Help! How soon is too soon to plan a wedding?

[die for diamonds]

Hi there!

Since I''m a newbie, I figured I''d fill you in... My FF and I have been good friends since elementary school and ended up getting together about a year after college. We''re together almost 3 years. We moved in together after 4 months, since I pretty much knew him my whole life and there would be no surprises. I knew I would be engaged around the May/June timeframe based on the fact that he knows EXACTLY what I want and I know he''s been shopping around. I do ask that he surprises me during the proposal and the actual ring purchasing, but I knew that it would be around this timeframe and that''s it. I also always pictured a long (year and a half) engagement, ideally getting married around Fall 2010.

Unfortunately, his mom became very ill suddenly and I''m scared that we won''t have much time to plan a wedding. While this has postponed my engagement indefinitely (since I thought I''d be engaged last month when this all happened,) I''m pretty sure that we''ll be engaged soon and he''ll want to plan a fast wedding so his mother can see us get married.

I totally understand this and agree with it-- if the tables were turned, I would jump through hoops so my mom could see me get married. But I''m just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I will likely have to plan a wedding so quickly. There''s so much I want to do before the wedding. I see myself as one of those people who just relishes in a long engagement, but it seems as though it just won''t happen that way.

So my question to you ladies is-- what is the shortest amount of time to plan a fairly large wedding. I''m not a very "low key" person, but I CERTAINLY won''t be a bridezilla. I have a pretty down to earth personality, yet I love to be the center of attention sometimes. However, I do care about the venue and the band and getting everything together beforehand. This includes a nice shower and bachelorette party.

Any thoughts on a short engagement? Have any of you been in a similar situation?

Thanks so much for your feedback and for reading this far!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, a friend of ours has a daughter who got engaged a little over a year ago. His parents were about to leave the country (job related) and would nto be returning for a couple of years. So they made the decision to go ahead and have the wedding before they left. They had less than one month. No, it was not an elaborate wedding, but it was in a church, she wore a wedding dress, and they had a simple reception at the church. Their close friends and family came and they had a beautiful wedding. That''s the shortest time record of all the people I know!

In our case, we got engaged in October and just decided we wanted to get married sooner rather than later, and Christmas break was our only opportunity for a honeymoon unless we waited until summer. So we planned a wedding in 6 weeks. Again, bought a wedding dress that fit right off the rack, called a florist, caterer, photographer, ordered rush invitations, got bm dresses for our 3 sisters in time.

So, it can be done unless you want a huge elaborate wedding. And in this case, you might consider the smaller wedding for family and close friends and have a larger reception later, if desired.

 

[DiamanteBlu]

It is never too soon to start planning a wedding in the sense of figuring out what you want and where to get it. If you have it figured out ahead of time you will be faced with fewer decisions.

We had a small wedding [the 2nd for both of us]. I knew we were going to be getting married so I ordered my dress [a red satin strapless evening gown]. Once we decided which date range would be good [early Dec.] we got the whole thing done in about 3 weeks. It was a very formal event for about 22 people. We called the guests [because of the short notice] as soon as we figured it out and then followed up with formal invites. If we had had a larger group, we would have used a larger room at the inn we selected.

We have been planning to do a large, killer bash for our 10th anniversary [with renewal of vows] so we can invite those that we did not invite for the wedding too. [But now I''m thinking that maybe I should get some new bling instead! LOL!

]

If you want to do it quickly, you certainly can - and have a beautiful wedding. I''d say the major constraint would be letting people know so they can plan to attend. If it has to be small - so be it. You can do a larger party later if you still want.

 

[April20]

Honestly, I think you can plan a wedding in a very short time frame as long as you''re willing to make quick decisions and realize that you might not be able to get *exactly* what you want. If you know engagement is imminent, you might want to go ahead and start researching venue options and other things that can have long lead times.

DH and I were engaged for about 11 weeks give or take and had a medium sized wedding with about 140 guests. We had already found a venue when we got engaged and started some *very* preliminary planning discussions, but that was it. We didn''t book the venue until after we were engaged, but we did know what dates were available already. The wedding came together beautifully and not once did I wish we had had more time to plan things out.

 

[smiles]

First off, Welcome!!

I have seen people plan very elaborate weddings in 2-3 months time.

That said, have you talked to your FF about it? Why don''t you see exactly what his thoughts are and maybe you can start getting things together so you have a "head start"!

 

[LilyKat]

I agree that a great wedding can be planned in just a few months (or even weeks). I also think the process is greatly speeded up if you''ve already thought about what you want, done some preliminary research, etc. So in your case, I definitely don''t think it''s too soon to start looking at what you want, putting together a folder of ideas, and so on.

However, I would resist the temptation to actually start buying things or putting down deposits or talking to everyone about it, unless you were sure your fiance was on board with it. So: absolutely yes to private planning, but "open" planning only if you''ve discussed it with your fiance and family first.

 

[lulu]

I was in a similar situation. I was in denial. I thought my mom would beat the breast cancer. We finally got married in her hospital room and she died two hours later. Don''t procrastinate.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 6/13/2009 9:35:44 AM
Author: lulu
I was in a similar situation. I was in denial. I thought my mom would beat the breast cancer. We finally got married in her hospital room and she died two hours later. Don''t procrastinate.

{{{{hugs}}}}


I agree. Go ahead and start the planning other than putting down deposits. Find out what dates are available, prices, etc. Pick out as much as you can (colors, invitations, etc.). That way, when he proposes, you''ll just have to make some phone calls and go look for a dress, etc. I hope he realizes that your engagement and wedding will give his mom something to look forward to, so he should get going asap.

 

[die for diamonds]

Wow, thank you so much for all of your amazing suggestions and words of encouragement. What a relief to know that it can be done if necessary.

I really appreciate all the suggestions I have gotten (and I will get.)

I will of course keep you all posted with everything that happens-- hopefully good things only.

 

[lilmissrugger]

I''m so sorry that you''ve been put in such a position, but no need to worry! You can make an amazing wedding happen in no time, as long as you do research and as much preliminary "pre-planning" as possible. Start browsing wedding websites and looking at invites, color schemes, etc. Research never hurts!

Good luck!