Help! Really need date advice...

[Alison P]

I''ve been engaged for about three months, and really need to choose a date asap. Here''s where I''m at:

We''re looking at the JW Marriott in Palm Desert, where they''ve worked with me (I work for Marriott) on a really great package at a really great deal. I''m on a major budget because of our new house and my new ring! A good reason to be on a budget I guess!!

So the options are:

1. May 31st 2008, JW Marriott, Palm Desert, CA

PROS:

- This date really works for all of my nearest and dearest friends and family. No date earlier in the month was working out at all.
- This is the last date before the weather goes crazy hot out here in the desert.

CONS:

- The average temperature that time of year is 95. The ceremony is outdoors at sunset, reception inside. It is not uncommon to have the high at 105.
- I ran a budget slightly lower than what is realistic, although I could make the wedding work, just without a couple of wants (the photography and floral budget, as an example, is extremely tight if we did it this date).
- If we did a honeymoon, the likeyhood of putting it on a credit card would be extremely high. Really wanted to pay cash, and I feel like we may wind up forgoing it because it just wouldn''t be enough time to save.
- Save the Dates would need to go out this month (most all are out of state travelers). It would be a big rush to get them out that quick.
- Overall, I feel like this is really quick to save enough to stay in budget and to keep my sanity.

2. August 2008, some other location TBA

PROS:

- Great weather
- Good date for everyone
- A little more time to try to save up

CONS:

- Can''t get the same great deal
- Starting over from scratch on the planning
- Hiring outside vendors instead of having it all setup for us
- Hard to match JW''s great property - everything would all be in one place.

3. March 2009, JW Marriott, Palm Desert, CA

PROS:

- Really great weather
- Plenty of time to save $, definite great honeymoon
- Much less stress
- Guests would have an more enjoyable experience

CONS:

- Seems like an excessively long engagement.
- Have some kids that I coached everyday for about 6 years that just started college on the East coast - they would have to buy a ticket over Spring Break if they wanted to come on this date.
- Hotels room prices and airline ticket prices are usually higher during this month - it''s a resort town, and this is "in-season".

Any suggestions or advice out there??? THANKS!!!

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi Alison,

If saving money is your ultimate priority, option #3 would certainly give you enough time. It sounds like you really want the first option to work out though. It seems like you'd have plenty of time to send out save the dates and invtations in plenty of time if you plan the wedding for May 31st (that's the date, right?).

 

[Gwyn]

I dont think it would be too horrible weatherwise in May. The JW is very pretty. I have stayed there often. They are big big bucks too so its awesome that you got a deal. I would probably take the first option

If you like palm springs I think the Viceroy palms and la quinta are less expensive. also a restraunt called cuisot is pretty reasonable (of corse there are no rooms there for guests).

I looked into all these places for my wedding but really wanted something a little closer to LA where we live.

 

[Alison P]

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said I want it to work in May. The thing is, though, I think it''s less about May and more that I want to be able to
(1) Get married in a normal timeframe (2) on a date that works for everyone (3) at this wonderful place where we''re getting some great associate perks.

But I also want this engagement to be a fun time in my life. Right now the stress is just really getting to me. Especially knowing that I will be short on cash and on time to make it all happen. It gives me a sick feeling in my stomach! lol...

Does anyone out there have a long engagement, and if so, how is it going? Good decision, or just to long?

 

[E B]

From the information you've given, it looks like March of 2009 is the best choice. You still get the full package AND the time to plan. And really, it isn't a TON of time. I had 2 years, which was excessive, but you'd be only ~15 months out (says a countdown clock). It wouldn't be the shortest engagement, but it won't be forever. It might just feel like it sometimes.

As far as the extra $$$ for the plane tickets, maybe you can make a note of this on a wedding website so relatives can buy them in far enough in advance to skip the extra cost (or is it high because of March, regardless of when you buy?). Also, many hotels will give a reduced rate if you block a group of rooms for a wedding.

 

[xapora]

If I were you I''d pick #3. You listed some really good pros for #3 and the cons weren''t as bad as they were for the other two options. Also, we picked a date barely a year away from our engagement and now that we''re almost there I''m sort of thinking I wish we had made the engagement a little longer. In my experience it went too quickly!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 10/13/2007 8:57:24 PM
Author: EBree
From the information you''ve given, it looks like March of 2009 is the best choice. You still get the full package AND the time to plan. And really, it isn''t a TON of time. I had 2 years, which was excessive, but you''d be only ~15 months out (says a countdown clock). It wouldn''t be the shortest engagement, but it won''t be forever. It might just feel like it sometimes.

As far as the extra $$$ for the plane tickets, maybe you can make a note of this on a wedding website so relatives can buy them in far enough in advance to skip the extra cost (or is it high because of March, regardless of when you buy?). Also, many hotels will give a reduced rate if you block a group of rooms for a wedding.

Yeah, I think I agree. I know I already gave my thoughts, but really, it''s almost 2008 already, so waiting until 2009 isn''t really 2 years.

 

[aljdewey]

I''d really go with the 2009 date.

While the May 2008 date has some benefits, I think those benefits would be nullified by the stress from trying to make things work in budget, trying to save, and getting things done in that time frame.

 

[Pandora II]

I''m having a 19 month engagement - which has been great planning wise. FI and I do live together already though so nothing really changes practically speaking after we are married.

If you live apart I could understand wanting a shorter engagement, but otherwise March 09 sounds good.


If you really want May 08, you could always have your honeymoon later on and just go away for a few days straight afterwards.
My wedding is July 08, but honeymoon won''t be till December/January as we want to go to Sri Lanka and that is the best time of year. We''re going away for 3 days dinosaur hunting straight after the wedding on the South Dorset coast instead. In many ways it will be really nice to have something to plan and look forward to after the wedding. I reckon you can suddenly feel a bit flat and deflated after all the whirlwind of planning, the day itself etc and then suddenly you are back at work etc etc

 

[Alison P]

Thanks for all your great advice! I did just find out the the kids I coached for so long all have competitions in May 09, which drove me crazy as I was really starting to feel like that was "the date" that it would all come together. Clearly, it''s always something!

I did a 2 hour consultation with a wedding planner (which by-the-way was a GREAT experience if you are choosing not to have a planner for budget reasons - what an awesome alternative!) and he really emphasised the fact that this should be FUN and enjoyable. That sounds a lot better than being a stress ball!!!

We did move into our first house already once we knew we were going to be getting engaged, so that makes a longer engagement easier. Otherwise I would have gotten married in Vegas the day he proposed so I could see him everyday!