 chairs to that table and space them out?

It is, indeed

. I just figured that if these are our very close family and friends, everyone would be there. I just didn''t take into account that sometimes life gets in the way! I''m having a small dinner at my place post-wedding for those who couldnt make it...it seems like THAT is going to end up being the big wedding party!!

 

[Gypsy]

Leave them as they are hon. We had the same thing happen. Tell the vendor not to add extra chairs to that table, so it isn''t as noticable. And just go with it.

You can ask somepeople (who wouldn''t be offended at a last minute invite) to attend as well. I asked 2 PSers I know from GTG and who are friends. One wasn''t able to attend (short notice does that), but Violet was able to and it was wonderful having her there!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Kama_s - Yes I would invite the two other friends. Get the invites out TODAY! I would give them two weeks to reply. And yes I would simply set the correct number of chairs at the table for the number of people at the table. I think it will be ok. Its not like you have a table of 3 or 4.

I went to a wedding, and I was clearly at the miscellaneous table. There were 4 of us at a table that sat 10. It was ridiculous and really lonely. The one couple I knew had to leave early. And the other single dude was mingling. I didn''t know what to do with myself. So I left early too. I think so long as you have 5 at a table of 8 it will be ok. I

I hope your two other girlfriends will be able to come!

 

[kama_s]

Thank you, Gypsy and Ilovesparkles for the serious positive energy! I have already spoken to one of the two girlfriends and I'm hand-delivering the invite to her house tomorrow. Hopefully, she's able to make it that weekend - she's already excited by the prospect of an invitation!

I'm going to call the other girlfriend after she's done work today and ask her. And then hand-deliver the invite to her as well.

The rest, well, I'm just going to have to adjust the chairs!

Thank you girls, you made me feel sooooo much better. I think I'll have Mr. Kama take me out to dinner, because I dont feel like cooking and there's nothing a good dose of Thai (food) can't fix!

ETA: I would seriously love to invite Ilovethiswebsite and Allycat to the wedding, since they live so close to me. BUT they're both either getting married on the day of my wedding, or the next day! Haha. You girls dont mind flying out from the States, do you??

 

[Gypsy]

LOL. It''s a little far, unfortunately otherwise I''d love to (seriously). But thank you honey.

 

[kama_s]

Haha, damn. And here I was already plotting on "borrowing" the pendant for the wedding.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Kama, FI and I are available to be seat fillers.

 

[kama_s]

Woohoo! We need to have an official PS seat fillers list!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

My wedding looks like it''s be about 70-80, so close to your size, yay for small weddings!

I originally planned on tables of 10,but then I decided that I would just see what the final count was, and then try to see what the best way to evenly divide them would be, lol. So If if I end up with 74 people, I''ll just do 6 tables of 7 and and 4 with 8, to minimize on half tables.

It sounds like you have 54 people coming? (60 minus the 4 who had to last minute leave), so maybe 6 tables of 9? Or are the seats not arrangeable like that?

I also agree you can invite your other friends. Also, I don''t know if you are feeding the vendors, but they''ll require seating somewhere too for when they eat presumably?

There are a lot of ways to manipulate table seating, like doing a sweetheart table with just the two of you. Then you could move 2 people from the table of 7 or 6 to the table you had yourselves at originally, and combine the rest into a table of 9 etc... I''m sure it''ll all work out!

Even if it doesn''t, I don''t think being a table of 5 when other are a table of 8 would really stand out. I for one wouldn''t really notice, especially if I knew the people I was sitting with I''d personally rather sit with my 4 friends, than 7 strangers at a full table.

 

[allycat0303]

I did seating charts with my MIL yesturday, we had 3 hours of fun. I have a table of 5 (my 2 BRIDESMAIDS!! No less) because they can''t have alcohol on the table, so they can''t sit anywhere else, we also have a 2 tables of 6. We aren''t doing anything about it. We discussed inviting 2 people that were really on our *maybe list* but we ended up not doing it for many reasons. Mainly because on our RSVP the date to respond is WAY past, and they would know they weren''t initially invited

.

If your friends can''t come, and it really bothers you, do you have any single friends? I would borrow 2 from other tables (have 2 additional tables of 7 and call it a day). Your tables are probably the same size as mine. If your friends are petite, you could also spread out the 5 over 5 tables and make 5 tables of 9. Personally though, I prefer 5 because it makes for better conversation, and you can talk more intimately. And there''s nothing worst then having elbow banging. Don''t worry too much about it!

Oh yeah, and I would have DEFINITELY been there if I wasn''t getting married. Would have had a blast too!

 

[Kellybell]

I had the same dilemma! We were originally expecting around 70 people. 65 RSVP''d yes, and we ended up with only 62 (we had 3 people who could not come at the last minute.) We were also originally targeting 8 people per table, and I ended up with one table of 6. It was honestly fine! I couldn''t even tell that there were fewer people at that table than at the others. We just removed any extra table settings and chairs, and spaced the 6 people evenly around the table, and it worked out great! Hope this helps.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Date: 6/2/2009 4:38:59 PM
Author: kama_s
Woohoo! We need to have an official PS seat fillers list!

Hahahaha... I love this idea

I think that if you space the chairs out well enough, and remove the extras, it will be fine. I mean, even better if your girlfriends can attend (and there''s nothing wrong with asking them later than everyone else... the worst they can do is say ''no'').

Don''t fret too much- it will work out just fine.

 

[mayachel]

I see you''ve already decided to invite them, but I just wanted to add that I agree with your choice. I think as long as it comes across that you aren''t looking for seat fillers, but that are suddenly able to accommodate a few more people than you expected it should be fine.

 

[kama_s]

Thank you, dear ladies, for all your suggestions! Speaking out on PS is so therapeutic, especially for times when I feel like I'm not thinking straight!

MakingTheGrade, Ally, Kellybell and Pilsn: I think I'm going to space out the chairs, and maybe rearrange some of the people onto other tables. It's just that while I dont want empty space, I still want people to sit with others they know. So I would probably prefer having just 5 on a table as opposed to breaking the 5 that know each other well to seat them on tables they wouldn't know anyone. Or break tables to transfer the singles to a table where they wouldn't feel as comfortable. It's hilarious how distraught I was over this yesterday, but know I'm fully zen. If there's empty space, then so be it. I'm hoping people are coming to celebrate our union, and wouldn't mind having a semi-empty table!

 

[kama_s]

Date: 6/2/2009 9:37:39 PM
Author: mayachel
I see you''ve already decided to invite them, but I just wanted to add that I agree with your choice. I think as long as it comes across that you aren''t looking for seat fillers, but that are suddenly able to accommodate a few more people than you expected it should be fine.

That was my primary concern as well, but I''m hoping I dont come across as that. They both know I''m having a very small intimate wedding, and didn''t expect to be invited. I''m going to speak to them personally and deliver the invite by hand. I''m hoping it goes over well.

 

[mayachel]

Friends understand. Good luck!

 

[Diamond Confused]

ask the other friends. how would they ever find out they are b-listers

 

[kama_s]

Woohoo! Friend # 1 is delighted to come!

Meeting friend #2 within the week.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 6/2/2009 3:12:42 PM
Author: kama_s
Thank you, Gypsy and Ilovesparkles for the serious positive energy! I have already spoken to one of the two girlfriends and I''m hand-delivering the invite to her house tomorrow. Hopefully, she''s able to make it that weekend - she''s already excited by the prospect of an invitation!

I''m going to call the other girlfriend after she''s done work today and ask her. And then hand-deliver the invite to her as well.

The rest, well, I''m just going to have to adjust the chairs!

Thank you girls, you made me feel sooooo much better. I think I''ll have Mr. Kama take me out to dinner, because I dont feel like cooking and there''s nothing a good dose of Thai (food) can''t fix!

ETA: I would seriously love to invite Ilovethiswebsite and Allycat to the wedding, since they live so close to me. BUT they''re both either getting married on the day of my wedding, or the next day! Haha. You girls dont mind flying out from the States, do you??

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

too cute!!! thanks hun! i shall be there in spirit and am totally looking forward to meeting up at the airport for a shared cupcake (or two!)

 

[kama_s]

Worry not, I''ve already asked our baker to have them packed and ready to go for us! OH YEAH. OH YEAH.

 

[katamari]

Date: 6/3/2009 8:21:04 PM
Author: kama_s
Woohoo! Friend # 1 is delighted to come!

Meeting friend #2 within the week.

Yay!

 

[kama_s]

Date: 6/2/2009 2:13:56 PM
Author:kama_s
Then I found out two hours later that one of Mr. Kama's close colleague's husband's grandmother passed away and they might be flying down to Hongkong. I know how close he is to his family, and I'd want them to stay in HK for as long as they need to without worrying about missing our wedding. The table they were seated at had 7 guests altogether, so now it would be 5.

They're coming! Oh my gosh, I feel so honoured and special - they made sure their return flight was 2 days before our wedding. I can't believe it. I honestly didn't want them to feel stressed about attending our wedding, and I am just amazed at how wonderful our friends are. I guess this is what happens when I go in with zero expectations.

So, I found out my mother's coming for sure too! Man, oh man. There are the bad days....and then there are good days

 

[Sparkalicious]

Date: 6/4/2009 11:40:13 PM
Author: kama_s
They''re coming! Oh my gosh, I feel so honoured and special - they made sure their return flight was 2 days before our wedding. I can''t believe it. I honestly didn''t want them to feel stressed about attending our wedding, and I am just amazed at how wonderful our friends are. I guess this is what happens when I go in with zero expectations.

So, I found out my mother''s coming for sure too! Man, oh man. There are the bad days....and then there are good days

Yay, kama! I''m thrilled for you ... Good days are the best, aren''t they? Bad days are only there to make us appreciate good ones all the more.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 6/4/2009 11:45:47 PM
Author: Sparkalicious

Yay, kama! I'm thrilled for you ... Good days are the best, aren't they? Bad days are only there to make us appreciate good ones all the more.

True say, Sparkalicious. Wise words indeed!

Katamari: Thank you for your support!